The Woman I Continue to Love Unconditionally :A World Wide Love Story

I wanted to share my story with as many people in the world as I could. I truly love this person with all my heart but she is selfish, judgmental, and very insensitive so I want her and the world to know of my story.  A year and a half ago I was making friends around the world on a pen pal site and I met a beautiful Canadian woman named Rachel.  She was the most beautiful person I had ever seen and we began to talk and it was true of her beauty inside and out so I thought.  We talked about music, literature, movies, children and religion.  Religion seemed to be the hard part because she belongs to the New Church or Church of the New Jerusalem in Dawson Creek, British Columbia. If you don't know then do a search.  I was willing to accept her beliefs and had even read some of the founders work in college.  I loved her more and more each day and so even though she kept putting me down because of religious beliefs I as a Christian know that we are supposed to love each other even if the other person doesn't see how much they are hurting you.  I was single and had prayed to God a year before to send me someone to love.  I was patient going through the motions, dating, and not having any luck.  I did find a nice woman named Tiffany who I befriended and fancied but I felt that Rachel had the spiritual love that I wanted to share with someone so as a good friend I told her I loved her and she meant something to me but I needed to be with Rachel.  I made Rachel a Scrapbook of how much I loved and wanted to be with her and her 5 year old son Jonathan and I sent her a promise ring, and a promise date when I would come be with her.  I even had the chance to sleep with other women and I had been on a vow of celibacy for some time and though I was lonely and wanted companionship I always let Rachel knew which friends I went out with and that if advances were made on me because I truly loved her.  We had a wonderful summer talking and texting everyday.  I had never felt so loved in my life and Rachel and her son Jonathan were the ones I wanted to devote my life too.  Two weeks before I was supposed to go to Canada my mother fell ill and died on August 8th 2010.  I had to push back my date going to Canada to be with Rachel but I though she loved me and understood. I still kept my promise after only 3 weeks of grieving and on her deathbed my mom gave Rachel and her family her blessing and she wanted me to go and be with her and love her with all I had.  That is one reason I haven't given up on her even if she has treated me less than a person.  I went through hell to get to Rachel I had trouble getting my new passport and almost didn't get to go.  I had to take a later plane because of inclement weather here in Texas and when I got to Edmonton I had a 4 hour delay because of the plane.  I couldn't call Rachel because my phone service wouldn't work.  I asked the lady at the desk if I could use the phone to call my girlfriend and she wouldn't let me but a lady came up right behind me 5 minutes later and she let her use the phone.  I felt like she didn't like me because of the color of my skin.  I am African American or black but no matter I am human.  I arrived at the airport and Rachel ran into my arms and I was so overwhelmed she was so beautiful and so awesome all i wanted to do is kiss her but I was scared I had to use the restroom bad too so we embraced and then she took me to her vehicle and it was late so we went to her mothers house to pick up her son Jonathan who I adore.  He was really into Legos at the time so I surprized him and brought him some.  All I wanted the time I was there that week was for Rachel to know how much I loved her and she didn't know how much I had on my mind.  I did everything she wanted to do with me almost she wanted me to be more assertive and all I  wanted was to be with her.  I loved being with her and her family and that was all that I needed to help me through my pain of losing my mother.  I loved being in her arms. I loved the thought of being with her and her family and becoming part of that fold.  I wanted to worship with her and be her husband and raise her son as my own. I though she knew how much I loved her.  6 months of loving and wanting to be with her and all I wanted was to grow both in love and in the Lord with her. The day I left I asked her if she loved me and wanted to continue being my girlfriend. A real man is able to take rejection if he is ready for it if she had of said no then I would have been cool hugged her shook her and and said we will always be friends.  She said she wanted to be with me kissed me three times and then she and her nephew Riley who was so cool walked me to the gate and I kissed Rachel like I was losing my best friend and told her I loved her all I wanted to do was come back to her and Jonathan and be with her forever.  I started walking through the gate and then when I did I ran back and kissed her again and said don't forget I love you!  I love her so much.  I got back home about 10 hours later and the next day we talked and had a good chat and before I went to bed she told me how much she loved me. I was so lucky.  I got to work the next morning told everyone how cool Rachel was and her family her mother Jane and her sister Amanda.  I wanted them all to be my family.  Jonathan had just started school so I text her and asked her how was her day going? She said not good and I said why.  She text me back "I don't think I can be your girlfriend".  My heart stopped I was at work in front of a bunch of people I just broke into tears.  I showed my boss the text and asked if I could go home.  I barely made it home I was so hurt all I wanted was to die.  She called my work and my manager told her I would be ok.  I was so hurt because if she had loved me she could have at least talked to me on the phone and she text me to break up with me after I came all that way and she said she wanted to be with me all I was worth was a text.  All that love for nothing and I had give up everything to be with her.  I went home and started chatting with her then we later talked.  I was so broken I told her I was going to end it all and I took a couple of supplements I use for my workouts and I knew they would make my heart stop.  Then I told her goodbye hung up the phone and walked to my car.  I was really hurt because Rachel made up all these excuses not to love me and said that I was sad and I wasn't happy and I didn't like to do the things she did.  I was in mourning I came to her for love and that is what I tried to explain to her that she and Jonathan were the people who would get me through this pain by having a family to love and someone I cared about.  All she could think about was herself so I drove to my moms grave site meanwhile since I had taken the pills Rachel called the Police and Fire Department all the way from Canada.  I was so invisible though I drove right past all of them 5 cop cars and one fire truck and I drove right past the fire truck on my way out.  She didnt know how bad she hurt me. I  eventually ended up in the hospital and I also left a note for her if I did die and gave it to a friend with my old phone and he text her.  She thought I was tricking her and so she called me a liar.  My cousin also text her but again to her I was just playing games with her and so she made fun of me began taunting my love for her saying that it was a mistake.  She started making fun of my love of God and all the while I was just ready to lay down and die.  No one had ever seen me love someone so much and no one had ever seen someone hurt me so much either.  I threw up on a daily basis and sometimes I barely made it through a day of work. Eventually she just stopped calling and writing she was evil to me. I told her I was sorry if she felt i tried to manipulate her by wanting to leave this world and asked for her forgiveness but that was never my intention.  I felt betrayed by her and I thought I had a true friend who loved me enough to understand that at that time I was walking on eggshells and I wasn't 100% but she took everything the wrong way.  Needless to say God lifted me up and gave me a purpose and instead of hate Rachel and be cruel like she is to me I have started a campaign of love to her worldwide.  I am not angry anymore I am just hurt and betrayed because of they way she uses her faith to put down others and is always making fun of others because they don't live the way she does. I came to her with a love to worship, care for, and be one with her in the Lord.  I want her to know that I love her more than anyone else in the world. I come to you dear follower of Christ and the Most High for strength, prayers, and because my calling was to love Rachel and instead of being bitter towards her I come to show her I would go to the ends of the earth to let her know I love her and her son Jonathan. I have shared this message with the New Church and others worldwide. Please pray that Rachel and I make peace, reconcile, and that He led me to find love for her instead of anger, hate, despair, and regret.  I want to show Rachel that my life is not mine to live but God's love to share and to be charitable with. My biggest dream in life was to be a husband and father. I never wanted material things, money, or fame. When I found Rachel she and her son were the only ones I ever felt like I could give this too. I love Rachel Myatt with all my heart and I hope this message has touched you enough to write back and share with others.   I thank you for your time and God Bless.