Unanswered Prayers: Christmas Disappointment

God has given me a sign that it is ok to let go and to do what I need to make me happy.  Rachel saw my prayer because she was on here looking at the pictures.  She ignored them. God heard them and many other people prayed for me.  Though Christmas is over in 4 hours my time and 6 hours in British Columbia where Rachel lives I know now that she wont respond.  Next week I will start to tell my story worldwide in the form of the "Letters to Rachel" final draft of my book.  What Rachel never knew is that everyday when we were a couple I wrote a journal of how much I loved her and she never got a chance to see that.  It is part of the Letters to Rachel book. They were responses to her emails and how much she meant to me but she never stayed around long enough to know how much I truly cared for her and Jonathan. My finished result will have words and pictures.  I am very sad Rachel that on Christ day of birth the day that He was born so that you and I could live a life not burdened by sin that you would ignore me.  All the problems you had with me would just wash away if you would make peace with me.  I no longer feel so it doesn't matter if you get mad and want to sue me or do anything to me because you broke my heart and my soul a long time ago when you spoke ill of my mom and belittled me and put me down.  One of the New Church representatives said I should let it go.  I then attempted to ask him how would he feel in my situation and I threw rhetoricals at him on why I have a right to feel the way I do. He could no longer find excuses because he knew in his heart that what you did was cruel and wrong and no religion supports that kind of cruelty or hurting of people. I loved you Rachel and Jonathan Myatt more than any two people I ever loved. You were my family. I had nothing but love for your family, your Church, and anyone that had of been your friend would have been in my heart. I am sorry you never saw that. I have a story to tell now and I had always hoped you and I would find peace and be in each others lives again but you only care about yourself.  If you truly cared about hurting me, Jonathan, your family, and your Church a phone call would be all it would have taken. I love you enough to go away forever if you hate me that much. I am sorry you do I think the world of you.

You were my best friend Rachel Myatt I still believe in you. I wish you believed in me and would end all this hurt and pain between us. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kCi7a2D-R7w&feature=related  That is how I feel my friend without you and Jonathan.

You are my dear friend please put this behind us.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5zzmOdqi-g