Dear Rachel,
I write this blog everday as a tribute to my love for you and Jonathan. When you left me you asked me if you thought my love for you was ever a mistake on the phone. My love for you has and never will be a mistake that is why I am still here. I am in the final steps of making my story a worldwide reality. I have the story just the way I want. It is all truth and all things that we said and did to each other. I have started taking guitar lessons(I do know how to play already) so that I can learn the modal method on the guitar so that I can finish up the songs on the "Letters to Rachel" Cd to be mastered and recorded. Rachel Myatt I really love you and I am sorry that you can't find it in your heart to pick up the phone and make peace with me. You are the one who hurt me. You said I hurt you and didn't respect you. You didn't respect me at all. I loved you, believed in you, I was willing to give up my life and livelihood to love and be with you and Jonathan. Did you ever think of how much I would have given up to be with you. I would be going from a place that had everything I could think of to a place that was beautiful, simple, and necessary. I loved being in Dawson Creek but you never asked me. I loved being with you and your family and most of all I love you and Jonathan. If you didn't want a relationship you should have never said you wanted to be in one. You have to remember in this life that other people than you have feelings. Just because you want to do something and be selfish doesn't mean its not going to affect you. If I truly wanted to be selfish and be mean to you I could of. I had lots of ways to do that but vengeance and revenge on that level were never what I wanted. I only wanted to show you a mirror of how you treat people. If I didn't love you I wouldn't give you the time of day. There would be no worldwide campaign, no blog, no "Letters to Rachel". Stop and think about it Rachel, if you are reading this and have been keeping up I write this blog almost every other day. Is that not someone who cares about you? Someone who would dedicate a couple of minutes to you out of his day to tell you what is on his mind. My blog is public so anyone in the world can read it so I have been sharing my deepest and most utmost feelings and pain with people all over the place. You know what though? I don't care because I have always been secure with who I am and my feelings. Just because I was weakened by my Mothers passing and not 100% didn't mean I wasn't happy or that I wasn't having fun with you. I was just in shock and I was trying to get a feel for you and your family. I wasn't the loud happy person I usually was I was quiet and reserved. I love you and Jonathan so much and you would rather keep hurting me everyday then making peace with me and us being in each others lives again. I want to take a moment to talk to you about something that I believe you do have in you - Courage
Rachel when I was 17 an album came out by a Canadian band called the Tragically Hip called "Fully Completely" it was the breakthrough album for them in the States because not a lot of people had heard of them . They played the song "Courage" on the rock and alternative stations here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOgFnO4EXRg When you hurt me I thought of that little 17 year old boy who loved women so much and was always being rejected. I wrote them songs, I was a friend who wasn't trying to get in their pants but my dream was to fall in love and get married. The Tragically Hip meant a lot to me because that album and Liz Phair's "Exile in Guyville"(here is a song about putting down someone who loves you called the "Divorce Song" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssql3nT4zVE ) helped me to love women always be honest with them and to love them for who they were. A couple months later I asked a girl out to prom named Christy and she rejected me I was very heart broken. I went to the prom alone I sat a table alone ate my raspberry tort and cried. I knew I was a great guy and because I wasn't the most popular or the most attractive I spent most of my time alone. I graduated and 6 months later I got a phone call from Christy saying that she was sorry that she had treated me the way that she did and she thought I was a great guy she was just ashamed of what others would think being with me. It was then and there I knew the power and love I had and that always being honest and true to myself would set me free. I never forgot that lesson and Rachel I am not forgetting it with you. I believe in you. I care deeply for you but if you want to keep ignoring me and pretend like nothing ever happened between us that is fine. I am going to live my life. I am going to finish my book, I am going to finish my songs, and I am going to put them out there. I am courageous, I am humble, I am loving, I am beautiful and I never needed Rachel Myatt to help me define that. I needed Rachel Myatt because I loved her , respected her, cared for her, and believed in her. I am sorry you couldn't afford me the same especially at my time of grieving. Do you realize that everytime someone reads this blog they read about you? They also read sometimes about the New Church and the way I describe their teachings from my dealings with you and the Pastors. So by not showing the courage to forgive and forget especially to someone who grants you the same you are being a witness for both yourself and your Church. Everything you do in life Rachel has a reaction to your action. You may think you can just hide and this will just eventually go away and it would if you had the courage to forgive me. Instead I am not afraid of my feelings for you. I am not afraid to write. I am not afraid to bear my soul to the world about you and that is what is about to happen because you didn't have the courage to forgive and make peace with someone who you said you loved and wanted to be with. You shared your heart, your soul, your bed, and all those things with me and then treated me like a leper. Still I have my hand out to make peace with you and I love you with all my heart. I love you and Jonathan and not a day goes by when I don't look at your picture and pray and hope that one day you will call and we can reconcile. I want to end this talking about the most Courageous Man of all....... The Lord Jesus Christ
