Slow and Steady Wins the Race!

I was always patient with Rachel Myatt and I loved her for all that she was. I want to write a quick blog to let people know what kind of love I truly have for this person and how deeply her actions have affected me and the last year. I am going to use two movies as an example of what I feel and what conflicts I have with what Rachel did.  We are all free to use our free will and treat people however we want but when we lie to people who truly love us then we the person are at fault. Their is not better thing that the truth even if the truth hurts a person will appreciate it more if you tell them the truth then to lie and pretend. It will save a lot of heartbreak later.  Do you know why I have kept this blog up and never stopped my worldwide campaign to let Rachel know I still love her.  Well here are a few reasons why.


1.Rachel is a good person she has a lot of love to give but she chooses not to use that love. She chooses to make enemies out of people and use the beauty of what could be good for evil.  My whole reason for this blog is because she lied to me and betrayed a friendship that I thought was true. I sat in an airport with her and her nephew and asked her straight faced if she wanted to continue to be my girlfriend.  If she had of said no I would have shook her hand, hugged her, and been sad but I never would have reacted the way I did.  Rachel waited till I came all the way back to Texas from Canada. Kept telling me how much she loved me and then two days later 12 hours after she chatted about how much she loved me she text me to tell me that she didnt think she could be my girlfriend.  On top of that she said I was sick, unhappy, and damaged.  Wasn't a person who just lost their mom allowed some sadness, grief, and solace.  I came to be with her to get away from that and find a little happiness with the one I loved and who had told me she would be there for me.  Instead she is cruel and inconsiderate of me and I literally wanted to die for like two weeks after that and if there is one thing that I hate it is lying and eventually you can't escape it so now Rachel is being faced with all she said and her family and Church is being affected by it. Lets see how things turn out in the next couple of months because I am far from done but I am going to try to use a part from a movie and book called "Cruel Intentions" to explain what is happening to Rachel now that the lies are being thrown back in her face and the truth comes out The above video from what it might be like. 

Here is the comparison and the reprise. If you have ever watched the movie step siblings Kathryn and Sebastian are both horrible people.  Sebastian is a liar who manipulates girls to get into bed with them.  He is the lesser of two evils. Kathryn is a lying, manipulating, condescending, cold calculating ice queen.  They make a bet that if Sebastian can bed the sweet out and proud virgin Annette that Kathyrn would sleep with him something he has always desired.  In the process Sebastian truly falls in love with Annette but she learns of this wager.  Sebastian is repentant and seeks redemption and in the process his life is ended.  He became so much more than Kathryn would ever be because he realized the error of his selfish ways.  So yes I am comparing myself and Rachel to these two characters because though we both did wrong.  I was the one who was wronged first and I asked for her forgiveness.  I asked for peace and she has continued to be cruel and unresponsive.  No that I have put the truth out there it is funny because she has taken almost all the information about herself and her family off the internet.  I won't use that against her I only use the truth.  I love her and her son Jonathan.  I have nothing but respect for her mother and father and sisters and brothers.  I am doing what I am doing to help her see that like author and Pastor Rob Bell says "Love Wins"  I Love You Rachel Myatt, deeply, truly, unconditionally, and unwavering. Why cant you see that? Why didn't you always see that? I am not doing any of this to hurt you or belittle you. I am doing this because I believe in you.  I want you to stop being cruel to people and use your good, your beauty, and your presence for love, kindness, and good will.  If I didn't love you do you think I would still care or give you the time of day. I probably would have just trashed you all over the place and moved on but I have been decisive in my campaign and the things I said.  So do you want to be like Kathryn, Rachel or do you want to be like Sebastian and realize the things you are doing to others?

The second example I will use is an inspirational true story and a Disney movie called Secretariat. It is about one of the fastest horses to ever live and both his owner and his struggle to achieve their dreams. In the movie Diane Lane portrays the real life Penny Chenery. Through the course of the movie Penny never gives up though family, friends, and the public doubther.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Vv8r6uN6ns&feature=related  She believes in her dream, her prayers, and her horse and in the end the best results are achieved.  I feel like I am akin to both Penny and Secretariat. This is a story about faith and not letting obstacles getting in the way of what is really important to you. I love you Rachel Myatt like my own flesh and blood. You are family to me and even if you have not been around for awhile I haven't stopped loving you and I wont give up on you. You may think my methods are harsh or unorthadox but anyone who has been one of my true friends will attest to the fact if you mean something to me I would walk through hell to make things right with them. You are one of those people.   People including Rachel have doubted me.  I got knocked down and back up again to fight even stronger than before. Now with little to no fear.  My friends and family believe in my love for Rachel.  I haven't given up and if fact I have just begun to unleash my arsenal.  If Rachel cant look into the mirror and see that a man loves her for all that she is and is willing to love her even after all the cruel and hurtful things she said and did to me. Then she doesn't know the power of redemption, true love, and forgiveness. The whole time I was dating Rachel she found flaws with me when all I did was love her for her flaws, her perfections, and imperfections.  I accepted her faith, her son, her family, and all that she was.  I want to end this with a scripture that maybe Rachel will look at and think back about how she treated me. 
Luke 6:42
How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.

Rachel you spent so much time judging me and finding fault with me, you forgot all I wanted was to love you and Jonathan and the same from you.  You were cruel, unkind, and inconsiderate and here I stand with open arms waiting to here from you. Do you deserve this from me? No! I do love you though and no evil in the world would stop me from caring about you or wanting peace with you. So I am going to keep trying. I will keep writing. I will keep sending things and putting up messages on the internet and where ever. I will share my songs with people around the world. I will keep loving you.  All you have to do is call me and talk to me and things would be a lot better.  Each night before I go to bed I say a prayer not to get you back into my life but just to tell God how much I love you and Jonathan.  If you don't know how much I truly love you, then you never did, and never will. I am sorry that you felt that you couldn't love someone who believed and truly cared about you so much and felt the need to tear me down and ridicule me to others to make yourself look in the right. I hold no animosity against you. I love you dearly.  This video from the movie "Me and You and Everyone We Know" pretty much how I have always felt about you and I hope someday you will find it in your heart to return to me.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6zfNltnraFQ
I was never afraid to love you Rachel Myatt.  You were afraid of what would happen if you actually loved someone back. I will always love you and Jonathan , but my soul is free. My mother would only want me to love you and never give up on you. God wants me more so to continue loving to you. For every person that says I can't I say I can. I love you Rachel Myatt and I will go to the ends of the earth to make peace with you and for you to understand how much you can be loved. I think the world of you.

