Rachel and Jonathan

Rachel and Jonathan
I Love you and Always Will

Sunday, October 2, 2011

Burying the Hatchet

Dearest Rachel,

I just got done writing a response to a reply Pastor Coleman left me.  I wanted to say thanks to him first for having the courage and the insight to reply to me. I have nothing but respect for him. So with that said I want you to know some things Rachel and I hope you will respond.

1. I have loved you from the moment I saw you, I love you with all my being, all my heart. It is not just romantic love, it is agape, it is friendly, it is as my sister.  You are my best friend. Everyday that you ignore me and we are apart my heart breaks a little more.

2. I am sorry for anything I did to hurt you but I did what I thought best at the time and maybe you did too but I need you to know that I do love you with all my heart and if you pick up the phone and call me I want to rebuild our friendship. We may never be as close as we were or maybe thing happened to bring us closer but all I know is that you are the love of my life and I love you and Jonathan so much. I gave the Pastor my phone number to give to you it is the same as it was before. I hope that you have the courage to text me and forgive and reconcile with me. I am sad without you as my friend

3. I wanted to be one with you in the Lord and I wanted to seriously worship with you and that is what hurt me the most. I wanted to build a family and have children with you and only you. I wanted to give you and Jonathan all of me and give any foster kids that we raised together hope and all of my love. I was living for that you didn't know how much taking care of the kids with you meant to me that day.  I need and want a family but I only wanted it to be with you and Jonathan.

4. I just want to tell you I love you and I ask for your forgiveness, your friendship, and your love. I ask that you come back into my life. I ask God to give us that blessing and to put all that scares us about each other aside.  I do still love you, I would still walk the earth for you, and until you bury the hatchet and release me into your good graces I will continue to seek reconciliation and forgiveness with you.


5. I love you and all your family and I hope you all understand how much I love Rachel Myatt and that I wont give up on her and I still believe in her and that she loves me and that she thinks about me and reads this blog and knows she is the person that has the key to my heart.  I didn't just want a relationship with you I wanted it to be in the Lord and everyday I still pray for that. I love you sister.

I have nothing more to say but that I will keep trying and if I have to go every country in the world. If I have to make a video on every internet channel or radio station psa to tell you how much I love you and wish you would come back that is what I will do.  If you love me or ever loved me Rachel Myatt put away what is keeping you from me and come back to your true friend. I love you and Jonathan and your family and I pray for nothing but blessings and God's grace and mercy.

Lies and Evil always have a way of catching up to you so you can continue to avoid me and believe that nothing will happen because of what you done or you and I can make peace and then you can be at peace with yourself. If you truly cared and knew the love of Christ then you would understand me and my perspective after all the hurtful things you did to me, leading me on, lying to me, and pretending to want to be with me and then insulting my family and my livelihood I am still loving you.  But if you prefer to keep ignoring that its your choice and you can live with the upcoming consequences. All I ever did was love you and believe in you.

If you truly love me or ever did at all then set me free by forgiving me and let me forgive you. I miss you but the only way I will ever be free is if I hear it from you. I am just a phone call away and my heart and my love is always there for you. Please put all the hurt and pain aside and come back. You can continue to hate me or rise above and see that I was meant to love you and I have never turned my back on you. Faithfully through thick and thin I have cared about you and loved you unconditionally

You can't base peoples behavior on how that have behaved on how they are going behave!

I am hoping Rachel Myatt that you have changed and you have taken the time to see I really love you and I would do anything for you and Jonathan. You can continue to hide and just read my blog or you can know you have a man that thinks about you everyday. The one that thinks you are the most beautiful person in the world. The one that loves you and your son as his own body. The one that loves you for all you are. You can continue to hold a grudge and be scared to talk to me and keep me out or your life but truth be told. I love you, I loved hearing about your day. I loved being in your arms and most of all Rachel Myatt I love you and each day you deny me your love, your forgiveness, and your kindness is another day I give up hope in the good in humanity as a whole

I want you to know your actions toward me, leading me on, lying to me, and treating me cruel and unkind when I had just lost my mother have shaped my life. My heart was full of love and happiness but after what you did I have been broken and ruined.  You want to pretend like nothing ever happened, but it did. I truly loved you Rachel Myatt and someday you will realize what your hurt and actions really did. I wish you no harm and hurt though like you did me. I thought in you I had a true friend.

love
B

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