Christ was always humble. He always went against the teachings of hate, of evil, and of the unjust. He forgave those who tormented Him, He forgave all of us for being sinners through His sacrifice, He loves us unconditionally regardless of how much we sin or the extent of the sin. We can all be redeemend and renewed through His Love. I ask you at this moment Rachel Myatt how are you following Christ example by being cruel to me. I gave up all the pain and hurt you gave to me to just put myself out here to thousands of people and profess my love for you. I ask for your forgiveness everyday. I have written your Church on such matters. I pray and ask God for His guidance and for you to eventually forgive me and comeback into my life. Are you being courageous and humble Rachel Myatt? What will it take to see I truly love you and that God has put this love in my heart for you and it only gets stronger. You said you would be there for me, that you didn't care what your family thought, and that you would accept me for all that I was even after all that I had been through. You didn't you abandoned me and cursed me and used free will as an excuse. I use my free will constantly to show you I love you and I seek God's will, Christ Love to forgive, reconcile, and move on. Life is to short to be mad at those we love. We spent all that time and love and in a couple of minutes you threw it all away. Why? I don't know why you want to live your life like this but its your life to live. It is also my choice to keep loving you and spread this story worldwide because that is my healing process. Maybe one day you will actually take a look at what a great guy I was to you and how much I needed you and Jonathan and loved and wanted to be with you. I am just sorry it hasn't been lately. I believe in myself and that is all I need and with God's love you are about to see what happens when someone forgives and loves you and you can't do the same. God's love just grows in that person more and I wont do anything but love you Rachel Myatt. I wish you would come back and do the same. Nothing is going to stop me from my dreams now and I wanted you as part of that and you played with and abandoned me so now my dream is to show you I love you worldwide and what you missed out on and that I truly love you and Jonathan. If you loved me ever or at all you would set me free and forgive and make peace with me.......... You can make excuses in your life for things you do Rachel and not accept responsibility or you can rise to the occasion and admit your mistakes, your wrong doings, your accomplishments, and your wins. All I ever did was love and believe in you and I am proud of that and that I am still doing it.
You didn't appreciate my honesty, my love, my commitment to you and your son. My willingness to give up everything. You didn't care about all the tears and pain you caused me. All I did was believe in you and love you and one day you will realize how your cruelty and attitude affected me. I hope you will change because I will never hate you or stop loving you the way you turned your back on me, hated me , and stopped loving me Rachel Myatt
1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.
Matthew 5:11-12
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you
I write this blog everday as a tribute to my love for you and Jonathan. When you left me you asked me if you thought my love for you was ever a mistake on the phone. My love for you has and never will be a mistake that is why I am still here. I am in the final steps of making my story a worldwide reality. I have the story just the way I want. It is all truth and all things that we said and did to each other. I have started taking guitar lessons(I do know how to play already) so that I can learn the modal method on the guitar so that I can finish up the songs on the "Letters to Rachel" Cd to be mastered and recorded. Rachel Myatt I really love you and I am sorry that you can't find it in your heart to pick up the phone and make peace with me. You are the one who hurt me. You said I hurt you and didn't respect you. You didn't respect me at all. I loved you, believed in you, I was willing to give up my life and livelihood to love and be with you and Jonathan. Did you ever think of how much I would have given up to be with you. I would be going from a place that had everything I could think of to a place that was beautiful, simple, and necessary. I loved being in Dawson Creek but you never asked me. I loved being with you and your family and most of all I love you and Jonathan. If you didn't want a relationship you should have never said you wanted to be in one. You have to remember in this life that other people than you have feelings. Just because you want to do something and be selfish doesn't mean its not going to affect you. If I truly wanted to be selfish and be mean to you I could of. I had lots of ways to do that but vengeance and revenge on that level were never what I wanted. I only wanted to show you a mirror of how you treat people. If I didn't love you I wouldn't give you the time of day. There would be no worldwide campaign, no blog, no "Letters to Rachel". Stop and think about it Rachel, if you are reading this and have been keeping up I write this blog almost every other day. Is that not someone who cares about you? Someone who would dedicate a couple of minutes to you out of his day to tell you what is on his mind. My blog is public so anyone in the world can read it so I have been sharing my deepest and most utmost feelings and pain with people all over the place. You know what though? I don't care because I have always been secure with who I am and my feelings. Just because I was weakened by my Mothers passing and not 100% didn't mean I wasn't happy or that I wasn't having fun with you. I was just in shock and I was trying to get a feel for you and your family. I wasn't the loud happy person I usually was I was quiet and reserved. I love you and Jonathan so much and you would rather keep hurting me everyday then making peace with me and us being in each others lives again. I want to take a moment to talk to you about something that I believe you do have in you - Courage
