My Last Words

Dear Rachel,
I took my last walk down the street of Dallas. It was lonely and cold. I went to see Frank Turner and I thought of you. The girls at the door must of saw the tears in my eyes cause they let me in free I pulled out my money but they let me go in. I stayed for about 45 minutes but I couldnt even enjoy it. I will leave you one of his songs to remember me by. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mKkIysX2Bow Its called "I Still Believe" I always believed in you but I wasnt worth your love or time you just abused mine.  You would rather see me dead than just make peace with me and in my heart since last September that is where I have been.  I would go on dates but barely be able to look a woman in the eyes.  I look at kids and hurt cause I think of how much I love Jonathan. I am in pain constantly because every time I think of how much my mother loved you and cared about you I think of how you spit on her last words to me.  I loved you as my closest friend , I told you everything and my last blog was me being the person you want to see. You want me angry and to get mad at you and to just go away but I just cant be that person. It was God's will for me to be with you Rachel and when we don't adhere to Gods will we either give way to evil or we wither away. I was always kind to you and I traveled so far and believed in you always. Why do you hate me so much? Is it because I never gave up on you? Is it because I desired to be with only you and truly thought you were the most beautiful person ever? Why would you constantly put down my faith and my love of God. When all I did was accept yours!  I can no longer live in a world where someone would play with my heart and emotions on the scale that you did and then hate me so much that when I ask them to forgive me in person or on the phone they cant even be brave enough to do that . I dont want to live in a place where someone I love with all my heart denies me her love and friendship and thinks so little of me. No one wanted me to give up but when I reached out to you Rachel both last year when I lost my mom and tonight you didnt care. You dont care if I live or die. So I just wanted to say one last time that I love you and Jonathan.  I love your family and I love you. I had no more tears to give and no one to turn to. You mocked my prayers and love of God and so why even care anymore. I am sorry for everything I did to hurt you........... You were my sister in Christ, the Love of My life and the best friend I ever had. I am sorry for believing in you.

When you have Thanksgiving just remember how cruel you were to me and when I am gone you can be thankful for that because you finally got what you wanted. I am sorry I ever met you and loved you Rachel Myatt you are the most hateful person I have ever met and I cant believe the way you treat people. You messed with my dreams, my heart, my emotions on a level I can never forget and all I asked you for was forgiveness and reconcilation.

You are selfish and inconsiderate. You are a horrible person that would mock a grieving person and a person that would come so far and do so much for you. You are evil and you dont even know what it is to truly love and be a true friend. You have no morality, no honor, you are pious, prideful, and self indulged. If someone needed me and wanted to make peace with me my hand is always out. I could have done so many things to get back at you and I didn't because I love you and your family. I hope one day you look in the mirror at what a hurtful and spiteful person you are Rachel Myatt but I guess the Bible says it best as it sets up the Golden Rule.

Matthew 7:12-14
¹² So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. ¹³ “Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. ¹⁴ But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it.

