11:59 For All The Judgemental Bigots in the New Church Its almost Midnight and Jesus is Coming

The Week Before Christmas, Bigots in the Church of the New Jerusalem beware. You will be exposed.  Black, White, Yellow, Brown, American, Canadian, Indian, African, Chinese or whatever part of the world God scattered your people to after the Tower of Babel we are all one love and all one people.  I am a peaceful warrior and I am making this message about the New Church readily available.  2013 since Rachel, the Myatts, and Pastor Glenn couldnt step up then its on.............

Campaign Band Revealed: Keeping True to My Promise to Promote the Story of the New Church, Rachel, and the Myatts

 

So you all waited patiently to see which location and band I was going to spread my message about the New Church next.  Well this one will suprise you and let those Canadians know that I am not playing.

Dear Rachel, Readers, and New Church,
I just want you to know I am a man of my word and I am out in the streets with my heart and soul telling of my dealings with Rachel and the New Church.  If you thought I would just sit back and this was some kind of joke then you are messed up.  Rachel thought she could just skate through all her lies.  Pastor Glenn thought that just because he is getting married I would cool down on my targeting his hypocrisy.   No buddy I am just waiting till you least expect it to hit you and yours like an atom bomb!!!!!   I am real.  Pastor Coleman Glenn talks about "Fear of God" in the Dawson Creek New Church Newsletter this month. http://www.newchurch.ca/uploads/Dawson_Newsletter_December_2012.pdf

So you see in your own words Pastor Glenn I put my faith in God.  God lifted me up and this blog and this 2 year campaign of love, true love for Rachel, Jonathan, and the Myatts is still going strong because I do not look to you, to Swedenborg, or any earthly entity I look to Jesus Christ, To Jehovah, To The God of the Heavens,  The One Most High to fight my battles.  If you, Rachel, the Myatts, and the New Church were so full of love you would have taken me up on the offer of peace.  Rachel could have been the best of friends with me again but she chooses the evil and the seperation that not only you Pastor Glenn but people in her family instilled in her because they were scared to actually learn and love about another person.  I have been judged my whole life but you talk about being in a dark cloud, a dark place, a hole.  Rachel and the Myatts left me in a caveat of despair after my mother died because I loved all of them so much and only wanted to show that.  So what did I do. I picked up my boot straps.  I prayed, and God directed me to just write and believe.  Rachel if you are reading this.  Pastor Glenn if you are reading this.  Anyone from the New Church reading this if you believe in love I want you to know one thing.  Any person who truly wants to know how much I love my ex and her little boy.  Here is the shirt I wore to the concert last night to let people know when I was handing them the pamphlet about the New Church that I did love her.

Rachel herself took me to look for this shirt when I was there as I was so proud to be with her and Jonathan and I wanted everyone to know.  They were the love of my life.  Notice how I never leave Jonathan out of the equation.  I loved them both and wanted a family with them not just her and how I always talk about loving her family. I havent worn it since the day she broke my heart and abandoned me in September 9th 2010.  It still had tears on it, it smelled like the park where I was going to lay down and die.  It smelled like the cemetary when I drove to see my mom and say goodbye.  So much happened that day and Rachel only thought about herself.  She never thought about how much struggle I went through losing a parent and how the love I had for her and Jonathan was not only a blessing it was my destiny.  See this doesnt just extend to Rachel it extends to anyone in the Myatt or Friesen family who had doubts about me.  As fragile and broken as I was at the time I was sure and I am to this day that Rachel and Jonathan were all I wanted and nothing can take that away.  My heart is still waiting.  You want to do something beautiful for Christmas then as Pastor Glenn aludes to Christ saying "Dont Be Afraid" pick up the phone Rachel or send a Christmas Card or do what could be the first step in healing this pain.  Relationships can come and go but Rachel what you and I had was real friendship and maybe no one had ever loved you that much and you ran scared because I was serious I do not know but I do love you and Jonathan with all my heart and I will not back down or waiver in that aspect.

Rachel I love you so much I just wish this all would end but because of your nature of being I don't know if you will ever change.  My hope is that someday soon and we can end this but if not I will keep spreading my love, I will keep questioning the validity of the New Church teachings,  and I will never stop caring about you and Jonathan.  If that is not good enough for you Rachel Myatt then you do not and will never know what true friendship is and that saddened me because we had one of the most beautiful ones I know inside and out.

Finally even though this video is set to private on youtube(because the sound sucks) I want you all to have proof from my camera that I am really at these destinations not just enjoying great music but I am really out in the field spreading this message and that is a promise. This is the "Priest of the Temples of Syrinx from Rush's classic "2112" album.  God Bless All.

Campaign Destination: Canadian And Loud

My Campaign Destination this week will be at place that will be holding one of Canada's greatest Natural Resources.  All will be revealed this Wed at 5:30pm Central Time. ??????????????????????????????

Church of The New Jerusalem will Never Progress with Racist and W.A.S.P pride

 

Why does the Church of the New Jerusalem not appeal to people of color?
One because the people who are currently in the Church are so caught up in their White Anglo Saxon Traditions that they seem not to want anyone else to be in their little club.  What I experienced in Northern Canada I might as well just put a white sheet and hood on those people and burned myself on the cross.  See some people will say what needs to be said and that is what The Bishops or other people in the Church are afraid to confront.  None of them have the backbone to face me about saying such because they know its true.  Sure they will throw a black person in one of their pictures on their website to make themselves look multicultural but really they do not want people of different ethnicities or cultural backgrounds dirtying their waters.  I am calling out a Boycott of people of all colors to not indulge this Church because of bigotry and racist and if anyone wants to dispute that or thinks that I am just here to slander I will give you first hand proof of their bigotry stemming from Rachel Myatt, to The Dawson Creek New Church in British Columbia and certain Pastors and Reverends around the world.  Church of the New Jerusalem my work has just begun.  Rachel opened up a box that will not be closed and I hope her hatred, bigotry, and superficiality was worth witnessing reproach and shame on the Church worldwide.

This song goes out to anyone in the Church of The New Jerusalem who puts bigotry, self pride, and color of skin above loving your fellow brother or sister.  This goes out to the Bigots in Bryn Athn, PA and To the Bigots in Dawson Creek, British Columbia, Canada.  This goes out to Bigots Worldwide. This week my campaign will focus on letting the people of color black, yellow, red, brown know about the evils of The Church of the New Jerusalem and not only of the Hedonistic Nature but why people should steer clear of this Religious cesspool of hate and division.  Nobody took me seriously in Bryn Athyn or Toronto but now its time you listen because I am not backing down Racist!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

Unite in the Lord against Bigotry, Hatred, and Separation.  Love your Neighbor and Follow God's Divine Word not False Prophets of Flesh, Science, and Demonology.

Revenge of The Lesser Evil : Episode VII

Dear Readers,
I have decided to hit Rachel and the Myatt family with the lesser evil.  They are about to be assaulted from all sides with truths that Rachel chose not to see that will affect the New Church and also Pastor Coleman Glenn and his soon to be wife.  I learned that being kind and loving your fellow man is less important than rhetoric  doctrine lesson from them so I am only practicing what they think is Holy and Godly and it seems like you dont think for yourself but are part of a collective like the Borg on Star Trek.   Anyway I reached out to the Pastor and I reached out to Rachel Myatt.  I thought about sending out a worldwide campaign about Pastor Glenn's behavior and how he should be removed from the laity.  Its ok just remember Rachel,  Myatts, Pastor Glenn when you step on someone full of love and who needs help and you reject that hand that person remembers that so now you will have to reap what you sow. I remember how you laughed at my pain Rachel. I remember how you made excuses Pastor Glenn for my love for Rachel but all the while you carried on the same kind of relationship so its time to expose you for the frauds you all are.  I tried to be the greater good now its time for the lesser evil and it doesnt matter who gets hurt in the process or anything as long as I get revenge or my needs are taken care of.  Rachel Myatt taught me that well. She is so sick she doesnt even care about hurting her son.  So I know how the Lesser Evil is neither a twisting of Good as Pastor Glenn would put it evil no matter how you look at it and it seems that is what they like thrown back at them.

