Shattered Faith, Responsibility of Our Own Actions, Consequences of Dishonesty(A Message To The Myatt Family and Pastor Coleman Glenn)

This is a direct message to Rachel Myatt, The Myatt Family, and To Pastor Glenn and the Church of the New Jerusalem.
If you have taken the time to listen to the song and read the lyrics then it is all about having faith in ourselves.  Some of us are theist, some are agnostic, atheist, or we are of many different faiths, thought processes, and mindsets.  We always have a choice in what we do. Rachel had a choice she chose to be cruel and while she thinks hiding and pretending what she did was right or that just ignoring hte situation will make it go away it is not going to happen.  The damage was done and so now I share this story with people all over the world and instead of make things right with me and make peace she would rather bring shame on her family, her faith, and herself.  A few simple words in a phone call and this would all be over.  We always have free will. We have the will to love, to hurt, to lie, to be honest, and to tell the truth.   I take full responsibility for everything I said and have done.  I am not hiding.  Anyone can come see what I have written.  I keep my documents. I know the consequences of what I say and do.  If it causes me legal trouble oh well I am aware of that.  I dont blindly say things about Rachel or Pastor Glenn or the New Church without some kind of merit.  I have printed many fliers and told my stories and I will target key cities soon where there are Church of the New Jerusalem congregations.  I want to send a clear message to Rachel, To the Myatt Family, and to Pastor Glenn and the Church of the New Jerusalem.  I have free will too.  I chose to love Rachel and try to make things better even after she slandered me and talked ill of my dead mother.  I did everything in my power to make things right so I fought the good fight.  If Rachel or her family gets hurt by me telling the truth about what happened and discussing them it is on them.  I reached out for a long time.  It is up to them now I have always held out the olive branch but I see no one taking it.  My responsibility to be loving is in sharing this information about the New Church and Rachel.  It is my fate to make sure Rachel never treats a man like she treated me or the guys before her.  That she never lies or uses her faith a a crutch for people to love her or to say that no one accepted her faith because I did and that would be a lie.  I have emails to prove it.  If I have to post them in the next couple of days I will.  If Rachel wants me to go away then be a woman pick up the phone and I will go away forever.  I promised her last year all it would take would be a phone call and I would never write about her, say anything mean about her, and I would take down this blog but what did she do? Totally ignore it.  So if you want to live your life and continue hurting people Rachel Myatt that is cool.  If your family wants to coddle you in your fickle decisions and you let them make you feel like you dont deserve certain things that is fine.  I had people in my family like that but I told them I was  my own man and though I valued there opinions my life is my life to live.  So Rachel just remember you are free to live your life and so am mine.  You left me with hurt, despair, mistrust of women, the religious bigotry you expoused to me and most of all you ruined a  friendship and love so pure that it almost killed me.  So yes I have continued telling my story and it is on you and Pastor Glenn now.  If either one of you wants to end this and talk to me like a man I am here.  Rachel this is your burden though.  Think about all the pain and stress that would go away if you were woman enough to admit to being wrong.  You dragged so many other people into this and before I am done its going to get bigger and starting in the next couple of weeks I am going at this with full force. I am sorry you choose hurt, evil, and unrepentance over love, good, and true friendship.  You are truly lost to me and there is nothing left to do but make it known how you used me, played with my love for you and Jonathan, and messed with my dream.  I love you Rachel Myatt but you dont care. Why will it matter if everyone knows about you now?



Rachel Myatt you never appreciated the devotion, the honesty, and the dedication I had for you and Jonathan. You never appreciated my love of God. You never appreciated the fact that I wanted to be your partner and I loved you for all you were. You spit on my mothers memory with your cruelty and if your family was part of that then they spit on the blessing she left you all. I am sorry you were ashamed of me.  I am sorry you couldnt use human decency and respect me during a time of grieving instead of make outlandish and false claims.  I hope one day when your parents die that you will remember what a douche you were to me and how you treated me and you will understand how evil, cruel, and messed up a person you are.  You deserve for everyone to know who you are and whatever happens I tried to care.  I tried to keep loving you and do my best not to hurt you but your unresponsiveness lets me know its ok to tell everyone my story and you dont care how it affects you or Jonathan or anyone.  So I am sorry that I ever cared enough to love you and put my faith in the Lord to love someone so selfish and hateful as you.  You always had a choice Rachel and you have chosen to continue to hurt everyone.



God Bless All

Dear Jesus, I Love Rachel and I Need Your Help(Putting Faith In Prayer and God)

When Rachel and I decided to be together if you have followed this story one of the things I gave her was a scrapbook of how much I loved her and Jonathan, a promise ring, and a cd of songs that told a story of how much I loved her and wanted to be with her and Jonathan.  This was one of the final songs on the cd called "Love and Communication" by Cat Power.  It symbolized not only the beauty of the friendship we had and how we were able to talk out and communicate our feelings but the relationship we both had with God and that it was something beautiful that brought us together.  Maybe my choice of words in some of these blogs havent been very nice and some of my actions may seem harsh but the truth is I love Rachel with every being of my body and Jonathan too.  I am not out to get her as in revenge.  I laugh at anyone who makes the stalking or harrassment claim because I am simply voicing my feelings for someone who deep inside I know loves me.  I just wanted her to see through all this that even though she hurt me I still love her with all my heart and my promise to God means more to me than revenge, retaliation, or any kind of evil.  My mission in life is to love and if Rachel truly understood that she would lay down whatever walls she has up and make peace with me.  So below is my heartfelt plea for help from the  Lord Jesus Christ and to me this is serious and not a game and I hope it means something to anyone who reads this today because it is me barring my soul.

Lord Jesus Christ , My Heavenly Father,
I ask for your help today so that I may not fall astray into evil.  I need your help loving Rachel Myatt and letting her and the Myatt family know how much she and they mean to me.  Maybe they didnt see into my heart because of the tribulation I was going through following my mothers death but I loved Rachel, Jonathan, and had so much love for them all.  They didnt see that the person who was usually outgoing, funny, and always smiling had the weight of the world on his shoulders and for whatever reason I was judged.  I forgive them and I ask you forgive me for whatever wrong I have done to transgress against them.  Oh Father may your love shine on all of them and may you guide us to peace, reconciliation, and love.  Please give me the insight, the wisdom, and the guidance to deal with the New Church and to discern my battle with love and not with hatred, evil, or slander.  May I be able to use your Word and your Love to show Rachel that she is important to me and that when you Love us God that their is nothing we cant do even when it seems like things will never look up.  I have held on because of my faith in you Lord and I know you instilled this love in me for Rachel.  Rachel Myatt loves me and I know this. I know she doesnt know how to react to any of this but I ask Lord that you give her and her family the Love, the compassion, and open hearts to realize that I love them all.  You know what is in my heart Lord and that was never anything but to love people.  All these Machinations of evil that the Devil has tempted me with have worn deep into my soul.  I could hate Rachel and want revenge but I ask that you make people see the true love I have for her through this blog, through the power of music, and the love in my heart.  For all those who continue to look down on me, make fun of my cause, or persecute me I ask that you bless them.  I continue to love those people and as I have learned from your love in the past some of my greatest enemies have become dear friends.  I ask Lord that on this day you let the heart of the woman that you gave me love for to be opened to love me again.  I know through you Lord that love between me and Rachel Myatt can be established.  I love her and Jonathan like my own flesh, my heart, and my soul and I know you hear all my prayers.  Today this one means so much for me to hear because I would share it with the world because Rachel and Jonathan mean that much to me.  I ask continually for your blessing and kindness and please watch over Rachel, the Myatts, Friesens, Bakers, and all those in her family, Church, and all friends and loved ones.  I ask humbly as your servant for your consideration of my prayer My Lord.

Amen

Dear Rachel, Myatts and other family. Maybe Rachel has never known unconditional love from anyone but from family but to me she and Jonathan were family.  I was living to serve them and love them and I would do anything for both of them.  If any of you had anything against me and persuaded Rachel not to be with me which is how I felt then it saddens me. Her tone in her voice suggested that.  I love my family and friends to no end and I have had some pretty bad times with loved ones but they always come back.  Rachel means the world to me so I ask that anyone that is keeping her from loving me besides herself look into my heart and see that I was always meant to love her.   I will leave you with two scriptures from the Bible as reminders of how much I love God and how that love has extended to Rachel.  No matter how you percieve me I am human just like you and what has happened here is killing my love and you all know that is a sin.  Lets all put an end to it. God Bless


This scripture is for anyone who looks down on me and doesnt see that just like them I am one of God's Children.

