Dear Rachel, Pastor Glenn, and Readers,
I am just writing this blog today because I wanted to make an analogy of how my life works. Some people get kicked down, beat up, and eventually give up. I do not. Last year I was about 2 months out of a relationship with Rachel and 3 months of mourning my mothers death. I felt hopeless and helpless. I spent a lot of time crying, praying, and just wishing that I didn't let go and die. All I could think of was how cruel and uncaring Rachel was to me and maybe how I would get her back. Then I thought about it I didnt want revenge I just wanted her to know how deeply she hurt me, how it felt to have a woman betray you at the highest level and judge your spirituality and mental well being when you are grieving. I wanted her to know that true friendship and love is something not to be taken lightly and being close, intimate, and sharing what we did together was wrong if she didn't really want it. My heart, my body, and my love is a vessel and I take the words "I love you very seriously" I also take sleeping with someone seriously I am too mature to care about selfish desire I was truly in love with Rachel and I held off desire and the lust I recieved from other women just to be with her because she was my true love. What I wanted to get at today is this.
Pastor Coleman Glenn is a Star Wars fan and in the Star Wars universe there is a lot of knowledge and great rhetoric that is prescribed by the Jedi World view. I want to make a Star Wars analogy to my life and so that both Rachel and Pastor Glenn know where I am coming from. My favorite Star Wars Movie is Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Why you might ask Byron? It is the most important movie in the whole series. Revelations are revealed. There is betrayal, relization of love, and the call to a purpose for Luke Skywalker. It is chaotic and brilliant! My life is like the Empire Strikes Back so I want Rachel, Pastor Glenn, and any of the Myatts or Friesens who read this to know that my analogy is this. Even though the Rebel forces seemed doomed in Episode V they still have hope and at the end of the movie all they want to do is make everything right and restore the galaxy to peace and order. In Episode VI : Return of The Jedi they do just that. Against incredible odds they save Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt and level everything in his fortress on Tattoine. They attempt to infiltrate the Empire through Endor and Luke is guided by his father Darth Vader to the Death Star. Han and Leia realize they are in love with each other after being two complete opposites and go on in future adventures to sire children. Luke and Leia realize they are family. The Rebels use the Ewoks unlikely heroes to help them battle the Empires forces on Endor. The most redeeming thing in the whole movie is that Darth Vader aka Anakin Skywalker after all the evil and hurt he has caused in the galaxy saves his son Luke from imminent death by defeating the Emperor and denounces the Dark Side. In his death at the end you see a force pattern of Anakin, Yoda, and Obi Won. My analogy conclusion even after the most evil things and the worst things and life if you believe and not give up and give your heart to God you can be like the Rebels were in Star Wars, victorious and live a life fulfilled by helping others. Rachel could make peace with me and make things right but she chooses not too. She is not truly sorry for the things she does as she told me that she does not apologize to anyone and she teaches Jonathan not to apologize. I though on the other hand apologize for what I know I have done wrong but I am unapologetic if I have just cause and reason. One thing about Jedi Philosophy in the Star Wars Universe is that Jedi are Selfless they are taught not to give into selfish desires and truly be altruistic. Anakin's downfall is that he was born a slave, was freed but his mother was left behind. He came back to save her and she had been totured by the Tuscan Raiders and died so he slaughtered the whole lot of them which was revenge and retaliation and just plain evil. I am not doing this blog or anything else I am doing subsequently to belittle or get revenge on Rachel. I truly love her. Anakin also fell in love with Padme and his clouded judgement and his unwillingness to wait his turn to be promoted in the Jedi ranks ultimately was the cause of his demise. Through the power of the dark side he was transformed into Darth Vader and became a power thirsty, selfish, and irrational man. In the end he lost his wife, his best friend in Obi Won, his humanity and never got to know his children. He walked around cold and mechanized more machine than human until his final battle with the Emperor. My point tonight to both Rachel, Pastor Glenn, The Myatts and Friesens and any of you reading this is that you can help yourself achieve what needs to be done. I cant say that it is strictly a Christian thing or a Religious thing because I have Atheist and Non Christian friends who work just as hard at achieving their goals but for me I never give up on those I care about and if I believe in something or someone I will fight and show them they mean something to me. Rachel Myatt I Believe In You!In the coming weeks I will be releasing a couple of short form films on Youtube telling of how much I loved Rachel, my encounter with New Church theology, and how I was treated by the Priesthood and how Rachel treated me in the aftermath of our relationship and friendship. I want everyone to realize Rachel was one if not the best friend I ever had. She said she would be there for me, would love me, and I could trust her. I believed her so much and through all my pain I still believe in her. I am putting this all in God's hands as it has always been and anyone who reads these please share them with your friends and family. I am not out to hurt Rachel in anyway shape or form. I do love her and Jonathan from the deepest regions of my heart and just because you say harsh things or express and relate true happenings and feelings doesnt mean you hate or wish evil on someone. I pray for Rachel and Jonathan every night and I know this blog is touching her in some kind of way because she reads it sometime and others read it and is what I am meant to do. When I do finally release my videos on youtube they will detail how much I love Rachel and Jonathan in story, pictures, and songs and that is why it has taken me so long. I want it to go viral but I want Rachel to know that I am not out to hurt her or degrade her but to let her know she is the one I would move heaven and earth for and after all the bad I still believe there is hope and good by the grace of God.