Dawson Creek New Church Meeting in British Columbia : November 23rd

Pastor Glenn and Rachel Myatt just might want to discuss at the meeting about the December Issue of the Good and Truth Gazette that I will be distributing.  In it will talk about how two years ago I believed in Rachel and how she and her families actions not only truamtized and surprized me but opened my eyes to the selfishness and evil in New Church Theology.  Pastor Glenn might want to think about who I am going to discuss the hypocrisy in his upcoming wedding and how me having a similar relationship with Rachel and all the excuses and rhetoric that he threw at me and how that will translate across the board to the kind of Spiritual leader he is.  I dont make threats I just know that I have to get this information out there like I said I would.  If you are opposed to it then here I am but so far no one has stepped up so I will continue using your emails and your own blogs as truths to prove my point.  I had nothing but love and respect for the New Church, Rachel Myatt,  The Myatt Family, and Pastor Glenn but they have been silent so I am going to be loud in this aspect because I want the Myatts especially to know how what Rachel did and how you all reacted to me made Christmas an even more hurtful time for me. It seems like neither one of them care about the consequences or the free will of what they say.  They love the act of being selfish and not caring what happens because of what they do.  That is what I learned from the New Church so when the Myatt family or Pastor Glenn try to get mad with me spreading the truth I will just say I was just using the freedom of my free will to spread the truth about them.  They could think about how their evils affect their family, their fiancee, their child, their Church but in the end it was all about them.  Then they pretend to want blessings for others while I was cursed, put down, lied to and told I deserved what happened to me when all I had was a heart full of love.  Remember Pastor Glenn all the Reasons you tried to make up why Rachel had the right to treat me the way she did.  Well I have a right to treat you both the same way you treated me because you dont want to respond to peace, love, and reconciliation.   Your loss and your fault...............


Remember you crucified me, judged me, put all these religious ultimatums on whether Rachel and I could be together.  I wasnt the one who was bigoted, close minded, or hateful.  You can sue me, talk bad about me like you decided to anyway, or laugh and scoff at my pain, my mothers death, or the lies that Rachel told me.  In the end I asked to make peace with you.  Threw out a white dove worldwide and all over the place.  You were the one(Rachel who started with the Libel and slander) and I kept record of it through phone and messenger.  All I ever did was love you and you family and its time to put an end to this so I can rest by just exposing you, your family, and Church.

Black Friday : The Only Gift I Would Wait In Line For

Dear Readers,
I want you to take a look at the clip from the 1982 movie Blade Runner based on Phillip K. Dick's short story "Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?"  In The Story and in Blade Runner there were renegade androids called Replicants.  The goverment called on Blade Runner such as Harrison Ford's Character Rick Deckard to retire them.  This character is saying his final words before he shuts off as the Replicants have a life span and expiration of 3-6 years. I want to convey in this short blog the beauty of love and human interaction.  I want you to stop and think about what this android is saying about him losing all those moments that he enjoyed by shutting off.  We die but most of us believe our consciousness is stored somewhere else. Our thoughts, experiences, loves, and etc. are not forgotten.   They are precious and make us who we are.


While other people are lining up to get some kind of material thing for someone around Christmas time.  I am thinking about the only present I have wanted for the past 2 now 3rd Christmas and that is Reconciliation and Peace between Rachel Myatt and I.  Christ love is the most selfless and unselfish thing we can share.  Rachel, her family, and her Church have a chance to show through this conflict with me the good in their faith and Rachel has a chance to redeem herself to the evil she said and inflicted toward me and my family.  My arms have always been open to her and I forgive her but now more than ever Rachel,  Myatt  Family, and Church of the New Jerusalem you have the chance to share a gift not only with me but with the world in showing that Reconcilation, love, and friendship can win over evil at any cost.  I love you Rachel Myatt and the only gift I want is for us to put this behind us and see how beautiful we are to each other and stop wasting time.


I would wait in line forever to make peace with you Rachel Myatt because I love you and Jonathan.

Give The Gift of Prayer if you are reading this tonight pray for Rachel and I.  If you have unresoloved issues with people you love in your life then make peace with them.  Life is too short and my above example was to explain to people just how precious life and time is.  I welcome all your prayers, well wishes, and kindness and I wish you prayers, Good Will, and resolve in the conflicts in your life.


God Bless All

Thanksgiving Prayer and Reflection. For Rachel, The Myatts, Friesens, and Bakers

Dear Readers,
I do not really have a family now. I have a sick father and my little brother so today I going to feed the homeless on Thanksgiving Day here in the U.S.   Rachel never knew how much I loved her and Jonathan and how much having a family of my own meant to me.  I didn't want that family with just any woman though it was with her.  My heart has been devestated for the past couple of years and so in the coming weeks I am no longer holding back against what I have to say towards Rachel and the Myatt family.   God did not put me on this earth to be miserable and He does want me to be happy and if it brings the Myatt Family, Friesen, and Baker Family some discomfort than they can only look to Rachel because she never wanted to be responsible for anything she said or did.  She wanted to hide, lie, and pretend that I don't exist.  Just remember I am here and I am a real person and I had so much love for you and you son and you disrespected that love.
IN Retrospective here is an older blog that maybe you will read and think about why this blog has been kept and blessed by the Lord's Hand. 
http://iloverachelmyatt.blogspot.com/2011/10/person-who-i-thought-loved-me-and.html

All I ever did was believe in you Rachel so all those New Church Naysayers,  Rachel broke a man who wanted a family with her,  She broke a man who was willing to love her from a far and be faithful to her.  She broke a man who loved her son, her family, and actually wanted to worship with her and it is for that fact during Christmas this year when I am passing out my newsletter about The Church of the New Jerusalem, The Myatt Family, and Christmas Hypocrisy.  Rachel Myatt you were never thankful for the best friend and blessing that was put in front of you. You used my love for your own selfish reasons and then put me down and tried to make me less of a man when you looked around as saw that someone really loved you. I really truly cared.  Before I end this This is from the New Church Page about Relationships so Rachel and her family may want to examine this before they read my prayer below. 
http://www.newchurch.org/about/news/gratitude-video-2012.html



Thanksgiving Prayer,
Thank you Heavenly Father for all the blessings You have given us.  I ask that You help those less fortunate today and that we start trying to care for them more everyday than selfishly around holiday time.  I ask that You give strength and love to those who have been affected by the violence in the Middle East and the Natural Disasters that have affected the East Coast in the U.S. For those that are hurting each night may You be their guiding light and lift them and exault them with Your Mercy, Love, Kindness, and Long Suffering.  I ask that you end this between Rachel and I and that the beautiful friendship we had be restored.  I ask you let Rachel look into her own heart and see how much she is loved by You so that she may realize that the love You have instilled in my heart for Herself, Jonathan, and Her Family.  I love them all.  Thank you Lord for all that you have given us and help us to walk in the way of the light.  Christ , Our Lord you are everything,  all Good Comes from you and I know if I ask for Love you will return it to me.  I love Rachel Myatt through You Lord and I will never stop because of my Promise through You Jesus.  May All this come to pass in Your Great Name.

