Dearest Rachel,
I think everyday of what it would be like if you put down this wall between us and we reconciled. I do love you very much. I am not ashamed or afraid of anything that I did to let you know I love you. God always lets things happen for a reason. What is happening now is for a reason. If you opened your heart to me again I wouldn't be afraid to face your family, your Church, or anybody because I truly do love you and I believe that you are worth fighting for. You see Rachel maybe you missed the point when we were courting but I wanted a family. I wanted a best friend. I wanted you. It wasnt some other woman that I was interested in. I was never promiscious, I never was with someone I didnt love. You though Rachel Myatt I was and I am in love with you. The way we talked and laughed and the way I thought you really cared about me when my mom died made me love you even more. When I came back though and you abandoned me I was devasted because for once in my life I truly felt a woman loved me. I didnt have to hold back my emotions from you. I could show you the worst and the best of me and you could do the same with me. I love you and Jonathan and I really did want to grow as a family with you two. Being with you was the most amazing time of my life and I am sorry that you didnt see the love, dedication, and patience I had in my love for you and Jonathan. I am sorry that you mistook my broken soul and my shyness for sadness. I am not used to being around my girlfriends family right off the bat so I was a little over whelmed but I was never scared of meeting them. I just didnt know how to react and I had so much on my mind. You know what matter to me most though Rachel? Keeping my promise to come be with you. Keeping my promise to my mom to always treat you good. Keeping my promise to Christ in loving you unconditionally. Through this whole year I have never stopped loving you. I have done what I have done because I care for you so much. It may have seemed at times I wanted to get back at you but that is not the case. I want you back and I want you to know that you are loved, you are special to me, and that our friendship, our relationship, our love of God is what brought us together and it can bring us back together. Rachel you are my best friend and because I feel that way toward you I have never doubted anything I am doing. God gives me free will to choose to ignore you, move on, and be angry or He the One who put this love in my heart for you has guided me to make it so much bigger. I will do whatever I have to in order to get your attention and to have you back in my life. I do love you and I have love for your family. I wanted to love Amanda so much because all I ever wanted was a sister and I did think the world of her and wanted to know her. I admired your mom and I did want to discuss religion, politics, music, and lots of other subjects with her. I wanted to spend time with you geocaching and doing all the other things you liked, you just assumed I didnt like it and I was just frustrated with the GPS that was all. Remember Rachel I was grieving I wasnt all there but that didnt mean I loved you any less or was sad. I was just overwhelmed with being with the woman of my dreams and losing the woman who taught me to go after my dream, my mother. I was in a state of shock but I loved you so much that I knew that coming to be with you was the right thing to do. Rachel Myatt you are the love of my life and I will say this right now. I have been on dates, I have been asked to be someone elses boyfriend in the past year. I have been offered all sorts of favors and other stuff but I want nothing and noone because I truly love you. I dont want sex, I dont want a temporary girlfriend, I dont want anyone but you. I wanted to court you for a couple of years and marry you but you Rachel are the song in my heart. I love you like no other woman I have ever met and I want you forgiveness and for you to take a second look at me. I want you to look at all the letters I wrote you, your emails, and music I shared with you. I made you a scrapbook and I had never made one before but it was Divine Inspiration and God's love who led me to do that. Rachel everything in my life points to you and even if you think I am crazy, obsessed with you, or infatuated I am not. I will never be. What I am is a man who truly loves you and I love you and Jonathan enough that I think about you everyday and miss you. I have wanted a partner and a wife for a longtime. My friends and family watched me go through a bunch of horrible abusive relationships. They know I am a good guy. Everyone believed in you Rachel. My customers at work were praying for me and even happy you and I were together. I have one lady that said to not give up on you if I truly love you. She told me to pray and each time she comes in she ask me if you and I have at least started talking. To my dismay I have to tell her no. I am tired of not hearing from you. I miss your voice, I wanted to hear Jonathans laughter. I wanted to hear about your day, about your caches, about you. Rachel I truly care for you and miss you. I am sorry you didnt know how much I loved you but I was truly in love with you. I kept myself pure and true to you because I believed in you. You are still in my heart. What I ask today is that you put whatever pain is in your heart over what I have done to hurt you aside. If I didnt love you so much I would have never reacted the way I did in the beginning but I did and I am sorry but it also made me stronger. Instead of give up on life, give up on love, and give up on you God made me stronger. He made me believe in you even more. So I ask that you reflect on how much I truly love you. Think about the other guys who didnt put all the effort and believe in you and Jonathan like I do. I still want both of you and there is still time to make things right. I even have money saved up that if we did make up I would love to come see you in the next couple of months. All is forgiven in my heart Rachel. I just want you to come back. I want to live my dreams out with you and Jonathan. There is no one else I love more than you two. I want to know and love your family and I ask for God to bless them all today. I ask for any of them who hold any animosity against me for loving you and not giving up to forgive me for any wrong that they felt I may have done. I ask for their love and for them to know that I care for you with all my heart. Ray Ray I love you so much and I still want to be with you. I want to hold your hand again, I want to travel with you, I want you to be my concert buddy, I want to be there all the time for you and Jonathan. Most of all Rachel I want to be one in the Lord with you and I am opening my heart to you today to see that. I wanted you to know most that was most important to me. Being a family with you and Jonathan, Being Baptized and being with you as one, Loving you forever. The love I have is true Rachel Myatt. Please know that in your heart. Please give me another chance. I love you and I believe that you can and will. I put it all in God's Hands and I pray about it everyday. You are the love of my life and though I can live without you, you are the one I dont want to live without
Ecclesiastes 7:8
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.
