Dear Rachel and Readers,
"Be the change you wish to see in the world”. Gandhi.
This Blog is inspired today by The Lord Jesus Christ, Emmanuel Swedenborg, Reverend Robert S. Junge, and Rachel Myatt
Why Does God Let Bad Things Happen?
The following is an excerpt from the sermon of the same name by Rev. Robert S. Junge."Permission of evil lets us see the consequences of our faults. It is an invitation to change our ways. Take for example the coach of a team. On Monday morning he shows the team a video of how they played. He certainly doesn’t will the mistakes that show up on the screen. He hopes that each player will learn from his mistakes and play that much better the next time. And the better they learn to play the more they will love the game and respect the coach and their team mates. In the game of life, we can learn to love and respect our Divine Coach and our neighbors on the team. When we do, we really enter into the joy of life." http://www.swedenborgstudy.com/sermons/baltimore/pc/bad.htm
How right and beautiful that statement is? I want to tell you how it applies to this blog and why this blog is still going strong. I believed in Rachel Myatt. I never gave up on her the whole time we were friends and we were a couple. There were times when she said things to me that made me want to give up on her but I knew I had to keep treating her with love and respect. I said somethings sometimes that she didn't like but I always listened to her and I tried to agree to disagree. She always tried to make me seem wrong and that nothing I did was right. One of my friends pointed out something today about Rachel abandoning me and saying the things she said about me and about my mother at the time. My friend Kati said this "Dogs and cats take 3 weeks maybe to grieve over but Parents you may never get over" I thought about it and how Rachel just assumed all these things about me when she had no idea of what I was going through. She never asked me how I felt she just assumed I was sad, miserable, and said I was damaged. Then she put up on her messenger that I was sick and said all these horrible things about me. How was that loving or charitable? It wasn't I could have done so many things to get revenge on her for being so cruel but instead God lead me to love her. It is not like I didn't have evil in my heart or that I didn't want her to suffer at one time. What she doesn't understand and many of the New Church Pastors and members don't understand I had every opportunity to "get her good" so to say. I had a list of her neighbors, family, all accessible knowledge on the internet. I could have sent out letters of hate, posted compromising pictures of her, slandered her in all sorts of ways and my friends were ready to help. Instead I started the "Letters To Rachel" blog and letter writing campaign to let her know that while I do love her unconditionally that she did hurt me and that doubting other peoples love of God and love of each other is not Christian. I have said some pretty harsh things on this blog but most of them were true about what happened between us. I was told by someone that they loved me and wanted to be with me and when I asked them if that was what they still wanted they said yes. I could have put up all our emails, our transcribed text messages, our messenger conversations and pictures but I realized that was not the way to go. I used two emails to prove a point of how hypocritical Rachel was to me. I put up pictures of only her and some of Jonathan not out of disrespect but because I love them so much. I did not put up the pictures of Rachel and I because she is ashamed of being with me. She showed me that when I was there. She looked around at her family and let other people influence her not to be with me when I was gone. I remember being at dinner with her family and instead of calling me her boyfriend she called me her friend. We had supposedly been a couple for like 5 months by then but she was ashamed of me. When I was helping her take care of the kids she kept when the parents showed up she didn't address me as her boyfriend she addressed me as her friend. I felt like I was nothing and nobody. Here I was willing to do anything for her, I came to Canada at one of the worst times in my life, I asked her if she still wanted me to come. I put her job and the children she kept, their livelihood before mine. I didnt want to interfere in her job and was even not going to come. I had to fight with the state department to get my passport and when I finally did get to go to the airport my whole day was delayed instead of 9 hours to get to Rachel it took 16 all this while grieving and recollecting about my mother and my family. If she truly loved me at all she would have tried to understand that I had a lot on my mind and that just being with her and Jonathan through that troubled time meant the world to me. I loved every moment we spent together and I would have liked to done more but I had told Rachel ahead of time to just take me and do things with me. She kept asking me what I wanted to do and I didn't really know because one I was in a foriegn place and two I didn't really know all I know is I was happy being with the woman I loved.
In the Bible it says this.
James 4:12
There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?
