Dear Rachel,
As you sit around with your family today and celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada are you truly living a life that is one God would look favorably on? You have a someone who loves you who for over a year now you ignore, deny forgiveness, and can't even talk to. I was always thankful for you in my life and I appreciated you and all that you were. I don't know what I did to not receive the same. I never knew what I did to deserve to be made fun of and put down because I lost a parent. I never knew what I did for you to call me damaged, mentally ill, and sick when I was just a man who was mourning the loss of my mother. I came to you because I was thankful that I had someone who said they loved me and who having her and her son to love would help me through that troubled time. She said she was there for me but instead turned her back on me and was cruel and inconsiderate. It was never the Rachel Myatt that I had come to love. All I know is that I love you and my only wish for Christmas if I make it that far being sick is that you and I make peace. What man has gone out of his way to do so much to show you he loves you? Have you ever thought about that? You were my reason for not giving up because if I had of layed down and died I would have hurt you. I would have never got a chance to make peace with you and show you how much I truly care and need to be with you. I don't think I will die from what I have but there have been days when I have felt like it. If I completely recover then I want to know that you were brave enough to let the past go and maybe go back and read some of these blogs in the next week and see they were never about how much I hate you and want to get back at you. They were about how much I love you and was willing to show the world. I love you Rachel Myatt and today I will just say Happy Thanksgiving to all the Myatts, Friesens, and Bakers. I wish you all the most blessed day. I love you and Jonathan with all my heart Rachel and everyday you ignore me and we don't make peace is another day I hurt and feel like I don't and never mattered to you. I miss you and I wish you knew how much. God Bless.
Psalm 136:1
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.I also wanted to leave a Christian song for you. Maybe you ran because you never had someone love you and believe in you as much as I do. I love you with all my heart and if I didn't I wouldn't still be here. You are the person who I would give it all to and so I dedicate this song "Like I Love You" by Amy Grant to you Rachel. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4hraYGPSpQ It took me 5 years to be able to give my heart to anyone Rachel after all the hurt I had been through. You are the one I love with all my heart and its not just words on a screen or a letter I love you so much it hurts me everyday you hate me. All I ever did was love you and I don't know why I deserved this. I left that song because I would never leave you and Jonathan I would always be there I would have waited 5 yrs to marry you if that is what you wanted but all I wanted at the time was to keep being with you and be your boyfriend and best friend. I am trying so hard to make peace with you and everyday there are tears welled up in my eyes because I feel hated, unloved, and abandoned and it was harder not having my mom to talk to when you left me. I am sorry for whatever I did to hurt you but you really hurt me and still are hurting me everyday. You are worth every bit of pain though if God wants me to love you and I will stand and bear this burden and cross because I love you through Him. I love you Rachel Myatt if you read this today. I love you so much and I only want peace with you.
I wish you would look at all the good in what I am doing? All you ever focused on was the negative in our friendship and relationship. While I loved you for all you were flaws and all you kept finding negative things about me instead of see what was beautiful about me. Tune in tomorrow for a special blog that may help you reflect on what I just said. I love you.