Amen
Rachel Myatt not a day goes by when I dont miss you or think about you and Jonathan.  I just pray, smile at our pictures, read the letters, and emails we wrote each other.  I am truly in love with you and care for you and Jonathan with all my heart.  I wish you would come back.  God Bless!


If I had the chance to spend my life with you the song "Free" by Faith Hill is what I wanted played at our wedding because when I was with you and Jonathan it was the first time my heart felt truly free to love................

When You Waste Your Chance at True Love: To Rachel(Beauty and the Beast)

To Rachel Myatt, The Myatt, Friesen, and Baker Families,

This is what I would love to convey to you all and especially Rachel.  The words that Belle says to Rumplestilskin are some of the most powerful words about love I have ever heard and I hope that today they ring loud and clear among the Myatt clan.  Rachel lost out on a great man.  I never cared what she looked like, the color of her skin, if she had a child, if she was ugly, pretty, her teeth, or anything superficial like that.  I loved her for who she was.  She was such a coward and so worried about what others in the family would think because I was different that she abandoned me.  Her loss.  I can forgive but I will never forget how she treated me and to this day I know it affects you all.  You have to hide your prescence on the internet and in New Church letters and functions.  Everyday people read this blog and see how heartless and cowardly Rachel was and is all around the world because they see a man that loves her so much and not only her but her child.  They see a selfish woman who complained about no one wanting to be with her because of her faith and that man came along ready to give her a chance in everything and not only did she squander that chance but she was cruel, blasphemous, and hateful in doing so.  I hope that Rachel or whoever from the Myatt family reads this today understands that what is happening is supposed to happened.  If Rachel truly were brave and had an ounce of courage in her body she would pick up the phone and make peace with me.  She isn't though everything is about her so why would I even believe otherwise.  I believed that Rachel could love me, I believed in her and Jonathan.  I never let religion, color of my skin, doctrine, creed, nationality stop me from loving Rachel.  I have reached out and now I am no longer going to reach out for peace.  I am letting that dream die and just going to tell my story and by her actions she will realize the affect it has on her family,  The Church of the New Jerusalem, and the continuing cowardice and hiding from me because she knows by me she was truly loved.  Those cruel things you said toward myself and my mother, the insults, the evil were because you were to afraid to stand up to the family member or members who didnt like me.  You didnt keep your promise.  You loved me because you always hesitated toward the end when I asked you about who didn't like me but instead of be happy and be loved you had to insult a grieving person who through all his trials and tribulations at the time loved you enough to put you and Jonathan above that.  I am sorry that you dont realize the seriousness of what has been said here in the almost last 2 years.  All I have been trying to say everyday is that I love you and I am still truly in love with you and want you and Jonathan in my life but you will never see the light and in that I am Beauty and you are the Beast....................

Por Avion Express : To Rachel Myatt and Pastor Coleman Glenn

Revelation 5.1 - Simple and to the point.  Soon the circle and prophecy will complete itself.

What Does Revenge Sound Like? : Food For Thought

 

Dear Readers,
I was pondering all the love I have had for Rachel and her family at this point in the game and this song came on my Ipod Touch when I was driving last night.  It was from Texas Rapper, Chamillionaires - 2005 album "The Sound of Revenge" and this is the intro and title track.  Unbeknownst to some he and popular Rapper at the time Paul Wall were childhood best friends and had just had a falling out so this album was personal.  The sound of "Revenge" that Chamillionaire was talking about on here was about letting people talk bad about you, take shots, treat you bad, and still get Revenge by being sucessful.  He later won a Grammy for a song off this album called "Ridin"(Dirty) and the funny thing is the song was about how Police profile young black and hispanic men because we drive nice cars and even if we are doing what we are supposed to according to the law.  It happened to me in city called Pantego a suburb of my Native Arlington.  Rachel and her family have no idea of the Racism, hate, and disrespect I get just because the color my skin but all I have ever wanted was to be loved and respected.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nf4DhXy9oU  What happened when he won the Grammy was an example of God working toward reconciliation. Paul Wall actually went up and hugged his former friend turned rival at the Grammy's effectively putting a wedge in the conflict they were having opening the door to their friendship to renew itself. Here is the story their friendship, downfall, and rebirth. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JloUST40D-M I want this with Rachel but she cannot see the power of God working within me.  I could have trashed her,  I could have done some things to destroy her.  If I have hurt her by my actions it has never been like that in my mind.  This is about how I would do anything to love her and Jonathan.  I believe in her and I believe her family will finally come around and see the power of love that resides in my heart.  It makes me sad that Rachel and her family claim to be part of The Church of the New Jerusalem and talk about being different and practicing Regeneration yet they make fun of other people who are different then them and are hypocritical of the way they claim to live.   I loved how Chamillionaire was classy and he kept his negativity on the records.  I have tried to end this even asking to sit in a room with Pastor Glenn, Rachel, and even her family.  I even said I would come to Bryn Athyn and make peace with she and her family.  Down here in the Southern U.S. I have encountered Racism, Immense Hatred,  I have even been part of a hate crime but through all that I kept loving and believing in people.  I am sorry that Rachel,  the Myatt Family, and The Church of the New Jerusalem cannot see the beauty of what l am doing.  I know others have and have commended me on it.  I have always tried to do what was right and I love Rachel and Jonathan with all my heart.  Another song came on my Ipod Touch immediately after that and it was a song by a Native of Rachel's Canada - Sarah McLachlan ,  It was this song "Fallen" actually that inspired me to write this blog.  I will put up the video and leave you with your thoughts, perceptions, and interpretations of the love I have for Rachel and her family but take a listen to the words and see how I can contrast the love and the act of Revenge at the same time.






To Me This song Represents that I could hurt Rachel, I could smear her, I could demean her and I could embarrass myself by going down to the level she went to when mistreating me and my love for her.  Fact is I love her, Jonathan, and her family very much and much like Chamillionare and Paul Wall I see her as family.  Even if she doesnt want to react and she wants to hide and be silent that is her choice. I am going to continue to let the world know how much I love you Rachel Myatt.  You can change your name, get another boyfriend, get married, do whatever but you cant change the moment in time where you destroyed my heart, my love, and my trust.  God has made me as stronger,  well versed, and more accountable person.  This blog is because I love you Rachel Myatt and I will continue to put out my blog and my newsletter to let you,  The Myatt Family, the Church of the New Jerusalem and other Religions know of that love.  If you cant handle the exposure or if you are uncomfortable with this story being told then why not just come to me or talk to me.  Rachel you can end this if you dont like it but it has to be on your terms.  I have chosen my terms and its to love you worldwide and to tell you, your family, and your Church about how you affected me.

Diversity is a big part of my life. I see the correlation between many things both good and bad in the smallest things to the largest things.  These two songs were randomly played back to back on Shuffle on my Ipod Touch but I was inspired to write a blog about the woman who I have never stopped loving because I saw the balance between Revenge as in seeking to cause harm and Revenge in just living and not forgetting but moving on being successful.  I seek not to maim, hurt, or demean Rachel but Reconnect, Reconcile, and to love her again.