While I Usually End My Blogs with Scriptures, New Church Text, and Videos today I wanted to leave you with some Jedi words of wisdom and so that Rachel and Pastor Glenn know where my heart lies
"Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering." - Yoda "The ability to speak does not make you intelligent." - Qui-Gon Jinn "Your focus determines your reality." - Qui- Gon Jinn "If in anger you answer, then in shame you dwell." - Yoda
"In a dark place we find ourselves… a little more knowledge might light our way." - Yoda
"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." - Yoda "Those who do good things often have many enemies." - Zeth Fost
I believe that George Lucas took inspiration from the Bible and lots of other great parables and adventure stories and that the words and sayings and Star Wars are helpful in everyday life but I believe the Bible and God are the greatest source of inspiration in the universe and if you keep your focus on them then there is nothing you cant do. Rachel I am still here, I am still waiting for you, I am facing incredible hardship in my life as my father is sick and I don't know if I will lose him too but the one thing I want you to know is that I love you and if you didnt mean so much to me I would have been gone a long time ago. I love you and Jonathan with all my heart and that will never change.
I am just writing this blog today because I wanted to make an analogy of how my life works. Some people get kicked down, beat up, and eventually give up. I do not. Last year I was about 2 months out of a relationship with Rachel and 3 months of mourning my mothers death. I felt hopeless and helpless. I spent a lot of time crying, praying, and just wishing that I didn't let go and die. All I could think of was how cruel and uncaring Rachel was to me and maybe how I would get her back. Then I thought about it I didnt want revenge I just wanted her to know how deeply she hurt me, how it felt to have a woman betray you at the highest level and judge your spirituality and mental well being when you are grieving. I wanted her to know that true friendship and love is something not to be taken lightly and being close, intimate, and sharing what we did together was wrong if she didn't really want it. My heart, my body, and my love is a vessel and I take the words "I love you very seriously" I also take sleeping with someone seriously I am too mature to care about selfish desire I was truly in love with Rachel and I held off desire and the lust I recieved from other women just to be with her because she was my true love. What I wanted to get at today is this.
