Revelations and Revolutions

I want you to to know both Rachel and my readers of this blog that I am doing this because I truly do love Rachel Myatt. Rachel maybe didn't realize how devoted I was at the time.  She is noticing now. I love her with all my heart and I was not going to just let her walk all over my feelings and play games with it but I also do care for her very much.  I want to say this to the Myatt family especially to Jane.  I feel that you didn't feel I was right for your daughter because of my religious views and the thing is I am accepting of Christ and I am not a religious bigot.  My heart is open and Rachel knew I was ready to worship with her.  I also was not myself I was grieving and more quiet and reserved and both you and Rachel should have taken that into consideration when I came. I came because I loved Rachel and wanted to keep my promise to Rachel and to my mother to go be with her.  If I seemed awkward in anyway it was because I was.  I was only half there but Rachel meant that much to me that despite my pain and suffering of losing my mother Rachel was part of the life that would be beyond. So I don't understand it if you had anything against me.  I gave her my all at the time.  Rachel said she would stand up and defend her love for me and the whole time we were arguing on the phone she kept telling me she loved me and I even told her to hang up and go away if I didn't matter and she wouldn't until we had our last and final argument. I haven't stopped loving her nor will I and you are all in for a surprise at what happens next.  I have refrained from putting up more pictures of Rachel and Jonathan out of respect.  I only put this one up to show that I love both her and Jonathan and it was really just supposed to be for Rachel. I have also refrained from the videos on Youtube I was going to put up about the New Church, Rachel's cruelty, and other things.  Here is what you don't get.  This is my story. Rachel can twist it anyway she wants but if she is running, hiding, and shying away she knows that what I have to say is true.  I will not use and have not used anything in my books that wasn't true.  I will not use anything that has not truthfully come from me or Rachel.  My book has not altered any of the email I only want my story to be told so that Rachel knows that I love her and that the damage she has done to not only me but the other men in her life needs to stop.  She complained about men not loving her or wanting to accept her for her or her faith.  I did both and all she did was talk about how different and weird I was as she had done to me about the guy before.  The problem is you Rachel. I am sorry if all you do is look for peoples flaws and are so insecure about other peoples differences then you are being petty.  You said the guy before me couldn't believe in God and would hate God if he was the way you believed in Him.  Its not the New Church theology its Rachel Myatt's theology why do you think I asked Reverend Coleman if your faith was hedonistic.  It was because if you look back at most of the things you have done you have done them selfishly.  You would always talk about the people whose kids you kept and how they hosed you over or were greasy with your time but they did provide you with a means to income and were loyal to you.  You always talked about Amanda in a bad light and I though she is was an awesome sister I would have loved to have her as my sister.  Aunt Brenda never met her but all I heard was you belittling her most of the time.  Anything you didn't agree with me about you wanted to argue about instead of have an intelligent conversation you wanted to prove yourself right.  Who is to say who is right? When you abandoned me you said you wanted to do it without a care.  That was cold, selfish, and already heartless since you dumped me by text.  I just want to say that you are a horrible friend.  You are a dishonest person, you lie, you aren't loyal,  you don't keep your promises and you NEVER DESERVED MY FRIENDSHIP, MY UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, MY LOYALTY, OR TO EVEN BE CARED ABOUT BY ME!!!!! Yeah I said it and in the coming weeks myself and other people are going to do things that will show others of how you are.  I love you Rachel but the only way out of this now if for you to talk to me.  Everything that I do to show you that I care and love you is legal.  I don't do this to slander you.  I own the pictures, the story is mine, the music is mine.  I am doing this for one reason only.  I LOVE YOU RACHEL MYATT AND I WANT PEACE WITH YOU AND FOR YOU TO BE BACK IN MY LIFE. I FORGIVE YOU FOR EVERYTHING. I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART AND GOD WILL NOT LET ME GIVE UP ON YOU LIKE I HAVEN'T GIVEN UP ON ANY OF MY FRIENDS,FAMILY, OR LOVED ONES.  YOU WERE ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT PEOPLE IN MY LIFE WHY CAN'T YOU SEE THAT. You know what though Rachel you probably never will.  You will let your stubbornness and selfishness keep this charade up and you will let me put this book out, my cd and songs about you will be out and then people around you will start looking at you in a very selfish light.  They will see how I reached out to make peace with you and you constantly shunned me and ignored me.  They will see that I even went to the Church and my friends wrote the Church and you and you sent the letters back and your pastor ignored my friends.  You don't care because the bigger it gets it wont matter who it harms or touches because your life is all about you.  You don't live by Christ message or Swedenborg's view of Christ message of giving of yourself to others unless it selfishly benefits you.  If all I was a boyfriend of convenience to you or an over glorified pen pal then you know what FUCK YOU. I said it I cared about you and you need to be told.  I loved you was willing to come give up my life in the United States to be with you in Canada where there was nothing I was used to but I loved you and Jonathan so much that none of that mattered because all I wanted to do was be with you. You played with my want and need to have a family and that was wrong. I won't ever be able to trust another woman and now I don't even know if I want kids cause you FUCKED with me so bad.I adored Jonathan and wanted to be there full time for him. So think about that when you read this or if any of your family members read this.  If anyone from the Dawson Creek New Church reads this then know what kind of person Rachel Myatt is.  She can't forgive, she can't keep her word, she hurts people constantly and even though I forgive her and love her unconditionally she is still hateful, spiteful, and unrepentant.  What kind of Christian message or message of goodwill of any kind is that.  Anyways I have said what is on my mind and now all that I can say is that I did everything to make peace with you. If you think I am harassing you then FUCKING SUE ME!!! You have already taken advantage of me enough. You can't take anything else from me because you did that the day you spit on and disrespected the true love I had for you.  The next steps will be worldwide and out in the open for everyone to see.  I love you, I have no shame, no regrets, and instead of look back I love you and keep looking forward.  What will you do now Rachel? One of these days one of your parents will die and you will want people around you who love you and care about you to be supportive.  That was all I ever wanted from you because I loved you and trusted you with my friendship, my heart, and my love. So I am sorry that you had to be such a selfish, self centered, spoiled cunt who doesn't know how to talk to people, hides behind children and her family because she cant grow up and be her own woman, and who cant be there for people who love you who would be there for you. One day soon some deep shit will happen to you and you will think about me and how all I wanted was your love and you fucked it up.  I apologize to my readers but she needs to hear this.  Just because I am Christian doesn't mean I come without flaws or human imperfections at least I am honest that I have them so I ask God for forgiveness and I even have this song about being human and sometimes having to say what is on our mind about things even if it seems slandering and hurtful. I WANT YOU TO KNOW RACHEL I AM SERIOUS ABOUT THIS BEING WORLDWIDE AND A LOVE REVOLUTION. I AM EVEN TAKING PIANO LESSONS TO WRITE SONGS ON PIANO. If you think hiding anymore is an option soon people all over will know your name and why because you couldn't forgive, couldn't make peace with someone who loved you and you chose to be cruel, hurtful, and selfish.  The choice was yours and so this is what God has in store for me. Not to hurt you but to teach you to treat people better.  Thanks for your support. I love Rachel with all my heart but I am about to show everyone just how strong I am and how I don't back down. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iEv1Ymcb6H0

Today's song to accompany how I feel about Rachel.  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rpbtry6Udww