Dear God,
Today I wanted to write this blog to tell you, Rachel, and all my readers some things. In the next couple of weeks and months I will be engaging in things that will be centered around letting Rachel know that I love her. At first when they happen they may upset her because she may not understand the reality or the purpose in me doing them. I have close friends who are helping me and it will be something that will be done on a worldwide scale. I love Rachel and if she has any love in her heart for me I ask that she put aside her pride and come back to my heart. I never have nor want to do you harm I am just trying to show you without a doubt that I do love you. Even through all the messed up things we did and said to each other I could never stop loving you. I will not give into the evil. What I will do is show the world that my heart is pure in my love for you and even though at times it seems when I write I am making you out to be a bad person it is just not true. I see all the beautiful things and all the good that you have to offer and you never gave me that credit Rachel. You were my closest dearest friend. I shared things with you that I would never share with even my other close friends. We had a bond and love for each other that was special and I would never have come so far or loved so deeply if I didn't truly believe that. What I do know is that what I am doing is God's will. I have known from the day I saw your face dear Rachel and so now I am just going to put it out in the open. When all the people around the world see how much I love you then maybe you will open your heart to accepting me back. I thought I deserved your love, your time and attention and you made me feel as such always. Then you ran scared, cursed me, put me down, and sent me into a deep depression I thought I would never recover from. God would not allow me to fall that far and He carried me the whole time and instilled a love greater than you could ever imagine in my heart for you. I could hate you, I could blast you and keep going on about all the things you did but you know what? That shows a person of miserable existence so what I am doing from this day on is just showing the world how much I love you. You will never know what I am doing, what I am passing out, what I am distributing, writing, singing, or doing because you wont just pick up the phone or email me. I want this to end Rachel but I know it wont until you realize that someone truly loves you. All the other women in my life I have been able to walk away and get over but you are special. You are someone God gave me the will to fight for, to love, and to face incredible odds. Think for one moment about all that I had to go through to get to you, what man who didn't love you would fight and struggle to be yours. You are everything I want, everything I desire, and everything I need. I still want to worship with you. I still want you and Jonathan to be my family. I still want your forgiveness, your love, and to renew the deep friendship we once had. I will love you forever Rachel Myatt and you can take it however you want to. I will keep writing, I will keep believing in you, I will keep caring, and keep loving you. You can choose to ignore it or you can be the person you were meant to be and be true to what your faith is about. Giving to others unselfishly, unconditionally, and give yourself fully to Christ. I gave of myself to you even when there were others. My own selfish desires were never part of our relationship. When I was lonely and couldn't be with you and other women offered me comfort and companionship I only thought of how much I loved you and despite having a temporary fix for my desires I never once thought of cheating on you or being with anyone else. I held my vow of celibacy for you. You are special, You are the one I want and need Rachel Myatt. I ask of you God today to let Rachel and her family read this and see me in a new light. I ask that you instill in her heart the insight and knowledge of how much I truly love her and this love that you have given me for her. I ask that you bring out the best in Rachel and reveal her true loving nature and spirit and take away what fears, insecurities, and pain she has from her past to let her know that a man is willing to go to the edge of the earth to love her and no matter what happened in the past I still love her with all my heart. The choice is yours Rachel. My heart is with God and my heart is with you. You can see what I am doing as an attack on who you are, be offended, hide, deny me your love, and whatever it is that people who can't see the truth do. I walk in the light, I walk in Gods love. I forgive you, I have forgotten most of the hurt. I am going to focus on letting you know how much I love you through prayer, music, spoken word, writing, and others letting you know how much I care for you. I pray that you and your family Rachel Myatt have a blessed day. I pray that my readers have many blessings bestowed on them and thank God for all the blessings He allows us each day. I want to say thank you and AMEN
I love you this song is dedicated to you today http://new.music.yahoo.com/kim-fox/tracks/little-piece-of-heaven--44288784
Rachel I ask you to look back on all the good things that were in our friendship and relationship and was the reason you ran because you realized that I truly loved you when the others did not. I love you whole souled and with all my heart and maybe you will never get it but that is how I feel. I know you still love me too because you care enough to be hiding from it. I just want you to know my arms are always open as my heart is waiting for you to come back. I believe in you. Unconditional love never goes away. God loves us unconditionally why cant you show the same love towards me?
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