Dear Rachel,
I love you. I wish that you loved me enough to make peace with me. I wished that we were still in each others life. There are so many things I wanted to share with you and Jonathan, but you never saw that. I came to you with a love and heart so pure even though I was broken and bruised but having you and Jonathan to love always meant so much to me. I want you to know that I have never meant you any harm through this whole time. I truly love you. All I ever wanted to do was share my love of God with you. My heart, my music, and to give you and Jonathan all of me. I truly wanted to worship with you. I wanted to be there to help you love Jonathan and watch him grow. If you never wanted that then I don't know why you even bothered. I loved you more than any woman I ever met. You were my true love and the woman that broke me. I went out last night with a friend and because she is so nice to me and we share so much in common it was the first time I was able to look a woman in the eyes in a year. We talked about you and me and I had to be honest with her about my distrust of women and I told her that having her as a friend made me believe that there are still good people in the world. How does that make you feel Rachel knowing that someone that was so close to you, someone who would travel the world over for you, that would make such a fuss for you lost hope in the good in people because of the way you treated them. I would be ashamed if I hurt someone that bad especially if they ask me for forgiveness and told you they were sorry for any pain they caused you and offered their forgiveness. Rachel Myatt you were my best friend. I will never love anyone like I love you and I do love your kid. I thought he was the coolest kid and I never got to share with him all the great things I wanted to. When I love others and we have problems we commmunicate. I don't throw others out of my life and I always analyse the situation in full. You said and did many things in the course of our relationship that made me want to give up on you but I didn't because that would have been selfish and I wouldn't have got to know the great person I know you are. You gave up on me and at the worst time in my life. I was reaching out to you and Jonathan for love, acceptance, and not only that to become closer to God with you. Just remember the saddest thing about this is that I accepted your faith. I never did anything but say I was supportive of it and wanted to learn. I wanted to go to Church with you. I was even ready to be baptised in your faith when the time came because all I wanted was to be one with you. I truly loved you. So you turned someone not only away from your heart but the love you have for God. I pretty much am done with this blog today. I just wanted you to think about the Golden Rule. Even after how you treated me and then I lashed back I knew it was wrong. I stayed alive that night because I loved you because I didn't want evil to win and I didn't want to be selfish and deny myself all the love that God had in store for me. That night the Lord came to me and said to not give up on Rachel. To live, to love, and to not turn your back on her. So He lifted me up. It wasn't immediately but it was slowly and gradually. Then I got sick. Instead of let something kill me I fought it and lived. I am still here to love you Rachel Myatt. I am a fighter. I will still go to the edge of the earth to let you know I love you but I would rather you phone me or email me and lets put an end to all this. I love you and I will continue to love you and Jonathan. I have nothing but respect for you but everyday that passes you disrespect my love and friendship to you even more. My mother made me promise to be good to you no matter what. I kept my promise to God and to her. Remember the Golden Rule: Do onto others as you would have done onto you! I love you and I hope that someday you can put aside your pride, hurt, and whatever is holding you back and love me again. Even if its just your friend. When I stepped on that airplane last September I thought I would see you and Jonathan again. That plays over in my head like a nightmare because the woman I love told me she would be with me then turned me away. So I live with it like a movie reel playing over in my mind again. I care so much for you and I will never love another woman and child the way I do you and Jonathan.
I dedicate this song and this scripture to you today Rachel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4IAYFOZot8
Romans 13:8
[ Love Fulfills the Law ] Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.
Dear Sister, I do this because I want peace and reconciliation with you. Not to humiliate or harm you in anyway. I love you and Jonathan and all I want is to be free of the bad blood between us. Is it wrong to want peace and harmony with someone you truly love or should we let evil win and never make things right?
Tonight I am going to see Canada's Broken Social Scene with TV on the Radio as the headlining band. It makes me think of Rachel and I as their latest album is called "Forgiveness Rock Record" Rachel I wish we could forgive each other but you wont let it be.
