http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3lBF2h-Pl0&feature=related
Dear Rachel and Readers. The above is a song called Haunted by Poe this is a song about facing yourself, inner demons, and people that you have loved and lost. I want you all to listen to this I thought that this should stand alone from the other part of the blog so please take the time to read The Scope of Doubting Others : Part 1 so that you will understand where I am going with this. I am free Rachel being cruel to me does nothing but fuel my determination to do the things that I love doing. Even being sick hasn't stopped me from going out and being creative. In fact it has inspired me. I have entered into a friendship with someone who is hearing impaired and she doubts her abilities and how wonderful she is. Rachel did the same way with me and in the end she pushed me away. If you truly put your trust in the Lord you may have room for doubt but in the end you always come back to the realization that with Him nothing is impossible and all things happen in His time. If I truly didn't believe that then this blog would have fizzled a long time ago. I wouldnt care about Rachel and Jonathan and I wouldn't still be fighting to show her how faithful, loyal, and how much love I have for my loved ones. So Rachel if you are reading this you are family to me. Sometimes family fights they dont get along and they dont talk for awhile but when the chips are down most families will be there for each other. You are part of my close circle of friends that I consider my blood. They are few but special and come from many different religions, ethnicities, and thought processes but the fact is if one of them needed me to give my life for them I would and you are one of those people. If anyone in the New Church wants to know about sacrifice then I will tell you my story. I wont brag or boast I will just tell you about how I never put my faith in men or worry what will be given to me. I suffer somedays and never do anything but pray but I know my faith is a greater thing than being selfish and hurting others. If I were homeless and had nothing I would still be blessed to live and to take what little I had and God would make me new again return it tenfold because I believe. I hope you take the time to listen to the song I have posted and that you understand why I put it up. Rachel will have to look back at all that she has done and me putting it out in the public is my way of telling her that I am not afraid, ashamed, and will not hold back what is beautiful and means something to me in my life and if I have to do this for another year for her to realize how much she means to me I will. I would rather we make peace, talk about it, and move on but I have to do what is in my heart and that is to tell this story and keep believing in the good in her heart. Rachel ultimately will have to look in the mirror and make a choice but for me I have made my choice I will continue on with love and seeking reconcilation, forgiveness, and true friendship with her.
Here are the lyrics to the above song. I posted the link again in case you didnt watch it firsthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3lBF2h-Pl0&feature=related
Haunted
Come here
Pretty please
Can you tell me where I am
You won't you say something
I need to get my bearings
I'm lost
And the shadows keep on changing
And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head
Don't cry,
There's always a way
Here in November in this house of leaves
We'll pray
Please, I know it's hard to believe
To see a perfect forest
Through so many splintered trees
You and me
And these shadows keep on changing
And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the promises I've made
And others I have broken
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head
Hallways... always
I'll always love you
I'll always need you
I'll always want you
And I will always miss you
Come here
No I won't say please
One more look at the ghost
Before I'm gonna make it leave
Come here
I've got the pieces here
Time to gather up the splinters
Build a casket for my tears
I'm haunted
(By the lives that I have loved)
I'm haunted
(By the promises I've made)
I'm haunted
By the hallways in this tiny room
The echos there of me and you
The voices that are carrying this tune
Father :
What is it Annie?
Daughter :
You think I'll cry? I won't cry!
My heart will break before I cry!
I will go mad.
Dear Rachel and Readers. The above is a song called Haunted by Poe this is a song about facing yourself, inner demons, and people that you have loved and lost. I want you all to listen to this I thought that this should stand alone from the other part of the blog so please take the time to read The Scope of Doubting Others : Part 1 so that you will understand where I am going with this. I am free Rachel being cruel to me does nothing but fuel my determination to do the things that I love doing. Even being sick hasn't stopped me from going out and being creative. In fact it has inspired me. I have entered into a friendship with someone who is hearing impaired and she doubts her abilities and how wonderful she is. Rachel did the same way with me and in the end she pushed me away. If you truly put your trust in the Lord you may have room for doubt but in the end you always come back to the realization that with Him nothing is impossible and all things happen in His time. If I truly didn't believe that then this blog would have fizzled a long time ago. I wouldnt care about Rachel and Jonathan and I wouldn't still be fighting to show her how faithful, loyal, and how much love I have for my loved ones. So Rachel if you are reading this you are family to me. Sometimes family fights they dont get along and they dont talk for awhile but when the chips are down most families will be there for each other. You are part of my close circle of friends that I consider my blood. They are few but special and come from many different religions, ethnicities, and thought processes but the fact is if one of them needed me to give my life for them I would and you are one of those people. If anyone in the New Church wants to know about sacrifice then I will tell you my story. I wont brag or boast I will just tell you about how I never put my faith in men or worry what will be given to me. I suffer somedays and never do anything but pray but I know my faith is a greater thing than being selfish and hurting others. If I were homeless and had nothing I would still be blessed to live and to take what little I had and God would make me new again return it tenfold because I believe. I hope you take the time to listen to the song I have posted and that you understand why I put it up. Rachel will have to look back at all that she has done and me putting it out in the public is my way of telling her that I am not afraid, ashamed, and will not hold back what is beautiful and means something to me in my life and if I have to do this for another year for her to realize how much she means to me I will. I would rather we make peace, talk about it, and move on but I have to do what is in my heart and that is to tell this story and keep believing in the good in her heart. Rachel ultimately will have to look in the mirror and make a choice but for me I have made my choice I will continue on with love and seeking reconcilation, forgiveness, and true friendship with her.
Here are the lyrics to the above song. I posted the link again in case you didnt watch it firsthttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o3lBF2h-Pl0&feature=related
Haunted
Come here
Pretty please
Can you tell me where I am
You won't you say something
I need to get my bearings
I'm lost
And the shadows keep on changing
And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head
Don't cry,
There's always a way
Here in November in this house of leaves
We'll pray
Please, I know it's hard to believe
To see a perfect forest
Through so many splintered trees
You and me
And these shadows keep on changing
And I'm haunted
By the lives that I have loved
And actions I have hated
I'm haunted
By the promises I've made
And others I have broken
I'm haunted
By the lives that wove the web
Inside my haunted head
Hallways... always
I'll always love you
I'll always need you
I'll always want you
And I will always miss you
Come here
No I won't say please
One more look at the ghost
Before I'm gonna make it leave
Come here
I've got the pieces here
Time to gather up the splinters
Build a casket for my tears
I'm haunted
(By the lives that I have loved)
I'm haunted
(By the promises I've made)
I'm haunted
By the hallways in this tiny room
The echos there of me and you
The voices that are carrying this tune
Father :
What is it Annie?
Daughter :
You think I'll cry? I won't cry!
My heart will break before I cry!
I will go mad.
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