My Heavenly Father,
Bless Rachel, Jonathan, her family,  Pastor Glenn, and all those who read this blog with an open mind and see the love.  For all those who have seen the newsletter and to those who wish me well in Reconcilation and true love with Rachel Myatt. May Christ extend to you blessings 10 fold.  All that is in God is Good

Amen

Romans 12:18-20
¹⁸ If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ¹⁹ Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”^[a] says the Lord.
²⁰ On the contrary:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.
In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.”


I want to leave you with one last point.  Rachel, Her Family, Pastor Glenn , and The Church of The New Jerusalem are the ones who ignore my pleas for peace love and reconciliation therefore in essence the love I have for all of them are the coals that they pretend that aren't there but they are effectively showing others a false witness to the loving way they claim to live.

Love : The Difference Between Lust, Infatuation, and Being Desperate(A Love Letter To Rachel Myatt)

Dear Rachel,

Before I start my day I just wanted to let you know how much I still care and I love you.  At my age I was and never will be obsessesed, lust, or be infatuated with you.  Those are things for young adults in their early 20s.  I was on some serious grown man lets have a relationship.  Truth is I love you and Jonathan more than anything in the world.  If I have to send out this Christmas campaign worldwide to let you know that you are loved then I will.  I know you and your family would prefer that I not but you make that choice everyday you choose not to make peace with me and contact me.  I have always been saddened by the way things happened because you had little to no regard what I was going through and all you thought about was yourself.  You tried to make me look sick and mentally unstable but grieving is something totally different.  I would have never held the judgment against you, that you put on my mental and physical state had one of your parents died.  I would have supported and gave you as much of myself as possible.  You and Jonathan are loved beyond compare by Jesus Christ and so he sent me a mortal man who had been battered, beaten, and bruised and almost given up on love to love you.  I will continue to do whatever I have to in order to let you know how muc hI love you.  I care for you and always will.  May God look over your day, bless you and your family, and one day I hope you will realize how real I am and that there is one man who will always truly love you that is not your father, brother, or son.  I Byron, love you Rachel and I will continue to love you with all my heart.  I miss you and Jonathan so much and if the only way to let you know that is to keep spreading the word so be it.

Breaking Dawn - Loving Rachel - Forever

Tonight in North America,  Breaking Dawn - Part 2 the end of the story will be released.  I read all four books and suplementals and Rachel even read those books when she was with me.  She never understood why I as a man loved them but it was because of what they stood for in the end love of family.  She was the one I wanted to share this moment with in my life. I wanted to see this movie with her.   I will, have, and always will love you Rachel Myatt forever.  You and Jonathan were the ones I wanted to be my family.  You were the one who finally made me believe love was true, then in a moment you took that away.  So I am going to the theater now to watch both Breaking Dawn Part 1 & 2. Alone(because of you I no longer trust anyone with my heart and have become a loner) Concurrently.  There will probably be tears in my eyes at about midnight when the second movie ends because when the movie ends Bella has the family she wanted and that was all I ever wanted with you and Jonathan.  I saw the beauty in all your flaws, strengths,  your beauty, and most of all Rachel Myatt.  I loved you and I will love you Forever.......

True Love :Unconditional and Forgiving(for the Myatt Family) : Revelation #3

Dear Readers,
In this final scene from the 1968 film adaptation of Carson McCullers "The Heart  is A Lonely Hunter" characters Mick Kelly and Dr. Copeland visit deaf, mute,  John Singer's final resting place.  The only thing Mr. Singer wanted was to be loved. There was no internet, no machinery a deaf mute could express himself with during the time this book was written and that was the beauty of this book.  Mr. Singer despite his disability tried to help everyone with there problems even though he was sad and lonely and no one paid attention to him.  In the end he committed suicide because when he needed a friend, when he needed Mic and the others no one had time for him.

To The Myatt Family,
You may be thinking why Byron wont you let this die.  One because I love Rachel and Jonathan and I love all of you.  Do you not understand that is why I came to Canada it was not just for Rachel but it was for all of you.  In the story above Dr. Copeland's character hated white people but when he met Mr. Singer who was able to help black characters in the story despite his disability he changed his view on white people.  That is why he visits the grave almost everyday because he learned a lesson from Mr. Singer.   When Mr. Singer first showed up at the Kelly's household Mick made fun of him calling him a dummy, and cripple, and stupid.  Much like Rachel making fun of me but the hurtful thing about Rachel is that she claimed to be there for me and want to be with me so my soul was broken because I believed in Rachel.  Instead of get discouraged by Mick's insults Mr. Singer made an effort to find out the things she liked and he went and bought her a music album she loved.  That act of friendship made her realize what a beautiful person that Mr. Singer was. 
Mr. Singer loved altruistically and never got anything back all he wanted was to be loved.  If you dont think there are tears welled up in my eyes everyday for Rachel and Jonathan well they are because I love She and Him that much.  She may have thought she could just abandon me and that life would go back to normal but I was truly in love with her and when I needed a friend most either she or someone in the family couldnt accept the pain I was in from losing my mother.  I came to Dawson Creek at the time to love and escape the hurt and sorrow that besieged my family.  I had my mothers blessing, my families blessing, and most of all I thought that I would be blessed by loving Rachel and the Myatts.  To this day they do not understand why I write this blog or why would tell them I love them even after they hurt me and even after I have called them out so many times.
Unconditional and true love.  Plain and Simple.
God's love can change the world and so I end this blog today with this.

Our Father In The Heavens,
Please let Rachel and her family know I love them and the only thing I want is peace with them.  I want Rachel to know she can pick up the phone and resolve this with me and I love her and Jonathan just as much as the day I left her arms and her heart.  To all the other Myatts and Friesens you would honor my mothers memory and her love for you because you helped set her free. She believed she was free to go be with God because she believed with Rachel and her family I would be in loving hands.  I saw the potential and love in this too but for some reason I was judged and ridiculed.   Father forgive me for any sins or transgressions I have made against the Myatts and let them know my current campaign is one to show them how much Rachel means to me.  Let them have the strength to come to me and make peace with me.  No more hiding,  no hurt,  just love and a true resolve.  I put all my trust in you today O' Lord,  Christ, Jehovah,  My Father.  Thank You for all that You do for us,  Your Love, Our Daily Bread, and may all this come to be through faith in you.

AMEN

Beacon of Light : The Greatest Love in the World Revelation #2

The Greatest Man to ever walk this earth gave us the ability to love each other.  His name was Jesus Christ. Our Lord, Our Father, Our Savior.  I could come on here and say cruel things about Rachel Myatt today but the fact is I love Rachel Myatt with all my heart and her son Jonathan.  I will just let the stories of my tears,  the judgment she and her family passed on me, and all the love I had for them speak for themselves.   You see Rachel and Myatt family.  When people read my stories they are touched by the hope and love that I put my faith in Christ and not in the ramblings of the flesh or some man.  I look to Christ for everything even though we are all imperfect and selfish to an extent.   I know what I am doing is right.  I am sorry Myatt family and Rachel if it looks like I am putting you on display but I am.  God is putting you on display to look inwards to the blessings you have and to the blessing it was to have me put into your life.  I saw each and everyone of you as a blessing I wanted you to be my mothers, my sisters, my brothers, aunts, uncles, whatever it may have been but one thing you were all to me because of my love for Rachel was loved and I still love you all even if Rachel continues to hide from me.  I was raised around a bunch of hate, racism, fear, and cowardice so if you dont understand why I am so strong, resillient, and never back down.  Christ gave me that love as a gift and I love Rachel and Jonathan with every being and fiber.  I am asking you Myatt family to get together look at what I am saying.  Look Rachel in the eye and let her know how truly loved she is.  I can't change how any of you feel about me.  I just know what I feel in my heart and that is to love Rachel and Jonathan.  I follow Christ example of unconditional love and reconcilation.  For every person that reads my blog  or my newsletters dear Myatts and reads the how much I love you it is a beacon of light and hope.  Rachel's actions and how she and the family react from this moment on is a reflection on Rachel,  The Dawson Creek New Church, The Myatt,  Friesen, and Baker Families, and the Church of the New Jerusalem and other Swedenborgian affiliates.  Rachel you and your family are being witnesses for your faith and with my truth and the way you treated me out for others to see how deeply you really value your conviction and faith.  My one wish for Christmas is Peace and Reunion with Rachel.  Rachel I love you and Jonathan now today and always and if you cant see the blessing in a man that never gave up in you even when abandoned me.......................

