The Following is an email from Rachel to me directly from my email account. I thought I had a true friend and partner in this world and someone who understood what I was going through losing my mom. Through it all I believed in Rachel and her family and to this day I have nothing but love for them but I wanted Rachel to remember that she said she would be there for me and then just 3 short weeks later she abandoned me and was so cruel when she knew what I was going through. I love you Rachel Myatt I pray everyday you will realize that and come back to my heart but it seems you want to not only fight the love that is being presented to you but the truth of all that you have done. I am fully aware of my actions and how silly it is to want to give up on life and I am sorry for that. I never meant it to hurt you or make you feel like you were pinned into anything I did it because of all the sweet things you said to me and you made me believe you wanted to be with me then you just abandoned me and were cruel to me. I hope this will let you see how truly cruel and unkind you have been to me when I thought you truly loved me.
Wish I Could Be There For You
Hi Byron,
Just wanted to reinforce that I am thinking of you and praying for you and your mom and your brother and dad throughout the day. I wish right now I could be there with you to help you and comfort you in anyway that I could. I can hardly think of how hard this must be for everyone and I don't even know what to say other than I love you and I am praying for you. Also my mom is as well, I know and she told me to say hi to you and to let you know that she is thinking and praying for your family as well. Amanda, after the one text, sent one saying that it wasn't 'much, but that letting people know that others care for them is very important. So we all here care about you Byron. What a sad thing to happen. I'm sure I am not going to be near as strong as you when my mom is passing. I think you are very brave and courageous and positive in this hard time. I admire you for it and look up to your strength. I guess I really just wanted to tell you that I love you and that I am in continous thought of you, and that others here are thinking of you as well. I wish you the best rest possible Byron. I'm here for you for anything you need. Never hesitate to ask. I love you, am praying for you, am thinking about you, and am glad that you find small comfort in my love for you. Goodnight for tonight sweetheart.
Rachel
(My mother left this world at 6:07 CST that same day Rachel left me that email)
I just wanted you to remember all that you said to me. All I needed at that time was your friendship and love. I needed you to understand that I wasn't sad at the time I was grieving. I was so happy when I was there with you and your family I just wasn't all there. The little smiles going on in my heart being with you and Jonathan were so big I just couldn't translate them as much as I would have liked for you. I was the happiest man alive. I just wanted you to take me everywhere you wanted to and not ask me what I wanted to do because I wasn't really into making decisions at the time. All I wanted was to be with you and Jonathan and I thought you knew and understood the nature of what I was going through. This is why I have never given up on you Rachel because I know in time you might understand that the things you said and did had a profound effect on me. I was and always will be truly in love with you. I will always love you as my dearest friend and all I want is for you to at least pick up the phone talk to me and take this pain away. I love you so much and you ignoring me for the past year and abandoned me has taken its toll on me. I have almost a half head of grey hair. Some of my hair has fallen out and that may be from the tumor and things but it is stress from this pain. My little beard is half grey. I am 36 yrs old and last year I had very little gray. When I was 17 I went through some stress and for a week my hair turned grey it was a very sad experience but I am truly saddened that you don't know how much I love you and dont understand after all you said and promised me why I am hurt and still havent given up on you. I love you as my sister in Christ. I love you as my best friend. I love you enough to take my love to the Church and God. If you cant see that I love you with all my heart and that you and Jonathan are all I want and need then eventually I will just fade away. I hurt more and more everyday. I am sorry that you don't want to forgive and that you don't remember how beautiful being in each others life was. My mother loved you so much Rachel and by doing what you are doing to me now you hurt me even more because for the rest of my life her last words to me will be about a woman who hates me who she thought loved her son.
I also wanted to point out about how much love I have. Pastor Glenn was trying to console me the other night about Rachel and he was pertaining to seeing my love for God. I had sent a postcard to Rachel's Church and not only sent love for everyone in the Church but congradulated Pastor Glenn on his appointment to the position of Pastor of the Church. I didn't do it because I thought Rachel would see or here about it I didn't even sign it but He knew who it was. Rachel I dont think you are even seeing how much you are loved and you are trying to hide from someone that is very dear and close to your heart. All I can say is that I will be patient and loving. If you want me to be the mean spirited hurtful person who wrote that blog the other night I can be that but its not in my heart. I could have been vengeful to you but I havent felt it would be productive in trying to show you how much I really care for you. I want you to see the ad I posted on Craigslist back in April when I came back from California and Coachella on the first leg of my "I Love Rachel Myatt" World Tour.