The Pretender

I was in your bed you held me in your arms kissed you on your naked body and you shared with me your charms
You told me that you loved me and wanted me.  I believed you then you suddenly abandoned me
I was lost and cold left in the wind. The nights were so painful that I will never love again
And the worst part about the whole situation is that I was your friend and you didn't appreciate it
To me it was all about love and honor, respect, morals and family or did you want that.
I wasn't an experiment I was a human heart, a real person but I was your game and you played the part.
So selfish not knowing what I was going through. Even though you hurt me I don't wish evil on you.
I hope one day you look back and understand the damage you did and why you received the payback.
I'm not out for retalliation, vengence, or revenge.  I have a story to tell on the truth I will extend
You chose to lie to a heart so true.  A man that would have moved space and time for you.
I loved you and your son.  You chose to treat me like a ragdoll and move on.
To me true love is what mattered, but you made up all these excuses and my heart you shattered
Other people have feelings too! We are not at the disposal of amusing you
I won't forget one cruel word, or how I cried, almost died, and saw death in your hateful slurs
I hope the same is returned to you. One day when you think you are in love he just crushes you.
I hope that you burn the way you put me in flames. When your mom dies maybe you will remember my name.
How you ridiculed and taunted me.  When all I wanted was you to love me. I look back at all your letters and lies and I feel the betrayal, the heartbreak, and the demise.
I don't care if you hurt now. I'm just here to tell a story and get the word out. Go ahead take down all your pictures and videos off the internet because the truth is what I have to say hasn't hit yet.
I am like an open book. I am not ashamed of saying anything private that I may have overlooked
You never appreciated the relationship, to you I was just someone to pass time in your lonely ship.
Now you look at the clock almost a year is past. I still hurt and love you and the hands past 5 but I wont revisit the hour that you tore me apart instead on mission I have decided to embark.  I want you to understand now I am a broken man. You destroyed my believe in the hope of a good woman. So go ahead and pretend that you are a good Christian woman. While you judge others and show inconsideration and are not compassionate. When all the walls come falling down around you know that I no longer care and won't help you rebound.  You left me out in the middle of the street like a homeless child with no parents and nothing to eat.  I would have never been that cruel to you now hindsight and recollection is that I was truly in lN LOVE WITH YOU , but you were just another wolf taking a piece of my heart then walking off into the woods.  No integrity, just take what you need and discard.  When the truth comes out for you it will be hard.  I hope you have nightmares about me because I am your worst one because when I am done you wont forget me.  All over your dreams because of what you did. No security blanket or doll like when you were a little kid.  You will have to face the facts that we are responsible for our good deeds and our evil acts.  In your case you live a life with no remorse I would rather live a life of forgiveness and no regrets.  My love for you was never a mistake it was true it was real and I cared about you and I can truly say.  That I would have given you all of me but you treated me like a joke and so now you will see. What you did has consequences. You are past the point of no return you burned the bridges now theres no mending fences.  I am sorry that felt you were justified to make such remarks because my mother had just died.  I would never wish that pain on you but the things that you did you have no clue. So just hide, go ahead and walk away.  Soon you will get the jest of all that I have left to say. You are just a scared and inconsiderate woman. If you were truly strong you would face up to all that you have done. Your hide behind others to justify your lies and wrongs but eventually it will catch up to you like the end of the song.  So I don't have many thoughts left to expound on this except I remember when you and I first kissed. I thought my lips would be filled with love and joy but you will now see how your lies and hurt have turned that to something more.  In my sadness came a strength I could not subdue. God put in my heart to just keep loving you.  If you want to ignore me go ahead because I wont turn my back on anything that Christ has said. You can continue being my enemy. That is ok because you will never be that to me. I love you Rachel Myatt go ahead and keep quiet because at the end of the day I won't live my life in silence. I am here to be seen and heard living life to the fullest and being one with HIS Word.  You can't forgive, forget, and move on well that is ok hold that darkness in your heart I wont be there when sunlight hits the dawn. Then you wake up and realize what you done and its all out in the open and you are standing there open mouth, hanging tongue. From tragedy I rose from the ashes like a phoenix from the flame my story will reach masses. Then you will finally see the light but it will be to late because I will have already taken flight.  I was your friend, forever! No returning letters to the sender but you betrayed all that was sacred, beautiful, loving, and tender. I am sorry that I took the time to love you Rachel Myatt the Pretender  

For being so hurtful with your words making fun of a grieving person and calling them sick, messed up, and damaged.  I wish you no harm,  I haven't stopped caring about you but I dedicated this video to you today to show you how hateful I could be but I still choose to be full of love for you.  Instead though I felt like this at first and you deserve it if I still did.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wmKHHdqwVes

Getting Knocked Down, Getting Back Up, Fighting and Succeeding

It has been almost a year since Rachel knocked me so far down the rungs on the ladder that I never thought I would get back up.  What did I do? Well I stewed for a couple of months and was just in a catatonic state.  Then I begin to think.  I began to do what I always do. Get back up and fight. I fight my battles with a pen, my mind, intelligence, and love.

1. I loved someone who claimed to be open minded but was one of the worst kind of bigots of all.
A RELIGIOUS BIGOT.  I was willing to accept her faith but all she ever did was put me down about mine. How is that religious tolerance from a Church that when you go to their website claims that there is salvation for all even non Christians too. The most hypocritical thing about it is that I am already a follower of Christ and I loved this person unconditionally.  Point one taken.

2. I never backed down from loving her, I never gave up on her no matter how mean, cruel, or hateful she was. I saw the good in her but she choose to find flaws and just constantly nit pick at our differences instead of see how much we really had in common.  One thing I will never do is put down others because of creed, belief system, gender, ethnicity or anything else superficial.  I loved you through thick and thin.  So yes I did have a reason to be pissed off.

