Rachel and Jonathan

Rachel and Jonathan
I Love you and Always Will

Sunday, November 20, 2011

A Message To The Dawson Creek New Church, Dawson Creek, British Columbia Canada

Dear Pastor Glenn, Rachel Myatt, and esteemed members of the Church,

I wanted to write this blog to all of you this morning to simply say as a brother in Christ I love you all.  Rachel Myatt was my dearest friend and she didn't realize the true love and friendship I had for her. She had a man who wanted to worship God with her and like her and who truly loved her and her son Jonathan.  I was willing to give up all I have in Texas what little family I have left. My jobs, my impending career, and everything to just love her.  God put that in my heart and since some of you dont believe in callings I am sorry but that was mine. Not only did my mother believe in this on her deathbed and bless Rachel and the Myatt family and give me her blessings to live and love them but my friends and other family were nothing but supportive and thought the world of Rachel.  When Rachel abandoned me it was the worst day of my life even worst than my mother passing.  You see my mother had been sick her whole life so I was in part relieved that she no longer had to suffer in this world. From the time I was a very small boy she had so many health problems but the one things she did everyday is love people to the fullest and be the best person she could be.  It showed how much she loved people when at her funeral service there was no more room in the Church and people had to stand outside or be turned away.  I took my friendship and relationship very seriously and I guess Rachel didn't understand how much I truly loved her and the meaning of  true friendship, honesty, unconditional love, and kindness.  I spent my whole life being bullied for my love of God, hated for the color of my skin, called ackward for being able to speak well and have a distinct dialect.  All I ever wanted was to be loved and not by anyone but someone special. Another Christian who loved God as much as I do. I saw that in Rachel but Rachel chose not to see that in me.  I read one of Pastor Glenn's blogs about how he feels others were not able to see what he and other New Church members see.  I was open to seeing it and started reading and I never ridiculed or put down Rachel for her faith but she constantly put down mine.  When I confronted the good Pastor he seemed not to understand that not only was I open to it and beginning to see it that was part of the calling I was conveying.  Not only was I called to Rachel but I was called to the Church because I told Rachel I wanted structure, family, love, and God and I was turned away.  Why? Was it because I believed different already and was willing to learn? No I feel because the members who I dealt with in the whole situation whether it be Rachel or Pastor Glenn didn't want to open their hearts to someone who was truly seeking God with them and see that I was true and genuine they were more worried about proving themselves right and defending their theology than opening their heart to someone who really wanted to love and worshop with them.  So Pastor Glenn that is why people are not receptive to the New Church teachings like you would want them to be because you don't give them time.  People like Rachel make assumptions, they belittle others, and they use their narrow New Church view instead of being open minded and being patient with others to help them understand and see what you see.  I have proof that Rachel Myatt knew I loved her and that I said I wanted not only worship with her but be one with her in the Lord.  I was willing to take a second look at my own religious convictions and try to understand those of the one I loved and I never was cruel or arrogant about it as Rachel was to me.  Why am I writing this blog today.  I am writing this because in the past year I have done and said many things both online and in public directed towards Rachel, her family, and both the Dawson Creek New Church and General Church of Canada that may have seemed offensive and hurtful.  I was trying to prove a point and show Rachel that her one act of cruelty and unkindness to someone that loved her dearly and would do anything for her and Jonathan could set off a chain of events that would go worldwide.   You say the Church is about 100,000 strong worldwide. If I were truly someone who wasn't Christian I could do something to let other Christians know of how I was treated in a big viral campaign or write about it on a bigger level but I have tried to keep it small to this blog and I came to the Church first.  That is the beauty of what I am doing that you never got Pastor Glenn and other Pastors and Reverends. I came to the Church about a spiritual matter between Rachel and I that I felt was important. It was bigotry. This was not about just Rachel and I having a relationship that went sour. It was about the bigotry and personal attacks she took upon me as someone who grew up Protestant a Protestant who wanted to be part of the New Church at that so Pastor don't tell me that people don't want to learn about the New Church because I did.   I am sorry that you didn't see that bigotry but I did first hand for a long time. If you preach about love, kindness, Lord God Jesus Christ, and all those beautiful things then how can you be cruel to your other Christian brothers and sisters especially one that wants to join you.  How can Rachel sit up on the Pastor's council and you knowingly know that she has hurt someone and spewed hate, hurt, and evil and not expect that person to want to react.  I reacted and you didn't want to listen.  Just like you say other people dont want to see what you want to see. You don't want to see the good in my heart, the unconditional love I have for Rachel even though she ignores me and puts me down.  I know in my heart it is my calling to make peace with Rachel. Is God talking in my ear as a direct calling? No He put that in my heart but I keep telling you that and other people around me see it both Christian and non Christian and two atheist have written you Pastor Glenn that were friends of mine and you still don't want to see it. How do you expect others to see the good in what you do if you don't see the good in what they do? If there is good in all Religion then how come my love of Rachel, my want for peace, forgiveness, and to have her back in my life is ugly to you? Christ is about forgiveness, love, long suffering, peace, and kindness. I suffered through Rachel putting me down, calling me horrible things, cursing me out, judging my mental state when i was in mourning and all the other evil things she did  but still I am about love. I dont hate Rachel Myatt I love her with all my heart but Rachel nor anyone else in I have encountered in the New Church in Canada want to see that. You would rather be right with you theology than to love another human being which is what your theology calls for. Pastor Glenn you would rather Rachel be apart and have evil between us than for us to make peace because I never asked you to try to make her talk to me I just told you that if she were truly Christian and if she truly were of the doctrine you speak of then she is being hypocritical. She is the one who wronged me but because I took that and tried to show her I loved her worldwide I am the bad guy. I dont think so.  I don't turn my back on my friends and most of my ex girlfriends are good friends with me now and one of them Amber who I talked to you about is like a sister to me.  I don't believe not giving up on people and continuing to love someone who has deeply wronged us is wrong. In Christ eyes it is the only thing to do.  So I want to end this with a couple of quotes and scriptures. I also want to once again apologize if it has seemed like I have attacked the whole Church of Dawson Creek but it is not meant to be. I as a Christian believe that if one part of the body is sick than it affects the whole whether that be Christendom as a whole or one person in a particular Church that affects others worldview of said Church and in that a case Rachel treated me with disrespect, unkindness, religious bigotry, and worst of all she judged my spiritual  and mental state at a time when I had just lost my mother and I needed love and encouragement and not to be torn down.  So may the Lord Jesus Christ Bless You all today and I will leave you with these scriptures and quotes.  I also love all of you and if you read this I hope that you will start seeing the love and true forgiveness and reconcilation that I have asked Rachel for.  I think of her as one of my best friends in Christ and I will never stop loving her that much. It is up for her to decide to end this and let all the hurt and hate go. I dont hate her and never will.

