Happy New Year Rachel!/Second Chance

Dearest Rachel,

I have no idea what you are doing,  where you are, who you are with and what has been going on in your mind all this time but I do love you. I know so much more than you think. When God gives you a love like I have for you then it is the strongest kind that could ever exist. Tomorrow is the first day of my New Church Project.  I wont tell you much but that it is letters and they will be distributed to places undisclosed to you or the  New Church. Each day I will do the same thing.  I am also fasting for the next 30 days in hopes that we will still find peace. It is a symbol of discipline and the love I have for you. I would really love to hear your voice and for us to end all this but it is your choice to be reluctant and miss out on true love and friendship. If I hated you and didnt truly love you I wouldn't give you the time a day. I spend at least 30 minutes or an hour a day writing my blog  to you. You never appreciated my love Rachel Myatt. You think it is your right to treat everyone cruel and at your disposal but now that I have done the things I have done and not backed down you have learned otherwise.  You can't do things without thinking I will be looking for you. Don't flatter yourself. I love you but I don't sit on the computer for hours looking up information on you. That is for someone with no life and who is a stalker. My blog is because I love you and truly want peace with you. My videos are symbol of my hurt but that I still love you. I love Jonathan just as much and I would never put up pictures of a child that wasn't mine unless the pictures were mine and that person was special to me. He is so important to me as are you.  You can continue to hide Rachel because I am out in the open now. I am out to your Church in the U.S. and  Canada. They know my name and they know of how I feel. I have told them how I felt and what I am going to do and I have free will and the right to do it.  How I do it is the question and what I end up doing will affect you, the Church, and your family. I am a peaceful person. I am a Christian Anarchist which means do or believe whatever you want as long as you dont hurt others or impose your beliefs on them You chose to hurt me Rachel with your self righteousness nd arrogance. I accepted your beliefs and you spit on me by not even being able to pray with me.  You pretended to love me and want to be in a relationship with me and then all of the sudden try to cut ties with me and then use your Religion to justify the evil that you did.  You know why all this is happening Rachel? You are not a very nice person.  I love you but you do not have humility, you are kind to certain kinds of people and then the other people you dont give a chance.  You treat men disrespectful. After all I went through and did to get to you Rachel and you just abandon me and slander me and here I am still seeking peace with you.  What kind of Christian are you? I am not going to rant on this too much I just wanted to wish you a Happy 2012 and I love you and Jonathan dearly but I am not going to hold back as of 12am. I have to press forward in my revolution and kindness toward you and soon people everywhere both New Church and others will know the story and know how much I truly love you.  When you tried to get rid of me the saddest thing you did is forget about all the pictures and all the emails we shared.  They are the defining moment in my campaign because they show the truth in what I am saying and show how you mislead and played with me in wanting true love and a family.  I am extending my olive branch to you this first day of the new year Rachel Myatt. I said a prayer. I am having my first meal of my fasting which is unleavend bread and blackeyed peas for good luck.  I don't need luck though because I have God and He is the greatest love and game changer anyone could have on their side. I want you and Jonathan back in my life that is your choice to keep ignoring all the love, the letters, the concern by your fellow New Church members and everything.  I am through trying to prove anything to you I am just going to do what I said I am and you will have to deal with the consequences and how they apply to your life. After all this that has happened between us I still love you. I gave you so many chances and never gave up on you. Why cant you give me this one chance and make peace with me.  You Decide!

God Bless All

Happy New Year!

Beacon Of Hope, New Year, A Love of True Uncondtionality

Dear Rachel and Readers,

I am just going to say that it has been over a year. I still love and care for Rachel and Jonathan Myatt with all my heart. She can continue to ignore me but I cannot ignore what God has put in my soul.  There are two kinds of people in this world the kind that give up in defeat and the kind that never give up.  While I could have looked at the glass half empty I look at it half full always. Rachel always doubted my love for her and I never doubted the love I had for her and that she had for me. She was never sure of herself on things and I was always sure. I could have blown her off the first time I had to hang up on her but I didn't I continued to love her unconditionally and just believe in her. I wish she would give me that same love and respect.  So what I want to say in this short blog today is that in the New Year 2012. I am not going to give up on her. I am already making plans to love her stronger, harder, and bigger.  I am writing more, I am singing my songs and I am sharing my story.  I want to make peace with her and with God nothing is impossible. So Rachel if you are reading. I am not going anywhere. In the next couple of weeks my love for you and Jonathan will be a beacon of hope and it will be all over the place.  It is up to you how you react. You can step into the light or you can continue to hide in the darkness.  You know what a good man I am and how much I truly love you. Why do you hide and let others shape your view of what you know to be true? I am not afraid of you. I am not afraid of the love I have for you.   God has lifted my heart to a place so full of love, forgiveness, and kindness that you will have to take note. Anyways I hope your New Year is great and I love you  Rachel Myatt. At Midnight I wish it was your lips I was kissing tonight because after the airport that day I never kissed another woman. I love you so much and I pray 2012 is the end of this and you will return to my heart. I want to leave you with a song called "How Much Love?" by Vixen to let you know how much I loved you and would go through for us to be at peace and in each others lives again. I truly care for you and Jonathan with all my heart. Please stop running this is true love from God. I am not obssesed with you. I don't want to hurt you. I have to keep trying no matter what Rachel. This is for you and Jonathan. Please let me in I will never leave you and never have.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XPV7AUU1b8c&feature=related


God Bless All

Anyone Who Tries to Put You Down Is Lost/ Fasting

Dear Rachel and Readers,

I wanted to share this small video from Smallville season 10. I wanted to let Rachel know how much she and Jonathan meant to me after losing my mother and how her being cruel to me instead of loving me has left me empty and broken.  Maybe watching this will let her know what she has truly done to the love I have for her and other people. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=54mAzbAj6oE  I was willing to let my mom go she gave me her blessing to be with Rachel and Rachel abandoned me and then put me down. Coincidentally that episode of Smallville was called "Abandoned" My mom left me weith the greatest gift of all. She loved and believed in me and she never gave up on the people she loved even if they hurt her or she hurt them. I have that gift Rachel for you and you have never been a burden to me even in all this pain I love you whole souled, completely, and truthfully. It many not seem so sometimes with the words I write but I do. I love you with all my heart and I wish you and your family would realize that. I am hurting so much and if she only knew how much making peace with me meant then she would pick up the phone and call.

I will continue to live by example and not resistence. I will continue to love you and wish you well and care for you even if you turn a blind eye. I will continue to believe in you even if you dont believe in me. I will continue to think the world of you even if you think so little of me.  I always saw you as my equal Rachel Myatt. I only wanted to walk beside you. Not in front of you or behind you.  I love you and Jonathan more than my own life. It is up to you to see my strength, my determination, and the true love I have for you.  I still believe that you will.



People who are insecure and who don't know their true worth or are afraid to become the person who truly are will put others down. Please know this dear Readers, "Anyone Who Tries to Put You Down is Lost" dont let others define the beautiful person you are. I realize now why Rachel said and did the things to me. She was afraid of  what other people thought of  me and didn't think she deserved a love as true and as faithful as mine because of what happened with other men.  I could regale you with emails of how she said she valued my strength and courage but it would be time consuming and petty.  It will all come out in time in the book.  Rachel thought she could just treat me like dirt walk away and both out lives would go back to normal.  I would forget and get over it and she could do whatever she wants and continue to treat other people disrespectful.  First of all I believed in you and trusted you Rachel Myatt.  You want to know why this is happening to you? It is because of how you treat others. Treat people how you want to be treated.  Had you treated me with respect, kindness, and compassion things would be different.  You treated me with disregard, disrespect, cruelty, and one of the most selfish and self centered attitudes I have ever seen displayed.  Now you can't cover your tracks and you have been exposed to so many people and your situation has been brought out in the open there is nothing you can do.   You brought this on yourself.   You involved your family, your church, me, my family, and friends.  So many people got into this Rachel and why? It is because you are unkind and selfish.  All I ever thought about was loving and giving to you and Jonathan. 2000 miles away I continued a relationship with someone who truly knew I loved her and even when she doubted me and I should have cursed you and went about my way I loved you and believed in you.  All you do is doubt other peoples love and their abilities and gifts in the Lord. I know my gift in the Lord and its loving people Uncondtionally.  Plain and simple no matter how much you ignore me, throw stones, or hurt me I have God's love and that love is above all others.  It is the love of true forgiveness.  It is the love of kindness, long suffering, and compassion.  It is a love that against all odds still exist when hate, bigotry, hurt, and disrespect have been thrown at you by the  Devil,  Love always wins.  God's love.  I don't know what the New Church thinks of what I am doing and frankly I dont care.  I am peaceful man and I have to spread my message around and they will remember when you turn people away, treat them cruel, and hurt people that are grieving and put them down that is not of Christ. It is not loving and the Human God that they embody seems to be themselves if they adhere to the doctrine of hatred and cruelty that Rachel Myatt learned in the Dawson Creek , New Church of British Columbia.  I had nothing for love but Rachel Myatt, her family, The New Church and its Clergy.   Instead of embrace a person that was hurting and show Rachel that using your doctrine for evil and to hurt people is not of Christ they defended her actions of evil against me and even taught of a sort evil that was acceptable "The Lesser Evil".   I am sorry that it has come to this.  Starting January 1st I will begin my revolution. It will be in different parts of the U.S and some will be worldwide.  The New Church and Rachel will have no idea what I am doing and where I will do it. I am just going to spread the word about both my story and the way that Church reacted.  This is all because Rachel was cruel, doubted my true love, put me down in my love for her and for God, and lied to me.  She is getting what she deserves not in revenge but in me showing her I truly love her.  Most of all this is for my mom who loved Rachel and wanted to meet her and Jonathan so bad before she died. Rachel you disrespected my mom and all you would have to do is pick up the phone and say sorry but you are too stubborn and too full of pride to do that. So I will spread my story in words and pictures even more.  My youtube page will shortly contain clips of my Revolution towards the New Church. When I say Revolution I mean peaceful and kind.  I do not wish to harm others and I will only tell the truth from the correspondence and true events that happened between the New Church, Rachel Myatt, and Myself.  So in honor of that I end this blog with a short explanation of how I will commeorate my accent into this much needed action.

