Rachel and Jonathan

Rachel and Jonathan
I Love you and Always Will

Thursday, September 8, 2011

Rachel, You Were the One

Dearest Rachel,
You were the woman I would move Heaven and Earth for. Your voice was the song I wanted to hear every morning when I woke up. I wanted to love your son as my son and give him all the love and attention he needed that a man can give. He already has a wonderful mother.  I wanted to worship with you it didn't matter the religion as long as you and I grew closer to each other through Christ.  Your family was the one I wanted to love.  I wanted to give up my city, bachelor life for a life fulfilled with love and simplicity.  A life of love, happiness, and caring.  You were my best friend, the person I confided in, the most important woman I ever met besides my mother.  She thought the world of you. One of the last things I showed her before she died was the graduation picture you sent me of Jonathan. It still sits by my bed.  I wanted to be there for him as he developed through school.  I wanted to take him to his activities with you, watch him grow into a fine young man, and love him like my own flesh and blood.  You my dear Rachel I love you with all my heart.  There would have never been any argument or situation that we couldn't have gotten through with God on our side. I believe in you now even as we are so far away and so distant in heart.  I have never stopped loving you. I put my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and I will continue to show you that love.  I want you to know that nothing that I have done has been to hurt you but to prove to you just how far I would go to show you and let others know how much I love you.  I do not wish to slander, belittle you, or betray you. I just wanted you to think about what you really said and did to me and how I needed you to be there for me when you said you would.  I was always proud to have you as my girlfriend and I couldn't wait for you and Jonathan to come see me in Texas.  It would have been amazing I wanted to show you and take you to all these amazing places like you did for me when I was there.  Most of all I love you Rachel Myatt and Jonathan Myatt and not a day goes by when my heart isn't sad that you wont talk to me or that you don't know there is a man who loves you more than words can say.  I no longer desire to have a family or children because you hurt me that much.  All I wanted was to be with you and Jonathan.  See my dear Rachel, God instilled this love in my heart and a year later I am still here loving you, believing in you, and not giving up on you or Jonathan.  I never would. Maybe other men have failed you but I am not that man. I care for you and wanted you more than anything in the world but my heart was also pure for you.  If I had to give my life for you two I would gladly lay it down.  I will always live in the example of Christ to be loving, forgiving, and understanding.  I am sorry if I have caused you any pain with my attempts to let you know how much I love you. It was never meant that way.  I will not stop loving you though or trying.  Rachel Myatt I love you and I forgive everything.  I would take you back in a heart beat and never speak of any of the cruel things that either one of us did again. All you have to do is email or call me. I still have the same number and emails.  I have nothing but love and compassion for you. I want you to know one thing Rachel.  If you were scared of being loved then I understand that. I was never trying to rush you to marry me I would have taken all the time needed. I just wanted to love you and Jonathan and be with you. You already have my promise and that promise still stands. I will love you unconditionally and unwavering till the day I die even if you never talk to me again.  I know that you are a good person and that you will not let that happen. I know you care about me.  I pray for you and Jonathan every night before I go to bed.  I just ask God to keep watch over you and that I love you.  Nothing more and nothing less.   I wanted you to know this today Rachel.  You Were the One.  You are still the one.  You will always be the one I waited a lifetime to love and cherish.  I still ask of your forgiveness and that soon you come back to my heart. I am waiting with open arms and the past is just water under the bridge. Instead of let all the evil we did to each other consume me I let it inspire me to love you and reach out to you for forgiveness and reconciliation.  Forgiveness is the only true way to take up the Cross and follow Jesus example. I will always put God first not what other people want me to say or do. You spent so much time judging me instead of taking a look at how much I loved you. I loved doing everything we did I was just a little shy and broken. If I could have anything for Christmas this year again its peace with you. I don't want gifts, money, or material things.  I want you back as my best friend.  I love you with all my being. You mean so much to me Rachel and the fact that we loved so much and it became this is sad and petty. I will love you like the day I left you in fact I do and always will.


Dear Rachel I dedicate this song to you from one of my favorite Canadian bands Black Mountain they are from Vancouver, BC.  Its called Rollercoaster  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bv8pagYbjdc its beautiful and its about being there for people even when things seem rough. I have never given up on you and I truly love you. I hope your day is blessed. 

Luke 10:27
"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind’ ; and, ‘Love your neighbor as yourself."

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