Dearest Rachel,
I want you to know that I care for you deeply and I love you with all my heart and I am not going to stop caring or loving you. It will ultimately be your choice to choose forgiveness or you can go on ignoring me but I wont ignore you. I won't go away. I am full of love and have a big heart. Its about 12:30 am here and 10:30 your time. Remember how I used to stay up late just to talk to you Ray Ray. I really miss you Rachel. Stop and think of how beautiful our friendship was and all the love that grew into us being boyfriend and girlfriend. I cared for you and Jonathan with all my heart and soul and you have severely hurt me. I put my trust in you after all the others had almost ruined what little love I had in my heart left. Then you came along and I believed you. A good Christian woman who wanted to be with me and have a family. I want you to understand the extent of your betrayal and the intensity of the hurt. Rachel you knew all I wanted was to have a family but I didn't just want it with anyone I wanted it with you. You have had a year to look back and reflect and I have nothing but love and forgiveness in my heart for you. I think about you and Jonathan everyday how I want to hold both of you again and be there with you. I have 3 things I want to say real quick in this blog.
1. I have never done this blog or my campaign to hurt you, demean you , or slander you. I have done it as a tribute to you and Jonathan and how much I love you. Though I do sometimes say harsh things on here. I love you. I care deeply for you and the intention has always been for us to make peace and at least be on speaking terms again.
2. You are my dearest friend andI will not give up on you. I am sorry if you feel overwhelmed or that I should just give up. God gave me this love and He is the one that held my hand and kept me from falling asleep in death. He told me to live on and continue to love Rachel. The rest is in His hands. He works in ways we cannot comprehend but there is a reason for all this Rachel and one reason is because God loves you. He wanted you to know that there is a man in me that deeply loves you, cares for you, and believes in you and all that you are. I can never love you like Jonathan or Mr. Myatt or Clayton but that is the kind of love I have for you. You are family to me and that is why I have never walked away from this love in my heart for you. Regardless of what I do say on here sometimes I do think the world of you.
3. I want to hear from you soon. Here is how much I love you Rachel so I am going to tell you right now how much I care about you and what I am willing to do to make peace with you. If I don't hear from you soon then I will get on a plane one saturday night fly to Dawson Creek and show up at your Church. It says all are welcome. If they turn me away they will fuel any fire that I do have about the New Church of Dawson Creek being unloving and uncaring. I will even call Pastor Glenn and tell him. If you want me to I will talk to him and I will ask if he will arrange a peace meeting between us and see if you will talk to me. It cost me $1000 dollars round trip to fly to Dawson Creek but I love you so much Rachel I would be willing to call your pastor. Sleep in a motel for a couple of hours. Sit in a room across a table and just talk to you. Then I would fly back home. That is how much I love and miss you Rachel Myatt. There is no money, no obstacle, no time or place I wouldn't go to to let you know that I love you with all my heart. I am sorry that other men hurt you and that you didn't understand how much I cared for you but now you know and that I am true and asking you for forgiveness and reconcilation. I hope in you reading this you will think about contacting me and making peace with me. I love you and that is all I really have to comment on. You played with my dream of having and being a family with you and Jonathan. That was my only dream. The first time I saw you I knew you were the one and I never had eyes for another lady since. I love you and your child and I don't know what else to say to you to get you to understand that I am willing to go to any length to forgive, forget, and move on. Someone truly loves you Rachel Myatt and I love you through Christ first and foremost.
You spent so much time judging me and finding flaws with me that you didn't see what was beautiful about me. You also wanted to abandon me without a care like you said on the phone to me last September and you threw the burden on God. He transformed me and for thinking only of what you wanted at the time this is what you are getting in return. He gave me the love and the strength to do all this even though you abandoned and cursed me when I needed you. You were my dearest friend and I would have never trusted my heart, my soul, and my body to anyone I didn't feel who didn't love the Lord, Rachel. You played with all of that. I don't want revenge on you or hurt I love you and want you to come back.