Date: 2011-04-23, 12:04PM MDT
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
Wish I Could Be There For You
8/08/10
To byron
| From: | Rachel Myatt |
| Sent: | Sun 8/08/10 1:02 AM |
Just wanted to reinforce that I am thinking of you and praying for you and your mom and your brother and dad throughout the day. I wish right now I could be there with you to help you and comfort you in anyway that I could. I can hardly think of how hard this must be for everyone and I don't even know what to say other than I love you and I am praying for you. Also my mom is as well, I know and she told me to say hi to you and to let you know that she is thinking and praying for your family as well. Amanda, after the one text, sent one saying that it wasn't 'much, but that letting people know that others care for them is very important. So we all here care about you Byron. What a sad thing to happen. I'm sure I am not going to be near as strong as you when my mom is passing. I think you are very brave and courageous and positive in this hard time. I admire you for it and look up to your strength. I guess I really just wanted to tell you that I love you and that I am in continous thought of you, and that others here are thinking of you as well. I wish you the best rest possible Byron. I'm here for you for anything you need. Never hesitate to ask. I love you, am praying for you, am thinking about you, and am glad that you find small comfort in my love for you. Goodnight for tonight sweetheart.
Rachel
(My mother left this world at 6:07 CST that same day Rachel left me that email)
I just wanted you to remember all that you said to me. All I needed at that time was your friendship and love. I needed you to understand that I wasn't sad at the time I was grieving. I was so happy when I was there with you and your family I just wasn't all there. The little smiles going on in my heart being with you and Jonathan were so big I just couldn't translate them as much as I would have liked for you. I was the happiest man alive. I just wanted you to take me everywhere you wanted to and not ask me what I wanted to do because I wasn't really into making decisions at the time. All I wanted was to be with you and Jonathan and I thought you knew and understood the nature of what I was going through. This is why I have never given up on you Rachel because I know in time you might understand that the things you said and did had a profound effect on me. I was and always will be truly in love with you. I will always love you as my dearest friend and all I want is for you to at least pick up the phone talk to me and take this pain away. I love you so much and you ignoring me for the past year and abandoned me has taken its toll on me. I have almost a half head of grey hair. Some of my hair has fallen out and that may be from the tumor and things but it is stress from this pain. My little beard is half grey. I am 36 yrs old and last year I had very little gray. When I was 17 I went through some stress and for a week my hair turned grey it was a very sad experience but I am truly saddened that you don't know how much I love you and dont understand after all you said and promised me why I am hurt and still havent given up on you. I love you as my sister in Christ. I love you as my best friend. I love you enough to take my love to the Church and God. If you cant see that I love you with all my heart and that you and Jonathan are all I want and need then eventually I will just fade away. I hurt more and more everyday. I am sorry that you don't want to forgive and that you don't remember how beautiful being in each others life was. My mother loved you so much Rachel and by doing what you are doing to me now you hurt me even more because for the rest of my life her last words to me will be about a woman who hates me who she thought loved her son.
I also wanted to point out about how much love I have. Pastor Glenn was trying to console me the other night about Rachel and he was pertaining to seeing my love for God. I had sent a postcard to Rachel's Church and not only sent love for everyone in the Church but congradulated Pastor Glenn on his appointment to the position of Pastor of the Church. I didn't do it because I thought Rachel would see or here about it I didn't even sign it but He knew who it was. Rachel I dont think you are even seeing how much you are loved and you are trying to hide from someone that is very dear and close to your heart. All I can say is that I will be patient and loving. If you want me to be the mean spirited hurtful person who wrote that blog the other night I can be that but its not in my heart. I could have been vengeful to you but I havent felt it would be productive in trying to show you how much I really care for you. I want you to see the ad I posted on Craigslist back in April when I came back from California and Coachella on the first leg of my "I Love Rachel Myatt" World Tour.
peace country craigslist > personals > missed connections
I love and miss you Rachel Myatt of Dawson Creek - m4w - 36 (United States)
Date: 2011-04-23, 12:04PM MDT
Reply to: your anonymous craigslist address will appear here
If anyone knows Rachel Myatt of Dawson Creek then tell her someone in the United States loves her and misses her. We had a falling out. Things went bad but I have never stopped loving her. I have so much love for her and her family and I have never stopped thinking about her and her son. I put my faith in God that someone will see this that knows her. I hope someone will let her know. She means the world to me and I am going to let the world know how much I love her. Dear Rachel I ask on this Holy Weekend of Christ Sacrifice and in the weeks and months beyond that we find our way back to each other. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you and Jonathan and though we both hurt each other I want to put that all behind us and find away to make peace with each other. I am strong, I am confident, and I do love you. My love was never a mistake, I chose you because you are everything I always wanted and needed and God gave me this love and I will not forsake it. If you read this and you believe in true love and you live in the Peace River Country and know Rachel or go or know of The Dawson Creek New Church pass this on. I love her with all my heart and will go to the ends of the earth to let her know.
