I am writing this blog today to explain something to you all. I started writing because of my love for Rachel Myatt. When God gives you a calling you can run from it or you can stand strong and be steadfast. If there is truly love in your heart then God will be there to guide it if you ask that of Him. My love for Rachel was never a joke, it was never a mistake, and it is still here. If I have any detractors who think I am being extreme, harsh, or disrespectful to Rachel in anyway then you have no understanding of our story and where I am coming from. The whole time I was dating Rachel she used her faith as a tool to put me down. I used my faith as a tool to love. She used God as a means to break up with me and to put me down even further when I had just lost my mother. Honestly would any of you treat people with disrespect who has just lost a parent? Well Rachel did to me she was unkind, uncaring, disrespectful and the thing about it is all this because I loved her enough to want to be her boyfriend, though all the obstacles, the country lines, the other girls, the death in my family, religion, and ethnic differences. All that I didn't care about I just wanted to love Rachel and Jonathan Myatt. During my darkest hour Rachel you were my light, my hope, and my true friend and I don't know what you thought or your family thought but I loved you all and only wanted all of you in my lives Rachel, Jonathan, Amanda Jane, Sarah, Howard, and everybody. You had a chance to make a difference in someones life. A chance to welcome someone to your faith, to your family, and into your hearts and for whatever untold reason you didn't look deep into my heart and see that you all meant something to me. I know Rachel loves me and despite her attempts to ignore me I soldier on. I pray everyday, my friends and family pray, the Church has been getting letters from various people and I will continue to love Rachel in this way hopefully she will eventually come back. I am fighting this disease I have right now with all my heart and if I should die then I have told everyone that the last thing I want is to make peace with Rachel. That is truly my final will. I do love her like I have never loved any woman before and I can never love anyone else. Even if she doesn't ever want to be with me again she can do the right thing and make peace with me and set me free because I love her. She can do the right thing because of what she did I cannot trust or love another woman. I trusted her after so much hurt and pain and out of all the women I loved she betrayed and hurt me the most. Ive been hurt so many times in my life but this was the most painful hurt of all. It hurt the most because you were my dearest friend and sister and Christ. I love you with all my heart Rachel Myatt.
Rachel and Jane when we were together all day that Saturday I was there I was wearing a hoodie that was by the Christian band Fireflight on the side of it it said "I will hold on to this hope that you gave me. You gave me a Promise" You never caught that and how much I love Christ and all He has done for me. I want you all to look at one of Fireflight's videos "You Decide" we can choose to be God's love or we can turn it away. I love you all Myatt family especially you Rachel and I will not turn from that love. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujQzI5PEmmc
A Message to the New Church
Dear New Church Pastors, Clergy, and Potential Members,
I have no ill will toward the New Church. I think it is a great expression of God's love and of progressive thought in Christianity. I never had anything but good things to say. Rachel always put down my protestant beliefs and she instead of showing the great love she was taught in the New Church used it to tear me down and show elitism and uncaring when I came to her as a friend, a boyfriend, and a follower of Christ in need of love. I have always written this blog in a response to the way she has treated me. I have dated women of many faiths and I wanted to be with Rachel because I saw the potential of great worship and love as a family with her. In the end, Rachel choose to use all that was special and sacred about our relationship and our love of God and use it against me. We all have free will and we can choose to use it for good and we can choose to use it for evil. Rachel lied to me, she deceived me, she put down my love of God and used hers to justify the cruel things she was doing and that is where I have always have had the problem and why this all started. God does not condone evil nor is He evil. He is and always will be love. He allows bad things to happen because people choose to do those bad things. I will leave it at that I love Rachel but she chose to do and say bad things and the worst two thing she could have said to me is that she didn't care if I lost my mother and that I wanted her to save me. Those were insults to my family and to my love of her. She was always a compliment to my life, my dear friend, we shared secrets and love and the fact that she would say that I wanted her to save me was just selfish, cruel, and insensitive. No matter I wish you all the best in your lives and I will continue to love Rachel, to write, and to love and help people no matter how evil, hurtful, or bigoted they are.