Rachel first proceeded to break up with my by text message not having the courage to talk to me on the phone. I would have not been so broken and hurt if she had not did something so selfish but she did not want to face the reality of the situation. Then when I felt like dying and thought about acting on it she called the Police and Fire Department neither one of them could find me it was by an act of God that I made it home. I went to the Mausoleum to where my mom was buried to just talk to her and pray and that is what Rachel never knew. Though I wanted to give up on life that night I stayed alive because I loved Rachel. Rachel didn't care enough to be kind and actually talk to me it was all about her for the next couple of weeks about how sick I was, damaged, and mentally messed up I was. All to justify the evil that she was doing. That is why I came to the Church I wanted to know why that they would teach such a selfish doctrine. She was using her New Church theology to do evil to others. Now we are man and we are evil but it seems to me that Christians of any sort would never use God to justify evil even if God allows it. So that is why I called on Pastor Glenn about the whole situation and it is why that my letters about the New Church and to the New Church have come about. I have new ones printed to go out this week to different religons. I am still waiting to make peace with Rachel and maybe a good hearted New Church person will talk me out of doing this I dont know but it is in my heart to do it right now. Am I doing it out of revenge. No. See unlike Rachel putting down the way I was raised and my love of God I actually wanted to worship with her. I didn't fully understand but could appreciate Swedenborgs message and so effectively with her evil attitude she turned me away. It seemed hedonistic and Satanic to me and that is exactly what I asked Pastor Glenn about. It may seems like I am going in circles telling this story but I wanted to make a point today. This is happening to Rachel Myatt because of the evil she has done and her comment to me about there being no consequences for anything she does. How many of us really believe that if we do evil to others that we deserve not to have evil done to us? Not many most of us believe that while God does not wish for us to seek revenge and evil upon others that it could happen that it is returned to us in someway down the line. Retribution and Karma per se not necessarily revenge. Do I expect to be punished for writing this blog. I am punished everyday having to look at the woman I love and her beautiful son that I also love by writing this but I also am doing it out of love and to show Rachel that even though she treated me evil and we both hurt each other I believe that through God we can be reunited and in the past couple of weeks she has no idea of all the kind things I have initiated in her and Jonathan's name. I love you Rachel Myatt and I love Jonathan and so for 2012 I am not going to give up on you, rather I want all the darkness out of my heart so I can love you completely and kill you with kindness. That is what this blog was supposed to always be about but I let some of the evil slip into my heart and get the better of me. God has put me on a track to show Rachel that she does mean the world to me and to not give up on her or her family. Do you think I don't sit up at night and think about all the people that read this and think what they must think of Rachel? A lot of my friends hate her for what she did to me. It did change my life but instead of seek revenge I want reconcilation. I want to talk to her again. I want us to rekindle at least our friendship and who knows what will come of that. I put my faith in God and Rachel has to want that but I never give up on her because Lord Jesus Christ has instilled it in my heart to never let what happened sour my love for Rachel. So Rachel and Church of the New Jerusalem the ball is now in your court. Do I spend my time learning and loving with you? Or do I tell the reasons why one should not join you and worship and how I was turned away. I am praying that God show me the answer and pray that God will bring peace between Rachel and I. I will say a quick prayer so that all will know where my heart is.
My Lord Jesus Christ,
Please hear my prayer this day for peace with Rachel and Peace with the New Church. I want to have harmony with them both. I do love Rachel very much and I know you are looking into her heart and giving her the insight on this situation as you are doing with mine. I ask that one of my brothers or sisters who wants to talk to me about this peace and love in the New Church not only pray for me but come to me through email or whatever means and help me to be guided to this peace with Rachel. I know through only you Oh Lord can this be accomplished and it is your will. I do not want to have this hurt and animosity between Rachel and I anymore she is my best friend and I love her with all my heart. Please let her know of what I have done to show her and Jonathan how much I love them. I ask for this because I know you hear me Lord and you will answer if I believe. I have been patient and long suffering and have never gave up on Rachel. Please forgive me for any transgressions I have made against her as she is my dearest sister in your name Lord Jesus Christ. I ask all of this through you.
Amen.
I put my prayers up because my love of God is serious and my love of Rachel is serious and I will do anything to let her know how much she and Jonathan mean to me. I am not praying out in the open to be hypocritical but praying so that people know I am not ashamed of my faith, my love for God, or being a Christian. It comes before everything else in my life.