Check the date as it was the day after my birthday. The only thing I wanted was to make peace with you and for us to talk. I asked for no material things but that people just pray for us to make peace.
What person who didn't truly love you would put something up like that Rachel Myatt? What person's friends and family would write letters to Churches and Pastors they have never met? What person would write New Church's all over the world to tell of how much he loved you? Mine because people know my love for God and that this love is truly from God.You see Rachel no matter how distraught or depressed I might get God never lets me give up on you. It is over a year and if I wanted revenge or vengeance I would have done something. I didn't instead all I have done repeatedly is profess my love for you and how Id like us to forgive and forget and be in each others life again. I am not trying to push you back into a relationship. I love you and I would want that again someday but you are mistaken if you think that is all that I want. If you want to continue to hide, act like I don't exist, and pretend that you don't care about me then it is ok, I am not going to hold back my love for you. I am going to do my best to not treat you with evil or disrespect. I will not give up on you though because God has instilled me with the greatest love for you. I just hope you will see that in the next couple of months. All I want for Christmas is peace with you Rachel nothing more than that and Gods love and I never wanted anything but God's love, your love Rachel, and Jonathans love.
Remember this if you dont remember anything else from this blog Rachel. If you lie, lies eventually catch up with you. If you hurt others you will be eventually be hurt even worst.(I am not endorsing that but I do believe in karma) In the Bible it says to treat others as you want to be treated. I loved you, believed in you, and cared about you. If you want to keep denying that, denying me forgiveness, denying me peace because you caused the pain to me. It is all on you. I would never treat you the way you did me. I would never lie to you like you did me. I would never say the awful things you said to me and if one of your parents died. I would have stayed with you supported you and been kind and understanding. I wouldn't have broke up with you and said you were sad. You wrote me an email saying you understood but when I was there you forgot that I had just been through one of the worst times of my Life. I still loved you enough to give you all of me so when you are reading this think about how you acted.
Check the date as it was the day after my birthday. The only thing I wanted was to make peace with you and for us to talk. I asked for no material things but that people just pray for us to make peace.
What person who didn't truly love you would put something up like that Rachel Myatt? What person's friends and family would write letters to Churches and Pastors they have never met? What person would write New Church's all over the world to tell of how much he loved you? Mine because people know my love for God and that this love is truly from God.You see Rachel no matter how distraught or depressed I might get God never lets me give up on you. It is over a year and if I wanted revenge or vengeance I would have done something. I didn't instead all I have done repeatedly is profess my love for you and how Id like us to forgive and forget and be in each others life again. I am not trying to push you back into a relationship. I love you and I would want that again someday but you are mistaken if you think that is all that I want. If you want to continue to hide, act like I don't exist, and pretend that you don't care about me then it is ok, I am not going to hold back my love for you. I am going to do my best to not treat you with evil or disrespect. I will not give up on you though because God has instilled me with the greatest love for you. I just hope you will see that in the next couple of months. All I want for Christmas is peace with you Rachel nothing more than that and Gods love and I never wanted anything but God's love, your love Rachel, and Jonathans love.
Remember this if you dont remember anything else from this blog Rachel. If you lie, lies eventually catch up with you. If you hurt others you will be eventually be hurt even worst.(I am not endorsing that but I do believe in karma) In the Bible it says to treat others as you want to be treated. I loved you, believed in you, and cared about you. If you want to keep denying that, denying me forgiveness, denying me peace because you caused the pain to me. It is all on you. I would never treat you the way you did me. I would never lie to you like you did me. I would never say the awful things you said to me and if one of your parents died. I would have stayed with you supported you and been kind and understanding. I wouldn't have broke up with you and said you were sad. You wrote me an email saying you understood but when I was there you forgot that I had just been through one of the worst times of my Life. I still loved you enough to give you all of me so when you are reading this think about how you acted.
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