2 Timothy 3
 1 But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. 2 People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, 3 without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, 4 treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— 5 having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with such people.



 
I came to the Rachel and the Myatt family with an open heart and full of love and I still love Rachel and her family and I wanted both her and the New Church to realize my heart lies in loving and being good. I am just a human like everyone else but I take joy in righting my wrongs, forgiving and being forgiven, helping others, and making peace. Rachel hurts me everyday that she doesn't make peace with me and if you truly as  New Church members believe in that then why does she deny me that which I ask of her.

From Pastor Brian Zahnd's book  Unconditional: The Call of Jesus to Radical Forgiveness  (p.194, 195)

Reject The Glamorous for the Truly Beautiful

"Dostoevsky was right. It is beauty that saves the world. The beauty of unconditional love. The beauty of forgiving grace. The beauty of the cross. The beauty of cruciform love. The beauty of a Christlike love shaped by the cross. This is beauty we are called to practice when we are invited by Jesus to take up our cross and follow him. We must understand the call to the beauty of forgiveness - the beauty of forgoing retaliation for the practice of unconditoinal forgiveness. But this is too often forgotten or ignored. The call to take up the cross and follow Jesus is not a call to believe something about Jesus and His cross; it is the call to take up our own cross and do what Jesus did on His cross.
     
What did Jesus Do on the cross? He forgave unconditonally. This is what it means to take up your cross and follow Jesus--to forgive unconditonally.
When we reduce taking up the cross to adopting Christian doctrine alone, we deprive Christianity of its true beauty. And Christianity deprived of its true beauty can be downright ugly!Religously inspired intolerance can lead people to do extremely ugly things. Crusades and inquistions are what happen when Christianity loses the beauty of imitating Christ. A Christianity that , though orthodox in doctrine, is retalitory in attitude is a Christianity that has betrayed the cross and lost its  beauty. A Christianity that is absent the beauty of imitating Christ in nonretalitory , unconditonal forgiveness becomes a Christianity focused on its own interest and self perservation. . This is the ugly Christianity that demands rights and angrily protest when it is treated by the world as Christ was was treated by the world. The irony is tragic."


This is the love I have for Rachel that I have trying to make Rachel, her family Pastor Glenn and everyone else see. The people around me see it and they have tried to present it to Pastor Glenn and others in the New Church.  I tried to present my case worldwide and most see what is in my loving heart. I could hate Rachel and I could truly want revenge on her but I want more than that. I want Rachel to know even though she severely hurt me I forgive her. I need her forgiveness too not through Pastor Glenn or anyone else I need to hear it from her and only then will I have closure in my life because I love her that much that she means that much to me.  I can't make that happen with Rachel it is up to her to look deep inside her heart and see that I came to her because of God an not any other reason. I had plenty of women to choose from and I chose to love her and befriend her because of God and her love for God no more no less but she and others in the New Church choose not to see that.

I want to end this blog with this today.

From True Christian Religion 409(Swedenborg)

409. Before the Lord came into the world scarcely anyone knew what the internal man is or what charity is, and this is why in so many places He taught brotherly love, that is, charity; and this constitutes the distinction between the Old Testament or Covenant and the New. That good ought to be done from charity to the adversary and the enemy the Lord taught in Matthew:
Ye have heard that it hath been said to them of old time, Thou shalt love thy neighbor and hate thine enemy. But I say unto you, love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them that hurt you and persecute you; that ye may be sons of your Father who is in the heavens (Matt. 5:43-45).
And when Peter asked Him how often he should forgive one sinning against him, whether he should do so until seven times, He replied:
I say not unto thee, until seven times, but until seventy times seven (Matt. 18:21, 22).
And I have heard from heaven that the Lord forgives to everyone his sins, and never takes vengeance nor even imputes sin, because He is love itself and good itself; nevertheless, sins are not thereby washed away, for this can be done only by repentance. For when He told Peter to forgive until seventy times seven, what will not the Lord do?



http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M65EoJUKgAY This is For Rachel the song "Angry Anymore" by Ani Difranco.



God Bless All.

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