All Shall Be Revealed : Revelation #1

Rachel and her family thought I was joking and so did the Church of the New Jerusalem but I have been serious all along.  Today will be the first part of my "Christmas Chronicles" released in different parts of the world.  "How The Church of the New Jerusalem and the Myatt Family made me realize there is no Christmas"  I remember Rachel telling me how great Christmas was going to be with her and her family then her turning her back on me and I remember sitting Christmas morning wanting to die because of her betrayal and still hurting from my mom's passing.  It was then that God' directed me to make this blog a month later.  I wont forget Rachel and her families cruelty nor will I forget the hypocrites in the New Church who said things to me but had wives and children to run to while trying to tell me how to feel.  You say you want blessings for others but you had a chance to have someone who wanted to be with you both in love, spirit, and church, and you turned me away.  I am not sorry for telling the truth nor sharing my story.  Above is a tongue in cheek way to begin this reckoning,  "Round and Round" by Ratt simply to say if you love that love will come back to you and if you lie and hurt others that comes back to you.  Rachel I loved you and Jonathan with all my heart and I remember wanting to die because you just left me.  Now all I want to do is live and show everybody how cruel you are so you know what scars and lies do to people. Thank you for making me strong through your weaknesses. You can't hide from what I am doing and you had plenty of chances to make amends, make peace, and make right.  I did everything I could to reach out to you and it fell on deaf ears so now.  Here it comes!!!!! You spit on everything I loved my love for you and Jonathan,  My Christian Courtship, Loyalty, and My faith, and you spit on my family.  To you and your Church it was all a joke but to you and your family the reality of what you did will come to the forefront.  Remember the evil in sending my Christmas Card back, remember calling me damaged and mentally ill, and remember saying "You could never love someone like me" after telling you did love me and want to be with me,  and I never understood what "Someone Like Me" meant how bigoted and mean spirited.  You will suffer now by the truth and that is the only thing I will use, no idol threats,  no evil, and no personal harm just a peaceful declaration of the truth and this story of how Christmas doesnt exist to me because of how you and your family treated and reacted to me.

Look Back And Laugh : How I Treat The Ones I Truly Love

Dear Rachel and Readers,
"Look Back In Laugh"by Minor Threat was one of my favorite songs as a preteen and teenager. My premise being is that even when me or one of my friends had a falling out we always made up and to this day most of those people are still my friends.  Also this song was on the album "Out Of Step" if you carefully examine it carefully there is a black sheep running from the rest of the herd.  I knew from an early age I knew I was different and didnt fit.  I thought as an adult it would be easier to have relationships and make friends and people would be less pompous, arrogant, and less judgmental.  It seems I was wrong.  One day I would like to be laughing with Rachel Myatt and laugh about this whole situation.  I do still love her and Jonathan very much and I do believe in them.

I want to make this point clear about how much I love Rachel and so that she and her family know why I am doing this.  I want to direct this to Rachel's sisters Jessica and Rebecca since you are married.  A man came along and loved you and swept you off your feet and you married him. A man believed in you and you believed in him but most of all you put your trust in God.  With Rachel that is how I felt. I felt I could give her my all, tell her my secrets, and we were best friends.  Not a day goes buy when I dont miss her or wish I could hold her and Jonathan.  The day I left Canada was the day all I wanted was to come back and be with them again.  I would have a month later and I would have given Rachel a slow patient courtship but she let voices around her talk and not give me that chance.  Sure I was a little under the weather but I had just lost a parent.  I was having the best time with Rachel and her family even if I didnt smile much.  I was hurting inside.  I really missed my mom and seeing Rachel and Jane and Jonathan and everyone together made me really sad.  If you could understand all the tears welled up behind my eyes and how much I needed you Rachel then you will understand not only why I came at that time but why I came.  I was in love and still am to this day with you Rachel Myatt.  I wanted to be with you in Jonathan in fact there is still no other woman I think about being with the way I wanted to be with you two , Rachel.  I wanted a family with you and only you.  God led me to Dawson Creek,  he taught me about hurt, betrayal, deciet, true love, triumph over tragedy, and patiencce.  I love you Rachel and Jonathan with all my heart.

I dont do any of this to hurt you or your family Rachel.  I do this because I love all of you and I still believe that you will accept me and you will take me back in your life.  Forgive me like I have forgiven you.  Make my mothers blessing to you dear Myatts worthwhile.  Show that the bonds of Christ love transcend silly religious boundaries, squabbles,  and arguments and that we can love each other again and all the people who read this blog can see a happy ending and see two friends who love each other take all the hurt and all the pain and put it aside to go back to a beautiful place.  I believe in you Rachel Myatt. I love you and Jonathan with all my heart and I will never give up on that. 

The First time I told you I was in love with you it was God and this song and I shared with you.  I will never stop believing in You.  My Rae Rae I will always love you. "God Makes No Mistakes". 

Ruined Any Chance of Reconcilation : Passing of Time Has Turned A Good Heart Sour

Dear Rachel and Readers,
In 1992 a 17 yr old boy dreamed of love.  He loved this song he still has the worn out cassette single that he bought and used to spend hours listening too.  All I wanted was be loved.  The next year no one went to prom with him.  He was not cool enough, too weird, nerdy and introverted but a year later the girl who he asked and left flowers for on her locker called and said she was sorry that she was ashamed of what other people would think if she went with me.

I never asked to be different, not by the way I look, the way I talk, the way I dress, or the color of my skin.  It seem society gets to dictate my life.  I never have a say so in anything because no matter what I do I get judged.


Rachel and the Myatts have no idea what pain and how they have changed my life but they will soon know for Christmas.  "How The Myatt Family and The Church of the New Jerusalem Made Me Stop Believing in Christmas" will be my gift to them.  I want Rachel and Jane and all of them to know that treating me the way you did at the time you did and how it was done was hurtful, it almost killed me, and using religion as a crutch to abandon someone.  Rachel was and is a very selfish person and anyone that would hurt someone that loved her and went through as much as I did to be with her deserves to be humiliated.  I dont care how it affects your family.  It will be sent out to New Church and Non New Church organizations.  It all could have been corrected with a phone call or an email but Rachel is too much of a coward to face up to anything she did and her family are hypocrites to the religious lifestyle they say they live.  I had nothing but love for you all but I know the best way to put the evil that Rachel and her family did behind me is to expose it to the masses because they always thought this little blog was a joke.  It is no longer and they obviously don't care about saying things against other peoples family especially a grieving person.  So who cares how many of my stories I print out and what it does to the Myatt family. They sure didnt care about the effect Rachel's arrogance and big mouth had on my heart and well being in talking about my Mother.  I tried to make peace with you two Christmases in a row and that was all I wanted but it fell on deaf ears so now with that in mind just remember I reached out to you to make peace.  I asked for prayers, for love, and for reconciliation but now I know you don't have the peace or good will in you for that.  So I will tell my story and Rachel had her chance to make things more viable but she chose to let things escalate to this level.  Lies grow truth sets people free.

