Dear Rachel and Readers,
I wish that whatever it is that stops you from making peace with me and whatever insecurities and doubts you had about me they would not keep you from the love I know that you have in your heart. I only came to you and loved you because I loved you beneath your tough exterior I loved and still love you for all you are. You can ignore me, you can pretend that this doesn't touch your heart but I know that it does. I know this blog does affect you. I know your Church has been concerned and if you or they think that I have just been bluffing or trying to pull the wool over your eyes then you only look at the youtube videos and how I took time out of my life for over half a year to blog about you. I could let you go and just walk away but I would be betraying my heart and God's love that He gave me for you and Jonathan. This is bigger than me and you Rachel and its can shape the future for both of us. I want anyone reading to know that I love Rachel Myatt with all my heart. I have the utmost respect for the Church of the New Jerusalem as their Pastor should find out in the next day or so. I give everyday of my life and love to the fullest but Rachel and Jonathan Myatt were the people I loved with all my heart and all my life. However extreme and dramatic that may sound to some I miss them everyday and it seems like a piece of me is missing. Rachel I am calling on you and the Church for an end to this pain and hurt. I want harmony between us. You truly hurt me with all the cruel things you said and the way you treated me when you said you loved me and wanted to be with me. I needed support and true love and friendship not a person calling me crazy and tearing me down because I was a little under the weather. I hope when your parents pass on you will never know the hurt of having someone ridicule and put you down for grieving. It was not very pleasant for you to treat me less than a person. I want to leave both you Rachel and the Church of the New Jerusalem a video of one of my favorite songs today. It is about accepting others and what happens when we treat others differently. You will never know how much you damaged and hurt my soul Rachel but I am also strong and everything I said I would do I have done in return or I am doing but I am doing it with love not with intent to get revenge or hurt your character or embarass you. I am sorry you are ashamed and embarrased with me. I thought that you truly cared and loved me and would be proud to be by my side. I was proud to be with you and Jonathan and I never loved any two people as much as I love you. So I leave you with this video by Pennywise. Listen to the words because they are about being judgmental, hateful, and treating people who are different than us cruel. It is called "Anyone Listening" I hope that anyone who reads this blog today and who loves their fellow man understands where I am coming from and anyone in the New Church who has thought ill about me and has condoned Rachel's actions on the merit of free will may think about my free will. I could have chose to be hateful and retaliate with a great amount of animosity and get revenge. Instead I used the internet, the power of the spoken word, type and print to show my anger, my love, and my intent. It seems for the sake of selfish free will that you would rather people hate and never reconcile and forgive each other Church of the New Jerusalem. You would rather the evil and resentment fester inside until one person finally seeks revenge. That is what I have felt like you want. If you want a PR disaster on your hands then that is fine. I am ready to start the revolution. I would rather make peace with Rachel Myatt and end all this though.
Rachel Myatt I need you to know this. I was and am willing to risk it all to show you that I love you and Jonathan. I spent my whole life being judged, rejected, put down, hurt , and abused but when I met you none of that mattered. It still doesnt. I dont care what your parents think of me, your Church, or anyone that reads this blog all I know is that I was called to love you and I will stand by that. It was always about you and Jonathan and when you love someone that much you dont minde making a fool out of yourself, going to the ends of the earth, or putting your life on the line. You thought I wanted to die so that I could manipulate you into staying with me, you were wrong. I wanted to die because the love I have for you made me feel like I was truly loved and alive. It was everything God wanted me to be and still does and being there with you and Jonathan changed me in ways I could never explain. No, Rachel a part of me died when you went away. I am willing to fight, to shout it out loud, and face any obstacle in the world to let you know I love you and Jonathan and that is what I am doing. I wish you and your family would get that. I love you, I love you, I love you Rachel.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g36AR2apOLA
Anyone Listening By Pennywise
Far below beneath a burning hot sun, our civility's waking up,
hate your neighbor cause he's not your kind, fell out of favor,
now he's out of luck, get in your car, fuel up and get a job,
you got no worries, you don't care that much,
pass the beggars as they lie out on the street,
just look away and roll your windows up, you don't have to worry,
he's not one of us, yeah!