_________________________________________________________________________________
Fasting for Peace with Rachel.

Starting January 1st I will fast for the entire month of January.  I will have one small meal a day and then discipline myself for the duration.  I am doing this as a symbol of my love for Rachel Myatt and the New Church.  I am already a vegetarian and a very disciplined eater. I do not require much a day. I will use the time that I am hungry to focus on Prayer, mediation, and loving others. I will take on volunteer work,  I will let people around the world know how much I love Rachel. I will spend time with people who need help whether it be reading to children with terminal diseases or helping out a shelter.  Rachel Myatt my heart truly loves you and I want to show you that I would do anything for you.  If you want to pretend I don't exist. If you wanted to let your family or others convince you that I wasn't right for you and run from true love that is fine. I have had it happen before and those people eventually realized how wrong they were.  I forgave them for their cruelty and moved on. Some of them I am friends with some of them damaged our chances of friendship and reconcilation so bad that they realized they could never show their face to me again.  I love you more than anyone on this earth and am trying to show you a love like no other.  When someone truly loves you they will do anything but it seems like I would have to pay for a billboard in Dawson Creek , British Columbia before you understand that I am the real deal. I care about you and I am not some crazy obssesed person.  If you think that other people dont want to date me and I am not a viable option for girls then you are dead wrong.  When you abandoned me so many women were there to comfort me but I didn't want comfort all I wanted was love. I have never wanted anything but a family and love and you played with that dream and pretended to want that with me.  That is why all this is happening so that you will not ever play with someones dream or lie to them again.  I dare anyone to call me out or judge me for being treated so cruely.  No one will. Not your family, not the New Church, not anyone because you know what you did was deeply wrong and hurt another soul.  All I can say is that I love you.  So anyone that is reading this will know I love Rachel and Jonathan Myatt and I am about to spread that love on a whole different level.  I wait for her return and us to make peace. 


I loved Rachel Myatt with the truest of heart and I still do. My love for her was not about her looks or anything superficial. It was not about a physical relationship or sex. It was about loving her heart, her spirit, mind, and body.  I sent this song to Rachel when we first started dating. I used it years ago in an English class in college I took called Southern Womens Fiction we read books like Fried Green Tomatoes, The Color Purple,  The Heart is A Lonely Hunter, and Their Eyes Were Watching God.  My Professor Dr. Price she inspired me in my love for women and she told me how much love and talent I had.  I always sat at the back of the class and never bothered anyone. The class was mostly women with 3 men including me. When I gave my first presentation I used this song written by Ray Cappo of the band Shelter at the time.  I understand love on a deep and otherwordly level and if Rachel had of taken the time with me while I was grieving instead of say all the hurtful things she did and put me down saying I was sad and damaged nothing that is happening now would be happening.  I leave you dear Rachel and Readers with this beautiful song "Here We Go" By Shelter about relationship and love between men and women. This song shaped the love I had as a young man for women and because of it I chose to seek true love not promiscuity and selfish desire but to share my body, love, heart, and spirit with someone I truly loved I shared all those with Rachel and she treated all of it with disrespect and unkindess. I truly and deeply love Rachel Myatt for all that she is and that will never change.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FOUOtWZrn8 
here are the Lyrics

Here We Go By Shelter
Just he uses love for sex
And sure she uses sex for love
And they're both hoping for the best
I also have that dream you're thinking of
If we place a blindfold on our eyes
Iron and gold appear the same
It's intense hope that makes us try
So we go on and play the game
And once again we get attached
And think we've found the answer
Here we go again
Ran into many walls
But I know I'll get that answer
Here we go again
We loved not wisely but to well...
We're hoping (s)he will be the one
But we never learn from our mistakes
And bassed on beauty love soon dies
Then we make our move to separate
Yes iron and gold appear the same
But one is costly to obtain
And I'll be the only onle blame
If I resist I know I'll gain
God Bless All

Learning to Let Go of Bigotry, Resentment, Prejudice, and Pride.

Dear Rachel and Readers,

I wish that whatever it is that stops you from making peace with me and whatever insecurities and doubts you had about me they would not keep you from the love I know that you have in your heart.  I only came to you and loved you because I loved you beneath your tough exterior I loved and still love you for all you are.  You can ignore me, you can pretend that this doesn't touch your heart but I know that it does. I know this blog does affect you. I know your Church has been concerned and if you or they think that I have just been bluffing or trying to pull the wool over your eyes then you only look at the youtube videos and how I took time out of my life for over half a year to blog about you. I could let you go and just walk away but I would be betraying my heart and God's love that He gave me for you and Jonathan. This is bigger than me and you Rachel and its can shape the future for both of us. I want anyone reading to know that I love Rachel Myatt with all my heart. I have the utmost respect for the Church of the New Jerusalem as their Pastor should find out in the next day or so.  I give everyday of my life and love to the fullest but Rachel and Jonathan Myatt were the people I loved with all my heart and all my life.  However extreme and dramatic that may sound to some I miss them everyday and it seems like a piece of me is missing. Rachel I am calling on you and the Church for an end to this pain and hurt. I want harmony between us.  You truly hurt me with all the cruel things you said and the way you treated me when you said you loved me and wanted to be with me. I needed support and true love and friendship not a person calling me crazy and tearing me down because I was a little under the weather. I hope when your parents pass on you will never know the hurt of having someone ridicule and put you down for grieving.  It was not very pleasant for you to treat me less than a person.  I want to leave both you Rachel and the Church  of the New Jerusalem a video of one of my favorite songs today. It is about accepting others and what happens when we treat others differently.  You will never know how much you damaged and hurt my soul Rachel but I am also strong and everything I said I would do I  have done in return or I am doing but I am doing it with love not with intent to get revenge or hurt your character or embarass you. I am sorry you are ashamed and embarrased with me. I thought that you truly cared and loved me and would be proud to be by my side. I was proud to be with you and Jonathan and I never loved any two people as much as I love you. So I leave you with this video by Pennywise. Listen to the words because they are about being judgmental, hateful, and treating people who are different than us cruel.  It is called "Anyone Listening" I hope that anyone who reads this blog today and who loves their fellow man understands where I am coming from and anyone in the New Church who has thought ill about me and has condoned Rachel's actions on the merit of free will may think about my free will. I could have chose to be hateful and retaliate with a great amount of animosity and get revenge. Instead I used the internet, the power of the spoken word, type and print to show my anger, my love, and my intent.  It seems for the sake of selfish free will that you would rather people hate and never reconcile and forgive each other Church of the New Jerusalem.  You would rather the evil and resentment fester inside until one person finally seeks revenge.  That is what I have felt like you want.  If you want a PR disaster on your hands then that is fine. I am ready to start the revolution.  I would rather make peace with Rachel Myatt and end all this though.


