Happy Canada Day Rachel!

Happy Canada Day tomorrow July 1st Rachel.  I remember last year when you were giving me the play by play about the parade you went to and how I wanted to be there with you and how I hoped this year we would have shared that together.  I'm sorry you didn't know how much you meant to me and how much I truly love you.  I want to say a few things today quickly.

First off to anyone who thought this was a phase or that my love for Rachel will fade then you are dead wrong. When you love someone as much as I love her you have to move mountains and swim seas and that is what I would do for Rachel and Jonathan. She has no idea how much I truly love her and I don't think she had an idea when we were together but I know this much. I am willing to put this story out all over and to do anything possible for Rachel to know how much I love her. Rachel I know you are listening and I will not stop loving you.  A friend reminded me of this quote today and since I have been vocal about everything then maybe this is how you are feeling.

I have learned now that while those who speak about one's miseries usually hurt, those who keep silence hurt more. - C.S. Lewis

LETTERS TO RACHEL PROJECT IS IN FULL SWING
The Silence will only serve as a means of productivity

Rachel I realized that you are the one woman I would move heaven and earth for and do you realize that that is how much I love you and the reason for this blog and all the other things I have done and am doing.  I love you and Jonathan.  I still want to be with you and no matter what bad blood has been between us I wouldn't hesitate putting it all aside to be with you.  I was never in love with the dream of being a husband and father.  I was in love with making it a reality with you and only you. You and Jonathan are the ones I love. I love you spent so much time finding flaws with me instead of loving me for who I was like I did you. This song is how I felt about you all the long I thought the world of you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vgb05OvtHBw

I have been very sick these past couple of months.  I don't use it as crutch to stop living I have gone everywhere.  I work almost everyday.  I travel, I go to concerts in the 100 degree heat in both Texas and California but still I fight it and I will till it overcomes me or I overcome the cancer. I am a fighter and much like fighting a disease If you love someone you will go to the ends of the earth for them.  Rachel haven't I shown you just how much I love you. It has been almost a year and I still haven't given up on you.  I am sorry that it is out there and that you feel the way you do but I love you.  If God didn't want this to be happening He wouldn't let me do it.  We do have free will and at first my free will was to totally trash you and tell you to bugger off but by the end of October all I wanted to do is love you and that is how it will always be.  I love you Rachel and Jonathan Myatt and if you continue not to see how great that love is and how much Christ has a hand in it then just look at all the letters that have been written to you or the Church by not just me but my friends. People love and care about me and if you had of just been loving and not kicked me when I was down when my mother had just passed away you would have seen that.   I was hurting.  I came to you as my best friend and you abandoned, put me down, and walked away from me like I never existed.  I was dead inside and still am to an extent the moment you did that.


I am not going to slow down in the things I am doing all I know is I hope that you will contact me soon and that you and your family especially Jane and also Reverend Coleman Glenn understand the love I have for you. It is true, genuine, and pure and I will never forsake the love I have for you and Jonathan.  People say to me all the time they wish they could find a man that would love me the way you love Rachel.  They understand the nature of my love for you. Its not about revenge, its not about hurt, its not about being selfish.  I am in love with you and all that you are Rachel and if I die in the next couple of months my last will truly is to make peace with you. If I passed without us ever talking again I would die truly unfulfilled. In you I saw the most beautiful woman in the world even though the tough exterior and the cruelty I have loved you completely and unconditionally.  I hope you had the courage to pick up the phone and talk to me and make peace with me.  My one wish for Christmas if I make it that far is to make peace with you and maybe even see you again.  Everyday you ignore me you kill my hope that there are truly good people in this world. I love you Rachel Myatt and I will leave you with a scripture about how much I love you and only you. Once again Happy Canada Day tomorrow.

Rachel you were and will always be the only woman to captivate my heart and I never wanted to be with anyone the way I wanted to be with you and Jonathan. I am sorry you couldn't look deep in your heart and find love instead of doubt because I will always love you. I love you with all my heart. God Bless

Ephesians 5:31
“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”

 

Soundtrack to Loving Rachel Unconditionally 
1. Recovery - Curve(the song that kept me alive)http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbph6_XObnU

2. Hold Your Head High - Heartless Bastards  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gWwWseTsYdg

3. Fall Back Down - Rancid   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IoO8w1NG5kA

4. Lemonade - Tsunami Bomb  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZM45O3HehHA&feature=related

5.Filthy Habits - The Flatliners(best Canadian punk band since D.O.A.) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=99VS62iZsXw

6.I Am Trying to Break Your Heart - Wilco   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zlxH9-TYseY

7. I Was Right - New Years Day http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJqHzpLVwvA&feature=fvwrel

8. God Makes No Mistakes -Loretta  Lynn (Dedicated to Reverend Coleman Glenn of the Church of the New Jerusalem Canada) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m0r9iUOdHjk

9. Say the Words - DC Talk(for you Rachel) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ZHR8axPqO8

10. Rocks Tonic Juice Magic - Saves the Day(Acoustic http://www.youtube.com
/watch?v=HExDl9a0Lis) and (Rock Version http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jodXJnf_o9k&feature=related)

1l. I Could Never Hate You - The Eyeliners (You are still my dear friend Rachel) http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yqHEnasjmI8

12. Ready to Fall - Rise Against    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jnmlw38KzxE

13. I'm Not Ready To Forgive You - Right Away, Great Captain  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BSblEfq5CWo

I love you Unconditionally Rachel Myatt no matter how you treat me.   

What Comes Next Is Up to You. I tried to make things right with you in private. I went to the Church and now I go to the world. You always have a choice Rachel. You can live a life of caring , charity, a life of love ,and being kind to others or you can lie, deceive, be selfish, and try to make others look bad when you hurt them. I choose being kind and even if you continue to be cruel or non responsive you will remember me always and how much I cared for and love you and this next act will prove that.                                        

My Love for you Rachel transcends all space and time and God's love will never allow me to be cruel and treat you like you did me. Words are one thing but my actions of love in my heart will always stand. I love you with all my heart Rachel Myatt and that will never change.