I want people of all faiths to know this. I love Rachel Myatt. Rachel, Myatt Family, Friesen Family or anyone in the New Church who reads this pray for myself and pray for Rachel. She has in me a true friend and a man that loves her more than life itself. She needs to know this is not about having a romantic relationship, this is not about us getting back together, this is about friendship. If the other things did return I wouldnt be opposed to that again as I love Rachel that much but one step at a time. She is afraid to be truly loved and even after all most destroying my love for her and for others here I sit 14 months later still loving her. In February this blog will be a year old. I have never given up on her. Soon in Dawson Creek, BC, Canada she will be bestowed with a blessing that lets her know that I love her with all my heart, unconditionally, unselfishly, and unwavering. I love you Rachel Myatt I have never doubted that why do you doubt me?
I will leave you with this from a lady named Betty Faye Douglass about friendship.
"Be the change you wish to see in the world”. Gandhi.
This Blog is inspired today by The Lord Jesus Christ, Emmanuel Swedenborg, Reverend Robert S. Junge, and Rachel Myatt
Why Does God Let Bad Things Happen?
The following is an excerpt from the sermon of the same name by Rev. Robert S. Junge."Permission of evil lets us see the consequences of our faults. It is an invitation to change our ways. Take for example the coach of a team. On Monday morning he shows the team a video of how they played. He certainly doesn’t will the mistakes that show up on the screen. He hopes that each player will learn from his mistakes and play that much better the next time. And the better they learn to play the more they will love the game and respect the coach and their team mates. In the game of life, we can learn to love and respect our Divine Coach and our neighbors on the team. When we do, we really enter into the joy of life." http://www.swedenborgstudy.com/sermons/baltimore/pc/bad.htm
How right and beautiful that statement is? I want to tell you how it applies to this blog and why this blog is still going strong. I believed in Rachel Myatt. I never gave up on her the whole time we were friends and we were a couple. There were times when she said things to me that made me want to give up on her but I knew I had to keep treating her with love and respect. I said somethings sometimes that she didn't like but I always listened to her and I tried to agree to disagree. She always tried to make me seem wrong and that nothing I did was right. One of my friends pointed out something today about Rachel abandoning me and saying the things she said about me and about my mother at the time. My friend Kati said this "Dogs and cats take 3 weeks maybe to grieve over but Parents you may never get over" I thought about it and how Rachel just assumed all these things about me when she had no idea of what I was going through. She never asked me how I felt she just assumed I was sad, miserable, and said I was damaged. Then she put up on her messenger that I was sick and said all these horrible things about me. How was that loving or charitable? It wasn't I could have done so many things to get revenge on her for being so cruel but instead God lead me to love her. It is not like I didn't have evil in my heart or that I didn't want her to suffer at one time. What she doesn't understand and many of the New Church Pastors and members don't understand I had every opportunity to "get her good" so to say. I had a list of her neighbors, family, all accessible knowledge on the internet. I could have sent out letters of hate, posted compromising pictures of her, slandered her in all sorts of ways and my friends were ready to help. Instead I started the "Letters To Rachel" blog and letter writing campaign to let her know that while I do love her unconditionally that she did hurt me and that doubting other peoples love of God and love of each other is not Christian. I have said some pretty harsh things on this blog but most of them were true about what happened between us. I was told by someone that they loved me and wanted to be with me and when I asked them if that was what they still wanted they said yes. I could have put up all our emails, our transcribed text messages, our messenger conversations and pictures but I realized that was not the way to go. I used two emails to prove a point of how hypocritical Rachel was to me. I put up pictures of only her and some of Jonathan not out of disrespect but because I love them so much. I did not put up the pictures of Rachel and I because she is ashamed of being with me. She showed me that when I was there. She looked around at her family and let other people influence her not to be with me when I was gone. I remember being at dinner with her family and instead of calling me her boyfriend she called me her friend. We had supposedly been a couple for like 5 months by then but she was ashamed of me. When I was helping her take care of the kids she kept when the parents showed up she didn't address me as her boyfriend she addressed me as her friend. I felt like I was nothing and nobody. Here I was willing to do anything for her, I came to Canada at one of the worst times in my life, I asked her if she still wanted me to come. I put her job and the children she kept, their livelihood before mine. I didnt want to interfere in her job and was even not going to come. I had to fight with the state department to get my passport and when I finally did get to go to the airport my whole day was delayed instead of 9 hours to get to Rachel it took 16 all this while grieving and recollecting about my mother and my family. If she truly loved me at all she would have tried to understand that I had a lot on my mind and that just being with her and Jonathan through that troubled time meant the world to me. I loved every moment we spent together and I would have liked to done more but I had told Rachel ahead of time to just take me and do things with me. She kept asking me what I wanted to do and I didn't really know because one I was in a foriegn place and two I didn't really know all I know is I was happy being with the woman I loved.