3. I never should have forgiven you for the way you lied to me,  you knew I was in mourning and grieving and I came to you as my dearest friend for love and comfort. I came to you because you were the person who said you loved me.  I was always honest with you and if you truly cared then you would have been there for me and if you didn't think things were gonna work out you could have talked to me in person or on the phone. I would have been able to take it but no you had to break up with me over a text and then make up all these horrible things about me that you know weren't true.  You know what Rachel I want to say this right now. The time I spent with you and Jonathan was one of the happiest times in my life.  All I wanted was just to be with you two I was happy doing whatever.  I was happy just being with you, loving you, I wanted to know about you.  All that time you made up stuff about me being sad and actually my love for you was keeping all the pain and hurt inside from losing my mother and giving me hope for a better future but no you threw it all away because you were indecisive, impulsive, and selfish.

4. To the New Church of The Jerusalem worldwide especially the Canadian chapter. I had nothing but love for all of you. I do not go around putting down other followers of Christ or of other faiths for that matter. Rachel chose on many occasions to act arrogant, elitist, and like she knew everything.  If we did we would all be gods. We are not we have only one and Lord Jesus Christ compels and ask of us to love and accept one another.  We should not lie is one of the Ten Commandments but it seems that from my experience with Pastor Coleman Glenn from the Dawson Creek , British Columbia New Church it is ok to lie to justify our own selfish needs. I will post your emails to me if I need to to explain my point. I don't feel the need to be so petty just to prove a point I know to be true. Rachel had the chance to be an adult and talk to me as such.  Instead knowing how much pain I was in and how much I was hurting she chose to do what she wanted for her own selfish needs. We were supposed to be together and if she didn't want to be together she had every chance to be honest to me.  I asked her and she lied plain and simple.  So my actions are justified. 


5. On Sept 9th it will be a year since Rachel Myatt sent me that hurtful and painful text message "I Don't Think I Can Be Your Girlfriend" no real answers and when I asked her on the phone it was because I wasn't happy, I was damaged, and sad.  No crap my mom had just died.  Didn't mean I was damaged though. I came to see you because I thought you believed in me and the love I had for you. I believed in the love I thought you had for me.   So I will no longer feel guilty about telling the truth.  I am putting out this project Church of Oneself:Letters To Rachel in various form in the next year starting in September.  If you are hurt and pissed off I am sorry.  I am using all forms of correspondence you shared with me.  If you want to sue me for slander or libel go ahead.  I don't care.  You already did the worst crime ever when you broke my heart, claimed I didn't love God, and called me damaged, unstable, and unhappy.  Yes I am all that now because of someone playing with my dream of wanting a family. So I am showing my disdain and disgust with what you did worldwide since you did it to other guys.  I can pull up in my messenger how you talked about the other guys who were with you and in the end it was about how weird they were. Then you did the same thing to me.  Did you ever stop to think that you are the one that is messed up.  I mean I was willing to come all the way to Canada.  Give up anything I had here.  Love you and your son as my own flesh. I was loyal to you though I had much temptation.  My heart and love was rooted in Christ the whole time.  All you did was ridicule and put me down and I still loved you and believe in you.  So now you have had a year and I refuse to hold back anymore.  I Love You Rachel Myatt.  I love your son.  Your family but I am also a human being with a heart, a soul, and a lot of love and you took advantage of that love.  I am sorry for the things I did to hurt you but you were and never have been sorry or remorseful for the things you did to me for me to react that way.  I have free will to do what I want and I don't care now if it hurts you.  I ask for your forgiveness.  I asked for peace and you ignored me.  The ball was in your court.  I had nothing but love for you.  If I put it all out in the open now you will see how much I truly loved you and what you missed out on and how you truly wronged me.  I am not the victim and that is a stupid role to play for anyone.  I am a person who loved you and who you betrayed, lied to, and deeply wounded and you turned your back on me even when I asked for your forgiveness that I didn't have to ask.  The cross is now yours to bear and I am not sorry for what I am doing now. All you ever had to do is pick up the phone and call me and if you wanted I would even go away forever.  You know in your heart what you did was wrong so that is why you hide.  I Forgive you Rachel Myatt. Stop hiding and make peace.
Psalm 39:8
Save me from all my transgressions; do not make me the scorn of fools.

I never judged you for being a single mother out of wedlock even though I was taught to look down on that I loved you as you were.  I wanted to be a family with you and still you judged me and put me down.  Here is a song for you today. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9d-kwuFJCPQ

Personal Responsibility

Dear Rachel and Readers,


I want to write today about Personal Responsibility real quick.  In the great worldwide web we are responsible for everything we write, we say, and we do.  That being said I am fully aware of the things I say. I take great care in what I do say on here. I mean all of it and I am willing to take any consequences.  I have said things about Rachel that may have been hurtful but most of them are true. I have reacted to the New Church the way they have reacted to me and that is truthful. The Americans acting loving and concerned and the Canadians pushing things off to the side. I truly do love Rachel Myatt and that will never change.  I think she is toxic and hurtful toward people and I started this blog and worldwide revolution so that in the future she may be truthful to people and not lie to them. I am about to embark on a journey of art and media around North America to share the project I made about how Rachel broke my heart and betrayed my friendship.  That is why I am saddest. The kind of friendship I had for her was beyond any romantic type love I had for her it was true, honest, and unconditionally and I have about 5 friends in this world that I love like that. Rachel I still love you like that. You can read this and you can think about it and you can put all your pride and ill feelings behind you.  As much as you hurt me I have forgiven you. I am doing what I am doing now because God has put me on this path because He knows how much love I have as a person and how I never give up on those I care for. It is your choice. Continue being selfish and I will continue showing the love I have for you worldwide. Or you can pic up  the phone and we can talk as adults do and as they say in the ghetto. "We can squash this Beef!" I would really like to put all this animosity and hurt behind us. I love you and I know that you can't just be living your life thinking you were able to escape the damage you done because you have shown that by your actions on the internet.  You have affected your family, your church, and yourself by being selfish. Do what is right for the greater good before it gets any bigger.  I love you Rachel Myatt. Show you love me at least as a friend and let all the evil and bad feelings go. I still believe in you. I still love you with all my heart.  I pray that soon this will end happily for both of us. Until then I will continue my worldwide campaign of showing you how much you and Jonathan mean to me and when it becomes huge there will be nothing you can do to stop it.  I gave you a chance to keep it at a small level now I have started taking it to the world. Peace.