Rachel Myatt I need you to know this. I was and am willing to risk it all to show you that I love you and Jonathan. I spent my whole life being judged, rejected, put down, hurt , and abused but when I met you none of that mattered. It still doesnt. I dont care what your parents think of me, your Church, or anyone that reads this blog all I know is that I was called to love you and I will stand by that. It was always about you and Jonathan and when you love someone that much you dont minde making a fool out of yourself, going to the ends of the earth, or putting your life on the line.  You thought I wanted to die so that I could manipulate you into staying with me, you were wrong. I wanted to die because the love I have for you made me feel like I was truly loved and  alive. It was everything God wanted me to be and still does and being there with you and Jonathan changed me in ways I could never explain. No, Rachel a part of me died when you went away.  I am willing to fight, to shout it out loud, and face any obstacle in the world to let you know I love you and Jonathan and that is what I am doing. I wish you and your family would get that. I love you, I love you, I love you Rachel.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g36AR2apOLA


Anyone Listening By Pennywise
Far below beneath a burning hot sun, our civility's waking up,
hate your neighbor cause he's not your kind, fell out of favor,
now he's out of luck, get in your car, fuel up and get a job,
you got no worries, you don't care that much,
pass the beggars as they lie out on the street,
just look away and roll your windows up, you don't have to worry,
he's not one of us, yeah!


Is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
don't care much, you'd rather kill

Check out Johnny as he plays out in the street, keeps to himself,
he doesn't say too much, can't get along with the kids in school,
likes to make bombs and blow things up,
his mom and dad think everything's fine,
they got no worries, they don't care that much,
all that tension bottled up inside, one day soon now he's gonna erupt,
you don't have to worry, he's not one of us, yeah,

is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
don't care much, you'd rather kill

And I settled it, it was close as one inch and I saw everything,
all men is good and all men is evil, hope to forget the chime,
I laid back for generous efforts,
good will and bold evil to lurch back in time,
then can reality settle it all forever now,
I saw the rebellion challenge it,
it was something wrong and then I marched towards the authority
and I say it never exists in here,

is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
don't care much, you'd rather kill
God Bless All

Dawson Creek Church of the New Jerusalem (Memorandum)

Dear Members of the Dawson Creek Church of the New Jerusalem,

I will always have nothing but the utmost respect for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  I loved one of your fold with the purest most endearing love I have ever been handed. I am writing this blog as both a love letter and a precursor to you.  I do love your sister Rachel Myatt very much. In the past year I have written, said, and did a lot of things that may have seemed harsh and hurtful and that has never been my intention.  Rachel is the one person who captivated my soul to truly love someone. I love her and her son Jonathan like I have never loved anyone before.  I came to her at a time in my life where things were falling apart.  I lost a parent, my mother and when Rachel said she loved me and wanted to be there for me I believed her.  I always thought of Rachel as being one of the most loving, caring, and beautiful people I had ever met.  Instead of showing me that side she abandoned me, showed me disrespect, hatefulness, cursed me to my face, and treated me like an enemy. This was all after telling me how much she loved me and wanted to continue our relationship. I felt betrayed, broken, and very saddened as God had led me to Rachel after having many other women who wanted me in their lives. I was led to Rachel because of her love of God but instead of share her love of God with me she constantly put down the way I believed and I loved God and that was very disheartening when all I ever strived to do was be one with her.  I gave Rachel a true friendship, courtship, and a love that transcends all heaven and earth. I still believe in her to this day.  You can feel however you want towards me I don't care.  I know that God has guided me on a path to keep loving Rachel and Jonathan and to go worldwide telling a story of that love so that she will see that she truly hurt someone that needed her, loved her, and would have done anything for Jonathan and herself.  I wanted you to know that my mother who passed on didn't want me to stay and watch her die she gave me her permission to go see Rachel and Jonathan and live my life and be with her.  I stayed until she passed away though and Rachel and Amanda Myatt both were there in spirit with me I still have the text in my old phone and in my SD memory card. I love Rachel with all my heart and I know that a lot of the Dawson Creek New Church is related to her.  It was my dream to one day meet you all know you and love you. I went through so many obstacles to love Rachel and it seemed she never appreciated it. She complained no one wanted to accept her faith. There I was open hearted and open minded wanting to be with her in the Lord. I was faithful to her even though I was lonely I hadn't had real girlfriend for 5 years because my former one died of a brain tumor.  Suddenly God had given me a choice and I chose Rachel because of what I thought was a pure love for God and other people.  The reason I am writing this letter and blog today is because I wanted you to know that in the coming weeks I will be making videos on youtube, printing materials, and just letting Rachel know I love her worldwide.  I mean no disrespect to the Church but I have to do this and mention the Church in order to tell my story correctly and accurately.  I want to commend your wonderful Pastor Glenn he has been a great help during this whole ordeal.  I have come to him with many questions and at time it seems like I was attacking him and it was never the case. I just wanted him to question and justify his believes to how Rachel lives her life.  I have only wanted peace between Rachel and I and I have made many attempts at this. It is she who declines.   You can only hide from the evil you do for so long dear Church and when someone loves you as much as I love Rachel then love wins over the evil. Rachel chose to treat me evil and be hurtful. She chose to be selfish, say things against me and my deceased mother, call me damaged, broken, and sick when I was grieving. That is not loving and that is not Christian.  At first I wanted revenge on her but I chose to get her back another way figuratively speaking.  I chose love. I have written letters to New Churches worldwide. This blog has many forms not just this one. It is posted up on message board worldwide. I get lots of people telling me how they are inspired that I don't hate her and seek to forgive and seek forgiveness and reconcilation. Rachel Myatt was my best friend and I hope that she realizes that she is missing out on a true friend and she is also being an example for the New Church especially Dawson Creek worldwide.  She can change this all by extending her hand in a phone call or gesture of good will. If not I am not a person to just lie back and give up. I have felt like that at times like when she abandoned me but God lifted me to a place so full of love and determination it will be like letting him down if I give up on Rachel now.  I pray for Rachel and Jonathan each night and I sometimes post those prayers on here.  I asked for no material things for Christmas but for people to pray that Rachel and I find peace. I even extended my heart and hand for Rachel to call me and make peace with me on Christmas.  I am saddened that I never heard from her. Still I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, His Love, His Promise, and His Grace. I could do so many things to hurt Rachel but I will not try to do that. I am just going to wish her well. Kill her with kindness and continue to reach out to her even if she wants to ignore me. You know who knows how much I love her and who sees in my heart the true love I have for her?  God and that is all that matters. People can make fun of me, put me down, call me obsessed, or listen to Rachel tell stories that are mean and unkind about me. I heard it all before. Fact is I love her and Jonathan like my own flesh and she was the one I would have given my life for, her and her son.  She is the one missing out on true friendship and love and in the process she is representing your Church's values, belief system, and morals.  I believe in honesty, truth, kindness, integrity, and understanding. Rachel showed me none of those in the end. So before you judge me or chastise me for what I am doing, just remember. Rachel had the chance to do things right. She could have been kind, we could have talked, we could have done things amicably but she chose to be hateful, disrespectful, and selfish. I am and have been serious about all I have said I am doing and I will not back down from my word. I also made Rachel a promise through God that I will love her unconditionally and through this I have to keep loving her and keep that promise to God. Rachel is the kind of person who doesn't face problems and fears head on. I am the kind of person who puts them out in the open and deals with them.  I embrace my destiny and face it head on. When you hide from the evil you have done you only give it way to let guilt or other feelings consume you. You let others know that you are a prisoner to that which you have done. Pride, Vanity, and Darkness in one's heart do not make one a beacon of hope. Humility, Kindness, and Long Suffering are more endearing and beautiful expressions of love. I hope she will finally open her eyes to the importance of making peace with me. I will be patient, loving, and kind but I also will be stern and steadfast.  I will just take the time to say thank you for reading my blog.  I sent Pastor Glenn a blessing for you all because even though I don't know you I love you all because of my love for Rachel that love extends to you because even if she is distant she is still my sister in Christ and that makes you my brothers and sisters also.  I wish you all well. 