In the Bible it says this.
James 4:12
There is only one Lawgiver and Judge, the one who is able to save and destroy. But you—who are you to judge your neighbor?
Rachel first proceeded to break up with my by text message not having the courage to talk to me on the phone. I would have not been so broken and hurt if she had not did something so selfish but she did not want to face the reality of the situation. Then when I felt like dying and thought about acting on it she called the Police and Fire Department neither one of them could find me it was by an act of God that I made it home. I went to the Mausoleum to where my mom was buried to just talk to her and pray and that is what Rachel never knew. Though I wanted to give up on life that night I stayed alive because I loved Rachel. Rachel didn't care enough to be kind and actually talk to me it was all about her for the next couple of weeks about how sick I was, damaged, and mentally messed up I was. All to justify the evil that she was doing. That is why I came to the Church I wanted to know why that they would teach such a selfish doctrine. She was using her New Church theology to do evil to others. Now we are man and we are evil but it seems to me that Christians of any sort would never use God to justify evil even if God allows it. So that is why I called on Pastor Glenn about the whole situation and it is why that my letters about the New Church and to the New Church have come about. I have new ones printed to go out this week to different religons. I am still waiting to make peace with Rachel and maybe a good hearted New Church person will talk me out of doing this I dont know but it is in my heart to do it right now. Am I doing it out of revenge. No. See unlike Rachel putting down the way I was raised and my love of God I actually wanted to worship with her. I didn't fully understand but could appreciate Swedenborgs message and so effectively with her evil attitude she turned me away. It seemed hedonistic and Satanic to me and that is exactly what I asked Pastor Glenn about. It may seems like I am going in circles telling this story but I wanted to make a point today. This is happening to Rachel Myatt because of the evil she has done and her comment to me about there being no consequences for anything she does. How many of us really believe that if we do evil to others that we deserve not to have evil done to us? Not many most of us believe that while God does not wish for us to seek revenge and evil upon others that it could happen that it is returned to us in someway down the line. Retribution and Karma per se not necessarily revenge. Do I expect to be punished for writing this blog. I am punished everyday having to look at the woman I love and her beautiful son that I also love by writing this but I also am doing it out of love and to show Rachel that even though she treated me evil and we both hurt each other I believe that through God we can be reunited and in the past couple of weeks she has no idea of all the kind things I have initiated in her and Jonathan's name. I love you Rachel Myatt and I love Jonathan and so for 2012 I am not going to give up on you, rather I want all the darkness out of my heart so I can love you completely and kill you with kindness. That is what this blog was supposed to always be about but I let some of the evil slip into my heart and get the better of me. God has put me on a track to show Rachel that she does mean the world to me and to not give up on her or her family. Do you think I don't sit up at night and think about all the people that read this and think what they must think of Rachel? A lot of my friends hate her for what she did to me. It did change my life but instead of seek revenge I want reconcilation. I want to talk to her again. I want us to rekindle at least our friendship and who knows what will come of that. I put my faith in God and Rachel has to want that but I never give up on her because Lord Jesus Christ has instilled it in my heart to never let what happened sour my love for Rachel. So Rachel and Church of the New Jerusalem the ball is now in your court. Do I spend my time learning and loving with you? Or do I tell the reasons why one should not join you and worship and how I was turned away. I am praying that God show me the answer and pray that God will bring peace between Rachel and I. I will say a quick prayer so that all will know where my heart is.
