My Dearest Rachel,
This blog is about how much friendship and family means to me. Regardless of how you treat me and if you ever reconcile with me you are my dear friend. You are family. I rarely get as close to anyone as I did you and I love you with all my heart. You were the only woman I wanted to have children with. I loved your son and wanted to raise him as my own. I loved you for all you were and are and even if you didn't see it then then maybe you will see it now. You just don't know how blessed you are to have family like you do. When I was growing up it was basically just me and my brother, mom and dad. I had a few cousins I am close to and my aunt and grandmother but that was it. My mothers father died before I was born and my father's dad died when I was five I never really had the chance to have a grandfather. You never knew how important to me you and Jonathan were and still are. I wanted to be with you because I felt that the love and gifts I had to give would be special to you and you wouldnt abuse them. I wanted to have a son or daughter with you because I know you are a good mother to Jonathan, the foster kids you help, and the children you take care of. I saw the kindness and goodness in your heart and that it could be gentle, warm, and patient. I wanted to love someone that I could be there for and would be there for me. You never knew how happy finally meeting Jonathan was for me. You never knew how happy finally being with you meant to me. If you had of only known how many tears were welled up on my face when I was with you Ray Ray. They were tears of joy and I couldn't cry and I couldn't wait to see you again and then you abandoned me. You meant the world to me Rachel and I did want to spend my life with you. I wanted to be with you and Jonathan and whatever other kids that you took care of along the way. I wanted to be a citizen of both the U.S. and Canada and was very proud of being with you and your culture. You were my fourth Canadian girlfriend but you were the only girl that made me want to be in a long term relationship. Rachel I love you so much and I ask God if anything that we just reconcile. He knows how much I love you and Jonathan and I will just keep praying and putting my faith in Him that you will come back and you will think about what has actually transpired and how that through all this I am still here for you and love you unconditionally. My arms are open, my heart is open, all is forgiven and I want you back in my life Ray Ray. I wanted a family with you and I would still want that. I love you that much that no one else in this world would be able to take my heart from you. I really wish you would reconcile with me. You are my family, my best friend, and my Sister in Christ always I wont give up on you.
Playlist of Love for Rachel.
Dear Rachel I wanted to dedicate these songs to you tonight to let you know I love you. I hope you take the time to listen to them and if there were things I could say a year on about how much I love you and miss you these songs embody that sentiment. I love you.
This song goes before the others its a cover of I Love You Till The End By The Pogues
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siCBuEm7U2Y&feature=related I will keep loving you and believing in you and hopefully you will know I was truly the one meant for you.
1. Landlocked Blues by Bright Eyes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6707rEMoUo4
2. The Night I Lost the Will to Fight by Cursive http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip3knIMCtEA
3. Best I Ever Had by Vertical Horizon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bOCEp2lETI
4. I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love by Chicago http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM6GFzUpKcw&feature=related
5. Haunted by Poe http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3lBF2h-Pl0
6. Anyone Else But You from the movie Juno(originally by Kimya Dawson) this is how much I love you Rachel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBDbUVXXp-U
7. Still in Love With You by Thin Lizzy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcVqvYIMthI
8. Breathe Your Name by Sixpence None The Richer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwo-xezj7Ts&ob=av2e
9. Don't Wanna Fall in Love(live) by Jane Child http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl3FOBw0_5c
This song is dear to me one because she is the woman that made me believe in all that women are(at age 14 in 1989) besides my mom , she was the first Canadian person I loved musically that wasn't punk or rock and she did everything by herself a strong independent woman like the one I fell in love with named Rachel Myatt.
10. Hope by the Descendents http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCr_GQl2mjE
11. Everything By Material Issue http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NtEbFcQ-Yg&ob=av2e You mean the world to me and I wanted to be this to you Rachel
12. Black by Pearl Jam(Acoustic) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyVrKQWBfRg
13. Your House by Alanis Morrisette http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whv0cNjCz7U&feature=fvst
14. Someday We'll Know by The New Radicals http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKQ9bW8lJsE
15. Broken by Lifehouse http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6cdPeYJh0s&ob=av2e I ended with this song because even though you dont see how bad you hurt me and I am broken I never gave up on life because I love you. I didnt want to leave you to deal with the pain of me giving up because I love you. I stayed alive cause God loved me and because He knew I loved you and He gave me the strength to go on. I never looked at you as damaged, or broken, or different. I didn't plan on falling in love with a woman with a child but you and Jonathan became all I wanted in life. I am sorry that my flaws and imperfection weren't able to be looked past and just be loved for. I loved you for everything you were. You couldn't give me the same and only ridiculed me and put me down like others have.
I love you Rachel I want you in my life again. I love you. I dont want this to last anymore. I miss you. I care for you. I am sad without you because you are my best friend. I can go on without you but I know I was never meant to. If any man has ever loved you its me. Everything I have done has been to show you I truly do care for you and I am worth loving and I love you and would never leave you and Jonathan. I pray that one day soon you will make peace with me. God Bless you tonight. I love you so much. You are my family. My love. My dearest Friend and I dont want to live too much longer without you in my life. For the rest of your life Rachel Myatt know that you truly broke someones heart and someone loved you for you. I loved your smile, your laugh, your indecision, your son, your heart, and all of you. God is moving moutains in front of you with a love so true and giving me tremendous strength to let you know how much I care. Had you been any other women I would have walked away. You were the last woman I will ever love because I was truly in love with you. You never took the time to look in my heart and now it has no more love to give.