This song is  Dedicated to Rachel and Jonathan Myatt and To my Mother. I miss you all without you and Jonathan in my life Rachel its like having you dead like my mother. I can still make things right with you in this mortal realm and I want to. You hurt me everyday you ignore me and deny us the peace and beautiful friendship we could have if you would just forgive and let go. Id give anything for One more day to let you know you mean the world to me!
One More Day By Vast : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQldouWu2PQ

Power of the Pen and the Spoken Word(My Story Being Printed Worldwide)

Dear Rachel and the Church of the New Jerusalem,

I had nothing but love for you all.  I tried to make peace with Ms. Rachel Myatt. I loved her, I gave her my trust, my heart, a true courtship and friendship.  In the end I was slandered, treated with bigotry, and disrespect to not ony my love of God but my family.  I in turn wanted nothing but to share my love and Rachel's love of God with her.  I loved and still love her family. I have nothing but respect for the Pastor of her Church even if he doesn't fully understand the love I have for Rachel.  I am a peaceful man. I have spent my life proving the old adage "The Pen is Mighter Than the Sword" The written and spoken word can cut just as sharp as a knife or pierce through flesh like bullets. In my case Rachel's cruelty of disrespecting my dead mother changed me for life. Her cruelty to me as her boyfriend in abandoning me and calling me sick, damaged, and unstable at a time when I was grieving was very uncaring, it was heartless, and UnChristian in the most extreme way.  I never doubted her love for God but she always doubted mine. Here I stand almost 200 blogs later, numerous letters to the New Church all over the world.  A man willing to stand up against a whole Church and Organization because I believed in her and love her and her son Jonathan.  Neither the New Church nor Rachel get it. I am full of love. If I had truly wanted to ruin Rachel's reputation and seek revenge on her it could have been done last October in one swift and just stroke. I wont reveal the way I would have done it but it would have been devastating to her. Instead I went to Pastor Coleman Glenn out of love for Rachel and confronted him about the New Church teachings.  In that time I had the opportunity to read the Writings and reflect on Swedenborg's theology. I will say that I was and never was opposed to worshipping with Rachel it is she who turned me away and I also felt that way at the time by Pastor Glenn but he has since proven himself worthy of my respect.  I cannot sit back and lie about what I have been through and I cannot take it out on the whole organization of the Church of the New Jerusalem. I am however going to still share my story with others worldwide and to people of other religions.  I want Rachel to know that you can't slander people, disrespect their families, and doubt both their love for God and for you and there not be consequences.  She was my best friend. I love Rachel with all my heart but she has mistreated so many people in her life and until she learns to respect others, truly forgive, and to love people outside her family without hurting them then she will never truly appreciate her spiritual journey.  I have been called to do this because God loves me and He knows I love Rachel. He loves Rachel very much and He is trying to show her in me that there are people that truly love her and will stand by her that will love her unconditionally and be true to her. Maybe some of you have read my blog and while many parts have been angry for the most part this blog is about how I love her and Jonathan.  If you have not had a chance to check out my youtube videos please click on one of them to the side.  While I do tell of Rachel disrespecting me the point is the same I do love her and Jonathan with all my heart.  I am not doing this to discredit the Church of the New Jerusalem nor do I do what I am doing to hurt, show hate, or bigotry. I do what I do because it was shown to me and I would like what could be a more mainstream teaching to heal and be more viable to others.  I mean what great examples of New Church members exist to show this expression of Gods love as Dr Oz. , Reverend Micheal Gladish, and Chuck Blair. Those are people who show a loving attitude and respect people of other faiths and do not judge but seek to enlighten others.  So anyone who thinks I am out to get the New Church and want some sick revenge on Rachel Myatt then you have missed the point. I wish one of the Pastors such as Pastor Lindrooth or someone who is involved with the New Church Outreach would initiate a sit down with Rachel and I. I tried to make peace with Rachel and even was willing to spend $1000 dollars to come out just for one day to Dawson Creek from Texas to sit down with the Pastor of her Church and make peace with her. She declined.  I am not the one holding the hate and hurt in my heart. I have forgiven myself for the things I said after the wrong was done to me.  I love Rachel Myatt and her son with every fiber and being in my heart and if she truly were of the loving soul that Swedenborg talks about she would see that and make peace with me.  If you haven't read the past couple of my blogs please do all I wanted for Christmas was peace with her.  I asked everyone to pray for myself and Rachel to make peace and reconcile.  Dear Readers and Rachel you must understand that the love I have for Rachel transcends all time and space and it is not about a romantic relationship. Girlfriends come and go, spouses cheat hurt us, people lie and hurt one another but the power of God's love conquers all and that is what this blog, The Letters to Rachel Campaign, and the upcoming story I am going to tell on youtube and in print is going to tell.  It is not I hate Rachel Myatt and I want bad to come to her. It is Rachel hurt me, belittled me, and damaged my soul and I still love her and want peace with her.  I am saddened that people in the New Church do not understand that love and cannot fathom where I am coming from.  I believe in true forgiveness the kind Christ would enact not just saying I am sorry but holding your hand out and saying I love you and we have spent so much time fighting and hurting each other lets put that behind us and be good to each other and rekindle our friendship and the love we have for one another. Rachel Myatt if you are reading this.  I love you with all my heart and this is and never will be about hurting you.  It is because I love you more than any other person in this world.  I love you and Jonathan both immensely and I have an empty place in my heart without you. For the rest of your life know if you continue to ignore me you have damaged my love so deeply that it may never recover. I just wanted you to know today how much you and Jonathan mean to me.


I use this scripture a lot but it always rings true. I love you Rachel Myatt and I would go to the ends of the earth to make peace with you and for you to love me again and know I am not your enemy. Until that day I will continue to love you. Continue to write. Continue to put God first and no matter what happens I wont give up on His Promise and I wont be drawn to hate or wish evil upon you.
1 Corinthians 13:4
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.
God Bless All

Goodnight I love you Rachel

I just wanted to tell you I love you Rachel Myatt

Lord Jesus Christ,
Please watch over Rachel and Jonathan tonight and keep them safe and protect them with your love and kindness.  Please let them know I love them and that I want peace with Rachel.  O Lord please let Rachel know she is loved beyond compare by you and that the reason I am still here is because I love her with all my heart though your love.  I ask that you bring her and Jonathan back into my life and that you give me strength to believe in her, not do her harm or evil, and that you let my love consistantly flow till she understands that I am not her enemy but one of her closest and dearest friends.  I ask all this in your name Dear Lord.

Amen

I love you Rachel and Jonathan Myatt

I Love You Rachel and Jonathan.

I just wanted to say I love you and Jonathan. I am sorry you cant find it in your heart to make peace with me and forgive.  I can never forget the things you did and said but I am adult enough to move on and still love you and call you friend and sister. I wish you had the courage and the love in your heart to do the same with me. I believed in you and Jonathan so much and it is sad that after all this time you still act the same. I always hoped that we could laugh about this and put it all behind us and be in each others lives again but you want to continue to treat me like I dont exist.  I only have my story to tell now and I will start on a grand scale today.

God Bless

The Last Violins / Coming to terms with someone elses selfishness

I wrote this in February of 2010 shortly after Rachel Myatt came into my life.

The Last Violins

Everyday I take the stage and perform the best show I can
The curtain calls the lights go on and here I stand a broken man
They don't seem to understand looking in from the crowd
I never wanted more than love and it seems so distant now
Finally the music plays the only friend I have
I hear the strings in the distance and the voices start to pass
Honesty the best policy but that will only bring you heartache
The best of friends is what I am but that is all I have to give
I thought I was put on earth to become so much more
A solemn shell of discontent because I'm standing with my foot in the door
She will never see me,  Neither will she care
I'm just another collected prize to pass the time when he is not there
I listen to her stories,  I listen to her pain,  I listen to music dreaming of she and I dancing in the rain
I long ago gave up on such enchantments 5 years left till I am too damn old
To recognize those teenage dreams of being with someone to hold
The friend in need, the friend with deeds, second class human being for hire
I have a spark,  I have a heart, but no one wants to ignite the fire
I want to live the good life, where I am wanted, loved, and adored
It seems I get the wrong attention I'm just a fairweather friends whore
An alternative for lonely nights when others have nothing to do
Here I sit with a flashing screen, a book, a pen, and solace in this lonely room
I used to know desolation, depression, and despair
Now I know what it feels like to be seen but not be there
She tried to apologize the other day 6 months after the fact
I loved you but I said I'm sorry and that I could never want that friendship back
When will they learn I am a simple man.  I just wanted to be loved
I don't want to be your alternative,  I don't want to be your quick fix or drug
For most of you I would do anything but you wouldn't move an inch for me
Women can't see the insides of me they make a spectacle of the outside first
If I were a gambling man I bet they will never take the time to see past
The fact that I am wonderful, incredible, and full of laughs
Always an excuse but its no use.  I will keep walking this lonely road
Another show,  Another song, Another broken heart alone
Someday I might be more to them than just a footnote or some to pass the time
At the end of the day I wanted a friend that I could truly call all mine
I won't ever be possessive, but I won't ever want for her time
She will be there when I need her,  To me she will never lie
I will be a positive force in her life as she will be in mine
The clock stands still and we can talk for hours about the best reason or rhyme
I will never have to worry about another her or him
I could be supposed that our love would be self imposed and mutual at last
Never been a friend of convenience I have never been a friend to chance
What I have been is a star crossed dreamer who believes in the power of integrity, honesty, and romance
The crowd all starts to cheer as I bow and wave to them
The curtain closes I have nothing left to say
You just heard The Last Violins.................................

