Rachel and Jonathan

Rachel and Jonathan
I Love you and Always Will

Monday, September 19, 2011

Imagine: Put Yourself In My Shoes for A Moment Rachel

Dear Rachel,
I don't think you ever stopped to put yourself in my shoes at all. Believe it or not I cared enough about you to respect you and that is why before I walked away from you I asked you truthfully did you want to be with me. I am a man. I was able to take it. Instead you gave me a few days of false hope.  Text me on my job to upset me and didn't even have the courage to talk to me like a woman and just tell me how you felt. Yes I had a nervous breakdown, Yes I wanted to die. Did not mean I was crazy, did not mean I was damaged or unstable.  What was I? I was a man who loved you so much that against all odds and obstacles I loved you and wanted to be with you and you never appreciated that. Even with my mother dying 3 weeks before even she wanted me to start a new life with you. My family believed in you so much Rachel. So first off I am sending all your letters back. I will send you your pictures of Jonathan you sent me. Why have a picture of a kid who you love but whose mother hates you after she said she loved you? I'll send you back your Stompin Tom shirt and the Dawson Creek Tshirt because when you abandoned me they meant nothing to me.  I was wearing the DC shirt the day you abandoned me I was so proud of it and I wore it because I loved you and you ended up stabbing me in the back.  I'll send you back everything because you hate me so much and all I ever did was love you, believe in you and Jonathan, and you can't even make peace with me.  I will continue to write this blog, put up videos, and write songs.  You Church will continue to recieve blessings and good will from me because I don't put down other Christians like you do. I may not agree with them but a couple of my good friends are Catholic , Mormon, and Islamic but I would never do anything to call them stupid, idiotic, or make them feel lesser for their love of God like you did to me Rachel Myatt. You never deserved my friendship or my love. When people read my story online they said the same thing.  Here is a example from one site that had my story online and a comment that was left. http://www.experienceproject.com/stories/Have-A-Broken-Heart/1618978 Rachel Myatt you played with me and my desire to love and find happiness.  I was willing to cross any obstacle, any heartbreak, anything in the way to be with you.  What I got in return was cruelty and put downs. I should have sought revenge on you and got you good is what most people would say. Truth is I love you and Jonathan too much to ever be hateful and hurtful like that so I picked up my pen, my computer, my broken heart and shared this story as many places as I could. Is that a form of revenge? No I wanted you to know just how bad you hurt me, how cruel you were, and that yes I was about to die because the pain from my mother dying and you abandoning me after you said you loved me and wanted to be there for me was too much.  I am not ashamed of what I did.  I was not trying to manipulate you. It is how I felt and it was the truth.  You cruel remarks about me being damaged, sick, mentally ill, and other selfish hateful remarks were just bullshit to make up for your own lies and insecurities.  So now that I have went the world over asking you for forgiveness and showing you I love you. Can you respond? It looks like NO! Why not? It is because you don't even begin to understand the power of forgiveness, God's love, His forgiveness of our sins, or HIS call for us to follow in His footsteps. You let evil win in your life because you are so mean to people all the time. That is why no guy wants to put up with you.  You lie, you are mean to people, you make people hate your religion because you personify it through your own hateful actions. If you want me to prove this I can I can pull up your messenger conversations to me about religion. I am not on here to slander you or put you down. I am just here to make you think.  Even the person who said they hated me and never would talk to me again realized that she was wrong that I loved her for her and I only wanted to see her prosper in life. My ex Girlfriend of 8yrs ago acted much like you did she lives right here in my area but when I came back from Canada she emailed me and we made peace.  She realized taht I saw the abusive relationship she was in and offered her true love and friendship and she chose not to see it.  She told me of all the bad things that happend and I forgave her and asked for her forgiveness. I told her if she ever needed anything I would be right there and that I always loved her and still loved her.  That is the power of forgiveness. This lady lied to me about her age, she was a criminal, she cheated on me, then tried to deny we were going out ever much like you are trying to deny I exist and we ever loved each other. That is ok because even if you don't believe in punishment.  There is such a think as Karma and there is also evil. If you keep doing bad things to other people it will eventually be returned to you. I wish you no harm, no ill will, nothing bad to happen to you or your family but Rachel Myatt one day someone is going to hurt you really bad and you will remember not only that I loved you. I mean truly loved you like a sister, like a best friend, and my confidant.  My love for you and Jonathan is and always Unconditional and I would come back to you in a heartbeat because all that evil that happened I wash away because my love and friendship for you means much more to me than petty things that happened in the past. I am a leader not a follower.  I don't care what others say anymore.  I don't care if you Pastors cant hear or comprehend what I am saying. They keep making excuses for free will. I belive in free will too but I also believe in God's will that trumps my selfish existence and my selfish desires.  If I had of followed my selfish free will then I would have really gotten revenge on you and it would have been in the beginning but the love I have is patient, kind, and long suffering just like my Lord and I am still here Rachel Myatt.  I am ending this today with a song by STARS your fellow Canadians and how you made me feel when you abandoned me. Even after all that happened I am here for you open armed. I care deeply for you I am strong I have overcome it and I still love you. I love all my friends and family but Rachel Myatt how long will you and your family continue to hide. I am not hiding and I am right her in the open. I take full responsibility for everything I write say or send out. I am not afraid. I am unashamed. I love you unconditionally, unwavering, and with the Love of God. I ask you tonight for forgiveness Rachel Myatt pick up the phone or email me at hotmail.  I am not going anywhere and if you want another year of this I will go the miles to let you know I love you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RyrfGTYoM_s

To all the Myatts and Friesens I love Rachel Myatt your daughter, grandaughter, mother, sister, aunt, niece, cousin.  I send my love to all of you because I love her.  Blessings to all of you because I love her.  Love of God because it is through Christ I still love and care for her. I am not sorry that I met her, that I loved her and still love her. I apologise for nothing and if God didn't have a reason for this then I wouldn't be here

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