As much as I love you I have had to call you out on a lot of things since you judged me and constantly found fault with me when all I did was love you and accept you. I hope you read this and the comments also it is a New Church Perspective Post. http://www.newchurchperspective.com/essays/2011/9/30/what-can-we-hate.html I wanted to worship with you and love you in the Lord and learn about your faith but you turned me away and were very judgemental and I refuse to let you make me a villian when all I did was believe in you and love you. God makes no mistakes and He has made sure I didn't turn my love for you into hate or into something more that would really hurt you. I do love you with all my heart Rachel Myatt I just wish you would stop running, ignoring me, and understand that its true and I will go to the ends of the earth and move heaven and earth for us to speak and be in each others life again. God called me to you Rachel and I can't forsake His calling. I haven't given up or walked away from His calling yet and I will continue to walk in His light and in His truth toward you even if I feel the evil sometimes about to take me over I don't I do love you and I can't make you truly love me though I know you do. I will just be patient like I was and let Him continue to do His work though other people to show you true love. http://www.newchurch.org/activities/newchurchlive/archives/gulp/index.html
As you sit around with your family today and celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada are you truly living a life that is one God would look favorably on? You have a someone who loves you who for over a year now you ignore, deny forgiveness, and can't even talk to. I was always thankful for you in my life and I appreciated you and all that you were. I don't know what I did to not receive the same. I never knew what I did to deserve to be made fun of and put down because I lost a parent. I never knew what I did for you to call me damaged, mentally ill, and sick when I was just a man who was mourning the loss of my mother. I came to you because I was thankful that I had someone who said they loved me and who having her and her son to love would help me through that troubled time. She said she was there for me but instead turned her back on me and was cruel and inconsiderate. It was never the Rachel Myatt that I had come to love. All I know is that I love you and my only wish for Christmas if I make it that far being sick is that you and I make peace. What man has gone out of his way to do so much to show you he loves you? Have you ever thought about that? You were my reason for not giving up because if I had of layed down and died I would have hurt you. I would have never got a chance to make peace with you and show you how much I truly care and need to be with you. I don't think I will die from what I have but there have been days when I have felt like it. If I completely recover then I want to know that you were brave enough to let the past go and maybe go back and read some of these blogs in the next week and see they were never about how much I hate you and want to get back at you. They were about how much I love you and was willing to show the world. I love you Rachel Myatt and today I will just say Happy Thanksgiving to all the Myatts, Friesens, and Bakers. I wish you all the most blessed day. I love you and Jonathan with all my heart Rachel and everyday you ignore me and we don't make peace is another day I hurt and feel like I don't and never mattered to you. I miss you and I wish you knew how much. God Bless.
Psalm 136:1
Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good. His love endures forever.I also wanted to leave a Christian song for you. Maybe you ran because you never had someone love you and believe in you as much as I do. I love you with all my heart and if I didn't I wouldn't still be here. You are the person who I would give it all to and so I dedicate this song "Like I Love You" by Amy Grant to you Rachel. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v4hraYGPSpQ It took me 5 years to be able to give my heart to anyone Rachel after all the hurt I had been through. You are the one I love with all my heart and its not just words on a screen or a letter I love you so much it hurts me everyday you hate me. All I ever did was love you and I don't know why I deserved this. I left that song because I would never leave you and Jonathan I would always be there I would have waited 5 yrs to marry you if that is what you wanted but all I wanted at the time was to keep being with you and be your boyfriend and best friend. I am trying so hard to make peace with you and everyday there are tears welled up in my eyes because I feel hated, unloved, and abandoned and it was harder not having my mom to talk to when you left me. I am sorry for whatever I did to hurt you but you really hurt me and still are hurting me everyday. You are worth every bit of pain though if God wants me to love you and I will stand and bear this burden and cross because I love you through Him. I love you Rachel Myatt if you read this today. I love you so much and I only want peace with you.
I wish you would look at all the good in what I am doing? All you ever focused on was the negative in our friendship and relationship. While I loved you for all you were flaws and all you kept finding negative things about me instead of see what was beautiful about me. Tune in tomorrow for a special blog that may help you reflect on what I just said. I love you.
As much as I love you I have had to call you out on a lot of things since you judged me and constantly found fault with me when all I did was love you and accept you. I hope you read this and the comments also it is a New Church Perspective Post. http://www.newchurchperspective.com/essays/2011/9/30/what-can-we-hate.html I wanted to worship with you and love you in the Lord and learn about your faith but you turned me away and were very judgemental and I refuse to let you make me a villian when all I did was believe in you and love you. God makes no mistakes and He has made sure I didn't turn my love for you into hate or into something more that would really hurt you. I do love you with all my heart Rachel Myatt I just wish you would stop running, ignoring me, and understand that its true and I will go to the ends of the earth and move heaven and earth for us to speak and be in each others life again. God called me to you Rachel and I can't forsake His calling. I haven't given up or walked away from His calling yet and I will continue to walk in His light and in His truth toward you even if I feel the evil sometimes about to take me over I don't I do love you and I can't make you truly love me though I know you do. I will just be patient like I was and let Him continue to do His work though other people to show you true love. http://www.newchurch.org/activities/newchurchlive/archives/gulp/index.html
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