Rachel you and Jonathan were my angels and I love you like my own flesh but I cant stand by and hurt like this anymore.  Maybe if more people know about it you will understand how much you hurt me and how reconciliation on your part could have made things better.  I will end this with I love you and I wish there were some other way but you wont let God's light and love shine through..................


Rachel was blessed to have someone love her as much as I did.  What she chose to do with that blessing was play with it, misuse it, and mistreat it.  I wont feel sorry for publicly declaring things that are true about her and her family. There is nothing I can do about judgmental and bigoted people and they either change or they never do.  I have no guilt in what I am doing and I dont care who it affects.  

1. You had an amazing best friend who loved you and your son Rachel.


2. You played with a man's desire to have a family then you tried to make me look mentally ill, crazy, and disrespect me and my family and disrespect me by introducing me to your family if you didn't truly want to be with me.


3. You used God as a scapegoat to do evil, you used your Church doctrine, and you were just malicious and sick Rachel Myatt. That is why this deserves to be told to as many religious people as possible so they can see how the Church of the New Jerusalem thinks, treats, and the mindset they use around other Christians.

Cry,  sue, do whatever you want Myatts my soul is tired and I so done with this the more I expose the better my heart will feel.


God Bless ALL

Undetected

I love how you want to villianize me for Calling Out Rachel and The New Church then you dont want me to know you are reading my blog so you either spam it, use Spotify, Duck Duck Go, Emailtray, Villainstats or other things to keep up with me,  other programs to hide or send it to others.  Whats next the Secret Service because you consider me a threat Myatts? Rachel Couldnt be responsible for her actions and you treated her like that as a family and coddled her behind being cruel to me ,  just deal with it and all you New Church people you had your chance to do good and you messed it up being selfish and putting selfish doctrine that is not Divine before God's Word and the commandment to love your neighbor. You are free to trash me and demean my character and you did it thinking there would be no consequences but when someone made a big deal out of it and people started taking notice then you run scared.  I am not. Stop being cowards, confront me, stand out in the open, stand out for your good name, your reputation, stand up to me if I am telling mistruths. You cant because you know I speak the truth and you cant come on here like decent folk and debate me. You cant admit to your wrong doing Rachel.  The New Church keeps changing its rules to accomodate the discrepencies so none of the Pastors can very well come here and say anything.  I have known about you hiders for two years now you dont fool me. You are Detected. So keep trying to hide it wont do you any good.

Goodnight.

Loving Someone Unconditionally Who Didnt Love Herself : Christmas Prayer Chronicles

Dear Rachel,
I picked this song today because I realized how much I truly do love you.  The video for this song shows that sometimes when we care for someone we actually do the opposite and hurt and do mean things to people we care for.  Rachel I love you and Jonathan with all my heart all I want is for you to see that and stop hiding from me.  Stop treating me like a villain, you should have never made me a bad guy for loving you.  I did nothing wrong but believe in you.  You said you loved me then put all these stereotypes, ultimatums, and saying horrible things about me.  I tell you what I am going to do.  For Christmas around the world this year I am sending out a simple prayer to not only people of the New Church but to Churches around the world of different Christian Denomenations to tell them I love you and to ask only that people pray for peace and reconciliation between us.  You can keep ignoring me and keep being cruel knowing how much I love you.  You only bring your family and church grief and what makes its sad is that you know that I am right.  You know you let others talk you into not being with me, you know deep in your heart you wanted to be with me, you were ashamed to stand up and be loved. I loved you and that little boy like no other and for the rest of your life remember if you never make peace with me you were the one who broke me and you will see the results as I begin to rise into a star in the publics eye I will tell my story of how I once loved someone and how they were so cruel they even put my dead momma down.   You are loved beyond compare but on 11/13/12 the saga continues.  --        The Christmas Prayer Chronicles

love
Byron

Rachel Never Appreciated the Blessing of Being Courted and Loved

For guys like me a guitar becomes like a girlfriend.  It is the one we play that doesnt play us.  Rachel Myatt never appreciated that a guy loved her for all she was.  She never appreciated that I wanted her and only her,  I wanted to be with her and her son and accept them as a package.  She never cared that a guy wanted to be her best friend court her and was willing to do all the sweet things like travel 2,000 miles to be with her which I would have done on a regular basis.  Rachel I am sorry that in the coming weeks this story will be told in places that it hasnt but it has new life and you and the New Church will be center stage in what I am going to unleash.  I loved you and Jonathan with all my heart.  If you didnt already figure it out a Lunatone is a guitar.  I was loyal to you Rachel and loved you and your son as part of my own flesh.  My only wish is that you would come around and see that peace and reconcilation are the way to end this to avoid further unwanted exposure
You choice Rachel.  My arms are always open and so is my white flag
and white dove.

I love you Rachel Myatt

For All Those Who Didnt Vote: A Message for When You Start To Complain (A Message from An African American)

My Candidate May not have won but when people start complaining about the downfall of the Western Civilization and the destruction of American Values and Ways you have no reason to complain if you didn't at least go out to vote.  If you did vote back in the socialist, utopian, tax and spend Obama then dont complain either when your taxes go up, your benefits are depleated, and your children are going hungry.  The wool was pulled so far over everybodies eyes last night that it was not funny.  Canada and Mexico are now countries who enjoy more freedom than the United States and it is because people have become so greedy and entitled they no longer want to work hard to achieve their goals in life.  They want the government to subsidize everything or their Mommy or Daddy to pay for it.  Instead of work hard at the $25,000 a year job or work at McDonalds till they can find the $40,000 a yr job they sit at home and collect unemployment and foodstamps that others may actually need.  I am talking about able bodied men and women 18-40.  We used to have great men and women who did whatever it took to become who they wanted to be.  Now we will watch the Decline of the Western Civilization at the hands of a Democratic Party and the Puppet Prince of the Free World destroy all of that. You constantly sour our ties with our allies  like Israel while giving asylumn to Palestinians in the U.S. some who see us as infidels and want to kill us from the inside.  You apologize for things President Obama instead of have a backbone and stand up for the actions and the greatness of the United States of America.  You said when your husband became President,  Mrs Obama it was the first time you were proud to be part of this country. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LYY73RO_egw for the first time in my Adult life I am ashamed to be part of a country full of wimps, sissies, whiners, and people who dont kick ass when the going gets tough.  First of all look at where I am putting this up on a blog to my ex girlfriend who I love alot but I did not let her walk over me and this blog and what I did to show her my disgust with her actions is part of who I am.  I believe in second chances, forgiveness, change, and I am open minded.  My voter registration card says Independent.  I am beholden to no set of views of this world and God's Law's and His Word is my first priority in this world.  I cannot sit back and let this great country be ruined not only by the corrupt out of control Demcrats but the Republicons who refuse to stand for Conservative values and uphold the constitution while President Obama spits and defiles it with his pushed through executive orders and ignoring the limits of power that were set for him.  Let me ask you do we have a democratic republic anymore or just a privleged few who get to run the country? Is it not "We The People" not "I" the Obama.  People need to wake up to the possiblity that with a man who abuses this kind of power their might not be a United States in 4yrs and if so it is going to become a former shell of itself.