Isaiah 53:3-4
“He was despised and rejected by mankind, a man of suffering, and familiar with pain. Like one from whom people hide their faces he was despised, and we held him in low esteem. Surely he took up our pain and bore our suffering, yet we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.”       


This scripture is to let everyone know that music was God's gift to me was music even when I was at my lowest and Rachel abandoned me it was music that lifted me up because of Gods love and wisdom. So I incorporate it in the love I have for all of you.

Psalm 108:1

My heart, O God, is steadfast; I will sing and make music with all my soul.




God Bless All

Easter Prayer, Life Is Unfair. Promise of God's Love

Dear Readers,
If you take the time to listen to the song above it is called "Child Psychology" by Black Box Recorder. it was banned in many countries because of its controversial nature. It is about people who know who they are and people who judge them for whatever is different about them. Rachel said I was sad, damaged, and mentally ill. I was grieving. She has no idea what it is like to lose a parent and when she said she would be there for me she put me down and was not there for me she made fun of my grief and kicked me when I needed friendship and love.  This song goes out to all the people who automatically always judge people and think they are sick because they dont live the way that you live.  Why would I put such a song up yet also talk about our Lord Jesus Christ and His Sacrifice to the world? Why Byron?  I put the song up because it is how Rachel treated me.  I was perfectly fine I was grieving and I loved her and Jonathan so much that even during my grieving process I cared enough to come be with them. She passed judgment and made accessments about things she had no idea or clue about. It was very UNCHRISTIAN and very harmful. I told her many things that were private and secret you would tell to someone you would truly love and if she didnt want to be with me I had given her an out ahead of time and told her about my life. She used those things against me to justify the evil and transgressions she held against me.  What I did and have done has been a reaction to her cruelty and uncaring.   The whole reason for this blog is because instead of Rachel being responsible for her actions and for the things she did she tried to make me a scapegoat and call me crazy and say I was messed up in the head and nothing could have been further from the truth.  Her lies put a burden on my heart so big I had a breakdown.  What many dont know is that 3wo months later I served on a jury(In the United States people who are not in their right mind or who are mentally ill cannot serve on a jury) I had been living my life regardless of my mother dying and for her to say the things she did and treat me the way she did well one its her loss, two it was very sad and painful, and three it was just wrong.  I am not some victim and that is why I started the Letters to Rachel blog and campaign to let her know that even if you screwed me over, lied to me, and smeared my character to your family and others I still had nothing but love for you.  The Letters to Rachel phase 3 Assault officially starts in April and it will be my biggest campaign yet not only innundating North America with stories of Rachel, Pastor Glenn, and the New Church but other countries in the world.  It will be a pamphlet and flyer distribution campaign.  Just remember Rachel this all could end with you.  I am free to tell my story you being non responsive has given me that right and the fact that you dont want peace with me so I can continue doing what I want. Isnt that what you told me? Do whatever you want with no consequences.  Yes Rachel there are consequences.  One people look at your family, they look at you, and your Church so that is the biggest point Rachel is that you keep hurting people and have no remorse or regret for anything you do.

Jesus made a sacrifice so that we may have the free will we have but still live beautiful lives. It is we who chose the love over evil.  If I wanted to Rachel I could have trashed you and plenty of your family. I could have taken my anger out swift and quickly but it has been a drawn out labor of love even in my harshest of words on this blog I am doing it because I love you and others have seen that.  I am so proud when I see other Christians post my blog on their websites and they dont see the anger and despair that you try to pin off on me.  They see  a person full of love who is happy with life but loves someone so much that even after she has done something to almost ruin him he still loves her with all his heart.  That is the love I keep trying to get you to see Rachel Myatt.  Rachel Myatt I am in love with you and Jonathan as people I love you with all my heart and you spit on that and you took all that I am for granted so for Easter I pray this.

My Heavenly Father Lord Jesus Christ,
Please find peace in the hearts of both Rachel and I to put this behind us and for us to make our friendship anew like you washed us clean with your Sacrifice.  Give us the insight, guidance, serenity, and wisdom to let cooler heads and prevail and love win over evil.  Let us not seek being seperate from each other but reflect on all the time we spent apart not loving each other and being in each others lives.   I ask that you bless Rachel's Family, the Myatts, Friesens, and Bakers.  I only seek love and peace with Rachel, Pastor Glenn, and the Church of the New Jerusalem it is in your hands Oh Lord if I shall recieve that but I ask humbly as your servant and believe you will deliver that which is of your love.  I ask that you watch over those who may be hurting and facing a similar situation and give them the strength and courage to come to you first and not to let anyone deter their faith or love that comes through you My Father.   I ask all of this through you

Amen

God's promise of love and to always be here for us is the greatest gift that any of us could have.  We all should stop and think about how blessed we are this coming Easter and the Holy Days that proceed it.  One thing I do know is that I love Rachel Myatt and that will never change I only wish that she could see that my heart is and always has been real and that her family would look beyond the anger that has seaped into my blogs at times and see the love and loyalty I have to her.  My love will not falter and I will die and keep my promise to always love her because that was a promise I made to the Lord and Rachel knows that.


Romans 3:25

God presented Christ as a sacrifice of atonement, through the shedding of his blood—to be received by faith. He did this to demonstrate his righteousness, because in his forbearance he had left the sins committed beforehand unpunished—



Ephesians 5:2
and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.


Rachel are you willing to keep this charade up? Are you willing to live a life knowing you hurt someone so bad and that person is trying to reach out to you and make peace even though you were the orginal transgressor.  I dont owe you anything Rachel Myatt.  You dont even deserve me or the friendship or love I have for you but you know who says you do? Jesus and He is and always will be the reason for me not turning away from you because if I did evil would win.

Pastor Glenn think about Jesus weeping and think about what you said to me and how you sound like the Pharasees . I put my faith in God first and because I am not of the New Church my vision and love of God is not right. How hypocritical and not of Christ that was. who are you or Rachel to discern anything like that. http://www.patheos.com/blogs/goodandtruth/2012/03/the-triumphal-entry/ You say that you are open to the salvation of all Christians and Non Christians but all you did was judge me and put my love of God down so when your words are out there and they are your words and what you have said you cant judge me for telling the truth.



God Bless All

No Apologies, No Regrets, I Am Not Afraid

"Love is our vital core. We grow warm because of its presence, and cold because of its absence, and when it is completely gone, we die."
(Heaven and Hell 14)


Dear Rachel and Readers,
This is my declaration of freedom. I am going to hit my campaign full circle. I no longer care how it affects Rachel or her family because they didnt realize how much I loved them and how much I held back waiting for them to reply.  I will regret nothing and Rachel will watch her cruel words and actions become the old adage you reap what you sow.  I came at Rachel with nothing but love but she was used to treating people bad and discarding them like a used paper towel.  Well I am like "The Cat Came Back" if you cant remember that old song. (heres a version by Fred Penner http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_cUXj3zb_UY&feature=related  as funny as that song is it is me. I am resilent and I am honest and truthful so when The New Church is dealing with the negativity they get from the press I am putting out there just remember Rachel you had every chance to bring this to an end.  Just remember Myatt family I loved you and you knew in your hearts that Rachel was wrong and the damage she had done and you knew how she treated men and that is why none of you called me on what I am doing. Pastor Glenn you knew what you said to me was wrong and you admitted you were uncaring. Note I didnt say everything you said was wrong because I am not from fault but you knew you were one sided and uncaring.  So I want you all to know that I put my faith in God and if you think I am just some blogger that doesnt do anything look at all I have already done and think about that magnified by 10.  That is where I am headed.  No if there is someone that wants to talk to me and persuade me otherwise they can contact me at the phone I had set up to make peace with Rachel the number is 817 718 7413 and you must text and state your business first or I will not answer. It is a throw away phone and I was going to throw it away when Rachel ignored my plea for peace a week and a half ago but God pointed me into the direction to keep it.  It is not registered to me and I will throw it in the trash the moment I feel someone is not sincere but I honestly have love in my heart and I am trying to prove that. I am not about getting revenge on Rachel but I want her to know that every action gets a reaction and hers was so hurtful and damaging that it is not going to go away.  I want Rachel, the Myatt Family, and the New Church to realize this following statement before I end this blog.


