Why I am doing this

I want every reader to know exactly why I am doing this.  First of all it is because I truly do love this person and she treated me very horribly at a time when I looked to her for inspiration, love, and kindness.  My mother had just passed away 3 weeks prior and I gave Rachel an opportunity to end our relationship at the airport and for us to do it amicably.  She instead waited two days later and text me. Not call on the phone, text me from Canada and broke it off.  She used all sorts of bogus reasons why she didn't want to be with me and she destroyed our beautiful friendship, trust, and all the good times we had together. She tried to tell me I was mentally ill and has issues to make up for her lack of insecurity, her inability to keep her word, and her indecisiveness. How evil to someone who cares about you who is grieving. It was amazing the way she treated me. How many of you have lost a parent and know what I am going through. It is not pretty but I kept my promises to my friends and I worked and I helped people as much as I could a day after my mother died.  She would have wanted it that way.  She had nothing but love for Rachel Myatt and was so happy that we were in each others lives.  Rachel disrespected me in every sense of the word and I have come at her with nothing but love since we had our falling out.  At first I was angry but I continued to love her from a distance.  This person is so selfish she said if I got her pregnant and went back to the U.S. she would never let me know if I had a child.  She also sent back my Christmas card which was very hurtful. She wouldn't let me keep my promise to her son and her nephew to send them Legos they asked for.  I mean she is very selfish and only thinks about herself.  Through all my hurt and pain though I know Christ would want me to love her and persist.  If she takes this blog or anything as a threat or her family does also its not.  Its a pure honest reaction to her attitude and the way she treated me as someone who believed in her and never gave up on her.  She couldn't afford me the same.  She said she loved me then left me at the lowest point in my life.  People who run in the face of adversity never face up to their fears.  My fear of being left alone slapped me in the face and I said you know what.  I choose to love Rachel Myatt and persist even after all she has done to hurt me.  I forgave myself for the wrong I committed against her.  I write this blog, send her letters, her sister, and I have other family members to let her know I am serious about this worldwide love and if she doesn't want me to do this all she has to do is pick up the phone, email me, or get on messenger with me and we can straighten this all out.  I wanted to make these things clear to anyone who reads this blog and thinks I am against her religion or faith or even the Church of New Jerusalem of Dawson Creek.  I am relating my experience and Rachel using her faith to be elitist and put down others and in turn she is a representative of that Church.  If one part of the Church is sick then it hurts the body as a whole.  Just as with anything else.  I am stating facts that occured between Rachel and myself and I have proof of almost all of what I write about.  I have chosen at this time to not put the emails and other information up because it is part of my book "Letters to Rachel" and I am hoping that Rachel and I make peace before I have to go that far but I am nearing the end of that rope as she has been unresponsive in taking this opportunity to mend fences with me.   I want you all to know that I love Rachel Myatt with all my heart and though it seems like I am backhandedly putting her down everyday I am not trying to put her in that light. She is a good person and has the ability to love beyond compare.  She choose to treat me badly after complaining about so many other people she let walk on her and take advantage of her but I never did that I loved her for all she was and I still love her that much.  I just wish she had of chosen someone else to be cruel to that didn't appreciate her the way I did and love her as much as I do.  I pray for all a blessed day and that both you the reader and Rachel understand my intentions for the future and remainder of this blog.  I love you Rachel Myatt.  I ask you sister once again to forgive and come back to me. My love transcends space and time for you. You were one of my inspirations and strengths I never left you you left me.

Rachel this is how I felt when you abandoned me.

"The most fear you could ever have is when you reach your hand out to someone for help and they leave you in the shadows and turn their back on you."   Spencer Chamberlain of Underoath

Here is my song for you today.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1myc8KM4Tbk