Killing With Kindness(Those Who Hurt Us)

I am sure most of us at one time or another have truly loved someone that we would do anything for.  In my case it has been Rachel.  I don't think she has a clue how much I care.  I have taken steps to to reach out not only to her but to family members to let her know how much I love her.  I have went to her Church.  I have written a book, made videos which I have yet to put on Youtube out of respect and hoping she and I will reconnect before having to do that. I have written numerous songs I am ready to share with the world soon. I doubt that the reality of how much I really care about her will sink in for another couple of months.  When she sees that Wow this guy really went out not only to show me that I hurt him but that despite all that he really does love me.   As I stated in an earlier blog I am too old to be infatuated with anyone.  What I am is patient, kind, and long suffering and even if Rachel thinks I will grow tired of this and give up I won't. As long as I stay in the civil parameters of the law in expressing myself I will continue to show here I love her and care like I have done for so many people before me.  She never expected me to love her like this she expected me to be another one of her expendables and throw away boyfriends.  She really didn't understand that through her want to be tough exterior I saw through all of it to see the good.  I never let her tell me that she wasn't worth loving or that her hurting me would discourage me. I was broken and lost my way for awhile after it happened but never did I stop loving her and give up hope. So the question is now Rachel Myatt are you ready to be bombarded with all this attention and for people to know about you in this way of public forum or are you willing to just pick up the phone and say that we agree to disagree and go from there.  I love you so much and I still have a big space in my heart for you.  If you want me to pull out the stops and keep spreading the world then I will.  All you have to do is let go of whatever it is that stands in the way of making peace with me and come back. I love you my dear friend with all my heart and I will not stop doing that and I will never back down from my faith, my love of God, and the good of loving those who do us wrong. I will continue to kill you with kindness, I will show others how I care for the woman who treated me worst than any other woman had before.  The others realized it a year later in most case and one it took her 7 years.  They all in the end understood the good man I am and my persistence, love, and believing in other is what gave them the insight to realize the beautiful person they turned their back on.  I reached out to Amanda your sister today Rachel.  I hope she takes it as a sign of peace and will return my olive branch. I love you and Jonathan so much and no matter how you have taken this the past 9 months every thing I have done since November has been purely out of love. I harbor no animosity anymore for what you did. I also want you to know the reason I reacted the way I did. It was not that you abandoned me it was how you chose to do so when I loved you so much and went through so much to be with you. Even in my time of mourning my mother I sacrificed everything because I believed in your love and love you and Jonathan so much. Didn't you think I deserved more, to be treated a little bit kinder considering what I had been through. That didn't seem to matter though you just wanted to get rid of me and act like I never existed. Told me that my love for you was a mistake. My love for you was a gift from God and that my dear Rachel is why you are in the situation you are now. You are cruel to people who love you and respect you but you want respect when you don't give it.  I am sorry things happened they way they did.  I never tricked you with my phone calls, or my friend texting you that night. You kept calling me a liar and not believing for one moment that your selfishness, cruelty, and untruths could cause another such pain. Well here I am.  I survived and I survived to love you and live on despite what you think about me or treat me.  I still love you and I will continue right now letting others know and spreading the gospel of Christ, of forgiveness, and going against all odds to show someone you love them.  I never gave up on you. Why did you give up on me?

Job 6:14
“Anyone who withholds kindness from a friend forsakes the fear of the Almighty.

I came to you in need Rachel, your faith teaches of giving of yourself and of charity.  I came to you at my lowest point in life because you said you loved me and would be there for me and I still have your email telling me how you wanted to be there for me. I wish that Rachel had of been the one who claimed to love me. 

...they who are in the faith of charity observe what is good, and if they see anything evil and false, they excuse it, and if they can, try to amend it in the person...Where there is no charity, there is the love of self, and therefore hatred against all who do not favor self. Consequently such persons see in the neighbor only what is evil, and if they see anything good, they either perceive it as nothing, or put a bad interpretation upon it. It is just the other way with those who are in charity. By this difference, these two kinds of persons are distinguished from one another, especially when they come into the other life; for then with those who are in no charity, the feeling of hatred shines forth from every single thing; they desire to examine every one, and even to judge; nor do they desire anything more than to find out what is evil, constantly cherishing the disposition to condemn, punish, and torment. But they who are in charity scarcely see the evil of another, but observe all the other's goods and truths, and put a good interpretation on what is evil and false. Such are all the angels, which they have from the Lord, who bends all evil into good.

Arcana Coelestia (Heavenly Secrets) #1079
 
The Lord also teaches that to be angry with one's brother or sister or the neighbor rashly, and to hold someone as an enemy, is also to commit murder. Doctrine of Life #73


Matthew 5:23-24
²³ “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, ²⁴ leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.