Rachel and Jonathan

Rachel and Jonathan
I Love you and Always Will

Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Dawson Creek Church of the New Jerusalem (Memorandum)

Dear Members of the Dawson Creek Church of the New Jerusalem,

I will always have nothing but the utmost respect for my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.  I loved one of your fold with the purest most endearing love I have ever been handed. I am writing this blog as both a love letter and a precursor to you.  I do love your sister Rachel Myatt very much. In the past year I have written, said, and did a lot of things that may have seemed harsh and hurtful and that has never been my intention.  Rachel is the one person who captivated my soul to truly love someone. I love her and her son Jonathan like I have never loved anyone before.  I came to her at a time in my life where things were falling apart.  I lost a parent, my mother and when Rachel said she loved me and wanted to be there for me I believed her.  I always thought of Rachel as being one of the most loving, caring, and beautiful people I had ever met.  Instead of showing me that side she abandoned me, showed me disrespect, hatefulness, cursed me to my face, and treated me like an enemy. This was all after telling me how much she loved me and wanted to continue our relationship. I felt betrayed, broken, and very saddened as God had led me to Rachel after having many other women who wanted me in their lives. I was led to Rachel because of her love of God but instead of share her love of God with me she constantly put down the way I believed and I loved God and that was very disheartening when all I ever strived to do was be one with her.  I gave Rachel a true friendship, courtship, and a love that transcends all heaven and earth. I still believe in her to this day.  You can feel however you want towards me I don't care.  I know that God has guided me on a path to keep loving Rachel and Jonathan and to go worldwide telling a story of that love so that she will see that she truly hurt someone that needed her, loved her, and would have done anything for Jonathan and herself.  I wanted you to know that my mother who passed on didn't want me to stay and watch her die she gave me her permission to go see Rachel and Jonathan and live my life and be with her.  I stayed until she passed away though and Rachel and Amanda Myatt both were there in spirit with me I still have the text in my old phone and in my SD memory card. I love Rachel with all my heart and I know that a lot of the Dawson Creek New Church is related to her.  It was my dream to one day meet you all know you and love you. I went through so many obstacles to love Rachel and it seemed she never appreciated it. She complained no one wanted to accept her faith. There I was open hearted and open minded wanting to be with her in the Lord. I was faithful to her even though I was lonely I hadn't had real girlfriend for 5 years because my former one died of a brain tumor.  Suddenly God had given me a choice and I chose Rachel because of what I thought was a pure love for God and other people.  The reason I am writing this letter and blog today is because I wanted you to know that in the coming weeks I will be making videos on youtube, printing materials, and just letting Rachel know I love her worldwide.  I mean no disrespect to the Church but I have to do this and mention the Church in order to tell my story correctly and accurately.  I want to commend your wonderful Pastor Glenn he has been a great help during this whole ordeal.  I have come to him with many questions and at time it seems like I was attacking him and it was never the case. I just wanted him to question and justify his believes to how Rachel lives her life.  I have only wanted peace between Rachel and I and I have made many attempts at this. It is she who declines.   You can only hide from the evil you do for so long dear Church and when someone loves you as much as I love Rachel then love wins over the evil. Rachel chose to treat me evil and be hurtful. She chose to be selfish, say things against me and my deceased mother, call me damaged, broken, and sick when I was grieving. That is not loving and that is not Christian.  At first I wanted revenge on her but I chose to get her back another way figuratively speaking.  I chose love. I have written letters to New Churches worldwide. This blog has many forms not just this one. It is posted up on message board worldwide. I get lots of people telling me how they are inspired that I don't hate her and seek to forgive and seek forgiveness and reconcilation. Rachel Myatt was my best friend and I hope that she realizes that she is missing out on a true friend and she is also being an example for the New Church especially Dawson Creek worldwide.  She can change this all by extending her hand in a phone call or gesture of good will. If not I am not a person to just lie back and give up. I have felt like that at times like when she abandoned me but God lifted me to a place so full of love and determination it will be like letting him down if I give up on Rachel now.  I pray for Rachel and Jonathan each night and I sometimes post those prayers on here.  I asked for no material things for Christmas but for people to pray that Rachel and I find peace. I even extended my heart and hand for Rachel to call me and make peace with me on Christmas.  I am saddened that I never heard from her. Still I believe in the Lord Jesus Christ, His Love, His Promise, and His Grace. I could do so many things to hurt Rachel but I will not try to do that. I am just going to wish her well. Kill her with kindness and continue to reach out to her even if she wants to ignore me. You know who knows how much I love her and who sees in my heart the true love I have for her?  God and that is all that matters. People can make fun of me, put me down, call me obsessed, or listen to Rachel tell stories that are mean and unkind about me. I heard it all before. Fact is I love her and Jonathan like my own flesh and she was the one I would have given my life for, her and her son.  She is the one missing out on true friendship and love and in the process she is representing your Church's values, belief system, and morals.  I believe in honesty, truth, kindness, integrity, and understanding. Rachel showed me none of those in the end. So before you judge me or chastise me for what I am doing, just remember. Rachel had the chance to do things right. She could have been kind, we could have talked, we could have done things amicably but she chose to be hateful, disrespectful, and selfish. I am and have been serious about all I have said I am doing and I will not back down from my word. I also made Rachel a promise through God that I will love her unconditionally and through this I have to keep loving her and keep that promise to God. Rachel is the kind of person who doesn't face problems and fears head on. I am the kind of person who puts them out in the open and deals with them.  I embrace my destiny and face it head on. When you hide from the evil you have done you only give it way to let guilt or other feelings consume you. You let others know that you are a prisoner to that which you have done. Pride, Vanity, and Darkness in one's heart do not make one a beacon of hope. Humility, Kindness, and Long Suffering are more endearing and beautiful expressions of love. I hope she will finally open her eyes to the importance of making peace with me. I will be patient, loving, and kind but I also will be stern and steadfast.  I will just take the time to say thank you for reading my blog.  I sent Pastor Glenn a blessing for you all because even though I don't know you I love you all because of my love for Rachel that love extends to you because even if she is distant she is still my sister in Christ and that makes you my brothers and sisters also.  I wish you all well. 

This song is  Dedicated to Rachel and Jonathan Myatt and To my Mother. I miss you all without you and Jonathan in my life Rachel its like having you dead like my mother. I can still make things right with you in this mortal realm and I want to. You hurt me everyday you ignore me and deny us the peace and beautiful friendship we could have if you would just forgive and let go. Id give anything for One more day to let you know you mean the world to me!
One More Day By Vast : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQldouWu2PQ

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