Is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
don't care much, you'd rather kill
Check out Johnny as he plays out in the street, keeps to himself,
he doesn't say too much, can't get along with the kids in school,
likes to make bombs and blow things up,
his mom and dad think everything's fine,
they got no worries, they don't care that much,
all that tension bottled up inside, one day soon now he's gonna erupt,
you don't have to worry, he's not one of us, yeah,
is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
don't care much, you'd rather kill
And I settled it, it was close as one inch and I saw everything,
all men is good and all men is evil, hope to forget the chime,
I laid back for generous efforts,
good will and bold evil to lurch back in time,
then can reality settle it all forever now,
I saw the rebellion challenge it,
it was something wrong and then I marched towards the authority
and I say it never exists in here,
is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
don't care much, you'd rather kill
God Bless All
I wish that whatever it is that stops you from making peace with me and whatever insecurities and doubts you had about me they would not keep you from the love I know that you have in your heart. I only came to you and loved you because I loved you beneath your tough exterior I loved and still love you for all you are. You can ignore me, you can pretend that this doesn't touch your heart but I know that it does. I know this blog does affect you. I know your Church has been concerned and if you or they think that I have just been bluffing or trying to pull the wool over your eyes then you only look at the youtube videos and how I took time out of my life for over half a year to blog about you. I could let you go and just walk away but I would be betraying my heart and God's love that He gave me for you and Jonathan. This is bigger than me and you Rachel and its can shape the future for both of us. I want anyone reading to know that I love Rachel Myatt with all my heart. I have the utmost respect for the Church of the New Jerusalem as their Pastor should find out in the next day or so. I give everyday of my life and love to the fullest but Rachel and Jonathan Myatt were the people I loved with all my heart and all my life. However extreme and dramatic that may sound to some I miss them everyday and it seems like a piece of me is missing. Rachel I am calling on you and the Church for an end to this pain and hurt. I want harmony between us. You truly hurt me with all the cruel things you said and the way you treated me when you said you loved me and wanted to be with me. I needed support and true love and friendship not a person calling me crazy and tearing me down because I was a little under the weather. I hope when your parents pass on you will never know the hurt of having someone ridicule and put you down for grieving. It was not very pleasant for you to treat me less than a person. I want to leave both you Rachel and the Church of the New Jerusalem a video of one of my favorite songs today. It is about accepting others and what happens when we treat others differently. You will never know how much you damaged and hurt my soul Rachel but I am also strong and everything I said I would do I have done in return or I am doing but I am doing it with love not with intent to get revenge or hurt your character or embarass you. I am sorry you are ashamed and embarrased with me. I thought that you truly cared and loved me and would be proud to be by my side. I was proud to be with you and Jonathan and I never loved any two people as much as I love you. So I leave you with this video by Pennywise. Listen to the words because they are about being judgmental, hateful, and treating people who are different than us cruel. It is called "Anyone Listening" I hope that anyone who reads this blog today and who loves their fellow man understands where I am coming from and anyone in the New Church who has thought ill about me and has condoned Rachel's actions on the merit of free will may think about my free will. I could have chose to be hateful and retaliate with a great amount of animosity and get revenge. Instead I used the internet, the power of the spoken word, type and print to show my anger, my love, and my intent. It seems for the sake of selfish free will that you would rather people hate and never reconcile and forgive each other Church of the New Jerusalem. You would rather the evil and resentment fester inside until one person finally seeks revenge. That is what I have felt like you want. If you want a PR disaster on your hands then that is fine. I am ready to start the revolution. I would rather make peace with Rachel Myatt and end all this though.
Rachel Myatt I need you to know this. I was and am willing to risk it all to show you that I love you and Jonathan. I spent my whole life being judged, rejected, put down, hurt , and abused but when I met you none of that mattered. It still doesnt. I dont care what your parents think of me, your Church, or anyone that reads this blog all I know is that I was called to love you and I will stand by that. It was always about you and Jonathan and when you love someone that much you dont minde making a fool out of yourself, going to the ends of the earth, or putting your life on the line. You thought I wanted to die so that I could manipulate you into staying with me, you were wrong. I wanted to die because the love I have for you made me feel like I was truly loved and alive. It was everything God wanted me to be and still does and being there with you and Jonathan changed me in ways I could never explain. No, Rachel a part of me died when you went away. I am willing to fight, to shout it out loud, and face any obstacle in the world to let you know I love you and Jonathan and that is what I am doing. I wish you and your family would get that. I love you, I love you, I love you Rachel.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g36AR2apOLA
Anyone Listening By Pennywise
Far below beneath a burning hot sun, our civility's waking up,
hate your neighbor cause he's not your kind, fell out of favor,
now he's out of luck, get in your car, fuel up and get a job,
you got no worries, you don't care that much,
pass the beggars as they lie out on the street,
just look away and roll your windows up, you don't have to worry,
he's not one of us, yeah!
Is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
don't care much, you'd rather kill
Check out Johnny as he plays out in the street, keeps to himself,
he doesn't say too much, can't get along with the kids in school,
likes to make bombs and blow things up,
his mom and dad think everything's fine,
they got no worries, they don't care that much,
all that tension bottled up inside, one day soon now he's gonna erupt,
you don't have to worry, he's not one of us, yeah,
is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
don't care much, you'd rather kill
And I settled it, it was close as one inch and I saw everything,
all men is good and all men is evil, hope to forget the chime,
I laid back for generous efforts,
good will and bold evil to lurch back in time,
then can reality settle it all forever now,
I saw the rebellion challenge it,
it was something wrong and then I marched towards the authority
and I say it never exists in here,
is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
is there anyone listening to this beautiful tragedy,
is there anyone watching this wonderful nightmare,
don't care much, you'd rather kill
God Bless All
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