Doing Something Nice for Rachel Because I Do Love Her!

One of the things that brought Rachel and I together was our love of music.  One band we both loved was the punk band Against Me.  Yesterday at the start of the Vans Warped Tour in Dallas Texas I got the band to actually sign a postcard and a t-shirt for Rachel.  I hope when I send it she will accept it and below is actually proof for Rachel that it is from them and not some hoax or game I am playing with her. With me being sick it was hard for me to stand out in the hundred degree heat for 40+ minutes but Rachel Myatt I love you that much. I want you and anyone that thinks I am being mean to you in anyway because of this blog to know that I would give my life for you and even if you can't appreciate it now eventually you will actually see how much I do care for you.  I hope all of you have a blessed day and this is for you Rachel because you do mean a lot to me. I hope you accept and cherish this gift from the band.

Picture #1 is of Tom Gabel  lead vocalist for Against Me signing the shirt for Rachel
Picture # 2 is the Post Card that the whole band signed for Rachel so please Rachel don't discard it or throw it out I ask of you.
Picture # 3 is a picture of the shirt I got for her with signatures from the band
Picture # 4 is a closer picture to see the signatures a little better.

Rachel this is an open invitation to you. If you hate me so much. If I was such a bad boyfriend and bad friend to you. Someone who loved you and Jonathan so much that I deserved the treatment you gave me and your cruelty then if you pick up the phone and say goodbye to me in the next 3 days. I will stop the campaign, I will stop writing, and I will just give up and go away. If that is how much you hate me I will keep my promise to all those things I just said.  All you have to do is pick up the phone and talk to me for 30 minutes and you will never hear from or hear anything about me ever again until I die.  If that is how little I mean and meant to you then here is me giving you the opportunity for me to go away for good. If you feel the need to seek litigation against me for expressing myself go ahead you already hurt me, you crushed any faith I had in women, and you ruined our friendship. I have copies of most of the letters I wrote and all our emails and text still. I wanted this to be about us forgiving each other and finding peace but if you want to make it about you then you can do that. I hold no ill will against you.  I truly do love you and if you want me to let go then pick up the phone and I will go away forever.
If not then I want you to remember this Rachel Myatt. God gives us love and guidance in our lives and the whole time I have never given up on you.  You know why because that is His will. If it had of been my will I would have hated you and cursed you to the day you die.  You know what though He gave me guidance and a love 10 times stronger than the one I had for you before and gave me the strength to do all these things like the blog, write the book, the music, and the spoken word cd and write the Church and He gave my friends the love and insight to write the Church too. All of this in God's name. I still believe in you Rachel Myatt and I want you to remember this scripture because I have done everything I said I was going to do because of His love and I will continue to and not back down so I give you this scripture as a promise if you choose not to reply to the aforementioned invitation.

James 2:26
As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.
For anyone who thinks that I am out to hurt Rachel it is just the opposite. I love her very much and would do anything for her.  I'm not out to slander her or libel but to give her a look into just how much I do love her and how her actions affected me. It just made my love for her stronger and now if she refuses to see then it is her loss. Most people who know me understand me and they don't understand why I would want to be nice to someone who hurt me so.  I love Christ and so in that even if Rachel was my worst enemy I would still be kind to her but she is not.  I know she does care for me and I will be persistent, long suffering, patient, and keep loving her no matter what the cost.  I hope you all are blessed and if there is someone you love that you have fallen out of favor with please forgive them and try to make peace.  The sad thing about this is Rachel knows how much I love her and she could make peace with me but something or someone is holding her back from doing so and that is a shame.  I dedicate this song to her today because I love her and hope she will find her way back into my heart soon. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfvkF5wgeQQ . Rachel I never tried to be anyone but myself and when I was grieving I had every right to be less enthusiastic about things. I loved you with all my heart and for you to ever judge me or be cruel to me because I lost my mom and wasn't all there was very sad.  I hope that the day that Jane or Howard dies you will realize what I was going through and remember how much you hurt me with your attitude and your lies. I would have stood by you if one of your parents died no matter what. I love you and I hope you come around soon. Bottom line is I refuse to let Rachel, her family, anybody of the New Church or anyone for that matter label me as the villain here. I reacted to the way someone I loved slandered, put me down, lied to, and abandoned me and here I am open armed with love. I will never think less of what I write or how I feel.

Here are a couple of great sayings I hope you all can take to heart today.

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind" - Dr. Seuss

"Falling in love is NOT finding the perfect person ... it is learning to love an IMPERFECT person PERFECTLY"                                 




love
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