Dear Rachel,
This message is exclusively to you. I am asking that you find it in your heart to make peace with me and call me. The choice is yours and you wont find out till next week how much I really love you and your family but if you truly want to end all this and you have any love for me in your heart at all then I am reaching out to you. If you hate that I put the pictures of you and Jonathan up in "A Chistmas Wish" I am sorry. I love both of you and all I wanted last year and this year is to have both of you in my life. I was reduced to just pictures because you abandoned me. You have severely damaged the love I have for people. I cannot trust anyone and I have been broken and barely can look people in the eyes. You may be living your life how you want to and think what you did to me was justified but you have no right to judge me for what I do in the aftermath. I could have posted up pictures of you and did stuff to hurt you. I could of done lots of things to hurt you Rachel but this blog and my actions have only been because I love you and Jonathan Rachel. Do you think I would hurt your child. Did you not see how much I was happy to play with him. I saw how beautiful he was and all the wonderful qualities he had and I wanted to be there for him as I wanted to be there for you. Out of all the women I dated with children I never wanted to have any of them to love as much as I wanted to have you and Jonathan as my family. I am sorry you didnt appreciate or see the sacrifice or the true love I had for both you and Jonathan. So on Christmas Day just know you could have made a difference in someones life by ending all this but you would rather go on like this. You would rather know you hurt me everyday. Never know what I am doing or saying. Not knowing if I am trying to put something up to hurt you on my blog when all I am wanting to do is love you and your son. Would our Lord Jesus Christ treat anyone like that? Rachel, God is calling you to make peace with me. He is calling me to make peace with you. Here I am open hearted, open armed, I love you. I love your family. I still want you in my life. You can contact me on this blog. You can talk to Pastor Glenn he has my info if you have lost it. You can do whatever. I promised you even if you didnt want to be in my life if you just came to me I would stop it all the blog. The campaign everything. Are you that cruel? Do you hate me that much that you can't see that I love you enough to let you go forever and all you have to do is have the courage to talk to me. I will never be the same again after what you did to me I can't trust anyone to have a relationship and I wont want any kids because you hurt me because I wanted to be Jonathan's stepfather, his friend, and be there for him. I wanted to be your best friend in Christ, your partner, your companion. When someone deals you a blow of betrayal and hurt like you did me then my heart is to broken too much to ever care again. I was just a game to you I guess someone to pass your lonely days, a glorified pen pal. After all the courting and love I had for you, you just thought you could text me abandon me and things would return to normal. Did you ever take life and love seriously Rachel Myatt. You deserve so much more than I have done. You dont deserve my love, the mercy, or how much I care about you but I know what I am doing is better than hating you, trashing you and being really hurtful as I could have done. I am doing what I am doing because I love you so take it anyway you want. You wanted to erase me like I never existed but you forgot about the pictures and paper trail of letters and emails you left so that can never happen. So you can sue me or take legal action against me if you dont like me putting pictures up you have already hurt me enough what is one more blow to my heart? You never loved me and after what you did. I feel I am not worthy of being loved.
So to let you know how much I loved Jonathan and how much having you and him in my life meant to me here is a song to let you know. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iin2EgTsC9o
Im sorry for loving you and wanting to have a family with you and Jonathan and have a normal human life. That would have been the greatest gift anyone could have given me. Love and a family of my own. I thought I deserved that but I guess not.
This message is exclusively to you. I am asking that you find it in your heart to make peace with me and call me. The choice is yours and you wont find out till next week how much I really love you and your family but if you truly want to end all this and you have any love for me in your heart at all then I am reaching out to you. If you hate that I put the pictures of you and Jonathan up in "A Chistmas Wish" I am sorry. I love both of you and all I wanted last year and this year is to have both of you in my life. I was reduced to just pictures because you abandoned me. You have severely damaged the love I have for people. I cannot trust anyone and I have been broken and barely can look people in the eyes. You may be living your life how you want to and think what you did to me was justified but you have no right to judge me for what I do in the aftermath. I could have posted up pictures of you and did stuff to hurt you. I could of done lots of things to hurt you Rachel but this blog and my actions have only been because I love you and Jonathan Rachel. Do you think I would hurt your child. Did you not see how much I was happy to play with him. I saw how beautiful he was and all the wonderful qualities he had and I wanted to be there for him as I wanted to be there for you. Out of all the women I dated with children I never wanted to have any of them to love as much as I wanted to have you and Jonathan as my family. I am sorry you didnt appreciate or see the sacrifice or the true love I had for both you and Jonathan. So on Christmas Day just know you could have made a difference in someones life by ending all this but you would rather go on like this. You would rather know you hurt me everyday. Never know what I am doing or saying. Not knowing if I am trying to put something up to hurt you on my blog when all I am wanting to do is love you and your son. Would our Lord Jesus Christ treat anyone like that? Rachel, God is calling you to make peace with me. He is calling me to make peace with you. Here I am open hearted, open armed, I love you. I love your family. I still want you in my life. You can contact me on this blog. You can talk to Pastor Glenn he has my info if you have lost it. You can do whatever. I promised you even if you didnt want to be in my life if you just came to me I would stop it all the blog. The campaign everything. Are you that cruel? Do you hate me that much that you can't see that I love you enough to let you go forever and all you have to do is have the courage to talk to me. I will never be the same again after what you did to me I can't trust anyone to have a relationship and I wont want any kids because you hurt me because I wanted to be Jonathan's stepfather, his friend, and be there for him. I wanted to be your best friend in Christ, your partner, your companion. When someone deals you a blow of betrayal and hurt like you did me then my heart is to broken too much to ever care again. I was just a game to you I guess someone to pass your lonely days, a glorified pen pal. After all the courting and love I had for you, you just thought you could text me abandon me and things would return to normal. Did you ever take life and love seriously Rachel Myatt. You deserve so much more than I have done. You dont deserve my love, the mercy, or how much I care about you but I know what I am doing is better than hating you, trashing you and being really hurtful as I could have done. I am doing what I am doing because I love you so take it anyway you want. You wanted to erase me like I never existed but you forgot about the pictures and paper trail of letters and emails you left so that can never happen. So you can sue me or take legal action against me if you dont like me putting pictures up you have already hurt me enough what is one more blow to my heart? You never loved me and after what you did. I feel I am not worthy of being loved.
So to let you know how much I loved Jonathan and how much having you and him in my life meant to me here is a song to let you know. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iin2EgTsC9o
Im sorry for loving you and wanting to have a family with you and Jonathan and have a normal human life. That would have been the greatest gift anyone could have given me. Love and a family of my own. I thought I deserved that but I guess not.
No comments:
Post a Comment