Letter to African American ands other Race Baitors,
If you voted for Barrack Obama because of the color of his skin you are an idiot.  Just to keep the white man out of office is sick an shows no thought on your part.  I know a lot of you voted for Barrack to keep your welfare checks going because some of you are too lazy to get a job.  You sit at home and drive your new car, smoke weed, hang out with the homies while some of us work our asses everyday black, white, hispanic, and others and foot the bill.  Some of you single mothers popping out babies like a toaster and using it as an excuse to collect money which you selfishly use toward yourself instead of provide for the kids.  Some of you are so lame you get on every government assisted program you can because you are too lazy to do for yourself.  Then the people who really need help can't get any.  The one time I did need help from the government in 2003 I was told I made too much money? Excuse me isnt that what I was supposed to do is work in a capitalistic society?  Black people as whole need to stop spending their money on fancy cars and 3rd world gems and learn to invest, buy and own their own houses and businesses.  Build their neighborhoods, schools, and kids minds to become the kings and queens of the world that our ancestors were in Mesopotamia so long ago.  We are scholars, we can overcome, we are lost as a people and we need to find our way.  Whites and blacks complain about Hispanics taking over and having businesses and community of their own.  The black community especially needs to have that sense of togetherness but I fear with the leaders we have that will never come to fruition under the current state of buffoons, old guards, and mismanagement, and race baiting.  African Americans by nature are conservative and like money so they should be capitalist and conservatives both physically and mentally.  They usually dont support things such as Gay Marriage, Abortion, most of them are God fearing Christian people yet they support the degeneration of American values through Barrack Obama his utopian, socialist, "Dreams From His Father"  African Americans and Americans of all walks of life, colors, creeds, and religions.

Signed Byron,
an Angry African American who is Proud of Being American and Always stands up for Truth, Freedom,  Liberty, and the Greatest Nation on this Earth.

The End Of The United States of America(Death of Liberty and the Rise of Socialism)

I am very saddened that we have elected another President who harms the infrastructure and the beauty of the United States of America.  We will slowly move away from what we were and become something totally different.  Tyranny, Police States,  and No Middle Class.  People expecting more from the government and less freedom to achieve those dreams and hopes on their own. Most campaigns I vote Libertarian, Green, and other 3rd parties.  I did vote for Mitt Romney because I am scared of the direction this country.  I hear a President who says "I" instead of "We" one that talks like a tyrant or king instead of "The Leader of the Free World" I stand by my statements and my feelings like I do everything else.  I am also an African American male who wanted people to believe in themselves, go to work, stop having their hand out.                                                        God Bless Us ALL

The Kind Of Pure Love I have for Rachel

Dear Rachel,
I listen to this song alot and I think of you. I think of all the laughter, the dreams, the good times we could have had and the ones we did have and how you just left me here.  I have never stopped loving you and I believe in you with all my heart.  I wish you well tonight and may God bless you and all your family.  I hope one day soon you will realize that true love transcends all limits and you and Jonathan are worth fighting for.

I love you Rachel.

Triumph Over Evil with Love

Dear Readers,

My heart, my soul, and my being belongs to the One True God above.  He has lead me on a journey of love through pain, deciet, deception, and lies so bad that he had to carry me just so I could live two years ago. Here I am at the threshold and pinnacle of showing that person who abandoned me and put me down how much I love her.  She is the one who is hiding, who has no idea how things are going to explode and occur.  The one thing I do know is that I Love You Rachel Myatt and Jonathan and this is going to be a pure expression of Gods love that will touch many peoples heart.  I am sorry you and I cant talk this out in person and going public is my only option.  I thought that in 2yrs you would have grown and had time to think about your actions, words, and the meaning of what you did.  I was destroyed but like the ancient Phoenix I rise from the ashes and I burn everything in my path to become anew.  The flame I have for you Rachel Myatt is so pure and so beautiful that the apex of the flame is the core of my love for all people. The Journey song is self explanatory it lets you, your family, your Church and anyone who has been following this blog know just how committed I am to carrying this love on .  I just want to tell you I love you all and God Bless ALL

John 11:25-26

²⁵ Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; ²⁶ and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?”

 
 

Love Spreads, From Dawson Creek, To Bryn Athyn, To Nova Scotia: The Winter Campaign is about Show Rachel Love Like Rudolph's Nose

Rachel You Are My Sister In Christ
No matter what you think of me
I will love you for life
When you believe in yourself
When you put your faith in God
You will never falter with his armor you will be shod
When I fight this fight against the New Church
It is one of words and one of peace

Did you ever think someone could love you so much
Yet you hide and deny them relief
I will never let my heart be taken over by devils and hatred to hurt you
I only want us back in each others life and if I have to make a movie thats what I will do
If I have to make a fool out of myself singing on corners Rachel  then that is how much I love you(and Jonathan)
You dont get the point do you?
You want to make me into someone scary because I am different
You want to make me into a villian because I dont fit some stereotype that someone in your family didnt like
I am sorry for not being perfect
You were far from the same
When I said I loved you I never pretended or said it in vain
When I was in your arms I meant it
You are the reason I came so far
Everyday you deny us reconcilation you continue to destroy what is left of my heart.

Just remember the Scripture below Rachel, Myatt, Friesen, and Baker families, and Pastor Glenn and COTNJ.  Just remember how I have never backed down or let any of you let me believe otherwise accept that God has a hand in this and that is what you need to know.  This is part of His Plan

Proverbs 28:1
" The wicked flee though no one pursues,
but the righteous are as bold as a lion."

Destroying Others Perception of Love : Selfishness That Leads To Pain and Suffering(To Rachel and Jessica)

 

 

Dear Readers,

Above is the first almost 20:00 minutes of the film based on the hit novel White Oleander by Janet Fitch.  It tells the story of Astrid Magnussen and how her mother Ingrid Magnussen influences her after she murders her boyfriend and is sentenced to 35 to life,  thus Ingrid begins her trip through the Foster Parent system. 


I want to make things clear why I am using these movie clips and and this particular movie.  Rachel and some of her sisters are Foster Mothers.  I could not believe how she treated me as I believed she was nuturing and caring but I found out she was cold and calculating much as Ingrid the mother in the is in the book and movie.  Rachel was my best friend I believed in her and her family and at a time when my mother had just passed away my girlfriend and her family meant everything to me.  All I had here at home was my brother and my father who I am not close to.  I still am not close to my father but he is very sick and I have been watching over him the past year or so.  Soon I may not have either parent but no one could ever say I didnt do the right thing or show love even to the parent who abused me and did not treat me well.  I tried to explain to Rachel and her mother Jane about being abused and they took that as me being mentally ill.  I was just telling a story that was an essential part of who I become.  In fact sometimes I am glad my father was so cruel to me and my mother because one I learned how to love women better by not following in his footsteps and seeing my mother hurt by his behavior all the time. 