love
B
This blog is about how much friendship and family means to me. Regardless of how you treat me and if you ever reconcile with me you are my dear friend. You are family. I rarely get as close to anyone as I did you and I love you with all my heart. You were the only woman I wanted to have children with. I loved your son and wanted to raise him as my own. I loved you for all you were and are and even if you didn't see it then then maybe you will see it now. You just don't know how blessed you are to have family like you do. When I was growing up it was basically just me and my brother, mom and dad. I had a few cousins I am close to and my aunt and grandmother but that was it. My mothers father died before I was born and my father's dad died when I was five I never really had the chance to have a grandfather. You never knew how important to me you and Jonathan were and still are. I wanted to be with you because I felt that the love and gifts I had to give would be special to you and you wouldnt abuse them. I wanted to have a son or daughter with you because I know you are a good mother to Jonathan, the foster kids you help, and the children you take care of. I saw the kindness and goodness in your heart and that it could be gentle, warm, and patient. I wanted to love someone that I could be there for and would be there for me. You never knew how happy finally meeting Jonathan was for me. You never knew how happy finally being with you meant to me. If you had of only known how many tears were welled up on my face when I was with you Ray Ray. They were tears of joy and I couldn't cry and I couldn't wait to see you again and then you abandoned me. You meant the world to me Rachel and I did want to spend my life with you. I wanted to be with you and Jonathan and whatever other kids that you took care of along the way. I wanted to be a citizen of both the U.S. and Canada and was very proud of being with you and your culture. You were my fourth Canadian girlfriend but you were the only girl that made me want to be in a long term relationship. Rachel I love you so much and I ask God if anything that we just reconcile. He knows how much I love you and Jonathan and I will just keep praying and putting my faith in Him that you will come back and you will think about what has actually transpired and how that through all this I am still here for you and love you unconditionally. My arms are open, my heart is open, all is forgiven and I want you back in my life Ray Ray. I wanted a family with you and I would still want that. I love you that much that no one else in this world would be able to take my heart from you. I really wish you would reconcile with me. You are my family, my best friend, and my Sister in Christ always I wont give up on you.
Playlist of Love for Rachel.
Dear Rachel I wanted to dedicate these songs to you tonight to let you know I love you. I hope you take the time to listen to them and if there were things I could say a year on about how much I love you and miss you these songs embody that sentiment. I love you.
This song goes before the others its a cover of I Love You Till The End By The Pogues
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=siCBuEm7U2Y&feature=related I will keep loving you and believing in you and hopefully you will know I was truly the one meant for you.
1. Landlocked Blues by Bright Eyes http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6707rEMoUo4
2. The Night I Lost the Will to Fight by Cursive http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ip3knIMCtEA
3. Best I Ever Had by Vertical Horizon http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bOCEp2lETI
4. I Don't Wanna Live Without Your Love by Chicago http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HM6GFzUpKcw&feature=related
5. Haunted by Poe http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3lBF2h-Pl0
6. Anyone Else But You from the movie Juno(originally by Kimya Dawson) this is how much I love you Rachel http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBDbUVXXp-U
7. Still in Love With You by Thin Lizzy http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcVqvYIMthI
8. Breathe Your Name by Sixpence None The Richer http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nwo-xezj7Ts&ob=av2e
9. Don't Wanna Fall in Love(live) by Jane Child http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pl3FOBw0_5c
This song is dear to me one because she is the woman that made me believe in all that women are(at age 14 in 1989) besides my mom , she was the first Canadian person I loved musically that wasn't punk or rock and she did everything by herself a strong independent woman like the one I fell in love with named Rachel Myatt.
10. Hope by the Descendents http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uCr_GQl2mjE
11. Everything By Material Issue http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1NtEbFcQ-Yg&ob=av2e You mean the world to me and I wanted to be this to you Rachel
12. Black by Pearl Jam(Acoustic) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iyVrKQWBfRg
13. Your House by Alanis Morrisette http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=whv0cNjCz7U&feature=fvst
14. Someday We'll Know by The New Radicals http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oKQ9bW8lJsE
15. Broken by Lifehouse http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6cdPeYJh0s&ob=av2e I ended with this song because even though you dont see how bad you hurt me and I am broken I never gave up on life because I love you. I didnt want to leave you to deal with the pain of me giving up because I love you. I stayed alive cause God loved me and because He knew I loved you and He gave me the strength to go on. I never looked at you as damaged, or broken, or different. I didn't plan on falling in love with a woman with a child but you and Jonathan became all I wanted in life. I am sorry that my flaws and imperfection weren't able to be looked past and just be loved for. I loved you for everything you were. You couldn't give me the same and only ridiculed me and put me down like others have.
I love you Rachel I want you in my life again. I love you. I dont want this to last anymore. I miss you. I care for you. I am sad without you because you are my best friend. I can go on without you but I know I was never meant to. If any man has ever loved you its me. Everything I have done has been to show you I truly do care for you and I am worth loving and I love you and would never leave you and Jonathan. I pray that one day soon you will make peace with me. God Bless you tonight. I love you so much. You are my family. My love. My dearest Friend and I dont want to live too much longer without you in my life. For the rest of your life Rachel Myatt know that you truly broke someones heart and someone loved you for you. I loved your smile, your laugh, your indecision, your son, your heart, and all of you. God is moving moutains in front of you with a love so true and giving me tremendous strength to let you know how much I care. Had you been any other women I would have walked away. You were the last woman I will ever love because I was truly in love with you. You never took the time to look in my heart and now it has no more love to give.
love
B
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