Dear Rachel,
I was truly in love with you and the person you were. I was amazed at the love and compassion you have for children and all I wanted was to share that love with you. Do you remember when I was there that friday and we put in the dvd for the kids and it was Marvin the Tap Dancing Horse? You were laughing because I knew the theme song. I have no children of my own but I am always around my friends and families children and I love children so much. I had even been with a young lady for awhile who has 5 children but she chose drugs over her children until recently. Her mother adored me for calling her daughter out on the drugs. I went so far as to go after her drug dealer and send her pictures at the crackhouse she was staying at of what drugs would do to her. You may think that this blog is extreme and a little over the top but you truly do not know the things I have done for the people I care about. You are missing the point of this blog and all the things I am doing if you think that I am doing it to hurt you. When this young lady was hanging out doing drugs one of her kids was really sick and in the hospital. I remember going to see him and his mother didnt even see him and I went so I could give him a birthday present. This was 7 years ago. She shaped up and got married to a nice serviceman. Her mother still contacts me sometimes and she and I will always be friends. I am always there for people Rachel. The reason I wanted a family with you is because I love you and Jonathan. I felt that my time, my love, and energy would be well spent devoting my life for you. Sure I would miss Texas and all the music and entertainment that is easily accessible but I would be happy going geocaching with you, watching Jonathan grow, and going to the occasional show that did come by or maybe going to Vancouver or Victoria every once in awhile. I wanted to worship with you and was interested in the New Church theology but you turned me away. That didn't discourage me from studying it anyway. Rachel I really do love you and I just wish you and your family would take a second look at how much I love you. I wasn't looking for a girlfriend or anything when I met you but God came to me and said this is the one. Never give up on her, believe in her, give your heart and soul to her and love her lke you have love no other. I have shown you that even in adversity and pain I still love you unconditionally. You and Jonathan are the ones I would lay down my life for literally. I don't know what else to tell you other than when I finish my cd and start touring to let people know how much I love you and let the love spread from the story then. I would rather you and I talk though and I just want to tell you that I miss you. You can take the last year or so however you want. I have never stopped loving you or wanting to be with you. For whatever reason it is I feel like you were ashamed of me for being black, you didn't want to deal with the social stigma. I feel like you thought I wasn't attractive and maybe you couldnt just deal with the fact that I loved you and that was all that mattered after I saw the Ugly Loser thing on MSN. Maybe your family didnt like me or werent willing to really know me. I was sad when I came to see you but Rachel never unhappy. It was the happiest time of my life I was with my best friend and her family and I never wanted to leave you. I would have sold everything and dropped it all if you had of let me to be with you and Jonathan. That is how much I love you. You were my dearest friend and the person I trusted most with my heart, my secrets, and my love. That is Why I Wanted A Family With You. Right Now My Father is in the Hospital Rachel and I am only 36 he has been sick for awhile too. Imagine losing both your parents within a year which I am afraid might happen. I lost my mother, the girl that I love meaning you Rachel and then it would just be me and my brother. You making peace with me right now would mean so much I love you with all my heart so I am reaching out to you to look deep into your heart and believe in me and believe in the love you have in your heart. I am telling you the truth. I love you so much Rachel Myatt I leave you with this song by Tsunami Bomb called "Swimming Through Molasses" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1lLsP8j5j8 It is special to me because no matter what life throws at me I end up stronger and just keep fighting. Rachel you are truly special to me. I have never fought so hard to show someone I love them. My friends and family have reached out to you and the Church and I have never done so much to prove to someone I am worthy of loving them. I do love you so much and you just wont open your eyes and see it. I keep praying and believing in God and I believe in you. Have a blessed day.
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Arcana Coelestia 1799.4 In the Christian world it is doctrinal matters that distinguish churches; and from them men call themselves Roman Catholics, Lutherans, and Calvinists, or the Reformed and the Evangelical, and by other names. It is from what is doctrinal alone that they are so called; which would never be if they would make love to the Lord and charity toward the neighbor the principal of faith. Doctrinal matters would then be only varieties of opinion concerning the mysteries of faith, which truly Christian men would leave to everyone to hold in accordance with his conscience, and would say in their hearts that a man is truly a Christian when he lives as a Christian, that is, as the Lord teaches. Thus from all the differing churches there would be made one church; and all the dissensions that come forth from doctrine alone would vanish; yea, all hatreds of one against another would be dissipated in a moment, and the Lord's kingdom would come upon the earth.