Everytime I reflect on my mother I think of all the love she had for Rachel and Jonathan and her family. I think of how she was altruistic and selfless in wanting me only to be happy over me wanting to be there for her in her final days.  Rachel never appreciated that and everyday she ignores me and doesnt face up to what she did she causes me another day of pain because when I think of my mother now all I think of is how Rachel treated me less than a person, disrespected my mother, and me.  I think of her arrogance, selfishness, and bigotry.  I think of how she tried to make me look crazy to justify the evil and hateful things she said especially ones pertaining to religious doctrine and the New Church. Most of all I think of how she said I didnt love God.  Even Pastor Glenn wrote back one time saying he could see how much I love God but for Rachel to say that was the worst blow. After all the love I had and still have for her it was the most hateful thing ever beside her not being able to pray with me when I needed her.  So Church of the New Jerusalem you have a story on your hands and I am no longer afraid to hold back. The choice is up to you. I am not afraid of anyone coming after me because I have truth on my side and will give anyone access to my blog, letters, phone records with Rachel and anything.   I am not here to harrass, or hurt, or put down others.  I was here to show Rachel that she was truly love, make peace with her, and reconcile. It is her loss but it will not stop me from telling my story.  Life must go on and that is the way she wants it to pretend like I never existed and none of this ever happened. Well it did. I am alive and I live with it everyday so if she can live with the harm and damage she does to her family, her church, and to me then so be it.  I am done holding back what I have to say and I have already begun to send out and share my story with more people worldwide.  It could all stop with a loving call from Rachel.  Be the change you want to see in the world. Be the loving woman I fell in love with Rachel the one who can see love and wanted to be love.  If not I reached out to you and what happens next is of your own accord.


Luke 17:4


Even if they sin against you seven times in a day and seven times come back to you saying ‘I repent,’ you must forgive them.”

I Love You Rachel Myatt why cant you accept that and realize that what I have is a blessing from God that is all I ever saw in you.


God Bless ALL

Libel, Slander, and Taking A Look In The Mirror(To the Myatt and Friesen Families)

Dear Readers,
I wanted to start this blog off with a song by the band Tilt called "Libel" there is a reason for this. First of all Cinder Morgan who is the singer has always been one of my heroines she is an entrepeneur, activist, classically trained singer, artist and an all around awesome person.  If you have any concert tshirts or tshirts at all that come from Cinder Block she is the woman behind that company.  When I was a teen and young 20s I listened to them religiously and this was one of the first videos they had.  They were always intelligent in lyrics, insightful, and eye opening.  They talked about topics from freedom, abortion, bigotry, and self realization.   There were rarely any profanities in their songs and it was more about using your mind than just a punk rock look or delivery.  I wanted to use this song to utilize and defend what I am about to say next.

I have always and will always love Rachel Myatt.  Rachel didnt understand she was punishing me for something that was out of my control.  The death of my mother.  I had so much inside that I was willing to share with her.  I shared things with her and her mother Jane that I had held in for awhile because I trusted them.  When a loved one dies especially the one that took care of you then it is a big change in life.  I put up all sorts of scenarios for Rachel like what if she died and how would Jonathan feel or what if her mother died. She didnt know how I felt and she judged me on how I was at the time and lots of other things that were neither fair, true, or kind.   Some could say the same thing about what I say on this blog but I am not here to slander or hurt Rachel, Pastor Glenn, The Myatt Family, or The New Church.  I am just presenting a mirror image of how they treat others and reflecting it back at them.  Rachel didnt want to be responsible for any of her actions so this blog was my reaction to her saying that there were no consequences for anything she did and that she could do whatever she wanted.  That is exactly what she told me.  So doesnt that give me the same right to do the same.  She said all those horrible things about me, put my family down, and hurt me.   In the end I have told her and her family how much I love her and them,  I have reached out worldwide to her, her family, and her Church. I use this blog as a conduit for my love, my hurt, my anger, and to keep me balanced because God has given me a love greater than any He has given me in this life for Rachel Myatt. She can choose to continue ignoring it or she can open her heart back up to it before it escalates even greater.  No matter what I want the Myatt Family,  The Church of The New Jerusalem, and Rachel Myatt and Pastor Coleman Glenn to know this. I stand by everything I said.  I have copies of all the letters I sent to the Church.  I have all of Rachel's correspondence with me,  I have letters,  pictures, emails between both Rachel,  The Pastors and Concerned Parties in the New Church, and I even have the card that Rachel's mother Jane and her father Howard sent me after my mother died.  That one hurts me the most because her whole family never knew how much I loved them and wanted to cherish them.  My point being in this blog if anyone tries to make this out as an attempt at slander or libel then I have all the documents and necessary things I will be glad to share.  I have said plenty of harsh things on here but I have said them with just cause because of how Rachel treated me.  If they weren't true I wouldnt say them. Rachel knows in her heart the damage and pain she has caused and she continually tries to hide from it.  It makes me sad because I love her so much and she was my best friend.  I love her and Jonathan with all my being and heart but she continues to let whatever dark forces keep us apart.  I put the disclaimer in my blog when first put it up a year and 3 months ago about how this was an attempt at Reconcilation,  Peace, and Love.  I honestly still believe in that.  I put my faith in God so I am still here.  If anyone thinks I am not living my life and waiting on Rachel they are wrong.  I go on dates,   I have beautiful lady friends,  I am living a fulfilling life.  I write songs,  I work out,  I play sports,  work 6 days a week, volunteer, and most of all I live a life of giving to others through love, support, and charity.    Rachel is the one person I love enough to do this blog and if she has taken it as a burden then she should take a second look. What person who didnt truly love her would take all this time to get her attention.  Who would single handedly go up against a whole Church and question there beliefs,  print fliers,  and do the things I have done because someone used their doctrine for hurt and ill will? Who loves this person after all she did to him and is waiting with open arms for her to come back? Not many guys would love someone as Unconditionally and Unwavering as I do you Rachel Myatt.  I kept my promise to God though and if you cant see that a good Christian man truly loves you and wants to make peace with you. If your family is holding you back from contacting me and cant see the love I have for you than I am saddened.  I want to say this to the Myatt family as the closing to my blog.

Dear Myatt Family,
I wanted you to know how much I love Rachel and why you all hurt me so much.  When I came to Dawson Creek I saw a great big family full of love. I saw children, grandchildren, and lots of people. That was all I ever wanted in my life.  I never had that growing up and it was my dream to have that since I was a 12yr old child.  I had hurt, lies, abuse, and rejection. Why would you not want the same for someone who needed love to be blessed with the same as you have. Someone who could have fell to the wayside to drugs, alcohol, gang life.  I chose love, intelligence, and God over all those things.  Do you understand why and how Rachel is hurting me dear Myatts? Do you understand Church of the New Jerusalem?  Rachel tried to make me look bad, like a crazy person, a villian and mentally inept to justify the evil she was doing. She never thought how it would affect me, you her family, her Church or even little Jonathan. It was all about her.  It was very selfish and one sided.  I gave up a lot to be with her. I put her and Jonathan above myself even when I could have just sat back and grieved and been sad I loved them so much I just wanted to be with them. I believed in Rachel and when I met her I wanted that love with only her and Jonathan.  No other woman moved me as much as she did.  Maybe Rachel was unsure of being loved the way I loved her but it was true.  I never wanted anyone but her and I was faithful to her.  I love her and Jonathan and would give my life for her.  If anyone gave Rachel cause for not being with me then I am sorry for that because you truly didnt take the time to know me.  I had the weight of the world on my back with my mothers death.  I had a father who for the first time in his life had to do alot of things he didnt know how to do.  My brother dealth with it his own way.  My mother blessed you all Myatts before she died. The one thing she told me is that she wanted me to go and love Rachel.  She didnt want me to wait around for her to die she gave me her permission to go but I didnt leave till she died. So when Rachel said all those hateful and hurtful things like I didnt enjoy doing things with her, that I was sad, damaged, and mentally ill, those were not only slanderous and libel to my character, they hurt because I did everything in my power to come see her in Jonathan.  She didnt appreciate the love I had for her at all especially at the time I  was going through.  I gave Rachel a promise ring because I loved her.  I loved her more than anyone and to be there with Jonathan and play with him and learn about him.  When I got home that was all I could talk about.  I want you to know just how much I love Rachel and Jonathan.  If I didnt truly love Rachel I would have given up long ago but I still believe in her.  Howard and Jane if you recieved the package with Rachel's name about the star I had named after her that was a symbol of how much I love your daughter.  She was the star in my sky and so was Jonathan and if you couldnt or cant see how much I love her then I dont know what kind of man you want for your daughter.  I was willing to do anything go through fire for her and Jonathan.  I still would.  I want you to know that everyday we dont talk, we dont make peace, and we arent in each others lives it kills a peace of my soul.  That is how much Rachel means to me. I would like this to have a happy ending but that is up to Rachel. I have already chosen not to give up on her. If I have to tour North America and sing of my love for her I will to let her and your whole family know how much I care for Rachel and Jonathan.  I have written an acoustic story concept album called "Letters to Rachel" in which I want to tell her how much she mean to me.  I wish you no harm Myatts,  I love Rachel with all my heart and my birthday is April 22 I will be traveling that date but what I want for Easter and for my birthday is peace with my best friend and woman I love more than anything.  I love you Rachel so if you or your family is reading this then please know that you mean a lot to me.