__________________________________________________________________________________

Coming to Terms with Someone Elses Selfishness : Part 2

I want all to know who have followed this blog and saga to know I love and loved Rachel Myatt very much.

First of all I want to say to anyone who thinks I would hurt kids or put up pictures to hurt Jonathan I put them up because I love her and Jonathan. It has nothing to do with disrespect for her. Also the picture I put up with Rachel with the sunglasses on if you look at her hand she is wearing my ring.  My promise ring that I sent her to promise I would be with her, be faithful to her, and love her unconditionally. Rachel wont tell any of the people in the New Church this about how much I loved her and how faithful I was to her because she wants me to look like an enemy.

Rachel is a foster mother and she wont tell you that I didn't want to come at a time when she had some foster children to take care of because I didn't feel right about being around them. As a man we have to watch ourselves around kids especially ones that are not ours and Rachel didnt understand it was out of respect for the children that I did not want to put myself, the children, or her in that situation. We had also talked about how much I loved children and how I did want to be there for Jonathan and I wanted to have a child with her and to help her raise foster children. I love Children and one of the reasons I am so hurt is that Rachel played with my need and want to be a father. I didn't care if the children were biologically mine much as I love and would have continued to love Jonathan as my own flesh even though his father is around.   So for anyone who has let Rachel mislead you that I don't like or care for children that is wrong.   I was hurt and abused a lot as a child and it made me love children even more and if anyone ever hurt a child that I knew or I could stop it I would step in and I have before.  

For the New Church person that keeps putting my emails in Emailtray.  Be a man or woman and just email me.  I can see you reading this. Yes I am about to start a campaign about what happened. Yes I have freedom of speech.  Yes I am only going to tell the truth of what happened between Rachel and I and the New Church and it will involve both the New Church of Canada and the U.S.  I can only say positive things about the U.S New Church because that is what I have encountered.  I can say positive and good things about Pastor Coleman Glenn even though we dont see eye to eye I do have respect for him.  The Lord has given me great love for Rachel Myatt and great guidance and I have time and again fought off the forces of evil to enact some kind of revenge on her.  Anyone that has read my blog or looked at the youtube videos can see that I truly love her and I am deeply hurt. I am so hurt that it is in the deepest regions of my soul. What is the saddest thing of all is that anyone would even consider Rachel saying ill things of my deceased mother as being ok.  Rachel should be ashamed of herself and since my mother blessed her before she died and only had love in her heart for Rachel it burns in my soul as even more painful. The person I loved the most put down the person who taught me to love her that much who on her deathbed blessed not only her but the whole Myatt family. 

For Rachel this message is for you,
I am sorry that I ever spent time loving such a selfish person. Anyone who prescribes to such bigotry as you expoused to me needs to be spoke on.  If you learned that hate and intolerance in the New Church of Dawson Creek then they should be ashamed of teaching such.    I have the right to speak about what happened to me.  If Rachel wants to put up her own blog and tell her own story then that is fine. It wont bother me but she wont because she is ashamed of me and all the true love that I had for her. A guy finally loves you for all you were , went through hell to get to you, made you promises that I would rather die than to break and all you did was put me down and ridicule me.  

Church of the New Jerusalem members I am sorry for having to tell a story that involves your church but I cant let Rachel keep treating people cruel and using her hatespeak and bigotry to hurt others. All she does is put others down when people try to love her. I accepted the New Church teachings.  I wanted to learn with her and be there for her and this person couldn't even say a prayer with me when I was broken and had lost my mom and came to her for the love and support a girlfriend is supposed to give instead she abandoned me and cursed me.  I know what Jesus would do and I know what my mom would want me to do and that is to keep on loving Rachel and anyone that persecutes and puts me down.  I wont walk away and I will do all the things I said. So Rachel if you hear me in 2012 I am just going to keep going. You brought this on yourself with your evil and always hurting people. You can always change. I hit rock bottom when Rachel abandoned me and my mom died I could have laid down and died or fight and I fought and I am still fighting.   Rachel Myatt why cant you see that I truly want peace with you. 

Church of the New Jerusalem why would you turn your back on someone who is hurting.  Why would you teach bigotry especially to someone who is black? Why would you teach people not to pray with their brothers and sisters of other faiths?  Why is what I will ask other religions when I tell them about your faith?  All you had to do is reach out a true hand. Reach out a hand to both Rachel and me to make peace.  It is ultimately her decision but I have done my part and I can do no more.  I have decided I have to tell my story and stand my ground because that is the only way both she and the Church will  listen and take a look at what was done and how it can affect your ministry. 

As kind hearted and loving as I am Rachel Myatt needs to know this no one steps on me like a doormat or disrespects my family especially when all I did was love and respect your family.
God Bless All

Unanswered Prayers: Christmas Disappointment

God has given me a sign that it is ok to let go and to do what I need to make me happy.  Rachel saw my prayer because she was on here looking at the pictures.  She ignored them. God heard them and many other people prayed for me.  Though Christmas is over in 4 hours my time and 6 hours in British Columbia where Rachel lives I know now that she wont respond.  Next week I will start to tell my story worldwide in the form of the "Letters to Rachel" final draft of my book.  What Rachel never knew is that everyday when we were a couple I wrote a journal of how much I loved her and she never got a chance to see that.  It is part of the Letters to Rachel book. They were responses to her emails and how much she meant to me but she never stayed around long enough to know how much I truly cared for her and Jonathan. My finished result will have words and pictures.  I am very sad Rachel that on Christ day of birth the day that He was born so that you and I could live a life not burdened by sin that you would ignore me.  All the problems you had with me would just wash away if you would make peace with me.  I no longer feel so it doesn't matter if you get mad and want to sue me or do anything to me because you broke my heart and my soul a long time ago when you spoke ill of my mom and belittled me and put me down.  One of the New Church representatives said I should let it go.  I then attempted to ask him how would he feel in my situation and I threw rhetoricals at him on why I have a right to feel the way I do. He could no longer find excuses because he knew in his heart that what you did was cruel and wrong and no religion supports that kind of cruelty or hurting of people. I loved you Rachel and Jonathan Myatt more than any two people I ever loved. You were my family. I had nothing but love for your family, your Church, and anyone that had of been your friend would have been in my heart. I am sorry you never saw that. I have a story to tell now and I had always hoped you and I would find peace and be in each others lives again but you only care about yourself.  If you truly cared about hurting me, Jonathan, your family, and your Church a phone call would be all it would have taken. I love you enough to go away forever if you hate me that much. I am sorry you do I think the world of you.

You were my best friend Rachel Myatt I still believe in you. I wish you believed in me and would end all this hurt and pain between us. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCi7a2D-R7w&feature=related  That is how I feel my friend without you and Jonathan.

You are my dear friend please put this behind us.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5zzmOdqi-g

Christmas Prayer: Peace With Rachel

Our Father in the Heavens,
Thank you for this day of life and the beauty of the gift of the human birth that you granted us so that we may live through you. Thank you for giving us the opportunity to not be burdened by sins, but to be washed clean to love, to live, and to care for others. On this Christmas Day I ask of only one thing O Lord.  I ask that you start and initiate the peace between Rachel and I. Dear Lord it has been so hard trying to not seek revenge, wanting to do evil, or enact retaliation but you have kept the love in my heart. Please let Rachel see that.  I sit humbly on my knees each night praying for us to find the way back into each others lives and though she may think I hate her and just want to hurt her it is the exact opposite.  My prayers are real and I am confident in your love and I will go to the ends of the earth telling of my love for you and the love I have for Rachel.  Jesus wash away the animosity between Rachel and I and let her see there is a man who is her true friend that hurts everyday that she and Jonathan are not in my life.  Let her and her family see that I am not eaten up with evil and revenge but I have a love so deep for her that it is in my every fiber.  So on this Holy Day of your birth dear Lord please let Rachel Myatt know that I love her, nothing I have done has been because I want to hurt her but because I love her so and she is hurting me.  I didn't ask for anything material just prayers on the day of your beautiful birth. So I am asking for the most beautiful gift that is a reflection of your love Lord. I want Rachel to know that I love her and for her to be able to love me again and not be my enemy. Thank you for hearing my prayer Lord Jesus Christ.