I spent all my time accepting your flaws and believing in the beauty of your imperfections.
love
B
I want you to know that I care for you deeply and I love you with all my heart and I am not going to stop caring or loving you. It will ultimately be your choice to choose forgiveness or you can go on ignoring me but I wont ignore you. I won't go away. I am full of love and have a big heart. Its about 12:30 am here and 10:30 your time. Remember how I used to stay up late just to talk to you Ray Ray. I really miss you Rachel. Stop and think of how beautiful our friendship was and all the love that grew into us being boyfriend and girlfriend. I cared for you and Jonathan with all my heart and soul and you have severely hurt me. I put my trust in you after all the others had almost ruined what little love I had in my heart left. Then you came along and I believed you. A good Christian woman who wanted to be with me and have a family. I want you to understand the extent of your betrayal and the intensity of the hurt. Rachel you knew all I wanted was to have a family but I didn't just want it with anyone I wanted it with you. You have had a year to look back and reflect and I have nothing but love and forgiveness in my heart for you. I think about you and Jonathan everyday how I want to hold both of you again and be there with you. I have 3 things I want to say real quick in this blog.
1. I have never done this blog or my campaign to hurt you, demean you , or slander you. I have done it as a tribute to you and Jonathan and how much I love you. Though I do sometimes say harsh things on here. I love you. I care deeply for you and the intention has always been for us to make peace and at least be on speaking terms again.
2. You are my dearest friend andI will not give up on you. I am sorry if you feel overwhelmed or that I should just give up. God gave me this love and He is the one that held my hand and kept me from falling asleep in death. He told me to live on and continue to love Rachel. The rest is in His hands. He works in ways we cannot comprehend but there is a reason for all this Rachel and one reason is because God loves you. He wanted you to know that there is a man in me that deeply loves you, cares for you, and believes in you and all that you are. I can never love you like Jonathan or Mr. Myatt or Clayton but that is the kind of love I have for you. You are family to me and that is why I have never walked away from this love in my heart for you. Regardless of what I do say on here sometimes I do think the world of you.
3. I want to hear from you soon. Here is how much I love you Rachel so I am going to tell you right now how much I care about you and what I am willing to do to make peace with you. If I don't hear from you soon then I will get on a plane one saturday night fly to Dawson Creek and show up at your Church. It says all are welcome. If they turn me away they will fuel any fire that I do have about the New Church of Dawson Creek being unloving and uncaring. I will even call Pastor Glenn and tell him. If you want me to I will talk to him and I will ask if he will arrange a peace meeting between us and see if you will talk to me. It cost me $1000 dollars round trip to fly to Dawson Creek but I love you so much Rachel I would be willing to call your pastor. Sleep in a motel for a couple of hours. Sit in a room across a table and just talk to you. Then I would fly back home. That is how much I love and miss you Rachel Myatt. There is no money, no obstacle, no time or place I wouldn't go to to let you know that I love you with all my heart. I am sorry that other men hurt you and that you didn't understand how much I cared for you but now you know and that I am true and asking you for forgiveness and reconcilation. I hope in you reading this you will think about contacting me and making peace with me. I love you and that is all I really have to comment on. You played with my dream of having and being a family with you and Jonathan. That was my only dream. The first time I saw you I knew you were the one and I never had eyes for another lady since. I love you and your child and I don't know what else to say to you to get you to understand that I am willing to go to any length to forgive, forget, and move on. Someone truly loves you Rachel Myatt and I love you through Christ first and foremost.
You spent so much time judging me and finding flaws with me that you didn't see what was beautiful about me. You also wanted to abandon me without a care like you said on the phone to me last September and you threw the burden on God. He transformed me and for thinking only of what you wanted at the time this is what you are getting in return. He gave me the love and the strength to do all this even though you abandoned and cursed me when I needed you. You were my dearest friend and I would have never trusted my heart, my soul, and my body to anyone I didn't feel who didn't love the Lord, Rachel. You played with all of that. I don't want revenge on you or hurt I love you and want you to come back.
I spent all my time accepting your flaws and believing in the beauty of your imperfections.
love
B
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