Rachel when I was 17 an album came out by a Canadian band called the Tragically Hip called "Fully Completely" it was the breakthrough album for them in the States because not a lot of people had heard of them . They played the song "Courage" on the rock and alternative stations here. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MOgFnO4EXRg When you hurt me I thought of that little 17 year old boy who loved women so much and was always being rejected. I wrote them songs, I was a friend who wasn't trying to get in their pants but my dream was to fall in love and get married. The Tragically Hip meant a lot to me because that album and Liz Phair's "Exile in Guyville"(here is a song about putting down someone who loves you called the "Divorce Song" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ssql3nT4zVE ) helped me to love women always be honest with them and to love them for who they were. A couple months later I asked a girl out to prom named Christy and she rejected me I was very heart broken. I went to the prom alone I sat a table alone ate my raspberry tort and cried. I knew I was a great guy and because I wasn't the most popular or the most attractive I spent most of my time alone. I graduated and 6 months later I got a phone call from Christy saying that she was sorry that she had treated me the way that she did and she thought I was a great guy she was just ashamed of what others would think being with me. It was then and there I knew the power and love I had and that always being honest and true to myself would set me free. I never forgot that lesson and Rachel I am not forgetting it with you. I believe in you. I care deeply for you but if you want to keep ignoring me and pretend like nothing ever happened between us that is fine. I am going to live my life. I am going to finish my book, I am going to finish my songs, and I am going to put them out there. I am courageous, I am humble, I am loving, I am beautiful and I never needed Rachel Myatt to help me define that. I needed Rachel Myatt because I loved her , respected her, cared for her, and believed in her. I am sorry you couldn't afford me the same especially at my time of grieving. Do you realize that everytime someone reads this blog they read about you? They also read sometimes about the New Church and the way I describe their teachings from my dealings with you and the Pastors. So by not showing the courage to forgive and forget especially to someone who grants you the same you are being a witness for both yourself and your Church. Everything you do in life Rachel has a reaction to your action. You may think you can just hide and this will just eventually go away and it would if you had the courage to forgive me. Instead I am not afraid of my feelings for you. I am not afraid to write. I am not afraid to bear my soul to the world about you and that is what is about to happen because you didn't have the courage to forgive and make peace with someone who you said you loved and wanted to be with. You shared your heart, your soul, your bed, and all those things with me and then treated me like a leper. Still I have my hand out to make peace with you and I love you with all my heart. I love you and Jonathan and not a day goes by when I don't look at your picture and pray and hope that one day you will call and we can reconcile. I want to end this talking about the most Courageous Man of all....... The Lord Jesus Christ
Christ was always humble. He always went against the teachings of hate, of evil, and of the unjust. He forgave those who tormented Him, He forgave all of us for being sinners through His sacrifice, He loves us unconditionally regardless of how much we sin or the extent of the sin. We can all be redeemend and renewed through His Love. I ask you at this moment Rachel Myatt how are you following Christ example by being cruel to me. I gave up all the pain and hurt you gave to me to just put myself out here to thousands of people and profess my love for you. I ask for your forgiveness everyday. I have written your Church on such matters. I pray and ask God for His guidance and for you to eventually forgive me and comeback into my life. Are you being courageous and humble Rachel Myatt? What will it take to see I truly love you and that God has put this love in my heart for you and it only gets stronger. You said you would be there for me, that you didn't care what your family thought, and that you would accept me for all that I was even after all that I had been through. You didn't you abandoned me and cursed me and used free will as an excuse. I use my free will constantly to show you I love you and I seek God's will, Christ Love to forgive, reconcile, and move on. Life is to short to be mad at those we love. We spent all that time and love and in a couple of minutes you threw it all away. Why? I don't know why you want to live your life like this but its your life to live. It is also my choice to keep loving you and spread this story worldwide because that is my healing process. Maybe one day you will actually take a look at what a great guy I was to you and how much I needed you and Jonathan and loved and wanted to be with you. I am just sorry it hasn't been lately. I believe in myself and that is all I need and with God's love you are about to see what happens when someone forgives and loves you and you can't do the same. God's love just grows in that person more and I wont do anything but love you Rachel Myatt. I wish you would come back and do the same. Nothing is going to stop me from my dreams now and I wanted you as part of that and you played with and abandoned me so now my dream is to show you I love you worldwide and what you missed out on and that I truly love you and Jonathan. If you loved me ever or at all you would set me free and forgive and make peace with me.......... You can make excuses in your life for things you do Rachel and not accept responsibility or you can rise to the occasion and admit your mistakes, your wrong doings, your accomplishments, and your wins. All I ever did was love and believe in you and I am proud of that and that I am still doing it.
You didn't appreciate my honesty, my love, my commitment to you and your son. My willingness to give up everything. You didn't care about all the tears and pain you caused me. All I did was believe in you and love you and one day you will realize how your cruelty and attitude affected me. I hope you will change because I will never hate you or stop loving you the way you turned your back on me, hated me , and stopped loving me Rachel Myatt
1 Corinthians 16:13
Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be courageous; be strong.
Matthew 5:11-12
11 “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. 12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you
No comments:
Post a Comment