I was truly in love with you and the person you were. I was amazed at the love and compassion you have for children and all I wanted was to share that love with you. Do you remember when I was there that friday and we put in the dvd for the kids and it was Marvin the Tap Dancing Horse? You were laughing because I knew the theme song. I have no children of my own but I am always around my friends and families children and I love children so much. I had even been with a young lady for awhile who has 5 children but she chose drugs over her children until recently. Her mother adored me for calling her daughter out on the drugs. I went so far as to go after her drug dealer and send her pictures at the crackhouse she was staying at of what drugs would do to her. You may think that this blog is extreme and a little over the top but you truly do not know the things I have done for the people I care about. You are missing the point of this blog and all the things I am doing if you think that I am doing it to hurt you. When this young lady was hanging out doing drugs one of her kids was really sick and in the hospital. I remember going to see him and his mother didnt even see him and I went so I could give him a birthday present. This was 7 years ago. She shaped up and got married to a nice serviceman. Her mother still contacts me sometimes and she and I will always be friends. I am always there for people Rachel. The reason I wanted a family with you is because I love you and Jonathan. I felt that my time, my love, and energy would be well spent devoting my life for you. Sure I would miss Texas and all the music and entertainment that is easily accessible but I would be happy going geocaching with you, watching Jonathan grow, and going to the occasional show that did come by or maybe going to Vancouver or Victoria every once in awhile. I wanted to worship with you and was interested in the New Church theology but you turned me away. That didn't discourage me from studying it anyway. Rachel I really do love you and I just wish you and your family would take a second look at how much I love you. I wasn't looking for a girlfriend or anything when I met you but God came to me and said this is the one. Never give up on her, believe in her, give your heart and soul to her and love her lke you have love no other. I have shown you that even in adversity and pain I still love you unconditionally. You and Jonathan are the ones I would lay down my life for literally. I don't know what else to tell you other than when I finish my cd and start touring to let people know how much I love you and let the love spread from the story then. I would rather you and I talk though and I just want to tell you that I miss you. You can take the last year or so however you want. I have never stopped loving you or wanting to be with you. For whatever reason it is I feel like you were ashamed of me for being black, you didn't want to deal with the social stigma. I feel like you thought I wasn't attractive and maybe you couldnt just deal with the fact that I loved you and that was all that mattered after I saw the Ugly Loser thing on MSN. Maybe your family didnt like me or werent willing to really know me. I was sad when I came to see you but Rachel never unhappy. It was the happiest time of my life I was with my best friend and her family and I never wanted to leave you. I would have sold everything and dropped it all if you had of let me to be with you and Jonathan. That is how much I love you. You were my dearest friend and the person I trusted most with my heart, my secrets, and my love. That is Why I Wanted A Family With You. Right Now My Father is in the Hospital Rachel and I am only 36 he has been sick for awhile too. Imagine losing both your parents within a year which I am afraid might happen. I lost my mother, the girl that I love meaning you Rachel and then it would just be me and my brother. You making peace with me right now would mean so much I love you with all my heart so I am reaching out to you to look deep into your heart and believe in me and believe in the love you have in your heart. I am telling you the truth. I love you so much Rachel Myatt I leave you with this song by Tsunami Bomb called "Swimming Through Molasses" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E1lLsP8j5j8 It is special to me because no matter what life throws at me I end up stronger and just keep fighting. Rachel you are truly special to me. I have never fought so hard to show someone I love them. My friends and family have reached out to you and the Church and I have never done so much to prove to someone I am worthy of loving them. I do love you so much and you just wont open your eyes and see it. I keep praying and believing in God and I believe in you. Have a blessed day.
Hebrews 11:6
And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Arcana Coelestia 1799.4 In the Christian world it is doctrinal matters that distinguish churches; and from them men call themselves Roman Catholics, Lutherans, and Calvinists, or the Reformed and the Evangelical, and by other names. It is from what is doctrinal alone that they are so called; which would never be if they would make love to the Lord and charity toward the neighbor the principal of faith. Doctrinal matters would then be only varieties of opinion concerning the mysteries of faith, which truly Christian men would leave to everyone to hold in accordance with his conscience, and would say in their hearts that a man is truly a Christian when he lives as a Christian, that is, as the Lord teaches. Thus from all the differing churches there would be made one church; and all the dissensions that come forth from doctrine alone would vanish; yea, all hatreds of one against another would be dissipated in a moment, and the Lord's kingdom would come upon the earth.
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