Love
B

GOD BLESS ALL

The Hunger Games, Betrayal, Integrity to Family, Friends, and Honesty To God(To the Church of the New Jerusalem)

Dear Readers,
If you read this blog today then please read it with your heart, mind, and open your soul to what I am telling you.  I am telling you that deep in this black hole that has become my heart.  Somewhere I do love and care for Rachel Myatt but that is waning.  In the past couple of weeks I have written many things all that are true about how I feel. Today I could have sent out things that would have embarrassed and hurt Rachel when The Dawson Creek Church had their little meet and greet but I didnt.  You know why? Because God says there is another way to get to her and in time He will reveal this to me. Notice I said to get to her and not get back at her.  Rachel if you are reading or Pastor Glenn if you are reading this is about love so what I am about to explain in the rest of the blog is crucial that you read it.



The Hunger Games

At 12:01 Friday Morning in North America they will release the film adaptation of Suzanne Collins saga about a dystopian society in which children are sacrificed as punishment and entertainment to appease a totalitarian government.  I will be among those watching because I have read The Hunger Games, Catching Fire, and Mockingjay and to me I am about to tell you how they relate to me my love for people, for Rachel, and my life in general.  

Before you read what I have to say take a look at an article by Julie Clawson : The Hunger Games : An Allegory of Christian Love http://www.huffingtonpost.com/julie-clawson/hunger-games-allegory-of-christian-love_b_1365594.html    She is the author of the book "The Hunger Games and the Gospel : Bread, Circuses, and the Kingdom of God.


I now tell you how this book relates to my life and how it is part of my love for Rachel that neither Rachel, The Myatt Family, Pastor Glenn, nor most of the New Church people who have written me have truly seen.

(Spoiler Alert)

In the book "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins a young girl of 16 named Katniss Everdeen comes from the poor coal mining District 12 in the nation of Panem(which is basically the aftermath of North America)  There were 13 districts but the Capitol supposedly destroyed the 13th district when they attempted to undermine the Government.  The Hunger Games became a punishment and a way to let the people know who was in charge so each year they chose 1 boy and 1 girl from each district to compete to the death.  The ages of the children range from 12-18.   Only 1 can be victor.  Katniss lives with her mother and her sister Primrose who are healers.  Katniss had to learn to keep the family alive because her mother went into a catatonic state when her father was killed in a coal mining accident so she had to keep food on the table and keep her family alive so that the government wouldnt slight her mother for not taking care of them and they be placed in a community home. She has to bargain, hustle, and barter things to make a living and keep fed. She met her best friend Gale while hunting oun the outskirts of the fence outside the districts which is forbidden.

Point one and this is for Rachel, her family and the New Church to really take a look at because this is my analogy to my life.
I was born to a hard working middle class family.  Both my parents were degreed and came from nothing.   They worked hard.  I had to work hard too.  I didn't have a lot of support from either parent because my mom was a religious zealot which I dont slight her on but her religion was everything to her and she didnt pay attention to me when I needed her. My father just didnt care so we have never been close and still arent to this day.  I spent a lot of time alone as a child even though I have a little brother. I was always there to protect him and take care of him because my father wasnt kind to us.  He would make bad decisions and be selfish and sometimes put us in hardship.  My mother was sick most of her life so sometimes I had to stay home and take care of her.  I managed to have 11 years of perfect attendence in School but there was one year my mother went downhill and I had to take care of her alot I was only 13.  I had to learn compassion, humility, and kindness at an early age. There were times I wouldnt have enough to eat and I would go hungry at school and sometimes I would gamble to get money to eat.  I never blamed my parents I just did what I had to as young person to just make it through the day. I got ridiculed, picked on, hatred for my skin color,  I got put down alot, never had a lot of friends, but the ones I did make are still my friends to this day.  I am loyal, honest, and I will die for those I love. Rachel was one of those people I loved that much and I never loved or wanted to love a child like I loved Jonathan so here is my analogy about the Christian love that can be shown in the Hunger Games.

Primrose was chosen as a tribute which is what the children selected are called for the 74th Hunger Games.  Instead because she loved her sister so much Katniss volunteered instead.  Loving our family before ourselves should be one of our first priorities
So let me ask you this question about Rachel in pertaining to this.  When Rachel said the things about me and my mother how do you think it made me feel?  I love what little family that I have and though I dont always agree or get along with theme to disrespect my dead mother was that a good thing for her to do? Also Rachel do you think you are loving your family by having them become a part of this between you and me.  I love your family I didnt get to know them well but I have nothing but love for them.  You hurt and put pressure and weight on them when you refuse to make peace with me. Think of Amanda or Jessica or anyone else you have hurt in treating me the way you did. Think of Pastor Glenn your Pastor you dragged him into this and he thinks I hate him but I hate no one I just hate the hypocrisy coming from a servant of the Lord.  If you love your family wouldnt it benefit you to make peace with me and reconcile? The choice if yours. Katniss shows the greatest love that is talked of in the Bible by putting her sister before herself. 
The other tribute from District 12 is Peeta Mellark. Peeta is a bakers son and he is very humble and unsure of himself.  In the book he seems to always put others before himself. He has known Katniss since he was 5 years old.  He has loved her that long.  I knew I loved Rachel from the moment I laid eyes on her and that has never changed. I will go into the love part toward the end of this blog.  There is a part in the book where Katniss and her family were truly hungry and she was having a hard time trading or finding food.  It was raining and cold and she walks past the Mellark's bakery and Peeta is being scolded by his mother for burning some bread and like an angel instead of disgarding the bread in an act of kindness he tosses the bread toward Katniss and it sustains her family for the time being.   She never forgot that act of kindness.  In this book there are many examples of putting oneself before others and the bread can be an analogy of sorts of Jesus feeding 5000 from a couple of loaves of bread and a few fish, and not just bread for life but bread for the soul, body, and mind. Matthew 14:16-22

Peeta seemingly during the games betrays Katniss(much like Rachel thinks I must hate her sometimes through this blog) but instead because he loves her so much he is actually trying to protect her as at first taking up an alliance with the Districts stronger kids.  He is actually diverting their focus away from eliminating Katniss.  I want to make a quick point.

I am not here to cause Rachel pain, discomfort, or make her life miserable I am here because I truly love her.  If she cant see after all this time that there is a man that loves her with all his heart and made so much fuss about her then she truly does not want to be loved.  I came so far, did so much, and went through so many obstacles even my mothers death for what? To be with her and Jonathan.  That is how much I love both of them.