Proverbs 19:11
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
Rachel I chose these Scriptures today to emphasize that patience is one of the greatest lessons that was taught to us by Christ. Even though you and I dont talk now I have been here for over a year because I believe in you. I know the good heart, the love you have, and I know you love and care for me. I may have not always went about it the best way at first but I have done all that I am doing because I really do love and care for you. I ask that you put aside whatever it is that is keeping you from being away from me and just talk to me. I am humble, I am not angry anymore, I am full of love for you. I only want to love you again. I will listen to what you have to say as I always did but in return I ask the same. I just want an end to all this and praying and believing in you is the only way I know how. Have a blessed day I love you and Jonathan.
Since My Chemical Romance is opening for Blink 182 I dedicate this song Famous Last Words to you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzLKMtY04lE I truly do love you and if you listen to the words they are about forgiveness and about going against what others think because you know its the right thing to do. Loving you, forgiving you, and wanting to make peace with you is the right thing. I love you Rachel Myatt so much you just choose not to see it.
I think everyday of what it would be like if you put down this wall between us and we reconciled. I do love you very much. I am not ashamed or afraid of anything that I did to let you know I love you. God always lets things happen for a reason. What is happening now is for a reason. If you opened your heart to me again I wouldn't be afraid to face your family, your Church, or anybody because I truly do love you and I believe that you are worth fighting for. You see Rachel maybe you missed the point when we were courting but I wanted a family. I wanted a best friend. I wanted you. It wasnt some other woman that I was interested in. I was never promiscious, I never was with someone I didnt love. You though Rachel Myatt I was and I am in love with you. The way we talked and laughed and the way I thought you really cared about me when my mom died made me love you even more. When I came back though and you abandoned me I was devasted because for once in my life I truly felt a woman loved me. I didnt have to hold back my emotions from you. I could show you the worst and the best of me and you could do the same with me. I love you and Jonathan and I really did want to grow as a family with you two. Being with you was the most amazing time of my life and I am sorry that you didnt see the love, dedication, and patience I had in my love for you and Jonathan. I am sorry that you mistook my broken soul and my shyness for sadness. I am not used to being around my girlfriends family right off the bat so I was a little over whelmed but I was never scared of meeting them. I just didnt know how to react and I had so much on my mind. You know what matter to me most though Rachel? Keeping my promise to come be with you. Keeping my promise to my mom to always treat you good. Keeping my promise to Christ in loving you unconditionally. Through this whole year I have never stopped loving you. I have done what I have done because I care for you so much. It may have seemed at times I wanted to get back at you but that is not the case. I want you back and I want you to know that you are loved, you are special to me, and that our friendship, our relationship, our love of God is what brought us together and it can bring us back together. Rachel you are my best friend and because I feel that way toward you I have never doubted anything I am doing. God gives me free will to choose to ignore you, move on, and be angry or He the One who put this love in my heart for you has guided me to make it so much bigger. I will do whatever I have to in order to get your attention and to have you back in my life. I do love you and I have love for your family. I wanted to love Amanda so much because all I ever wanted was a sister and I did think the world of her and wanted to know her. I admired your mom and I did want to discuss religion, politics, music, and lots of other subjects with her. I wanted to spend time with you geocaching and doing all the other things you liked, you just assumed I didnt like it and I was just frustrated with the GPS that was all. Remember Rachel I was grieving I wasnt all there but that didnt mean I loved you any less or was sad. I was just overwhelmed with being with the woman of my dreams and losing the woman who taught me to go after my dream, my mother. I was in a state of shock but I loved you so much that I knew that coming to be with you was the right thing to do. Rachel Myatt you are the love of my life and I will say this right now. I have been on dates, I have been asked to be someone elses boyfriend in the past year. I have been offered all sorts of favors and other stuff but I want nothing and noone because I truly love you. I dont want