Food for thought Rachel.
1. You showed Religious Bigotry and Bias to me the whole time we were together I showed tolerance acceptance and love.
2. I never lied to you, you were the only girl I ever wanted, I desired you and told you I only wanted intimacy if you wanted to be in a relationship. You played with that.
3. You played with a man's want an desire to have a family.  Some men don't want to take care of their own children let alone accept another man's child as their own but there I was full of love for Jonathan and I loved both of you more than my own life. I was ready to give up all that I had here and be with you. You played with that true love, that devotion, and my loyalty to you.  Then you have the audacity to call me damaged and unstable.  Especially after I had just lost my mom. 

Rachel you really need to think about the harm and damage you have done and why I am warranted in using my free will to do what I am doing. I am telling a story because of the way you acted. I am man enough to admit that part of the way I reacted was wrong but it was not without merritt . You can only hope to be as strong when one of your parents dies and then and only then will you understand what I was going through. The fact though that I loved you enough to still keep my promise to you, allowed you a chance to break up with me if you wanted to, then have you lie and treat me with such disrespect. You only care about your own happiness and selfish free will. You have no idea what it is like to sacrifice for others, save Jonathan.  If you give true love a try, selfless, unconditional love a try. Then and maybe only then will you be able to truly live a life of good. You are so judgmental of others but this whole time I have loved you, sought forgiveness from you even though I did nothing wrong.  If you felt manipulated I am sorry but your lies to me killed me and I wasn't nor shouldn't have held that back. You need to see what not being truthful did to people and you are getting what you deserve. I am sorry that you have been put out there like this but I put all my personal business out there too so I am no longer afraid or scared of anything. After your hurtful and heinous act against friendship, love, and trust.  I have no faith in humanity anymore.  The only thing that would bring that back and redeem it in my eyes is if you were to pick up the phone and end this.

Nature of the Battle : Not Giving Up on the One's You Love

Anyone who has ever truly known me has grown to love me.  Even some who were my enemies and hated me are good friends now.  I know how beautiful I am because of the Grace of God and it is His gift that has kept me focused, level, and able to continue to love those who oppress and look down on me.  So to Rachel Myatt and the entire Myatt and Friesen family and anyone who has read this and seen my strength. Or to anyone who has thought it crazy to continue to love someone who treated me bad and betrayed me it is God's love alone that will guide me.  I love Rachel Myatt with all my heart and no matter what any Pastor that doesn't no me says or anyone says I know deep in her heart she loves me and she doesn't know what to do because I have never given up on her.  I leave you all today with a piece I wrote about a year ago called "Nature of The Battle" It was about being able to trust Rachel after all the other hurt and betray I had been through with women.  Rachel Myatt I do love you completely and no matter what you are doing or what is going through your mind.  You were my true love and I can never trust or love anyone again.  

 Nature of the Battle

 There is no encore this time I'm bowing out. Stand with grace as my

face turns to the crowd. There is no audience for this resolution. So

to walk away from this disaster is my solution. I stood facing you all

forward for far to long. As you walk on or turned your head the other

way. I close the door now and I won't look back maybe I will be able

to revisit someday. We grew further apart and had different dreams.

I'm older now and being refined is my thing.  It used to be about

angst, youth, and being loud but I would rather hear a pretty girl and

a cello fading out.We had some good times but our run is through.

I'm sorry that is just how I really feel about you. Pretty soon you

will be just a memory of who I was, where I was, and who I am going to

be. I used to be wide eyed and optimistic but now its just a mist of

tears so pessimistic that you don't see the discomfort behind closed

doors.............

Rachel Myatt I am not going to stop caring or loving you.  I hope you will understand that and eventually come back to my heart.  I love you with all that is left of what was broken.

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Different : The Beauty of Being Real

Rachel Myatt and my readers I am different. I am beautiful. I am blessed.  I am proud of who I am and though I let Rachel tear me down and believe that there was an honest loving Christian woman in her. I learned that she wasn't.  She is afraid to love, afraid to tell people the truth but shallow, self centered, and cowardly so she has to put down other people in order to make her self look like somebody.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahobQNHBV-M  Yeah I am proud I am an individual.  I loved you and your son. I was willing to be selfless and give you all of me and want to spend my life with you and Jonathan, Rachel Myatt and what did you do.  You played me like a game.  So now that I am doing everything I said I would how do you feel?  My tour has only just begun.  My book has now turned into a full multimedia project an exhibit of art, music, spoken word and I am going to show as many people as I can.  You didn't believe me but yes I am doing this and I am not looking back.  You can sue me, do whatever you feel like doing, I don't give a flying flip!!!!   I may have gotten sad, depressed and felt like I wanted to die when you abandoned me but the one thing I didn't do is lose my faith in God and my faith in myself.  See that is the difference between me and you.  I go out and do stuff that I say I am going to do.  I keep my promises.  I don't back down.  You say things and then back down, you let others influence you, or you don't speak your mind fully.  You were that bully girl in high school that made fun of others and now you are just a nobody so you have nothing to fall back on.
You are so hung up on the guy that didn't want you.  Jonathan's dad that you didn't allow yourself to be loved by me. You saw that I was for real, that I loved you for real, and that I would stick around and do anything and you ran scared.  Am I obsessed with you. Hell NO!!  Do I Care About you? Yes I do.  Do I still love you? Yes as my sister in Christ you will always have my love.  Do you or did you deserve any of my love? No because you abused it.  You played with it. You lied. and most of all you used God's name in vain to do it.  You even wanted me to hate you! You know I am not capable of that.  So what I want to say today is that to Rachel Myatt I am far from done. You can sit back and know life goes on. Your lies catch up with you, you may not pay for it today, or tomorrow but somewhere down the line for all the lies and games you played with me it will be returned to you and even worst.  I asked for peace with you so my heart is clear and free. I don't need your forgiveness,  I don't need your reconciliation,  I don't even need to hear your name again.  What you did was disgusting, hateful, and you deserve ever bit of whatever comes to you in the future.  For making fun of me and calling me sick because I lost my mom I have to say this and once again I am a Christian but I fall short sometimes I have to say FUCK YOU RACHEL MYATT,  FUCK YOU AND any Religion that Teaches that it is OK to act like that to Someone who has lost a relative or loved one. WHAT IF JONATHAN DIED do you think I would ridicule you and break up with you because you were under the weather.  No! So FUCK YOU RACHEL MYATT.  FUCK YOU NOW and FUCK YOU LATER and I hope that nothing ever happens as hateful and hurtful as what you did to me because I don't have evil in my heart like you do.  I am proud of who I am,  I don't back down to anyone.  The Letters To Rachel Project Tour starts in the Northwest in September and I am not kidding. Your church will see what I am talking about. You will see what I am talking about and you will think the next time you say you love someone, say you want to be there for them, then talk shit about them, and kick them when they are down.  I loved you and Jonathan and was willing to give my life for you two. What were you willing to give for me. Yeah you are a selfish, uncaring, self righteous, pretender and I intend to expose you to all those guys you hurt before and so you wont hurt anyone else.  I do this for my Brothers who don't need to put up with your crap. I love you and still care for you but you lie in your bed now sleep in it!!!!!!!!!!!