Later on Katniss becomes allies with Rue who is about 12 years old the youngest of the tributes.  Rue saves Katniss from being attacked by a nest of hybrid wasp or bees called Tracker Jackers whose sting can be fatal. They form their alliance through this act of kindness.  Rue reminds Katniss of the innocence of her sister Primrose and so she does all that she can to help. They feed and look after each other for awhile.   Eventually Rue is killed and Katniss cant save her but is there when she dies and shows her mercy, kindness, and respect during her death.  She is later afforded the same kindness by one of the other tributes Thresh. He spares her life because of her acts of kindness towards Rue because they were both from District 11.   So in another Christlike analogy the acts of kindness eventually return to you and in Katniss case it saved her life.

Peeta professed his love for Katniss during the pre game interviews and much like him I am true in my love for Rachel. If she only knew that I am not trying to wage a war against her and the New Church what I am trying to do is go worldwide and do as much possible to let her know she is the one I would do anything for and that despite all this mess and bad feelings she is my best friend and I love her with all my heart.   Peeta was severely wounded in battle with one of the strongest tributes Cato. The Gamemakers announce that two people from the same District can win the Games together.  So Katniss searches for Peeta.  She finds him barely able to walk and she does all she can to nurse him back to health. The Hunger Games are broadcast live to everybody and people can sponsor and help out the tributes.  In watching it seems that Peeta and Katniss are falling in love and it works to their advantage because in the final days they are rewarded with gifts and lots of help. While Peeta is truly in love with Katniss it is reveal that while she does have feelings for Peeta she is doing a lot of things just to play the audience and survive so at the end of "The Hunger Games" They try to revert back to the rules of one winner so both Katniss and Peeta show the crowd poison berries and start to put them in their mouth effectively saying they would rather die together than have to kill one another.  Peeta is seemingly heartbroken because he feels that it has been all a show and that Katniss only did what she did  to survive and  not  to get close to him or love him.

Rachel that is how you made me feel.  You made me feel like I was just a show to you. You acted like you wanted to be love.  You thought it was a good idea but when presented with the fact that there was a man who was willing to do so much and come so far for you,  it was just a game to you.  I love you with all my heart Rachel Myatt and one thing about the the Hunger Games is that eventually in time Katniss has to choose between Gale her best friend and Peeta.  In the end she ends up having children with Peeta.  Effectively shadowing what Julie Clawson wrote in her "The Hunger Games and the Gospel" book chosing Team Peeta or Team Gale becomes like choosing good over evil , kindness over anger, light or dark. Gale ends up betraying her in the other books and while she doubted Peeta alot his love was true, loyal, honest and steadfast. 

Rachel that is what my love for you is.  You may think I a jerk for all the things I said and done, you may think I want revenge on you and to ruin your life.  You may think I hate your religion and hate you but it is far from that.  I love you with all my heart and I would give my life for you and Jonathan.  I have to fight Good and Evil everyday and today the good won. I am sending you a clear message about how much I love you and so I want to say I havent given up on you because God wont let me.  Rachel I love you and God is my guide. He has prevented me from doing so many evil things toward you but instead show incredible love so today Rachel I ask that you make peace with me again.  I love you with all my heart and so I want to leave you with the message I left you last year for Easter on Craigslist to let everyone know how much you mean to me. I am putting my faith in God still after all this time.

I love and miss you Rachel Myatt of Dawson Creek - m4w - 36 (United States)

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Date: 2011-04-23, 12:04PM MDT

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If anyone knows Rachel Myatt of Dawson Creek then tell her someone in the United States loves her and misses her. We had a falling out. Things went bad but I have never stopped loving her. I have so much love for her and her family and I have never stopped thinking about her and her son. I put my faith in God that someone will see this that knows her. I hope someone will let her know. She means the world to me and I am going to let the world know how much I love her. Dear Rachel I ask on this Holy Weekend of Christ Sacrifice and in the weeks and months beyond that we find our way back to each other. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you and Jonathan and though we both hurt each other I want to put that all behind us and find away to make peace with each other. I am strong, I am confident, and I do love you. My love was never a mistake, I chose you because you are everything I always wanted and needed and God gave me this love and I will not forsake it. If you read this and you believe in true love and you live in the Peace River Country and know Rachel or go or know of The Dawson Creek New Church pass this on. I love her with all my heart and will go to the ends of the earth to let her know.



God Bless All

I Love You Rachel and I Bless All Who Read My Blog

For the Church of New Jerusalem Dawson Creek, Rachel Myatt, and Pastor Coleman Glenn (Bigotry, Seperation, and not loving your fellow Man or Woman)

Dear Readers,
I wanted to leave this simple short blog to remind everyone one how much I actually love Rachel. If you have never heard this song by Depeche Mode "People are People" then please listen and look at the words. This is how my mother rest in peace raised me to be.  To love people despite their differences, flaws, and insecurites just like I loved Rachel. With all the love I had for Rachel and her family you think they would see but instead they would rather pretend like I never existed.  That hurts so much but you know what so be it.  They are the ones hiding I am not and so I will just keep on spreading my message showing love but not backing down to this war that Rachel and Pastor Glenn have created with their words and so Myatt Family, Dawson Creek New Church, and Rachel Myatt and Pastor Glenn if you think that I am just writing and trying to catch your attention you are wrong it is my readers and people who find all the fliers and newsletters about the New Church who are the ones I am trying to reach.  Grocery stores, Bus Stations, Airports where ever I can spread the word I do and I will travel a lot soon so you lost out on a friend, and ally, and a Child of God that loved you all so be scared, play like I dont exist, give me that power that you do when you stop posting things on the internet or are afraid to write or do things because you think I will find them.  The fact that I have that power over any of you is sad and its because Rachel would rather hide from her actions then face them head on.  It makes me look good though because I got through to you and sent a clear message and that was that God loves me and I am free in will just as you are and I will just keep getting more extreme and do more the more you ignore me.  I wanted peace and reconciliation but you would rather be plastered all over the place in word, picture, and doctrine and that suits me just fine. Myatts, Rachel, and Pastor Glenn.



God Bless All

For Pastor Coleman Glenn(Wisdom, Humility, Spiritual Growth and Truly Listening to Others Who Love God)

This is a harsh way for a Christian to react to a Pastor but it needs to be said and Coleman Glenn you need to hear it I read your blog for your sermon Sunday and it is a nice statement but you need to realize that you dont even follow your own words so I dedicate the words in this song from 0:27 to 0:31 just those 4 seconds are what I think of your sermon and they give me more fire to fuel what you and Rachel Myatt have started. 
(Warning this is a Battle Rap song and it is harsh and vicious and explicit but the couple of seconds in the song is all I want Coleman and others to know how far this has escalated.  It made me think about how I was and am being treated by Rachel Myatt, Coleman Glenn, and the New Church) In the streets they call this a beef song and that is when you have a beef with someone. This is not a joke you have messed with my love of God, my love of other people, and played with my heart and good will so I am now striking back. I have tried to resolve this matter with love in my life and so now it is time to try the other way because the other people involved believe evil is better than love.  Lies are better than truth, ignoring people is better than confronting,  and retalitation is better than reconciliation.  That is what the New Church people I have talked to believe in because they would rather have the evil win over love.
http://colemanglenn.wordpress.com/2012/03/19/sermon-growing-in-wisdom/


You never really stopped to listen to a word I said while I said I was listening to you and trying not only to take in the Word and learn but be proactive. You acted like I was stupid, uneducated, and unschooled in any kind of religious theology.  Rachel asked me once could I love her and accept her because she didnt go to college and I told her I loved her unconditionally and I saw the beauty in her thirst for knowledge in her love for God. When I came to you and I put things back in your face you didnt listen and I am sorry if you think being nihilistic isnt a good thing but in this case it is because you need to learn humility. I never claimed to know more than anyone all I know is what God revealed to me and you and Rachel can doubt me all you want but now I know my true path and that is to expose the Church of the New Jerusalem for their hypocrisies and bigotries.  You and Rachel Myatt were the cause for that and you had every opportunity to talk to me like a man. Why do you think I refused to talk to you on the phone Coleman? It is because your wisdom was all about the New Church you didnt see any other plain or that my love for Rachel was from God you doubted me and though you said you thought she did do things to hurt me you always took her side in your heart that was revealed to me in your words.   I dont know what exactly is in your heart but when you spoke to me it was with bias. Why would someone so full of love continue to love a person who put them down, lied to them,  dishonored and talked bad about their dead mother, and slept with them and pretended that they loved them. You know why Coleman because God is Love so your sermons are nice and have a great message but until you and your flock apply them to your own daily lives they mean nothing and I will continue to spread my message as nihilistic and unfair as it may seem to you and Rachel this is what you get when you put down other peoples love for God or mess with other peoples love period like Rachel did and you and her deserve it because all I ever did was come at you with love and concern. I asked questions, I questioned you,  I questioned her and instead of answers I got excuses, excuses of why evil was right, excuses of why I was wrong, excuses, excuses.  So I have nothing left to say but that I am true to my word and though I withheld my campaign against your Church this week there is lot more coming so just remember that I was on a spiritual journey too and I never would have come to Rachel if I didnt believe in God's love and you shunned and turned me away and that is your lesson to learn and I no longer care about your feelings or what you say except to put it out in the open.