To the Reverend Coleman Glenn
I came to you as an outsider someone who truly cared about Rachel. I looked to you for guidance as a spiritual leader but it seems you had a bias against me from the start. Your replies sounded condescending and uncaring. You would rather have two people be at each others throats or hold a grudge against one another instead of make peace from they way you replied to me. It sounded like you took Rachel's side and that you feel that she was just in her actions of lying to me, deceiving me, and being cruel to me during the loss I had in my family. Is that what the New Church Clergy are taught? Twist things to make them for your own personal greater good at the expense of hurting others? It sure sounded like it from the way you replied to me. Is that what free will is to members of the New Church Reverend? Do whatever you want and hurt others and it will be fine because God wants you to infringe on other peoples happiness by lying to them and hurting them. It was ok for Rachel to play with my dream of wanting a family, a loving wife, and children and it was ok for her to do all those cruel things she did am right Reverend Glenn? I love Rachel with the purest of heart and I dont believe in being infatuated with anyone so I actually care for Rachel very deeply and the last time I was hurt I just walked away from that person because they didnt mean anything to me after betraying me. I am sorry that you don't understand what happened between Rachel and I but I wouldn't have come to the Church if Rachel didn't mean something to me. You think I am some twisted soul who got his heart broken and is seeking revenge. You are wrong if so. I sent you a Christmas card and one to Rachel and I sent Rachel my will to you because I had just found out I was ill at the time. Maybe you read my letter and thought I was some whiny nobody who sits back and complains about life. Im the complete opposite I make things happen. Rachel told me I would never be with her and I ended up in her heart, in her town, and in her bed. I never did anything but love her and loved her and only her. Revenge is not an option and it never will be in my book. I love Rachel with all my heart and the fact that you compared our situation to Laban and Jacob shows that you really think ill of me. It will be Rachel who has to live with her lies, her betrayal, and her deceit. I was her friend, her loving boyfriend, and someone who came to her for love, because I wanted to worship with her, and because I wanted to love her and her son. She told me that she wanted that when I left Canada and if she didn't want it I gave her an opportunity to let me go and we would have still be on amicable terms. Instead she gave me false hope. Let me tell all my family and friends how great she was and how awesome her family was and then she tore me down. It was her free will to do that, she knew the consequences, and she knew that it would cause great pain. She knows what she did was wrong and in the end she will have to live with it. The most important part of it all is that I had just lost my mother. Barely 3 weeks after she died I loved Rachel enough to keep my promise to her because my mother wanted me too, she gave me her blessing and Rachel and the Myatt family. I am sorry Rev. Coleman if you can't understand that this was more than Rachel verbally abusing me it was Rachel being selfish, insensitive, and hurtful. My friend Melody wrote you about how Rachel was affecting me and she told me you never wrote back that is sad. You know what though she was an atheist and she saw how much I loved Rachel and how God kept me optimistic and hopeful and even in my sadness I continued to love and do for others. She now goes to Church with her boyfriend and that was a witness because of my love for Rachel. You can doubt my love for Rachel and my approach all you want but I know its God's will. I wish you nothing but the best for you and your congregation and I hope you take a second look at what I am saying should you read this. Love Conquers all. Rachel constantly doubts other peoples love for her and her abilities. I will continue loving her and fighting the good fight because I believe in her. This is not about a separation it is about reconciliation and to right wrongs between two people who do care about each other. Rachel wouldn't be in the situation right now if she had of been truthful or had of talked things out with me. Instead she choose drama, deception, and lies and that is why I came to the Church so that she wouldn't smear your beautiful teachings anymore with the way she conducts herself. God bless you Rev Glenn and I hope you continue to seek Gods will and will try to truly help others the next time they come to you for guidance.
To my readers.
I thank each and everyone that comes to this blog to read of my situation everyday. This is really hard for me because I am conflicted sometimes about if I should keep writing. God has given me supportive friends and family who support this blog, my love for Rachel, the purity of my love, and my search for truth in the Church. That in itself is all that matters. I hope you all continue to seek God in your life each day and even if you don't have that faith to seek some form of spirituality and good will. My love and my heart goes out to each of you. We are all human, we are all love, we are all one.
Titus 3:1-3
1 Remind the people to be subject to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready to do whatever is good, 2 to slander no one, to be peaceable and considerate, and always to be gentle toward everyone.
3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.
God Bless
B.
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