Say What You Mean and Mean It

Dear Readers,

The next two months I will be aggressively starting the press phase of my "Letters to Rachel Worldwide Campaign" I will be going to different cities in North America drumming up interest, leaving pamphlets in the airport, the subway, the train station.  I have already sent out letters to most of the Church of the New Jerusalem in most of the world with about 20 letters in the U.S. alone.  I am going to start putting up my videos and releasing some songs from September on.  I want you to know this.  The reason I am doing this is so that 1. Rachel can see that I am a man who loved her and loves her.  Maybe the other guys gave up on her but I never did.  She abandoned me.  This is all being done to show her that you should be honest and if you really love someone then don't lie about it.  I think those words I LOVE YOU are the most misused words in the world today.  You know what though? Every time I said them to you Rachel I meant them and I still do. I love you and Jonathan Myatt with all my heart. My love for you was never a fairy tale. It wasn't something I took lightly. I was faithful to you, showed you the utmost honesty, I desired and only had eyes for you and how did you treat me.  You treated me like I was a game.  So the reason why all this is happening to you well here goes it goes.  The second reason for me doing this is that you need to learn to Say What You Mean and Mean It  Stop being all wishy washy and fickle. If you say you are going to do something do it.  If you love someone love them.  How could you possible say you loved me and respected me for who I was after you hurt me so bad? I was shocked and disgusted by you saying that because you broke up with me by a text message from Canada.  That crap was insensitive, it was cowardly, and showed no respect for me or the hurt I was already going through with my mother.  I loved and respected you and would have let you go at the airport if you didn't want to be with me but you lied. So here we are almost a year later and you said there would be no consequences and here I am out in the open letting everyone know worldwide and you have to hide bringing shame on your family, your faith, and yourself.  You know deep in your heart though how much I love you and Jonathan and by my bed still sits the pictures of you and him.  You still have my heart and you still have my love.  I still love you and your family no matter how cruel you are to me and how much you ignore me.  I face the threat of dying from a disease that came unexpectedly but here I am 9 months after the diagnosis still loving, still fighting, and still caring about people like you who don't deserve my friendship, my unconditional love, or my caring.  So the question is Rachel will you be a woman and be able to make things right with me or should I proceed to tell this story and keep being diligent and not backing down.  You know that I won't I am telling the truth and I have God and the truth on my side.  With your letters, text, messenger conversations, and emails I have nothing but your words and I won't lie about someone I love.  Why did you have to lie to me? If you had respected our friendship, our relationship, and God's love then you would have talked to me and we could have ended things amicably but in the end it was all about you. This whole thing was always about you. You wanted someone to love you, care about you, and be there for you but only from afar.  You didn't want to actually be there for me you just liked what I had to say and the values that I espoused. You just wanted a boyfriend of convenience and not one that would actually travel so far and put his life on hold to be with you.  I am sorry that you didn't know how much I truly loved you and that is sad. You can continue to hide and I will continue to tell this story on many levels of media or you can call me, email, Skype or whatever and we can make peace.  I am asking you this as my sister, my fellow human being, the only woman I have ever loved as much.  I am still reaching out to you can you lay it all down and accept that I truly love you?

John 8:32
Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

A Christian is not a Christian by Right of Birth, but by conduct of life - Emmanuel Swedenborg

Open Letter to the Canadian Church of the New Jerusalem :Bishops Pastors and Reverends