Just remember this above all. Who was Rachel To Judge Me? With all her flaws and insecurities and imperfections what gave her the right to pass judgement on me after all the love and kindness I had shown to her. What was so holier than thou about her to treat me in such a manner and then justfy the evil in the action. You think about that Pastor Glenn and Rachel Myatt


God Bless All

Ministry - Against "The Church of The of The New Jerusalem"

I had nothing but love in my heart for the people of the Church of the New Jerusalem but through Rachel, her Church, and her Pastor I have realized how they truly think they are better than other people.  They are prime examples of people who turn people away from God so these songs are part of my peaceful worldwide protest against the Church of the New Jerusalem. No one can say I didn't reach out my hand to resolve this because I went out of my way. My friends, family, and I wrote the Church and I even told Rachel how much I loved her in this blog and her family how much I loved them in a package I sent addressed to Pastor Glenn.  I sent them donations. I prayed to make peace with them but they would rather have someone start a whole Anti New Church Movement than to pick up the phone and talk to me.  If they truly wanted to show the love of Christ they would realize the wrong that was done and resolve it with me but this is what Rachel and Pastor Glenn want.  You cant say I am harrassing you because this is my story to tell.  I loved Rachel so much that I refuse to put up the pictures of She, and I , and Jonathan because of my respect for her and her child. I put the others up so that she knows how much I do love her.   I tried to make things right Church of the New Jerusalem but all you did was make excuses so when your bigotry, and true nature as not being accepting of people of other faiths comes to fruition through this dont say I didnt come to you. So dear readers just remember Rachel and Pastor Glenn kicked me when I was down. I was looking for spiritual guidance, love, friendship and both of them kicked me and turned me into the person I am today. Rachel played with my love to be her best friend, love her in the Lord and love her child and her family. Pastor Glenn didnt want anyone to see any blessings at all unless it was through the New Church as I was told I was basically wrong and that my vision of love and what God revealed to me was wrong. Yet its ok for him to be loved by God and recieve blessings and see things but no one else can.  Am I making up things Coleman it doesnt sound like it because basically that was what all your replies sounded like to me.  So I open this blog with "Bombtrak" by Rage Against The Machine and "911 for Peace" by Anti Flag one of the best groups ever who sing about Bigotry, Labeling, Social Injustices,  The plight of the Media, The evil in Government and so on. Most of all they call out for people to love each other no matter what they believe, class, oriention, gender, or affiliation. Church of the New Jerusalem that is what kind of love I believe in. Christ love with no boundaries that can change the world. So before you label me some terrorist trying to get back at Rachel for a broken heart it was more than that it was about her upbringing in the Church because all she ever did was show me hedonism, selfishness, and bigotry.  I dont live my life that way.  If you guys and girls want to so be it but dont get mad when I lash out against it because you turned me away when I came to you for love.



Dear Readers,
Transmissions have returned.  I have decided to carry out a campaign and start a ministry against the Church of the New Jerusalem because of the bigotry of Rachel Myatt, Pastor Coleman Glenn and the New Church of Canada. It was because of the aforementioned people and organizations that I feel people need to know my story and they need to be warned against people who condone bigotry, selfishness, and hypocrisy.   I will not hold back anything and I will use everything in my arsenal to tell my story.  I am not afraid nor will I back down.  I want other Christians and people of different faiths to know how they put Swedenborg almost on a Christlike level then put down anybody else who puts Gods word Above Swedenborg.  I will tell of how I was loving, caring, and loyal to Rachel Myatt only to have her throw religious bigotry back in my face and how her Pastor Coleman Glenn and others in the New Church were uncaring and supported Rachels actions against me, my dead mother, and my family.  It seems they value hedonism, selfishness, and the seven deadly sins over actually following the first two greatest commandments of loving God and loving your neighbor.  So from this day on I dont owe anyone anything.  I reached out to Rachel, I reached out to Pastor Glenn, I reached out to the New Church Worldwide and all I got excuses so now I will spend my days preaching and teaching people of this uncaring and hateful people and I will use their own words they said to me and I will spread this to as many people I can. Just like Rachel and Pastor Glenn had the free will to be uncaring, selfish, and one sided then I have the free will and the right to tell my story. 


To Rachel and the Myatt family I loved you all so much and my family was so open with love to have you in their lives and believed in you and at my darkest hour you turned your back on me and put me down. How is that showing what you claim to believe in?


Pastor Coleman Glenn it seems that you don't want anyone to be loved or blessed unless it pertains to the New Church and you would rather hate and revenge occur than to admit that love should win over bigotry, lies, and wrong doing and I hope what I am doing will teach you about being kind as a Pastor in the future because I am not showing you any mercy in what I have to say. I gave you that oppurtunity and had nothing but love and respect for you and you threw it in my face.


This is the start of my peaceful worldwide protest.  I do not threaten violence, bodily harm, or threats of that sort. I only have a story to tell and to let others know of a religion that uses Emmanuel Swedenborgs teachings as the Word of God and has great ideas but make excuses when they dont follow their own doctrine. It seems like making your own rules up. Isnt that why the General New Church came to be because a bunch of people who couldnt agree with the other people wanted to make up their own rules. Stop being hypocrites and do as you say and dont slight me for calling you out on your lies. Anyone who would treat other Children of God with the disrespect I was shown needs to be outed.  So Viva La Revolucion!!! This is because of your actions Rachel Myatt and Coleman Glenn

I had so much love for you I even called off my campaign against your little get together on the 22nd but instead it will be something much bigger and more effective. 

God Bless all those who love God first and not man..........

Ignoring the Greater Good

                                Taste You in French and English by Melissa Auf Der Mar


Dear Rachel and Readers,
Well today is the day I let go of all my kindness and just start setting all that is bottled up inside me free. I do not apologize for anything that goes out from this day on because I did reach out to Rachel, her family, Pastor Coleman Glenn and the Church of the New Jerusalem as a whole.  They chose the doctrine of hurt and selfishness over free will. They chose being cruel to your fellow man and putting them down instead of one of love and of encouragement.  They chose to make me an enemy instead of a friend even after all the love I put forth toward them and others showed them that I love them.  So I am not sorry Rachel for what will be put out there but it is all the truth.  I loved you with all my heart.  Above I left the song I thought about most when I met Rachel.  It is by Canadian  Melissa Auf Der Maur who was in both Hole and the Smashing Pumpkins.  She is a class act person I got the chance to meet her in 2004 when she was on tour with the Cure.  She was so nice because she walked by and had just gotten her dinner I missed her at the autograph booth because the line was so long.  I said hello and she took the time out of her busy day to stop and talk to me.  She has and always will be one of my heroines.  When she was in Hole I was never worried about Courtney Love so much as I was about seeing Melissa in the band.  Meeting people you admire and having them disappoint you is the worst thing.  I loved Rachel with all my heart and I wont apologize for grieving my mother and if it disappointed Rachel then that is life. I am sorry I never asked my mom to die it was Gods time to take her and for her to treat me with such cruelty and such disdain and disrespect was uncalled for. I was willing to do anything for Rachel and Jonathan Myatt and maybe no one ever loved her as much as I did and that is why she ran but I know one thing if you love people you dont abandon them. You communicate, you talk, you dont just bail on people with no explanation then expect them to just be all happy and act like no wrong was done.  I am sorry for whatever Utopian belief of happiness and goodwill that the New Church projects but I wasnt shown any of that kindness.  I was treated less than a person by Rachel and I came to Pastor Glenn out of the deepest love to find out why a person would be so selfish and use their faith to be evil toward another.  So Rachel I gave you every chance in the book and spent all my kindness reaching out to you.  It is your loss and I dont care how what I do affects you anymore.  You had a best friend in me someone who believed in you with all his heart.  You are Ignoring the Greater Good.  Instead of end this between us and keep it private you have let it spill out into other avenues and arenas where they can hurt so many people. Since you are so ashamed of being with me and want our picture not to be seen together I am putting it on each newsletter I print so you cant hide. You would rather know that you hurt me so much that I went out telling people why they should not attend the New Church and tell our story over and over again.  You would rather hurt your family, your Church, your friends and innocent bystanders instead of make peace with me.  You see ladies and gentleman Rachel always had a choice and so did I. I truly loved her and my love wore thin and I have finally gotten over being kind and gotten to the point of being trampled and misused and retaliating. No one can slight or fault me for that because I loved with all my heart and this very selfish person played with that love so it is her own fault what happens now. 

