Dear Readers,
Last night I was thinking about Rachel and all the people who have and are reading this blog. This has been one of the most eventful months for it so I wanted to let people know how much I truly love Rachel in the next couple of days before I launch my campaign. She means the world to me and so does her son and whether I ever see them again I want her to know that for a time I truly felt someone loved me. I uploaded this song by Sun-60 called "Out of My Head" from their 1992 album simply titled Sun-60. I can't believe this song is 20 yrs old this year I was a 16yr old the first time I heard it and this is representative of the kind of music that moves and inspires me the most. I dedicated this to Rachel today on this blog and on youtube because I truly do love her. This blog has never been about getting revenge or retaliation. It is because I love her and I want her to come back into my life and to realize that yes people do hurt other people but by me she is truly loved and I can let all that go because I have a love deeper that the one of just being human. We all have the capacity to love like Christ because He instilled that in all of us. If you have read my blog and seen how much I truly want to forgive and forget with Rachel then I urge you to go pick up this book . Unconditional: The Call of Jesus to Radical Forgiveness by Pastor Brian Zahnd Here is a link http://www.amazon.com/Unconditional-call-Jesus-radical-forgiveness/dp/161638025X/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1327591498&sr=1-3 Now this is not where I got my world view of forgiveness but it was refreshing that other people in the world believe in the true beauty and love of Christ that is tainted by all of us as Christians. What I am doing though is Radical and people believe in me. I have never given up on Rachel and it is up to her to see the true love I have for her. I have reached the New Church, I have reached Catholics, Protestants, Muslims, and many other people of faith with my blog. Most of the feedback has been positive and people see the love I have for Rachel and the New Church people who were inconsiderate and uncompassionate. If Rachel didnt appreciate all the love I have for her then she never will. It is sad but its her loss. I wont stop loving her but I have never stopped living life either I will probably never trust another woman and Rachel was my true love. I will never give up on her waking up one day and realizing that someone went through so much trouble to show her that they loved her and something I do will make her realize that we need peace between us. Only God knows the time and answer so I will be dilligent. I spent at least an hour everyday writing this blog or thinking about what I will write for the day. I have over a half of years worth of blogs and for the month of January alone there is enough for one for each day. Rachel you are truly loved and I am reaching out today for your to let it all go. I won't and cant stop loving you and Jonathan and if you think im crazy, damaged, messed up, mentally ill that is ok because that shows immaturity, insecurity, and being uninformed. I am quite competent in all that I do. I am happy enough that I still believe in you and even though things are tough in my life I just go on. I want to share something with you people really quick.
My mother passed away in August of 2011. My father was recently diagnosed with a rare blood disease that there is really no cure for and the only way they can control it is with a form of Chemotherapy. My father was given a 60/40 chance to live. Do I give up on him because of what a doctor says. No! I fought with my mother right down till her last breath and it was time for God to take her I let her go. I was at peace with that. The saddest thing about losing my mom she didnt want me to stay and watch her die she gave me permission to leave and go see Rachel and Jonathan. I didnt though I waited till she passed. Rachel truly didnt know how happy my mother was to see us love each other and each day I live with the hurt that Rachel didnt appreciate and used that love. My point being is that sometimes there are people who have been through so much we know nothing but how to fight and not give up. Some people think it is extreme and it is a bad quality but its not because when the chips are down we are one of the people that sees the good in even a bad situation. All I can say my dear Rachel and Readers is that I love Rachel Myatt and Christ continually compels me to do that each day. I love you and Jonathan with all my heart Rachel if you are reading.
2 Corinthians 5:14
For Christ’s love compels us, because we are convinced that one died for all, and therefore all died.
You are all my brothers and sisters in the Lord no matter what your belief system is. Even if it is non Christian I still love you and respect you for all that you are. I wish that my Christian sister would realize her Christian brother is broken and hurting and after all we shared together that our friendship and love is worth putting back together.
God Bless All
I love you Rachel Myatt
Im not sorry that I love you and believe in you and Jonathan.
I dont regret not giving up on you or anything I have said in order to show you that.
I know that we as human beings make mistakes but the biggest thing we do is doubt our ability to love.
I know one thing and I never doubted that Rachel Myatt and that was and is that I truly love you. I am sorry you are scared to love me after all the beauty and good we shared.
Ultimately you will be the one who will have to look back at all the damage and hurt. I am free I have nothing but love for you. It doesn't haunt me it just makes me do more. February will be a month that you will never forget. God bless
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