Dear Bishops, Pastors, and Reverends,
 
I hereby affirm to you this day August 11th 2011 that I love Rachel Myatt as my friend, my sister in Christ, and someone I will always care about.  You recently received letters about my love for her that I sent out all around the world. I did that because I deeply care about Rachel and I am writing this reply especially to Pastor James Cooper of the Olivet New Church and Day School of Toronto,Ontario and to Coleman Glenn of the New Church of Dawson Creek, British Columbia. I wrote you as spiritual leaders because of the deep love I have for Rachel.  I wrote you because I believe in her and because her actions toward me were shocking and very hurtful after all the love and promise she showed as my dear friend and girlfriend.  She acted loving and kind and then all the sudden became hostile, hateful, and hurtful toward me.  I wrote you because at the time I lost my mother things were sad, I was lost, and hurting but I came to Rachel for love, for true friendship, and for caring and she used the teachings of the New Church to tear me down because she couldn't have her way.  She wanted me to stop loving her which I could not do, she wanted to abandon me, curse me, and put me down and then tell me there would be no consequences for any actions she took toward me.  Her actions sent me into a deep depression, she thought that I would just walk away and let her walk all over me after her cruelty, lies, and deception.  No I thought about revenge at first but in the end the best way to be is loving.  So I started the Letters to Rachel Worldwide Campaign to let her know I love her.  It was not meant to hurt her but to hold a mirror up to her face and show her that even though she lied, abandoned me, and was cruel to me when I needed her most after my mother died.  I still love her, I still care, and I want everyone to know it.  I don't care what you or anyone else thinks of me Pastors, Reverends, and Bishops.  All I care about is what God wants.  Free will allows us to be selfish and hurtful and that is what Rachel chooses. I choose to love and try to use my logic, my writing, and thought to win battles.  I know that I am doing the right thing because Rachel and her family are the ones suffering not me.  Rachel used to love to make movies and put pictures up on the internet.  She doesn't now because she was so cruel to me she thinks I will use them against her.  She doesn't answer my call to peace because she knows she was wrong and her actions were wrong. I did some wrong things to but I also know that I truly loved her and that was never a mistake, it was always God's will, and I continue to love her.  So to Pastor Cooper who wrote me a short letter about how continuing a conversation about a romantic relationship with woman who isn't interested in me would be inappropriate. Well this was never about a romantic relationship and Rachel sure did act like she wanted me I have hundreds of lies from her on my computer and phone and pictures to prove it. We were intimate, we were close, and she was my best friend so to me it seems like as a spiritual leader and someone I came to in confidence you just are afraid to deal with things. One guy from Texas who told you he loved someone who used your theology to hurt and you have nothing better to say. Sounds kind of weak to me. You can't defend your religion when someone questions your beliefs and points out that someone is using it for evil. Do you endorse being cruel to those who are grieving and mourning and hurting them because that is why I wrote the letter because of Rachel's actions toward someone who loved her so much that they were willing to put that aside for a minute and come all the way from another country and spend time with the person they loved? Even my mother in her last words to me on her deathbed told me to love Rachel and never give up on her 3 weeks before I went to see her and I have never let my mom or God down for that matter.  I intend to let others know how you acted because the American Pastors and Reverends that have written me back who received my letter gave their insight and scripture and that was loving and kind.  Even Reverend Glenn attempted to do so and I apologize to him if he thinks I don't appreciate his insight because I do. I just don't think he fully understood the nature or implications of Rachel's actions.  You on the other hand Pastor Cooper the assistant to the Bishop of the whole General New Church of Canada and you blow me off like you did.  That is a shame.  It is almost laughable. Just cause I don't have a theology degree doesn't mean I don't know a thing or too and it seems you are too lofty and haughty to answer me.  You didn't truly read my letter.  You sit and think you are so much better than me and I don't have time to indulge this person's heartfelt reply.  You look down on me because you think I lack the intelligence, the insight, or knowledge to have a conversation worthy of your stature.  I came to you as a Christian because I love another Christian who believes different than me and who used what you believed in to put me down thus ruining our friendship, our bond, and trying to make me stop loving her.  God's love is unconditional and we as humans should strive to be the same way.  If you believe in Christ then you believe it is right to always do what is good and that may not always be  what we think is right. Putting down others regardless of your feelings is not what is good.  It is not or ever justified.  I thought you could talk to Rachel about your theology, morals, and the exacting love of truth and purity.  That is why I contacted you and every Pastor, Reverend, and head of the New Church in the World I could.  I love Rachel Myatt and her son Jonathan that much and once again it saddens me that you felt you couldn't do more than blow me off.  You were surprised to get my letter because no one ever challenges you the way I did.  Rachel knew how strong I was and that is why she hides.  I am humble, pure of heart, and never give up on what and who I believe in.  I have dealt with friends and family that have been drug addicts, liars, thieves, and all sorts of things but in the end we are all human and I seek peace and love with Rachel Myatt.  If you can't appreciate that and you claim as a religion to be about love and God's love then you are just being hypocritical.  I wanted peace with someone who hurt me, who lied to me, who said she wanted to be with me then turned her back on me.  I have all her words to put on display but that is so petty but I showed some just to make a point.  So I will close this letter and say I am sorry Pastor James Cooper of the Olivet New Church and Day School that you think so little of others.  I had nothing but respect for you and I applaud Reverend Glenn for at least trying to use scripture and for showing some kind of interest even though we didn't see eye to eye.  You on the other hand disappoint me and your arrogance precedes you. I am sorry you didn't like or understand the message in my letter but as the head of a Church after all the time and effort I put into that and to send it out to so many people and even personalize one for you you could have shown more interest.  If you think that ignoring me and not giving me an audience or time of day will make me go away think again. I haven't given up on Rachel and its been a year so that option is out. I go against the grain and I am a leader not a follower or sheep. If you want to endorse religious bigotry yet have the people in your flock look down on others and put up your site about how you accept all religions and religion is of life fine go ahead.  Don't be a hypocrite and bigot though when I am trying to explain to you that is why I came to you not merely cause I am pissed off that a relationship didn't work out. I hope you continue to look to God for guidance and even though you don't respect me I have the highest respect for you.  I am sorry you didn't take the time to look into what was in my heart and that is true love for another human being.