All I ever wanted was peace with you Rachel. If you feel harrassed by this blog I am sorry but these are my thoughts.  Its my blog to let you know how deeply I hurt. If you feel disrespected by the fact that I put this in Gods hands and went to your Church then it is only because you doubted me and said I wouldnt.  I always was sure of my love for you and I will always love you and Jonathan but it seems only bigger and better things will come if I use the printed word because you dont respond to my blog.  You try to hold it back and not let others see.  So I will end this today with the promise that I will continue to care but it will be on a level different than this blog.  You will have to wait and see.  I dont care what you and Pastor Coleman do you can sue me for being a person who believed in you and had the guts to say what is on his mind.  You wont get much and you have already hurt me deeply both of you.  I come from the mindset that if you work hard enough at something then you will get good results. Rachel you kicked me when I was at my lowest and all I did was believe in you.  We all have problems and issues in life but for you to use mine as a reason to abandon me and say the things you say.  I just want you to know that all along that has been why I never stopped writing this blog.  I loved you and Jonathan with all I had and not only did you put me down you negated all the love and time we put into things.  The friendship, the romance, the love we shared as fellow human beings and that will forever hurt my soul.  I wish you and I could make peace but I know you wont.  If I withered away and died you wouldnt care and the sad fact is that you think if you wait long enough you will be free of this.  You are the one hiding not me.  So tell me "Who is Truly Free" I am happy that we in the free countries of the United States and Canada have freedom of expression but I know Rachel you have fought to have my site and pictures down.  You dont want anyone to know that someone loved you so much and you want to pretend like I never existed.  You dont get to do that.  You could have this site shut down but I will always have the pictures and the proof we were together and just remember that can never go away especially in the modern age.  I hope you never treat another human being as cruelly and disrespectful as you did me.  I know my mother forgives you because she loved you Rachel. To Pastor Coleman and the Church of the New Jerusalem Dawson Creek and Worldwide I am sorry that you instill such selfishness in people in your doctrine.  I am sorry that you would teach people to put down others who are grieving instead of loving them and encouraging them.  You see I never would have started this blog if Rachel hadn't of used Religion to put me down and then tried to make others think I was mentally unstable.  We all are a little bit crazy sometimes but I was not sick the only thing I could be accused of having was post traumatic stress and that was brought on by Rachel's deciet and actions and not by my mother passing.  Whether you believe it or not I love Rachel and her whole family and it saddens me that they never got to experience fully a man that just wanted a family with a special person.  Rachel was that person and that time has passed. I will never open myself up again like that to be lied to or played with especially with children involved.  I loved Jonathan and when I met him I fell deeper in love with being there for him.  I wanted Rachel and Jonathan as a package and I loved both of them unconditionally. With all the men in the world and children who dont have people there for them that was all I ever wanted was to be a good husband and partner to Rachel and to be there for Jonathan even though he had a father I wanted to be that person that wanted to be there for him all the time. I am sorry that New Church people or anyone would read this and not know how deeply having someone play with your desire just to love and be human would crush someone especially someone who was mourning a loved one.  So Rachel and Pastor Glenn and who ever else you can do what you want. You can sue me. Take legal action against me, and you can hurt me more,  my soul has been broken enough and I have nothing left to give.  I am nihilistic at best.  I never have given up on God people just give up on me and use and abuse me and when I try to show them that I dont put up with it they make excuses and then try to do stuff to hurt me even more.  I never meant to hurt anyone with my blog just to tell Rachel that she was the love of my life, my best friend, and I wanted peace with her.  Now I will die without knowing peace or forgiveness. 

I do want to take the time to apologize to all the other Rachel Myatts in the world. If this blog has caused you any discomfort or confusion I am truly sorry. I truly loved this Rachel Myatt and thought the world of her. I thought she was special. I hope you all have beautiful men in your life that love you and cherish you like I did this certain Rachel Myatt.  Please know I never meant you any harm it was just a name coincidence.

Rachel I asked God to forgive me for whatever trespasses I made against you and your family and Church. I asked God to give me what little strength I had left to keep loving you . It is never worth all the good God has given me to put you down and I have nothing but love for you.  I thought you were the most beautiful person in the world and  I tried to show you that and in me you saw someone ugly, messed up, and different. You didnt have to say it your eyes told me.  All I ever wanted was to love you and Jonathan and now I no longer desire to live because I refuse to let what you did and said to me make me a bitter and hateful person.  I always saw you as a blessing Rachel but you let others guide you to think I was a curse and a burden you were ashamed of me.  Love is the only way and I will continue loving you till my last breath.  I am sorry for whatever reason you cant see that. You were my best friend in the Lord and I miss you and wish that peace could have been the answer. This is how much I will always love you and Jonathan Rachel.  I wish you a blessed life sorry you didnt want that for me or forgiveness or peace. People never realize what they had until its too late.
http://iloverachelmyatt.blogspot.com/2011/06/my-last-will-and-testament-for-rachel.htm


When people dont understand things or dont take the time to learn about them they make fun and belittle them.  We have bullys, bigots, and prejudice all over the world because of people like this.  Religious and Racial Bigotry is simply based on fear that we might learn something from someone who is different in thought or color from us.  In the end we are all Gods Children and if we took the time to truly know each other instead of throw barbs and insults we would as a people truly know love.

To All Who Read this blog without judgement and were hoping peace and love won this is for you.

Numbers 6:24-25
²⁴ “The LORD bless you
and keep you;
²⁵ the LORD make his face shine on you
and be gracious to you;

Goodbye All

God Bless All

Calm Before The Storm: Does Hurt Prevail Over Reconciliation and Love(Final Attempt at Peace with Rachel)

