Dear Rachel,
Did you ever stop to think why we took our little sketch picture together. It was your idea. Do you think in the back of your mind that there was a reason for it. Two people that are not going to be together or never going to talk again would never have done such a thing. It is God's little way of telling you that everything happens for a reason. For me it was the best thing. I have all the proof of being there. I have your words, your pictures that I took, the ones you gave me. Everything I needed to start my book and all that I needed to make my cd of music and spoken word dedicated to you. You may think I am doing this to get revenge on you but I don't believe in that crap anymore. It is petty, it is childish, and stupid. All I want is for you to know that I truly love you and that you looked at me in such a bad light you never took the chance to see it. You didn't appreciate the struggle I had to go through to be with you, the conflict of interest sometimes, the nights wondering if you were the right girl. I have no doubts and I still love you with all my heart. Ill keep writing and declaring my love worldwide till you pick up the phone. I will probably be in Ireland later this year promoting my love for you and maybe in Canada this summer. I wont give up on you. God wont let me. If you or one person in your family would stop and think about the love and determination I have shown you and the unconditional love at that then maybe you would change your mind. I always hoped that you would be like my ex Amber in Winnipeg who even though I should have hated her, God directed me to just keep loving her and be her friend and eventually she saw through the pain she had caused me. You are not the only girl i have fought to keep in my life but you are the most important. I remember when I lost my best friend Scott for awhile we got into an arguement over a girl. 3 months we wouldn't talk to each other. I simply left him an email one day and told him he would always be loved like a brother by me but we needed to go our separate ways. We would see each other at shows and stand on opposite sides both glancing over. Finally in October of 2005 the day of the Nine Inch Nails concert that I finally got to meet Trent Reznor I also got my friend back. I was with my friend Allison he walked by me and instead of us walking away from each other we immediately walked up to each other and hugged each other and that was the end of it. Life is too short to waste time on nonsense. I don't feel that I am wasting my time on you and maybe you think why is this guy putting so much energy into me when there are other girls out there. I love you Rachel Myatt and it has always been you and my heart will never let me feel otherwise. I go on dates and I have more girlfriends now than I ever have before but I love you Rachel Myatt, my sister, my best friend, the girl who was my lover, the beautiful person that believed in me. I know she is in there and I know you are so much more than the person you tried to be to me in the end. I love you and I hope you will pick up the phone soon and talk to me. If you cant do that at least write. My birthday is exactly two weeks from today and I would love nothing more than to end this with you. I don't need money, cake, material possessions. The only thing I want is peace with the woman I love. Will you let your pride aside and bury the hatchet with me or will it eat at you and consume you and you resent me for the love Im spreading about you. Your Choice
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