sex, I dont want a temporary girlfriend, I dont want anyone but you. I wanted to court you for a couple of years and marry you but you Rachel are the song in my heart. I love you like no other woman I have ever met and I want you forgiveness and for you to take a second look at me. I want you to look at all the letters I wrote you, your emails, and music I shared with you. I made you a scrapbook and I had never made one before but it was Divine Inspiration and God's love who led me to do that. Rachel everything in my life points to you and even if you think I am crazy, obsessed with you, or infatuated I am not. I will never be. What I am is a man who truly loves you and I love you and Jonathan enough that I think about you everyday and miss you. I have wanted a partner and a wife for a longtime. My friends and family watched me go through a bunch of horrible abusive relationships. They know I am a good guy. Everyone believed in you Rachel. My customers at work were praying for me and even happy you and I were together. I have one lady that said to not give up on you if I truly love you. She told me to pray and each time she comes in she ask me if you and I have at least started talking. To my dismay I have to tell her no. I am tired of not hearing from you. I miss your voice, I wanted to hear Jonathans laughter. I wanted to hear about your day, about your caches, about you. Rachel I truly care for you and miss you. I am sorry you didnt know how much I loved you but I was truly in love with you. I kept myself pure and true to you because I believed in you. You are still in my heart. What I ask today is that you put whatever pain is in your heart over what I have done to hurt you aside. If I didnt love you so much I would have never reacted the way I did in the beginning but I did and I am sorry but it also made me stronger. Instead of give up on life, give up on love, and give up on you God made me stronger. He made me believe in you even more. So I ask that you reflect on how much I truly love you. Think about the other guys who didnt put all the effort and believe in you and Jonathan like I do. I still want both of you and there is still time to make things right. I even have money saved up that if we did make up I would love to come see you in the next couple of months. All is forgiven in my heart Rachel. I just want you to come back. I want to live my dreams out with you and Jonathan. There is no one else I love more than you two. I want to know and love your family and I ask for God to bless them all today. I ask for any of them who hold any animosity against me for loving you and not giving up to forgive me for any wrong that they felt I may have done. I ask for their love and for them to know that I care for you with all my heart. Ray Ray I love you so much and I still want to be with you. I want to hold your hand again, I want to travel with you, I want you to be my concert buddy, I want to be there all the time for you and Jonathan. Most of all Rachel I want to be one in the Lord with you and I am opening my heart to you today to see that. I wanted you to know most that was most important to me. Being a family with you and Jonathan, Being Baptized and being with you as one, Loving you forever. The love I have is true Rachel Myatt. Please know that in your heart. Please give me another chance. I love you and I believe that you can and will. I put it all in God's Hands and I pray about it everyday. You are the love of my life and though I can live without you, you are the one I dont want to live without
Ecclesiastes 7:8
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.
Proverbs 19:11
A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.
Rachel I chose these Scriptures today to emphasize that patience is one of the greatest lessons that was taught to us by Christ. Even though you and I dont talk now I have been here for over a year because I believe in you. I know the good heart, the love you have, and I know you love and care for me. I may have not always went about it the best way at first but I have done all that I am doing because I really do love and care for you. I ask that you put aside whatever it is that is keeping you from being away from me and just talk to me. I am humble, I am not angry anymore, I am full of love for you. I only want to love you again. I will listen to what you have to say as I always did but in return I ask the same. I just want an end to all this and praying and believing in you is the only way I know how. Have a blessed day I love you and Jonathan.
Since My Chemical Romance is opening for Blink 182 I dedicate this song Famous Last Words to you http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzLKMtY04lE I truly do love you and if you listen to the words they are about forgiveness and about going against what others think because you know its the right thing to do. Loving you, forgiving you, and wanting to make peace with you is the right thing. I love you Rachel Myatt so much you just choose not to see it.
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