God Makes No Mistakes


Dear Rachel and Readers,
I have never loved anyone more than I have loved Rachel Myatt and I can honestly say that. Today can either be a happy day or it can be a sad day. It will be the day I decent in either doing something that may forever change both of  our lives or it can be the day that Rachel opens her eyes to the love I have for her and the people that she stands to hurt or has hurt already including me.  I put the song up above because when I sent Rachel a letter almost 2 years ago telling her that I loved her I included a cd of songs and this was one of the first one. It was my testament that I believed in her and that God had led me to the right person.  I had many other people to choose from but at the time I saw the kindness, the love, the nurturing, and love of God in Rachel.  Who knew that she would end up being so cruel and unkind?  What I am about embark on in my campaign will not only be about Rachel it will be about Pastor Glenn and the Church of the New Jerusalem.  This is not some ultimatum or quick grab to get Rachel to contact me either.  I dont make idle threats and I am a man of my word.  This is for the disrespect I was shown by them both after my mothers death and them not understanding the nature of love and encouragement.  Instead I was met with excuses for doing evil and for free will. Just remember free will works both ways so I have the free will to do what I am doing and I am man enough to deal with my consequences.  I love Rachel so much and I havent backed down and God has led me her.  This is not to do evil or slander Rachel or Pastor Glenn or the New Church this is to let them know that you do not use our doctrine to put down others and hurt and claim to be of love and that it is of God because any unkindness or evil is not of God and you know that plain and simple. God allows evil and harm but it is not of His origin.  I love Rachel and Jonathan so much and the last thing I want to do is hurt Rachel but she needs to know that you cant treat people the way she did me and expect to just walk away from it.  I was kind, I loved her enough to believe in her, I was faithful to her, I was loyal to her, and I was willing to give up my life in the U.S. for her and Jonathan and just put my faith in God.  In a few small moments she spit on all that was good and tried to put me down and make me seem crazy to her family and others around me so she had a scapegoat for abandoning me.  She caused my family lots of hurt and pain and most of all I almost died in the process.  I would have never abandoned Rachel or treated her like an enemy or ever said anything ill about her dead mother.  I had nothing but love for the Myatt family and that is all I wanted was to love them all.  If Rachel cant see the love that was truly in my heart then she deserves to have what I am doing next happen. It is for all the other men she hurt and tried to make look bad too.  See they may have put up with her lying to them and treating them bad but I don't let people walk over me or lie and make up things about me.  Rachel needs to know that she cannot treat people like doormats and with the disrespect and disregard as she does. The same person who claimed to be a loving Christian and charitable throws friendship and love out the door like it is going out of style and I cannot ever believe now it was the other guys fault it was Rachel. Jonathan's dad probably didnt want to stick around because of your attitude Rachel and the other guy who said he could never believe in God if he was like you presented it, its not the New Church Doctrine so much it is how Rachel twist the New Church Doctrine to fit her own selfish needs and treat others bad.  This is also about Pastor Coleman Glenn I came to him as a Christian who was concerned about how Rachel was using her doctrine and the fact that he didnt even care that I had lost my mom in all this was very disheartening so.  A Pastor didnt even care that through all my pain and hurt I was trying to show love and reconciliation instead he wanted to see the free will of hurt and seperation and hate.  If he only knew the things Rachel truly said and did to me he would have thought different. What makes me sad is that someone who was sick and who as a Pastor understood pain would treat me as such. He wouldnt want blessings for someone who was hurting and who sought peace instead of retaliation and revenge so now you are part of the display Pastor Glenn.  The newsletter I will send out will have pictures of Pastor Glenn and Rachel Myatt.  I dont care if you sue me you have both already done enough damage to me where my heart is dead inside.  If you want to make peace with me and avoid what could insue in the coming months then it is simple I will leave the instructions below.


I have set up a phone for the next 20 hours so that Rachel Myatt only can call me.  It is not a phone for others to harrass me it is a phone that I bought just to make peace with her.   I can throw it away at the end of the day.  It is not registered to me.  It is a dummy phone because I love Rachel Myatt so much and I am putting it all out there so that no one can say I didnt try before I took the course of action I did. Who loves someone so much they would spend everyday almost telling them how much they miss them and that they are being severely hurt? Who goes worldwide to her Church to tell them how much he loves her and how deeply her actions hurt them? Who send money and well wishes to a Church of people who don't even understand what is in my heart and who's Pastor has disrespected him? Someone who loves his fellow humans unconditionally.  Who sets up a phone for the sole purpose of making peace with someone they love. I do.  So here it is ladies and gentleman my last attempt at making peace with Rachel. I will only respond to a phone number and message that is from Rachel.  I know her voice and all other messages or people leaving threats or unkind messages will be ignored.  The phone is not registered under my name and will be thrown away after this attempt.  If you do want to text message prayers and well wishes I will accept those from anybody as I believe that this is the day I need prayers and love more than anyday.  So Rachel here is the # 817 718 7413 I will be at work most of the day but I will check the phone to see if you called up until 12am CST which will be 10pm your time.  You cannot say I didnt reach out to you before I do anything else because I have done nothing but love you and believe in you.  It was you who abandoned me and put down my love of God, of you, and of all that was good between us.  If anything making peace with me will make my mother proud since you transgressed against her.  Don't make peace with me for me, make peace with me for yourself. Think of all the love, the time, and the good things we missed out on between each other and if you would only talk to me that all this tension, animosity, and hiding could stop.  I love you with all my heart but I know if I dont hear from you I am free to move on and do what I need to do and that you think of me as an enemy and an enemy of the New Church.  Do you want to be known as the lady that started a movement against people going to your Church? Do you want to know that your actions caused someone to speak out against your church and discourage people from attending or taking part in your religion and that every time I tell that story it is about you? That is where this is headed and not just in North America it will be a worldwide thing. That is how much you have hurt me Rachel Myatt so if you truly are the woman you say you are and have changed then start with love.  Let Love win today over evil.  I love you and I always will but I cannot continue on this path of you ignoring the goodness in my heart and for you thinking it was ok what you did with no consequences.  It was never and I will do what I must in the end.  For those who dont know how much I really loved and cared about Rachel go back and read this blog and it will tell you how much she and Jonathan meant to me http://iloverachelmyatt.blogspot.com/2012/02/importance-of-being-kind-and-truthful.html


GOD BLESS ALL

A Chance To Save You - From the Upcoming A Chapter of Fault Album "Letters To Rachel"

"A Chance to Save You"

Hush! Don't think that you'll be able to find your way
The illusion is the past it haunts you everyday
Reach the deepest recesses of your mind
The unilateral symmetry has made you blind
There is no equilibrium left, To balance out... A chance to save you.

Warning signs change with the blink of an eye
You can catch the symptoms
But the diagnosis will be in time
Sleep could be detrimental to your health
When will it be too late to ask for help

Mirror image of yourself that is not that becoming
It seems the only chance of survival is to keep running
Sands in the hourglass... Minutes on the face of a clock
The hardest battle is the one between the wall and the rock

Nightmares are actually just your memories
The ones that you don't process so they start to increase
Like a rush of adrenaline
They will take you up before they tear you back down

Broken Synapses are highways of the your clouded thoughts
Of how you were sold and once again bought
Into thinking you could escape the harm that has been afforded to you as intellect slowly is lost

Consciousness you will never regain
They increase the dosage and you feel no pain
No remorse in the decisions you've made
One last quiet refrain

.......A Chance To Save You 

Selfishness and Evil are about to win over Love, Forgiveness, and Reconciliation

"You must give up the life you planned in order to have the life that is waiting for you." Joseph Campbell


Dear Rachel and Readers,
I am two days away from my final attempt at trying to make peace and reconcilation not only with Rachel but the Church of The New Jerusalem. After Wed then I will just give up and give into being their enemy like they want.  Rachel never did see the good in my love, my friendship, loyalty and how much I loved her and Jonathan. What she and Pastor Glenn did and said have forever changed my life and after Wed if I dont get any kind response from Rachel then what happens after that in my campaign is on her. I gave love, peace, and forgiveness a year and a half chance and I got a lot of excuses about free will and just plain excuses from members of the New Church.  Rachel and Pastor Glenn have killed my love and so what I have to say about them is true and it will be distributed to many places and I wont feel any regret, remorse, or think twice about it.  You people in the New Church claim that following God's commandment of love others is the second most important thing next to loving God but I have been shown lies, deciept, disrespect, and just plain arrogance.  My commentary on Pastor Glenn in my newsletter is the truth they are his words and they are my reflections of what Swedenborg says and what God says in the Bible. Rachel doesnt realize that every thing I do is a direct result of the unkindness, lies, and betrayal that she showed me. It is because she teased me, pretended to want to have a relationship with me, put down my love of God and most of all said anything ill about me or my dead mother. I was grieving and how dare she ever say I was mentally ill. I loved Rachel with all my heart and I have never went through so much to show someone I cared about her as I did for her and her son. So any consequences or discomfort she gets she deserves it.   She is one of the most selfish people I know because if she loved me or the others around her like her family and her Church then making peace with me would not be that hard but she would rather others suffer and be part of something she created. Sue me Rachel and Pastor Glenn or what ever I dont care after what you did there is nothing left I am so nihilistic and done with caring about people who make up excuses to lie and be evil it doesnt matter any more.  So I leave you all with that thought today on being selfish and letting evil win because I am true to my word and this is not some game it is reality and after Wed I let go of trying to make peace and I just tell everyone how it is plain and simple from British Columbia to Pennsylvania I will not hold back. 


You say you believe in God's promise of love and of Good but you are not showing it Pastor Glenn or Rachel so know that it was your actions toward me that led to what I am doing and I am not afraid to say what needs to be said nor to do what needs to be done in spreading this.
God Bless All