My Lord Jesus Christ,
Please hear my prayer this day for peace with Rachel and Peace with the New Church. I want to have harmony with them both. I do love Rachel very much and I know you are looking into her heart and giving her the insight on this situation as you are doing with mine. I ask that one of my brothers or sisters who wants to talk to me about this peace and love in the New Church not only pray for me but come to me through email or whatever means and help me to be guided to this peace with Rachel. I know through only you Oh Lord can this be accomplished and it is your will. I do not want to have this hurt and animosity between Rachel and I anymore she is my best friend and I love her with all my heart. Please let her know of what I have done to show her and Jonathan how much I love them. I ask for this because I know you hear me Lord and you will answer if I believe. I have been patient and long suffering and have never gave up on Rachel. Please forgive me for any transgressions I have made against her as she is my dearest sister in your name Lord Jesus Christ. I ask all of this through you.
Amen.
I put my prayers up because my love of God is serious and my love of Rachel is serious and I will do anything to let her know how much she and Jonathan mean to me. I am not praying out in the open to be hypocritical but praying so that people know I am not ashamed of my faith, my love for God, or being a Christian. It comes before everything else in my life.
I want people of all faiths to know this. I love Rachel Myatt. Rachel, Myatt Family, Friesen Family or anyone in the New Church who reads this pray for myself and pray for Rachel. She has in me a true friend and a man that loves her more than life itself. She needs to know this is not about having a romantic relationship, this is not about us getting back together, this is about friendship. If the other things did return I wouldnt be opposed to that again as I love Rachel that much but one step at a time. She is afraid to be truly loved and even after all most destroying my love for her and for others here I sit 14 months later still loving her. In February this blog will be a year old. I have never given up on her. Soon in Dawson Creek, BC, Canada she will be bestowed with a blessing that lets her know that I love her with all my heart, unconditionally, unselfishly, and unwavering. I love you Rachel Myatt I have never doubted that why do you doubt me?
I will leave you with this from a lady named Betty Faye Douglass about friendship.
"The Importance Of True Friendship"
A definition of a Friend: One who is known, liked,trusted,an ally and a supporter.
A friend is someone that will stick with you until the end. True friends are hard to find , when you find your diamond, keep it polished and brigthly shining. a friend is someone you can talk to about anything and you can relate to about evrything. A friend is someone that will tell you the truth even if it hurts. It's so very impotant to have a friend that you can depend on, when it seems there no one that cares, they are there for you through thick and thin.
I think finding a genuine friendship is a deliberate blessing and a gift from God. Friendship is an act of kindness and a understanding heart. It very important to have a true friendship with a special friend , someone that we know will be there to the end. A true friendship with someone, you can trust with your inne rmost secrets and thoughts, and knowing that they wil remain only in their thoughts.
When you have a true friendship with a friend, they can tell when you're hurting and in need of an encouraging word. Your friendship, will cause your friend to build up your confidence; when they know you are down. It's very impotant to have a true friendship , but we must remember ; that friendship work both ways. we have to give back to our friends whatever they 're are giving to us,and sometimes even more. Our friendships are like a boomerang, if you throw it; it will always return unto us. I think a great friendship is a blessing from God, so if you're among the chosen few that have been blessed with great friends in your life; make sure you love and cherish them like precious gold or a priceless treasure to behold.
Benny Faye Douglass
God Bless All
A friend is someone that will stick with you until the end. True friends are hard to find , when you find your diamond, keep it polished and brigthly shining. a friend is someone you can talk to about anything and you can relate to about evrything. A friend is someone that will tell you the truth even if it hurts. It's so very impotant to have a friend that you can depend on, when it seems there no one that cares, they are there for you through thick and thin.
I think finding a genuine friendship is a deliberate blessing and a gift from God. Friendship is an act of kindness and a understanding heart. It very important to have a true friendship with a special friend , someone that we know will be there to the end. A true friendship with someone, you can trust with your inne rmost secrets and thoughts, and knowing that they wil remain only in their thoughts.
When you have a true friendship with a friend, they can tell when you're hurting and in need of an encouraging word. Your friendship, will cause your friend to build up your confidence; when they know you are down. It's very impotant to have a true friendship , but we must remember ; that friendship work both ways. we have to give back to our friends whatever they 're are giving to us,and sometimes even more. Our friendships are like a boomerang, if you throw it; it will always return unto us. I think a great friendship is a blessing from God, so if you're among the chosen few that have been blessed with great friends in your life; make sure you love and cherish them like precious gold or a priceless treasure to behold.
Benny Faye Douglass
God Bless All
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