Rachel if you or Jessica are reading this then you need to know one thing.  I love Rachel with all my heart and what I am about to say is from the deepest regions of my heart and as Foster Mothers you should know.   Rachel and Jonathan were the loves of my life and all I ever wanted to do was raise a big family with Rachel.  Whether the children were my blood children or they were Jonathan who I would have raised like my own flesh and blood Rachel was the woman I wanted a family with.  There was and has been no one else as I have only desired to marry one other person in my 37 years on this planet. God has instilled a love in me much greater than you or your family could know and after the years of abuse, lies, and let downs I had in life.  With Rachel I finally felt that I had purpose, design, and love and I wanted to love all the Myatts and Friesens and through my mother dying when she did she gave me her love and freedom to finally go achieve my dream.  I always stayed close to my mom because I knew she was sick afraid to truly just leave but I was free to be with Rachel and Rachel never understood that.  She never understood how special she and Jonathan were to me.   All the scars, the false I love you's from other women.  All the hurt and pain of rejection when other women passed my heart along felt like a child being passed through the system without a forever family.  I want the Myatts and Friesens and anyone that reads this to know that with Rachel I finally felt like I was home.  Through my hurt as a teen and early 20s I could have turned to the bottle, drugs, I could have womanized and treated woman as an object but I chose to be a straight edge Christian.  I could have gotten revenge on all those women who hurt me by sleeping with multiple women but I saved myself for Rachel in the end because she was the part of the blessing I saw in God's promise of chastness, patience, and humilty.  When Rachel played with my heart, put me down, and said ill things about my mental health and my mother I died inside.  To this day my heart is broken so bad I don't even believe that loving a woman is possible.  I did believe in loving Rachel and Jonathan enough to put everything on the line.  I want you to know this also


To Jessica,
The reason I write you because I see the Love of God in you and how much you love Children.   I never met you but I watch your videos and read your blogs and Rachel would talk about you a lot.  I love children that much too.  They always smile at me they love to play with me, yet  I have none of my own. Maybe Rachel thought she was justified in treating me as such but never again can she say a man did not love her and accept her religion.  She failed to remember that I was also someone's son who had just lost a parent and that she was lying to me breaking all her promises. She makes it hard for single mothers to find a good relationship by constantly playing with men.  Rachel was the only woman I ever wanted to have children with and to love her son meant a lot to me.  I wanted to be the full time Dad to him that he deserves.  Just playing with him a couple of days and his mannerisms let me know that he was special and that I could give him that time and wanted to devote my life to Rachel and Jonathan.  People in my family are saddened and some still hate Rachel for how she treated me because I had so much love for Jonathan and She.  I didnt care if I was poor.  I didnt care about giving up my life.  I even was going to finish my schooling by correspondence from Canada if I had too and I would have flew every month to see Rachel and Jonathan and Rachel and I was courting her for marriage and I would have waited 7 years if she had of been patient but one thing I know and I know to this day dear Myatts, Bakers, and Friesens.  I did and do love Rachel and Jonathan with all my heart so I write you this today.
In one brief moment Jessica your sister destroyed my faith in women, in love, in single mothers and in trusting people.  As for her being a good Christian woman. You dont taunt or put down someone who loves you because they are grieving and so I dedicate this song to you Jessica and her called "Missing" so that you can see how believing in your sister left me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXU0gEVwILs


To the entire family,
Nothing I have written has been to embarrass you or hurt you but to give you a window into just how deeply Rachel hurt me, how serious what she said and did was, and how using your faith to hurt others instead of heal is unacceptable.  One of my best friends is one of my ex's from Winnipeg Manitoba Canada named Amber and though its been since 2004 since she broke my heart, we got over it because we realized that God had given us something more important than any romantic relationship and that is love.  I was the one who had to forgive because she cheated on and left me for someone who eventually gave up and committed suicide.  Did I laugh and her face and say nah nah nah nah nah you get what you deserve?  Why no I came at her with love and in 2012 we are still the best of friends.  I believe Rachel loves me and I believe people mislead her to believe that I wasnt right for her because they didnt take the time to understand what I was going through.   You mistook my grief for unhappiness, my kindness for weakness, my need to be hugged and to cuddle with being needy, and just my openness as a form of self loathing.  You didnt really want to know me but I know how some people judge me I have had it happen my whole life.  I just want you to know for Christmas 2012 the only gift I want is Rachel Myatt's love and peace with the Myatt, Friesen, and Baker family.  I want the Church of The New Jerusalem to take heed to the Newsletters that I have sent out,  I want people to read this blog and know I never gave up on Rachel and Jonathan, Rachel gave up on me.  To this day my heart yearns and belongs to her.  I am sorry for a lot of the harsh things I said but some of them I am not and they needed to be said so Rachel knows the extent of what she said and did. Rachel Myatt I still believe in you with all my heart and that you are my best friend.  Maybe you were scared because a guy came along and did and said what he was going to do where others had failed you.  I didnt want you because you are pretty, or because of anything superficial.  I wanted you because I loved the person inside.  I wanted to make love to you because you were my best friend I didnt want you for sex.  I wanted you and Jonathan as a package my future wife and my son.  I love you both dearly and if you truly want to be of love and charity as Swedenborg teaches then give each of us the greatest gift of all reconcilation and forgiveness.  I cannot stress that enough if you cant find it in your heart to do that then the next best thing is to set me free.  write me a letter telling me why you treated me as you did.  Send me an email and then I can move on to maybe love someone else.  I will stop the blog and my campaign but if you read this or anyone in your family reads this you can set me free.  I want to use the last example of the movie when Astrid  ask her mother to set her free and leave her alone to live her life. I am asking you Rachel Myatt to set me free.  You may have thought you could just go back to living your life as before you were with me and that I was just supposedly magically forget you exist but I loved you and you manipulated and played with the fact that I wanted a family and when you couldnt handle or truly get to know who I was you bailed.  You were cruel, wreckless with your words, and unlady like.  You cant hide form fate and I am still alive and I am still sharing this story so its up to you how the story ends. You have broken my heart into so many pieces yet I still believe in you and Jonathan.  I will conclude with the part of the video and a couple of statements the rest is up to you Rachel Myatt






In the first video watch from 6:05 till the end and in the second one watch from the beginning till 4:45.  Sometimes people are so selfish and one sided they only see their own pain and they dont look to see how they affect others and that is one of the points I have been trying to make about Rachel and I having a relationship. I had lost so much but yet I was still willing to give everything despite losing my mother and I even had to fight just to get my passport on time to be with Rachel and Jonathan.  Rachel on the other hand it was all about her. She didnt care about what I wanted, or how I felt, or what her actions actually meant.  She didnt even think that there were consequences to anything she did.  She just wanted to live her life carefree like I didnt exist and that my pain didnt matter just as Ingrid did in leaving Astrid with Annie for a year.  We chose to be selfish in life and it does have consequences.  These past months I have been saddened by the fact that Pastor Coleman Glenn would get married and publicly speak on his internet relationship while downplaying the fact that I loved Rachel in much of the same way and say that my love was not right.  It seems that people in the New Church pick what is good only when it benefits them.  That is not a doctrine of God that is a doctrine of man and how can we say one thing to a person and do another especially a supposed Servant of God.  I just wanted everyone to know exactly why I have kept up this campaign and blog.  I want Rachel, and the Myatt family to realize just how deeply Rachel and their actions have hurt me and how hypocritical and contradictory they are.  My heart is full of nothing but love for you all so I end this blog today with a couple of words.


Rachel Myatt you are my Best Friend.  I love you through Christ.  I want you back in my life.  If you or your family cannot see the beauty and how much I love you and Jonathan through this blog or anything I have written or done in the past then set me free by making peace with me and I will be out of your life forever. I promise to take the blog down, stop the campaign of love, and anything else you might find offensive if Rachel has the courage to make peace with me.  I love you and Jonathan with all my heart Rachel and for Christmas I want the gift of our friendship back. No material presents from anyone, I want prayers, I want grace, I want to hear your voice again.  I love you and I would go to the edge of the earth for you and Jonathan.  God bless you and all you family.

Amen!