Amen

Rachel if you read this I love you and Jonathan with all my heart. I love your family and you hurt me everyday when you dont respond.  I'll spend another year telling you I love you, writing, doing whatever because that is how much I care for you.  I would rather you pick up the phone or email me and for the healing process begin.  You can make fun of me if you want, call me obssesed, crazy, or whatever insult you want to make but I truly love you. My family has seen it, my friends believed in the love enough to write your Pastors and Reverends, and even your Pastor has seen the true love I have for you.  If you want to live your life hiding and not living it to the fullest that is fine. You think I am out to get you and hurt you that is far from what I have tried to accomplish.  I lay down my arms this Christmas day and ask you to return to my heart through the Lord Jesus Christ love.  I never asked for any presents,  no material things, money or anything. I asked everybody to pray for Rachel and I.  One of my coworkers said I should just go ahead and get revenge on you to me the other day or it would eat me up for the rest of my life.  I told them that I do not seek revenge on you only to love you.   Rachel what did I do but believe in you and keep my word to deserve such cruelty?  All I know is I love you and if you want to live your life everyday in fear and hiding that is up to you. I am out in the open and I do love you.

You can say whatever you want about me, you and your family and Church can think whatever you will about me the truth is I dont care. I love you Rachel Myatt and I am following God's principal and God's love.

I loved you, I wanted a family with you and Jonathan with all my heart. I kept my promises to you despite my mother dying. I put my faith in God.  The love I have is from Him and if others want to doubt that, throw stones, and make fun of that it is fine. I am not going to back down. All the insults you hurled made me stronger and it tested and made my love for you stronger.  It makes my life more fulfilling to love you and I am sorry you didn't respect me and my love for you and Jonathan but I don't hate you. I will never love anyone more than I love you Rachel and I was the man who accepted your faith, I accepted your son, your and all you were. You couldn't love me back in the same way and you had to be cruel about it and mislead me. I treated you with respect and love and I wanted the same back. I never deserved to be treated like your enemy.  I know my mother forgives you for the things you said because she through Jesus love taught me how to love and forgive.  I hope that you will respond to this dear Rachel but if you don't please know I am not done.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k0RzhVJSxE&feature=fvwrel

God Bless All

11th Hour/Loving Your Enemies/Christ Birth, Death, and Sacrifice(Christmas Eve)

Dear Rachel,

You have never been my enemy. I don't know what I ever did but love you and believe in you for you to treat me the way you did.  I have spent the better part of a year trying to make peace with you.  We both did things that were wrong I am not going to harp on it.  I know that I miss you everyday.  You were my best friend.  I could let hate and revenge eat me up inside. I could stop loving you. I could do things to bring you great hurt. That has never been my intention.  All I wanted was peace with you.  It took me 5 years to date anyone because of all the pain and hurt I had been through before. You made me believe someone would love me for who I was and I felt someone truly wanted me. In my heart now I feel like I am not worth love or deserve a family after what happened. I feel unwanted, unloved, and for the rest of my life my heart is truly broken. I love you with all my heart.  My heart has been in shambles. I have tried to get you to talk to me and I put my faith in God.  I forgive you and I wish you would pick up the phone and call me and that we be back in each others life.  Do you know why I did the Letters to Rachel project because you just cut me off and treated me like I didn't exist.  Do you know how much I love you.  I went the world over letting you know I loved you. I told of all my pain, the hurt, the wanting to die, the shame. I put myself out there so you could know how much you and Jonathan meant to me. Maybe you think I did all this hurt you.  If you knew all the hurt I was going through when I came to see you then you would have thought about it before you said and did. I didn't react in the best way but at the time I needed no more than love and support. I didn't have a lot of people to support me after my mothers death but my love for you and Jonathan was the greatest gift I could have ever had. I lived to love you two. Rachel you were the most beautiful woman I had ever met, you had a wonderful little boy that I wanted to be part of his life and wanted to share all my love with the both of you.  Imagine losing the person who taught you how to love and care for people and then a couple of weeks later losing the person who you thought loved you and wanted to be there for you in your life and give you the love you thought you deserved. It was devastating. I was never trying to manipulate you. I truly wanted to die, so for you to say that I was trying to play games with you was very hurtful. It did happen. The doctors, the tears, the pain, the barely eating, severe weight loss, my hair fell out. I was that broken and worst of all during the holidays it made it even worst when you sent my Christmas card back.  I can't make you see this path that God has put me on Rachel but if you think of all the other men who gave up on you and didn't truly love you then think about me how I was willing to come to you even in a time of crisis in my family, how I was faithful in getting up every morning and emailing you before work.  How I would just text you little I love yous and I was thinking about you all the time. Think of how faithful and how much I love you and Jonathan. Think of how I always told you if I were going out with one of my girl friends and how I told you I had the oppurtunity to be unfaitfhful to you but I told that person that I was in love with you and I would not cheat on you. You never appreciated that I was so loyal and loved you and Jonathan so much.  I can't stop loving you and I want you to know if it takes all of 2012 and more campaigning to show you I love you then I will do that.  I would hope after reading this and taking it in you would think about how much this person who you hurt truly loves you.  It is up to you Rachel it is between you and God now.  Last week I was ready to just give up be evil and do something to really hurt you. I stepped back and thought do I love this person? Or do I want to be evil and not show love to fulfill some selfish desire to get revenge on her. No I prayed and I just kept on my my course of loving you even if you are not responsive to it.  I will just keep trying.

I want you to take a minute to watch this video entitled "Love Your Enemies" I have used it before back in May but I thought about how beautiful this would be if you would see this and see how much I love you and I am trying to be that person that loves you through even the most impossible of circumstances http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Ka7TQPwGVI
I know one thing in this life Rachel.  God loves us all. Our Lord Jesus Christ gave of Himself unselfishly, altruisticlly, and with love so that we could be free.  He came down to earth and endured the human experience so that we could live a life not burdened by sin but to be examples of his love.
Rachel why not take this opportunity to be an example in Christ and let it all go.  Come back to my heart.  My arms are open wide. I love you and Jonathan. I love your family.  I love Amanda. I love Howard and Jane. I love you all and that was all I wanted to do.  I came almost 2000 miles Rachel because I wanted to love you as my own flesh.  I wanted to show you that a man would worship with you, A man would give his all, a man did love you for all you were and was willing to show you that. I am sorry that me being in mourning and grieving made you think that I was sad and damaged. I was in a place where I needed to talk and get a lot of things off my chest I was also in a state of shock and I wish you had of taken that in consideration.  What is done though is water under the bridge I want 2012 to be the year we put down the wall between us and bury the hatchet.



In the Bible it says it best about Jesus gift to us in Romans 5:1-15 ¹ Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, ² through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. ³ Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; ⁴ perseverance, character; and character, hope. ⁵ And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
 ⁶ You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. ⁷ Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. ⁸ But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
 ⁹ Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God’s wrath through him! ¹⁰ For if, while we were God’s enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! ¹¹ Not only is this so, but we also boast in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
 ¹² Therefore, just as sin entered the world through one man, and death through sin, and in this way death came to all people, because all sinned—
 ¹³ To be sure, sin was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not charged against anyone’s account where there is no law. ¹⁴ Nevertheless, death reigned from the time of Adam to the time of Moses, even over those who did not sin by breaking a command, as did Adam, who is a pattern of the one to come.
 ¹⁵ But the gift is not like the trespass. For if the many died by the trespass of the one man, how much more did God’s grace and the gift that came by the grace of the one man, Jesus Christ, overflow to the many! ¹⁶ Nor can the gift of God be compared with the result of one man’s sin: The judgment followed one sin and brought condemnation, but the gift followed many trespasses and brought justification. ¹⁷ For if, by the trespass of the one man, death reigned through that one man, how much more will those who receive God’s abundant provision of grace and of the gift of righteousness reign in life through the one man, Jesus Christ! Rachel Myatt you are my sister in Christ. Rejoice in the beautiful friendship and love we shared.  Put away what ever animosity and hurt you have toward me and I will too.  Let us talk again. Love again care again.  Life is too short for what we have become.  We belong in each others life.  I am willing to keep fighting to show you I love you and Jonathan. I am willing to go to the ends of the earth. I am willing to be strong, steadfast, perservere the criticizm, the hurt, and the long nights of doubt why BECAUSE RACHEL MYATT I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND I LOVE YOU AND YOUR SON AS MY OWN FLESH YOU ARE A PART OF ME YOU ARE MY FAMILY AND THERE IS NO SACRIFICE I WOULDN'T MAKE EVEN GIVE MY LIFE FOR YOU TWO.