B

The Day My Mother Passed Away : Open Invitation to Rachel

Dear Rachel,

Today is August 8th. It is the day that my mother passed away last year. I will never forget it. I will never forget that when it happened you were here for me and said you loved me and would be here for me.  Then a month later.... You abandoned me.  Through all my sadness you just walked away from me when I needed your love and your friendship most.  My mother wanted me to be with you and Jonathan and those were her last words to me.  So for the rest of my life I will have to remember you and how you walked away from the beautiful love that even my mother saw on her deathbed.  She never gave up on the people she loved even when things got tough. Before she died I remember being with her one night and she was on the phone she called up all the people she cared about who she had problems with and made peace with them and told them she loved them.  I didn't know she knew she was going to die I just know she always did this kind of thing.  So I am my Mother's son Rachel Myatt. Here I am extending my hand to you for peace.  I love you with all my heart and besides my friend Scott who lives in Austin.  You are my best friend and I wouldn't have stuck around this long if I didn't truly love you and Jonathan.   Please help me honor my Mother's memory and her legacy by making peace with me and realizing that I love you.  No idle threats, no more ill words or hurt to each other, no more ignoring me.  Be a woman, the strong woman I believed in, the one that I loved who said she would be there for me.  Pick up the phone, write an email, write a letter.  Make peace with me.  My heart wont rest or sleep till you do.  I can't make you do anything you don't want to do.  I can't make you love me again it will be up to you to see that my heart never left you and that I truly am in love with you and still want to be with you and Jonathan.  I will keep my promise to love you unconditionally until I pass from this earth. Whether it be two months or 20yrs I wanted you to know Rachel Myatt you were the love of my life and everything I did I did because I loved you and you deeply hurt me.  Being with you was the happiest time in my life and when you abandoned me it was the saddest time in my life because you were my dearest friend.  God Bless you today Rachel and your family the Myatts and Friesens.  If my Mom were here I know she would be proud of me for continuing to believe in you even though you hurt me. She always knew that was one of my strengths and gifts.  My gift belongs to you and Jonathan more than anyone else on this earth.  If anyone who is reading this today wants to pray for me and Rachel to find peace. I would greatly appreciate it. On September 9th it will be a year since she abandoned me about a month after my Mom died and two days after I came back from Canada from spending time with her. I have never stopped loving her and her son and they mean the world to me so your prayers would all be blessings.  Thank you.  Thanks for my Mom for always teaching me to love and never give up on those who mean something to us even if they don't see it till its almost too late.  My love for you Rachel Myatt is transcends all time, all hurt, all pain.  It is true love.

I Wonder What You are Thinking Rachel

I wonder what you are thinking Rachel.  While you slowly see how I have kept my word and that I have not backed down in almost a year.  I wonder what you think now of all the cruel words you said to me and your hateful attitude when I was looking to you for love and encouragement after my Mother's death. I wonder if you look at the letters and listen to all the cds I made you and think I really messed up? I think about that everyday.  You are the one that took down all the pictures of yourself on the internet.  I keep mine up proudly and continue to make more.  I kept all the ones of you and I up on Facebook and Myspace and I never go back there.  It hurts to much.  I truly loved you Rachel Myatt. I still love you with all my heart.  I think of all the great things you and I and Jonathan could be doing. How it could have been if you had of only given me time, patience, and been understanding of what I was going through.  Instead you weren't.  You were cruel, selfish, and inconsiderate.  I waited a lifetime to meet the woman of my dreams.  You changed that all in a second.  I will always love you Rachel Myatt.  The question is can you look deep inside your soul. Look into your heart and be able to forgive and forget and know that someone cares about you very much.  Are you ready to stop hiding? I am not going to hide.  I am not going to give up. I am not going to stop writing, stop telling my story, nor am I afraid of anything any more. I respect and love God and that is a healthy love and fear but after what you did to me my heart is empty, burned, and with very little left to give. I soldier on and give others as much love, encouragement, and help as I can everday.  I do want you to take this with you today though if you are reading this. It was a great saying that I saw awhile back and I wanted to share it with you Rachel and my readers.
 
Optimism is psychological; hope is theological. Optimism focuses on what you think you can do. Hope trusts in what God can do. -  Rick Warren

There could not be any truer words said.  The whole time I was with you I never doubted my love for you. You doubt people and situations constantly.  I put my faith in God.  You put your faith in your heart and emotions.  I would never tell someone something and not go through with it or keep my word.  You constantly go back on the things you tell people.  I never gave up on you, I never stopped loving you. You checked out on me Rachel Myatt and because I wouldn't stop loving you and give up on you and you felt guilty you lashed out at me and called me all those horrible things and put me down and even doubted that I loved God. How could you be so evil?  I just keep loving you and believing in you even as I sat there those weeks wanting to die at my lowest.  I prayed others prayed for me.  They prayed for you and they still love me and pray for both me and you.  I will never give up on hope in you Rachel Myatt I see so much love, hope, and promise. I never would have come so far or loved so much if my love wasn't rooted in God's love.  I hope soon you will be able to talk to me and we will put this behind us but until then remember this.  I WONT GIVE UP HOPE AND I WONT BACK DOWN!  You will have to make that decision on your own of how you are going to deal with that. I will still be here, I will still be loving you, still fighting, still praying, and still caring.  I love you Rachel and Jonathan Myatt.  I always will. I leave you with one of my favorite songs today about being cruel to each other as people it is a song by the band The Epoxies it is called "Toys" I hope all of you will listen to the words because for friendships, relationships, and any kind of partnership the words ring true.  Good Day and God bless.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WWN3r5lASFo

Romans 5:5
And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Best Wishes To The One I Love..........

Dear Rachel,


All I ever wanted in life was to love a good Christian woman, have children, and grow old and happy.  You were the one I wanted to do that with.  You were the song in my heart, the woman I wanted to write songs with.  I loved you and your son with everything I have.  I keep a picture of you and Jonathan by my bed and every night I pray a prayer that God let you know that I still love you and that love is unconditional.  I will never break my promise to you and I will continue to seek you back into my life.  If you haven't seen by now how much I love you then when you finally look back and do one day it will be too late.  Next Monday when I go to my Mom's burial place it will have been a year since she died.  I will sit and tell her about how you treated me, how I couldn't be more than I was at the time but that I still loved you Rachel Myatt enough to go all the way to Canada and be there with the woman I loved more than myself and her son and how you treated me.  I will cry tears.  I will be sad.  I have been sad.  The two people I loved the most are gone.  One is literally gone and the other was dead to me the day she abandoned me.  Rachel I love you with all my heart but what you did affected me greatly and though I am strong you hurt me because I truly believed in you.  I didn't deserve your cruelty, the lies, the harshness, or anything that you said or did to me.  I reacted the way I did because you killed me inside.  You wont understand until your mother dies and I know how much you love her and how close you are to her but to fault me for anything I did or didn't do was just wrong.  To say I wasn't happy, or messed up, or damaged, or sick was hateful, hurtful, and wrong.  One day you will grieve and you will feel the pain I did.  One day you will look back and see how mean and how selfish you were to me and then it will hit you how you hurt someone you loved.  I am messed up now.  Messed up from loving anyone ever again, you have had the opportunity to set me free by at least making peace with me and you deny me that.  I will never trust another woman again.  As for your religion.  While I will never disrespect another religion what I have to say is this.  Your perception of free will and how to use it for charity and good will is different from the works that I read in the Bible and the New Church and Swedenborg's writings.  You use your free will only if it is good for you not to help others or be there for others. I was willing to give up everything I had and all I had worked for just to be with you and Jonathan.  My love for you is and was that strong.  You didn't deserve my friendship, my promise, my love, or my time.  All I have to say in the end is Best Wishes.  I hope one day you realize how much you truly hurt people with your selfishness, pride, and not being able to keep your word.
 
