Rachel and Jonathan

Rachel and Jonathan
I Love you and Always Will

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Running from the Shadows of Our Lies

I just want to say Rachel Myatt thanks for being so cruel to me.   Thanks for giving me so much love and strength and letting me see how far I could take things. With God's love I am a new man even stronger than before. So keep hiding, keep sending back the blessings of hope and love I send you.  Keep ignoring the love I send the Church for you. It is getting bigger than you can even imagine and pretty soon our story will be known lots of places. I stand by everything I did between us both right and wrong. I never lied to you about my feelings, the feelings of love, despair, joy, sadness.  I never lied to you about being in the pain I was in or the hospital or my friends.  Those were not games that was real and I really went through those things so I am sorry you thought I manipulated you or lied to you but I didn't. You deeply hurt me when I needed your love and Christian friendship.  See a funny thing happens when you lie. Those lies just keep getting bigger and bigger like the one you seem to keep running from does.  If you were woman enough to pick up the phone and face me this would have been over a long time ago but you are not.  You hide thinking you are so far away from the lies that nothing I do or say will touch you.  See every time you push away the good I try to send your way you fuel fire to the story that I am telling. Maybe you should try forgiveness, talking, and friendship.  My arms are still open to you, my ear is open, and my heart will always accept you.  But keep running Rachel Myatt because eventually you are going to see that evil, unkindness, and pride will not get you far. Truth is I am just fine. I am having a blast but I do love you very much and it makes me sad that you feel you have to do the things you do to avoid me.  I am not going to stop loving you, not give up on you, and not walk away and that is a promise.  A Promise to God.  You know I will not break it so just accept it and keep ignoring me or pick up the phone, write a letter, or email me I love you and I will always care. I won't back down so keep running. My family, Friends, and others believe in me because they know my love for you is real because they have experienced me.  If you hate me so much contact me and I Promise I will go away for good.  All you have to do is pick up the phone. Tell me how much you hate me and I will promise to go away and never write another blog, letter, song or anything.   I let you into my circle of best friends and you were my girlfriend a thing few people ever experience but if I am such a loser, someone with issues, who is damaged, and such a jerk all these things you called the man who loved you enough to keep his promises to you especially right after my mother died.  The same man whose selfless mother loved you and wanted you to know how much it meant to her to love her son.  The same guy who was willing to put his future on hold to love you because you and Jonathan meant the world to me. Then just call me. Just say you hate me so much, just tell me to go away, stop bothering me.  You can't can you cause if you did I would be surprised but if you did that I would give up all hope but only if you actually talked to me.  You wont because deep inside you know that you care about me and that you hurt me and that I am a good man.   I am someone you care for very much. I am not going to walk away from you even if it takes years and  I have to live poor or move to Canada with my friend.  I love you Rachel Myatt. I am asking for peace with you this one last time before I start the big plan I have.  I will leave you with these scriptures that I hope you will ponder. I have reached out to you for peace and you continue to turn me away and reject the true love and friendship I have had for you. Is that the way you want to continue living your life shunning every good thing that comes your way and because it doesn't fit your perceived agenda it is wrong? Soon you lies will be out there Rachel I gave you every chance to make things right.

Psalm 34:14
Turn from evil and do good; seek peace and pursue it.  Rachel this is what I am doing with you.

Isaiah 59:4
No one calls for justice; no one pleads a case with integrity. They rely on empty arguments, they utter lies; they conceive trouble and give birth to evil.

From Swedenborg: 
210. (I.) To will not to do evil to the neighbor is to love him. For he who loves another
does not do evil to him. …This is evident, that he who loves the neighbor does not
commit these evils. [Divine Providence]

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