I love you. I wish that you loved me enough to make peace with me. I wished that we were still in each others life. There are so many things I wanted to share with you and Jonathan, but you never saw that. I came to you with a love and heart so pure even though I was broken and bruised but having you and Jonathan to love always meant so much to me. I want you to know that I have never meant you any harm through this whole time. I truly love you. All I ever wanted to do was share my love of God with you. My heart, my music, and to give you and Jonathan all of me. I truly wanted to worship with you. I wanted to be there to help you love Jonathan and watch him grow. If you never wanted that then I don't know why you even bothered. I loved you more than any woman I ever met. You were my true love and the woman that broke me. I went out last night with a friend and because she is so nice to me and we share so much in common it was the first time I was able to look a woman in the eyes in a year. We talked about you and me and I had to be honest with her about my distrust of women and I told her that having her as a friend made me believe that there are still good people in the world. How does that make you feel Rachel knowing that someone that was so close to you, someone who would travel the world over for you, that would make such a fuss for you lost hope in the good in people because of the way you treated them. I would be ashamed if I hurt someone that bad especially if they ask me for forgiveness and told you they were sorry for any pain they caused you and offered their forgiveness. Rachel Myatt you were my best friend. I will never love anyone like I love you and I do love your kid. I thought he was the coolest kid and I never got to share with him all the great things I wanted to. When I love others and we have problems we commmunicate. I don't throw others out of my life and I always analyse the situation in full. You said and did many things in the course of our relationship that made me want to give up on you but I didn't because that would have been selfish and I wouldn't have got to know the great person I know you are. You gave up on me and at the worst time in my life. I was reaching out to you and Jonathan for love, acceptance, and not only that to become closer to God with you. Just remember the saddest thing about this is that I accepted your faith. I never did anything but say I was supportive of it and wanted to learn. I wanted to go to Church with you. I was even ready to be baptised in your faith when the time came because all I wanted was to be one with you. I truly loved you. So you turned someone not only away from your heart but the love you have for God. I pretty much am done with this blog today. I just wanted you to think about the Golden Rule. Even after how you treated me and then I lashed back I knew it was wrong. I stayed alive that night because I loved you because I didn't want evil to win and I didn't want to be selfish and deny myself all the love that God had in store for me. That night the Lord came to me and said to not give up on Rachel. To live, to love, and to not turn your back on her. So He lifted me up. It wasn't immediately but it was slowly and gradually. Then I got sick. Instead of let something kill me I fought it and lived. I am still here to love you Rachel Myatt. I am a fighter. I will still go to the edge of the earth to let you know I love you but I would rather you phone me or email me and lets put an end to all this. I love you and I will continue to love you and Jonathan. I have nothing but respect for you but everyday that passes you disrespect my love and friendship to you even more. My mother made me promise to be good to you no matter what. I kept my promise to God and to her. Remember the Golden Rule: Do onto others as you would have done onto you! I love you and I hope that someday you can put aside your pride, hurt, and whatever is holding you back and love me again. Even if its just your friend. When I stepped on that airplane last September I thought I would see you and Jonathan again. That plays over in my head like a nightmare because the woman I love told me she would be with me then turned me away. So I live with it like a movie reel playing over in my mind again. I care so much for you and I will never love another woman and child the way I do you and Jonathan.
I dedicate this song and this scripture to you today Rachel.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4IAYFOZot8
Romans 13:8
[ Love Fulfills the Law ] Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for whoever loves others has fulfilled the law.
Dear Sister, I do this because I want peace and reconciliation with you. Not to humiliate or harm you in anyway. I love you and Jonathan and all I want is to be free of the bad blood between us. Is it wrong to want peace and harmony with someone you truly love or should we let evil win and never make things right?
Tonight I am going to see Canada's Broken Social Scene with TV on the Radio as the headlining band. It makes me think of Rachel and I as their latest album is called "Forgiveness Rock Record" Rachel I wish we could forgive each other but you wont let it be.
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