Pastor Coleman Glenn is a Star Wars fan and in the Star Wars universe there is a lot of knowledge and great rhetoric that is prescribed by the Jedi World view. I want to make a Star Wars analogy to my life and so that both Rachel and Pastor Glenn know where I am coming from. My favorite Star Wars Movie is Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back. Why you might ask Byron? It is the most important movie in the whole series. Revelations are revealed. There is betrayal, relization of love, and the call to a purpose for Luke Skywalker. It is chaotic and brilliant! My life is like the Empire Strikes Back so I want Rachel, Pastor Glenn, and any of the Myatts or Friesens who read this to know that my analogy is this. Even though the Rebel forces seemed doomed in Episode V they still have hope and at the end of the movie all they want to do is make everything right and restore the galaxy to peace and order. In Episode VI : Return of The Jedi they do just that. Against incredible odds they save Han Solo from Jabba the Hutt and level everything in his fortress on Tattoine. They attempt to infiltrate the Empire through Endor and Luke is guided by his father Darth Vader to the Death Star. Han and Leia realize they are in love with each other after being two complete opposites and go on in future adventures to sire children. Luke and Leia realize they are family. The Rebels use the Ewoks unlikely heroes to help them battle the Empires forces on Endor. The most redeeming thing in the whole movie is that Darth Vader aka Anakin Skywalker after all the evil and hurt he has caused in the galaxy saves his son Luke from imminent death by defeating the Emperor and denounces the Dark Side. In his death at the end you see a force pattern of Anakin, Yoda, and Obi Won. My analogy conclusion even after the most evil things and the worst things and life if you believe and not give up and give your heart to God you can be like the Rebels were in Star Wars, victorious and live a life fulfilled by helping others. Rachel could make peace with me and make things right but she chooses not too. She is not truly sorry for the things she does as she told me that she does not apologize to anyone and she teaches Jonathan not to apologize. I though on the other hand apologize for what I know I have done wrong but I am unapologetic if I have just cause and reason. One thing about Jedi Philosophy in the Star Wars Universe is that Jedi are Selfless they are taught not to give into selfish desires and truly be altruistic. Anakin's downfall is that he was born a slave, was freed but his mother was left behind. He came back to save her and she had been totured by the Tuscan Raiders and died so he slaughtered the whole lot of them which was revenge and retaliation and just plain evil. I am not doing this blog or anything else I am doing subsequently to belittle or get revenge on Rachel. I truly love her. Anakin also fell in love with Padme and his clouded judgement and his unwillingness to wait his turn to be promoted in the Jedi ranks ultimately was the cause of his demise. Through the power of the dark side he was transformed into Darth Vader and became a power thirsty, selfish, and irrational man. In the end he lost his wife, his best friend in Obi Won, his humanity and never got to know his children. He walked around cold and mechanized more machine than human until his final battle with the Emperor. My point tonight to both Rachel, Pastor Glenn, The Myatts and Friesens and any of you reading this is that you can help yourself achieve what needs to be done. I cant say that it is strictly a Christian thing or a Religious thing because I have Atheist and Non Christian friends who work just as hard at achieving their goals but for me I never give up on those I care about and if I believe in something or someone I will fight and show them they mean something to me. Rachel Myatt I Believe In You!In the coming weeks I will be releasing a couple of short form films on Youtube telling of how much I loved Rachel, my encounter with New Church theology, and how I was treated by the Priesthood and how Rachel treated me in the aftermath of our relationship and friendship. I want everyone to realize Rachel was one if not the best friend I ever had. She said she would be there for me, would love me, and I could trust her. I believed her so much and through all my pain I still believe in her. I am putting this all in God's hands as it has always been and anyone who reads these please share them with your friends and family. I am not out to hurt Rachel in anyway shape or form. I do love her and Jonathan from the deepest regions of my heart and just because you say harsh things or express and relate true happenings and feelings doesnt mean you hate or wish evil on someone. I pray for Rachel and Jonathan every night and I know this blog is touching her in some kind of way because she reads it sometime and others read it and is what I am meant to do. When I do finally release my videos on youtube they will detail how much I love Rachel and Jonathan in story, pictures, and songs and that is why it has taken me so long. I want it to go viral but I want Rachel to know that I am not out to hurt her or degrade her but to let her know she is the one I would move heaven and earth for and after all the bad I still believe there is hope and good by the grace of God.
While I Usually End My Blogs with Scriptures, New Church Text, and Videos today I wanted to leave you with some Jedi words of wisdom and so that Rachel and Pastor Glenn know where my heart lies
"In a dark place we find ourselves… a little more knowledge might light our way." - Yoda
"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose." - Yoda
I believe that George Lucas took inspiration from the Bible and lots of other great parables and adventure stories and that the words and sayings and Star Wars are helpful in everyday life but I believe the Bible and God are the greatest source of inspiration in the universe and if you keep your focus on them then there is nothing you cant do. Rachel I am still here, I am still waiting for you, I am facing incredible hardship in my life as my father is sick and I don't know if I will lose him too but the one thing I want you to know is that I love you and if you didnt mean so much to me I would have been gone a long time ago. I love you and Jonathan with all my heart and that will never change.
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