Ecclesiastes 7:8
The end of a matter is better than its beginning, and patience is better than pride.

Who Trusted God was Love indeed, and love Creation's final law tho' Nature, red in tooth and claw with ravine, shriek'd against his creed  - Alfred, Lord Tennyson

A Promise to Rachel of Unconditional Love, The Lords Prayer, Peace, and a True Love

Dear Rachel and My dear Readers,


My dearest Rachel on Monday August 8th it will have been a year since my mother passed away. She gave me her blessing to love you and to never give up on you no matter what happens. If you truly love someone then even when things seem bleak you stand your ground and believe.  That being said my love for you is not only in honor of my loving mother but to you as my sister in Christ, my dearest friend, and a testament to how much I love you though Gods love.  Nobody here thinks I am crazy in the persistence and love I have had in trying to get you to realize.  You can tell your Reverend Glenn, your family, and anyone else all the mistruths you want about me but deep in your heart I did nothing but love you and be faithful to you as the words from you email were submitted in the blog preceding this one.  My mother was a good Christian woman and she never gave up on those people who persecuted her, put her down, or made her look small.  Each day I continue to love you even though you ignore me and know that you cause me pain is another day that I grow stronger in the Lord's love and in my mothers footsteps which were always to walk in the way of the Lord.  We are all imperfect and we all stumble but the most humble things we can do is forgive and make peace with people.  I asked you for those things for almost a year it will be September 9th .  So once again this is an open letter to anyone who reads this blog to pray for Rachel and I to find reconciliation and peace.  Rachel you are my dearest friend and I hold you as family in my heart.  I leave you with these two last thing.


1.  The only thing I want for Christmas is peace with you this year.  I know it is only August but to all my friends, family, and readers who read this.  I never ask for material things.  Say a little prayer that Byron and Rachel make peace and I will appreciate your prayers.  That is the kindest thing anyone could ever do for me.  The gift of love is all I have wanted all my life and Rachel didn't understand how much she hurt me when she played with the only thing I wanted which was to be a family with her and Jonathan.


2. I leave you all with the Lord's Prayer.  I hope you look to God for spiritual guidance both in times of good and bad.  Never give up on what you believe in and always trust in HIM.  Thank you and God Bless.

  The Lords Prayer

 Matthew 6:9-13

⁹ Pray then like this:

  "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. ¹⁰ Your kingdom come, your will be done,
    on earth as it is in heaven.

¹¹ Give us this day our daily bread, ¹²and forgive us our debts,
   as we also have forgiven our debtors.

¹³And lead us not into temptation,
   but deliver us from evil.

 I will continue to love you Rachel and Jonathan till the day when your heart opens to me and you and I can speak again. I love you unconditionally from the deepest regions of my heart and I will continue to till the day I fall asleep in death from this earth. 

This is a song called "Two Kinds of Right" by my friend Patience and her friends the Australian band "The Grates" it has a beautiful message and I dedicate it to Rachel and to anyone who reads this who loves someone who they have had a falling out with and wants to make peace and sense of things.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4xLOLZeopTI

The Lost Meaning of A True Friend.

Rachel was someone I called best friend. That is something that is few and far between these days.  I showed her honesty, compassion, fidelity, passion, truth, and most of all unconditional love.  I would like to share with everyone some words she shared with me from an email and how easy people can break their words and promises.  I will never love anyone again because I was treated like this and lied to especially after I was mourning the loss of my mother.  No one should ever say words like these then walk away from someone who has done nothing but love them and desire to be with them with all their heart and soul like I loved and wanted to be like Rachel. 

Below are the contents of that email.

I love you because you love God and look to Him for guidance

I love you because you know yourself, know what you want and you give 100% to achieve it

I love you because you desire a family and you dream of it being with me

I love you because you want to love my son as your own

I love you because you get my sense of humor and make me laugh in return

I love that you feel free to be open with me and let me see all aspects of your personality

I love you for being able to dream and that you share your dreams with me

I love you for being willing to learn and willing to try and accept me and my religion

I love you for your thirst of knowledge and eagerness to learn

I love you for your big heart full of love and compassion

I love you for your fearlessness to put everything you've worked for in Texas behind you just to be with me in Dawson Creek

I love you because you are deserving of love and want it to be my love

I love you because you are a great guy.

I love you because you love me and believe in me

I love you for your patience and kindness, your devotion and your seriousness

I love you for your yearning for play and fun, your child like attitude.

I love your passionate nature and your powerful emotion.

Dude, I just plain love you.

Thank you for loving me, believing in me and trusting me with your heart. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_94J5fttVnk



My heart is eternally wounded and broken because I loved her with all my heart. I wish you would take a second look Rachel at how much I loved you and how I showed you a love like no other.  Instead you pushed and turned me away.  I will never trust anyone again after being lied to and abandoned by someone who would say those things.


Dear Rachel and Dear Readers.  The Story Shall be Told to All

Rachel you were my sister, my dear friend, and the last woman I will ever love.
I am in too much pain because you continue to ignore me and my asking of your forgiveness so I shall tell my story for the rest of my days.  I loved you with the purest heart.  I wish you and your family well and many blessings even if you can't wish me the same and want me to be happy too.

Leviticus 19:18
“‘Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against anyone among your people, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the LORD.