You are so afraid of actually loving and caring about someone when it came to you you freaked out and messed it up. After all the stories you told me about men that didnt accept you and love you and I accepted both your religion and your heart. After Jonathan's Dad not wanting to be in a relationship with you and I wanted to be there to be with you and him and I truly meant that. Did I deserve to be treated and lead on like you did to me. Do you understand why all this is happening to you because you are not nice, you are not kind, you are not trustworthy, and you are selfish Rachel Myatt and through all this crap I have still loved you unconditionally and truthfully. But you dont want to see that do you. You would rather be hateful and spiteful than to just make peace with me even after your Pastor tried to help. Bless Pastor Glenn for his kind efforts and help. Praise and Amen!!!!!!! Before I end this I want to say first of all about you making fun of me a year ago and calling me manipulative. Screw you, you know what you are the one who is manipulative because you make people think you are a nice Christian woman but you are not. You lie, you twist things around, you try to make others look at fault to make up for your own indecision and insecurities.  So you can make that comment all you want but you manipulated me. I loved you and was willing to be in a loving relationship with you and never pushed you. You were the one who let me come, you were the one who decided to date me. All I did was love you and want to be with you and when you made a mess of your lies you tried to pin it on me and then call me mentally ill and damaged because you wanted your family to think I was crazy and that was grounds for you to do the screwed up things you did to me. So in that regards you are evil, you are treacherous and a snake.  Pastor Glenn if you are reading this I want you to know I put my all into being nice to Rachel and this is what she would rather have than just picking up the phone and talking to me or having me come out and sit and have a heart to heart because she cant face the truth of her lies but I am going to put her lies on display everywhere now so that she sees the error of her unkindness, her selfishness, and her uncharibility. The reason why came to the Church before I did anything was Rachel's bigotry and her belief that she could do anything she wanted with no consequences. Is that a New Church teaching Pastor Glenn? Because if it is then you and I know that is both wrong and she is jaded and misguided and needs to be taught otherwise.  I am sorry.
One day Rachel Myatt you are going to look around at all the people you hurt, all the people you lie to, and all the chances you had to make things right with others and see what a horrible person you have been.  I thought in you I saw the potential for good but I was mistaken. I thought in you I saw the potential for love. I was mistaken. I thought in you I saw the love of God but instead I see love of oneself  and the only thing in that is evil.   If you were truly sorry you would be brave and right the wrongs in your life. All my former enemies are friends or at least people I can be civil with.  I have the courage and the insight for forgiveness.  People all over Dawson Creek, Pouce Coupe, Prince George, and the Peace River area are going to know of your story. I have already spread the word as of today.  I want you to know how bad you hurt me. I want others to know just how mean and cruel you are. I want it to be where you finally look in the mirror and see how selfish you are and how vain and cruel you are. I have loved you so much and prayed for you every night.  For months I even had an ad running about how much I love you but I be you didn't even know. http://peace.en.craigslist.ca/mis/2628151963.html Yes Rachel since before easter and it was even longer than that before.  You never appreciated me. You will never know how much I love you. You are not a nice person. I feel sorry for Jonathan that he has such a selfish mother.  I thought the world of your mother and I hope you eventually aspire to be kind and loving like Mrs Jane. When all this comes crashing at your doorstep just remember I had nothing but love for you. I spent so much time worrying about you, praying about you, and caring about you. You never deserved any of it.  I was not your pen pal to throw away. I was your dear friend, your boyfriend, I am a human being with real feelings, and I do exist.  So I am also including all the pictures you sent me with every story I tell from the ones of you, Jonathan, your parents and everything because I want people to know how much I loved all of you and how selfish Rachel Myatt was to abuse that love and friendship. While Pastor Glenn may try to stand up for your thin veiled selfish and hateful attitude I will no longer keep it a secret. I am sorry that he would have such input from someone who doesnt know how to forgive and who teaches her son not to say he is sorry for anything.  Jesus taught compassion, He taught forgiveness, He taught humbleness none of which you exhibit.  So I no longer care what I tell others about you and who it gets sent to or what. You would be surprized what I know about your city and the people there and you cant hide from your wrong doing now. I gave you a chance. I was kind. I was long suffering. I went to your Church, Your Pastor, I went to God.  Now its just time to put it all out in the open.  Until last night I mostly held back on calling you things because I didn't want to stoop to that level. I will never write another blog like I did last night because its not me. I have nothing but love for you Rachel Myatt but those things needed to be said. You started this by being evil, hateful, and inconsiderate so now you can stew in the consequences. I tried to be civil, loving, and caring but all you want is an enemy and a war. So you are about to get that but my war is one of love, truth, and real justice.  So if you didn't want all your personal details out in the open its too late because I have put it all out there.  So long and thanks for all the hate, hurt, and lies. Pastor Glenn has my number so if you ever want to be civil and be adults about things and talk I am here but you want to play this childish game and hide because you think no one will no about you or your lies in Dawson Creek well honey let me tell you I have so much information that you wouldn't believe and all I am going to spread is the truth so everyone will know. The I Love Rachel Myatt Peace River Campaign has just begun and who gets the information will be a surprize to you. Thanks for all the lies and incondsideration. I am not sorry for telling the truth. Am I angry. Yes because I was so full of love for this person and they cant even face up to any of the things they did. I came at her with love but that is something she doesnt understand but she does understand how to be mean so maybe I should trade my kind heart and love for her and replace it with hate, evil , and revenge. The only one who is going to look silly in the end is you Rachel people are already looking at this blog and other things thinking what mean person someone truly loves her that much and she cant even make peace with him. So if that is what you want and you want to look like that fine.  So be it. I am not going to back down and I am just going to keep doing more. Good Day