So Rachel I am asking you on the Holy Day of Christ birth to let it go and make peace with me. I love you and Jonathan and I am hurting without you in my life.  6 years ago I spent 3 months apart from my friend Scott who I treat as my brother. We grew up differently I am black he is white we had a falling out and for 3 months over something stupid we wasted all the time. A passing glance and a hug ended all that. I cant hug you because you are too far away and I can't make you want to be in my life again but I love you and want you in my life again.  It may never be like before but Rachel I cannot give up on you and the love I have for God and the love He has instilled in me will not subside.  I want to say this. I am not obsessed with you,  I am not crazy, I truly love you and I am willing to fight for those I love. It has always been that way. If you can't look at this blog or go back and look at all the good times we had together and see I am doing this out of love and not to bash, hurt, or demean you then you have missed the point. Sure I have said somethings that have not been the best but I stand my ground and I wont take them back. The best thing is to move forward.  I have people so proud of me that I didn't try to get revenge on you and that I am consistent in loving you.   So Christmas Day , Dear Rachel call me. Email Me whatever you need to do. End this with me. We are dear friends and after all the hurt I know we can make something special and rekindle some of the beauty we had in our lives. You may never be my girlfriend again but that doenst mean you cant be in my life.  I do want to see you and Jonathan again someday. I do love you both in a couple of days you will see something that will let you know how much you mean to me.  I am still praying though that tomorrow December 25th 2011 will be the end of the distance between my best friend  Rachel Myatt and a new chapter where Rachel and Byron learn to love and be in each others lives again.  I named this blog 11th hour because its Christmas Eve one day till Christmas. I always take things to the wire and to the end and I will not give up on you. I also will end it with the video by Rancid of the song 11th hour http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bmZjPtXYs_Y please click on the lyrics and read them because I think it shows the strength, determination, and character I have for those I love.  I am not going to stop loving and believing in you Rachel Myatt. I don't know why you stopped believing in me and loving me but I wish you would take a second look at it and let me back into your heart that would be the best gift anyone could give me ever in my life. I love you that much. Merry Christmas Rachel Myatt I love you and Jonathan with all my heart and I know that you have love in your heart for me and that you really do want to reconcile I will believe in you and keep waiting.  God Bless you and the Myatt family. My true blessing will come to you soon. If you hate me so much that you have to complain about the pictures I will just put up the ones of You, Jonathan and I and send those all over the place. It seems petty since I am only doing this to show you I love you too. I am not doing it to harm but it seems like you want that. They cant take those down at all and I will put them in my letter around the world since you dont want to contact me. You slept with me, you belittled me and called me crazy, you put me down, talked ill against my dead mother and now that someone is showing you what it is to judge someone and not backing down you run scared. I deserve to just level you to the ground with revenge but Christ is and never is about that it is about love. Just admit it you are ashamed of me. That is why I never put any pictures of you and I up accept the sketch pictures because you are so ashamed of me. When I got there all that accepting me and loving me for who I was went out the door. I saw your mothers reaction. I could tell she didnt like me but you didnt stand up and just love me for me. You didnt take the time you let others shape your view and miss out on the true love I had for you and then you slandered and put me down. You want to act like a victim when you are the one who started all the hurt and hate. All I ever did was  love you and you thought there would be no consequences to running your mouth and being selfish. This was  your choice I love you Rachel and you just keep trying to avoid all the stuff you have done. God bless

"Guilt is something small people use when they run out of excuses for their actions" Gaius Baltar

I have never wanted anything but to love you, peace, and forgiveness.  I regret nothing and I will not stand back and be made the villian in this.  I put my faith in God.


Love
B

A Christmas Wish(The Final Days)

Dear Rachel,
This message is exclusively to you.  I am asking that you find it in your heart to make peace with me and call me.  The choice is yours and you wont find out till next week how much I really love you and your family but if you truly want to end all this and you have any love for me in your heart at all then I am reaching out to you.  If you hate that I put the pictures of you and Jonathan up in "A Chistmas Wish" I am sorry. I love both of you and all I wanted last year and this year is to have both of you in my life. I was reduced to just pictures because you abandoned me. You have severely damaged the love I have for people. I cannot trust anyone and I have been broken and barely can look people in the eyes. You may be living your life how you want to and think what you did to me was justified but you have no right to judge me for what I do in the aftermath.  I could have posted up pictures of you and did stuff  to hurt you. I could of done lots of  things to hurt you Rachel but this blog and my actions have only been because I love you and Jonathan Rachel.  Do you think I would hurt your child. Did you not see how much I was happy to play with him. I saw how beautiful he was and all the wonderful qualities he had and I wanted to be there for him as I wanted to be there for you. Out of all the women I dated with children I never wanted to have any of them to love as much as I wanted to have you and Jonathan as my family.  I am sorry you didnt appreciate or see the sacrifice or the true love I had for both you and Jonathan.  So on Christmas Day just know you could have made a difference in someones life by ending all this but you would rather go on like this. You would rather know you hurt me everyday.  Never know what I am doing or saying.  Not knowing if I am trying to put something up to hurt you on my blog when all I am wanting to do is love you and your son.  Would our Lord Jesus Christ treat anyone like that? Rachel, God is calling you to make peace with me. He is calling me to make peace with you.  Here I am open hearted, open armed, I love you. I love your family. I still want you in my life.  You can contact me on this blog. You can talk to Pastor Glenn he has my info if you have lost it. You can do whatever. I promised you even if you didnt want to be in my life if you just came to me I would stop it all the blog. The campaign everything.  Are you that cruel? Do you hate me that much that you can't see that I love you enough to let you go forever and all you have to do is have the courage to talk to me. I will never be the same again after what you did to me I can't trust anyone to have a relationship and I wont want any kids because you hurt me because I wanted to be Jonathan's stepfather, his friend, and be there for him. I wanted to be your best friend in Christ, your partner, your companion.  When someone deals you a blow of betrayal and hurt like you did me then my heart is to broken too much to ever care again.  I was just a game to you I guess someone to pass your lonely days, a glorified pen pal.  After all the courting and love I had for you, you just thought you could text me abandon me and things would return to normal. Did you ever take life and love seriously Rachel Myatt.  You deserve so much more than I have done. You dont deserve my love, the mercy, or how much I care about you but I know what I am doing is better than hating you, trashing you and being really hurtful as I could have done. I am doing what I am doing because I love you so take it anyway you want. You wanted to erase me like I never existed but you forgot about the pictures and paper trail of letters and emails you left so that can never happen. So you can sue me or take legal action against me if you dont like me putting pictures up you have already hurt me enough what is one more blow to my heart? You never loved me and after what you did. I feel I am not worthy of being loved. 

So to let you know how much I loved Jonathan and how much having you and him in my life meant to me here is a song to let you know. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iin2EgTsC9o

Im sorry for loving you and wanting to have a family with you and Jonathan and have a normal human life. That would have been the greatest gift anyone could have given me. Love and a family of my own. I thought I deserved that but I guess not.

I Deserved.................

Dear Readers,

I realized that with some people they will never learn. Rachel Myatt is one of those people. I tried to be kind, loving, make peace with her and even forgive her. I was met with criticizm, people of her Clergy making excuses for her actions, and people trying to make me feel like I was wrong.  I know what I have to do now. It is time for her to be told off worldwide. It is time to expose her and it is time to get on with my life and feel better about it when I do it. Just remember Church of the New Jerusalem when I start telling my story to others of different faiths and telling my story on video you all were pre warned and I gave Rachel every chance in heaven and hell to make things right.

SO I WANT YOU TO KNOW RACHEL WHY I HAVE TO DO THIS

1. Nobody disrespects another persons dead relative especially if they have only been dead 3 weeks. Let me ask you readers and Rachel. What if it had of been your mom, or your son, or your father or sister? Do you think I would have abandoned Rachel, put her down, or spoke ill toward her. No I would have supported her and been accepting of what she was going through and it would not have in anyway affected our relationship or friendship. How can you ever expect to be in any kind of relationship Rachel if you run from the bad. There will not always be good but if a crisis like death does happen you would have to be strong or your partner would have to be strong to deal with it. What if Jonathan died Rachel? I would have moved heaven and earth to support you and not give up on you and understand you. Did I receive any of that kindness? Hell No. I was told by Rachel I was sick and mentally ill and I needed help and I needed to see a doctor. Grieving after 3 weeks and for as much as I did like working and coming to see you Rachel and I needed to be checked into a mental hospital? Really Rachel? What a douche you were to me! Any of you New Church clergy who made excuses for Rachel doing this and that it was her free will to do that you are screwed in the head.  You are not kind, loving, and deserve to have your Pastors or Reverends papers revoked.

2. I deserve to be loved and have happiness like anyone else does. If someone stands in the way of my dreams and treats me like a doormat then I have every right to do what I have to do to be happy. I tried to make peace with Rachel but she doesn't want me to have closure so why should I care about what I do now.  I asked for people to pray, I have constantly sent letters of love, I have asked for forgiveness and gave forgiveness and if she is such an evil person that she doesnt see how much I love her and Jonathan then I deserve to do whatever I am doing. Whether it be a blog, a pamphlet, or what have you I am going to just let the world know my story and I dont care how she feels anymore I did and do love her but she never loved me from the way she treated me. So Rachel its your own fault.

3. I am Christian and like all human beings I have faults, imperfections, and flaws but instead of harp on others imperfections, short comings, and missteps I just love people for who they are and in all her imperfections  I loved Rachel Myatt for all that she was.  So to Rachel Myatt, The Myatt and Friesen Family, to Pastor Coleman Glenn, To the New Church of Canads and to the General New Church Worldwide I am sorry but I can no longer hold back what I have to say and I am not afraid and I am just going to say it. I don't care how Rachel feels because she never cared how I felt or about how much I loved her and you people preach love and charity but show bigotry, bias, and hypocrisy when someone is showing the greatest amount of love to someone who decieved, lied, and almost destroyed another.  I truly love my brothers and sisters in the world and anyone who would treat people as Rachel Myatt doesn't know the true meaning of loving others. She does love her family and I will give her that but anyone who isn't related to her she treats like cow manure and has little respect for anyone other than herself and it is a reflection on her New Church teachings.  So just remember that where I am coming from is a real place. It really happened and I tell my story truthfully and with sadness because I truly loved Rachel Myatt

To Any Detractors just remember on the Lord's Holy Day of Birth and Celebration I asked for peace with Rachel Myatt.  I prayed for her and her family and to God to make peace with her. I asked for forgiveness and forgave all the people who were in the line of the situation especially those in the New Church. Rachel denies that love and that call for forgiveness so when I am telling my story and people are listening and starting a quiet revolution that is negative to the New Church just remember I came to worship with you, I came to love, and I wanted to be there with you and you turned your back on me and so I have every right to say the things I say and do the things I do now.
God Bless All

Steadfast, Unstoppable, and Immovable: The Power God gave me to Believe!

Dear Readers(Especially those of the New Church),

I just want to thank all those who read my blog and all who have prayed for me. Whether you be of the New Church or of any faith I appreciate all those who read, leave kind words, and who see the love in what I am doing.  I want The New Church to know one thing. I am still going to launch my campaign in 2012.  You will not know the hour, nor will you know how I will launch it but I am going to stick to my word so that Rachel can see that when you use religion and faith to hurt others that it can make a difference in people's life. I am full of love for Rachel Myatt and her entire family. I have love and respect for many Pastors in the New Church especially those who wrote me in the "Letters to Rachel" summer campaign.  I am inspired to do more.  I just want Rachel to know if she reads this and to Pastor Glenn of the Dawson Creek New Church in British Columbia, Canada to know one thing.  "Its On" meaning I am not going to back down, I am not giving up on Rachel, and the whole world is going to know of how things happened and how I asked to make peace with her and she turned a deaf ear.  I was inspired and moved by the Bible, by popular singer Adele's album 21 about her break up with her boyfriend. I went back and listened to my favorite all time album "The Downward Spiral" by Nine Inch  Nails" I was moved to take my body of music in the "Letters to Rachel"album and make it a concept album. I am now using dialogue from correspondence between us in between and in the body of some of the actual songs.  My wish is that Rachel will call my Christmas Eve or Christmas day but I am highly doubtful she will. All I know is that I love her and so much love is coming her way in Dawson Creek, British Columbia. I will spend 2012 really letting her know I love her and maybe then she will understand that when God is truly with you there is nothing you cant and wont do.  I love you Rachel Myatt and I will stand my ground.  My faith will not be shaken and I will not be your enemy or an enemy of the New Church. I will stand proud in my love of God and I will stand against you with both love and wisdom. My pen, my thoughts, my videos, my love of music, and my love of God will be all that I have to take into battle. It will be in this Rachel Myatt that you will  truly know how much I love you and Jonathan.

1 Peter 5:10
And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

Luke 6:48
They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.

For Rachel and Jane Myatt since you chose to mistake me describing my surroundings and the hell I went though growing up as being mentally ill. You chose to take me telling the truth about what I had been through as being unhappy or damaged. I call it reality and the truth. Didn't mean I was unhappy so you can live your sheltered life in Northern Canada with no violence, no killings, shootings, and drugs everywhere but dont you dare judge me for loving you enough to tell you about myself like you both seemed to do. Viva La Revolution to both you and the New Church. Im about to call bigotry, hatred, and intolerance. Most all to people who act with a double standard. Act one way at Church and treat others another way when they are not around the Church.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UEwki01-tY&feature=related
I am about to make my video about the New Church much like the one above.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zStxvq_Qqow
For being sheltered and not being able to love people who are different than you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HernHe5Ctek
This is so you can learn to love people who just are themselves no matter what others think of you. You could have loved me for who I was Rachel but you chose to treat me like an outcast and find all my flaws and imperfections and treat me like crap. I am beautiful and full of love and I would  never treat you as less of a person.

You were my best friend Rachel. I love you more than anyone else in the world and if you really knew how I felt you would come back.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-iRk2aWKrA4&feature=related

I guess showing the world how much I love you is what you want than to just make peace with me.

Rise Up Live A Full Life, Love

Dear Readers,
This is for anyone who is so much of a religious tightwad that they can't question the beauty of God and aren't constantly trying to know new things about our Lord. This is for bigots, racist, facist, two faced liars, and anyone who proclaims to be one thing and lives exactly the opposite. This is for you.

Rise Up! Rise Up by Cursive
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=opyFXYgChrg&feature=related

Listen to the Words if not go look them up.

Be a Christian or whatever faith you believe in but don't infringe on others, turn them away, or put others down.  Love, Tolerance, and Acceptance is what Christ taught. Love those who persecute you.  Help those who help you. Always choose Good over Evil. Never strive to do the Lesser Evil but to do the Greatest Amount of Good.  Love each other and never turn your back on your family and friends. Never give up on those you love.

God Bless

Matchstick Burn

Matchstick Burn from the upcoming A Chapter of Fault Album "Letters To Rachel"


I was inspired by your love Rachel Myatt
Now I wont keep quiet I have things on my mind
It seems that your convictions and observations about my condition
Will be out in the open like an affliction for the world to see
You chose maim and hurt instead showing kindness
I could have directed the same kind of hate and true blindness
Instead I walk in the light and I believe in what is right
Love will always win even as we fight this war

I'll burn New Churches to the ground with my love
I show all those who are evil that I follow the One above
All the doubt that you had in your heart about how I felt and how I was so messed up
You made a mistake passing judgment on me Rachel
Live and you learn like A Matchstick.........You will simply Burn

I hope you are thinking about all the things you said
How I wouldn't succeed in doing what I promised
Now its all out in the open and you are the one dealing with the karma
A year later I am still loving you but now its worldwide
I dont see you as a burden or a thorn in my side
But that is how you must have seen me as you disrespected my passed mother
And how you laughed and taunted me while I grieved
Thats ok those feelings are no longer in my way
I am about to blaze a path to truth and discernment
While you lie and hurt others who love you
Just think about the one who died for all our sins and salvation who is above you

Ill burn New Churches to the ground with my kindness
I tried to make peace with you girl but you couldn't find it(in your heart)
Now you hide in the shadows and darkness, While my truth shines out for all to see
No eye for an eye or seeking vengence in return
My heart is open to forgiveness and like a A Matchstick ...... My love will Burn

You brought the people around you into a war that could have been avoided
I got the troops in my friends and family out on the front lines for battle deployed
You were my best friend and in one selfish moment you ended all that was beautiful like I never existed
Now you will have to deal with the consequences
Remember how you said I was damaged, messed up ,and had the sickness

So Rachel Myatt I am mentally ill by your judgment
I will never forget your harmful words.
You tried to make me look bad because you were too afraid to love me and to stand up to your family
So when this song is all over the place will people be willing to look you in the face
To know that you were so inconsiderate and hateful
Now you have a whole plateful of drama only you can put an end too
You can't look at yourself in the mirror and see what you done
You abused the love of another you truly destroyed someone
Luckily I rose from the ashes and my heart is palace full of love for you even if you treat me as an enemy
I am a fortress I am a rock I am strong and God is by my side and will be till this hurt is gone
So go ahead live your life reckless, lie, be dishonest, and disrespectful
I will go on and prosper in your absence

I'll burn New Churches to the ground with my love
I show all those who are evil that I follow the One above
All the doubt that you had in your heart about how I felt and how I was so messed up
You made a mistake passing judgment on me Rachel
Live and you learn like A Matchstick.........You will simply Burn


Dedicated to Rachel Myatt

2011 A Chapter of Fault Music Inc