Rachel and Jonathan

Rachel and Jonathan
I Love you and Always Will

Monday, January 16, 2012

My Last Plea for Peace with Rachel(To The Church of The New Jerusalem)

Dear Readers,

I have tried for months to find peace and closure with Rachel Myatt. I am a doer and not just someone who sits back and says they are going to do things I actually do them so I want you to read this with me explaining my true intentions and wishes.


We all have to find happiness in our lives and for a year of my life almost Rachel Myatt was my dearest and closest friend.  I loved her and her son to no end and in one shallow moment without talking to me or every really knowing what I felt our going through she abandoned me.  She also said a lot of things that were untrue and unkind and that has been the reason why I have been so dilligent in my blog and my actions toward her and the New Church.  When you use religious doctrine to hurt other people or put them down as she did to me so many times in our relationship it sets off a red flag.  The first time Rachel told me I was stupid for believing in Adam and Eve I hung up the phone and I was about to break off our relationship then and there but you know what? I picked up the phone and tried to talk to her and I thought that we would be ok.  I had always told her that I was willing to love God in the way she loved God but she would have to give me time. I actually started reading the Writings and I wanted to share the New Church experience with her.  She was not patient with me and when she abandoned me she was very hostile and mean spirited. When I said that I would take this to the Church she said I was stupid and didnt believe me but as most of you know I have not only done that but surpassed it.  I do not want to wage a personal war against the whole Church and that is not what this altercation is about. This is about religious bigotry that has been taught and instilled in someone. This is about selfish pride, evil, and inconsideration for others feelings.  Many of you have read my blog and you have seen where I have called Rachel out through her emails saying she would be there for me. I have hesitated to release all of them but I am seriously contemplating it.  I want the people at the Dawson Creek New Church to know that if that is the kind of values that they teach and instill in people then you are not very kind, loving, or charitable.   I will not be a hypocrite and I will not lie about things that I am not true to.  Rachel said she loved me, wanted to be with me, and cared about me and then crashed my hopes later. If she really loved me she would have talked to me. She would have never judged my mental state and been supportive of me during my difficult time.  All I ever wanted was her love and Jonathans love and to give my life to God and to them.


Rachel's Pastor said Rachel said she was sorry for all the pain she had cause but she is not woman enough to pick up the phone or email me and tell me herself.  It means nothing to me conveying the message to someone else it will mean something if you tell me yourself Rachel Myatt.  So if you want me to let you go and you want me to be free you are going to have to be a woman and give me that closure yourself. Otherwise you have hurt me for the rest of my life and I wont move on, I want care about anyone else, and I wont love anyone the way I could have loved you if you hadn't of been so selfish. Rachel you are killing my love for people because you were so evil to me when I needed and loved you.


I need the Church of the New Jerusalem to know one thing. I do love you all as my brothers and sisters in Christ and if any of you care about Rachel and I then please read and think about what I have to say in the closing of this blog.

1. I have only strived to make peace with Rachel. I believe in my heart that she is still worth loving and that God would not have let me go this far and to suffer if He knew I couldn't handle this burden. My heart is broken and shattered but every night I pray for Rachel and Jonathan and tell Him how much I love them.  I dont pray for her return in my life but that she just knows that I love her and I wont give up on her.


2. I do want a happy end to this without anyone suffering any pain and so listen closely to what I am about to write.  If anyone wants to talk to Rachel about what I have said and about true forgiveness and peace in the New Church fold. If anyone has been touched by my willingness to never give up and to not want to get revenge on her then my prayer is that it happens now. If anyone wants to make an effort to initiate peace between us and Rachel is willing to let go of whatever is holding her back from loving me then I will fly anywhere in the Continental U.S or Canada to do that. I have already told her Pastor that I would fly out there go to Church service just for a couple hours to sit in a room with her and make peace no matter the financial burden. That is how much I love Rachel.  I am willing to put everything on the line because having this hole in my heart and wanting to fight the evil, the feelings of anger, and darkness are what I continue to have to do.  I don't want retribution I want reconcilation. My best friend back and love.  If anyone believes in that and believes that Rachel can turn the tide on this then pray and if you know her talk to her about that. Ultimately the choice is hers. I cant make her love me, I cant make her see how much I love her. All I can do is pray, put my faith in God, and keep believing in what I am doing.

3. Finally as for my campaign. If Rachel is unresponsive then my last resort is to finally release the video of my story on youtube and other outlets.  I have video of me telling the whole story in words and pictures and some of it is very intimate and graphic. It is not a threat to Rachel it is just me telling her that if she cant pick up the phone and be a woman and make peace with someone who is truly trying to make things right by her then the only way I will have any closure is to just tell my story because I never want her to treat another man like she treated me. Most of you dont know how much I loved this woman and how much I went through to be with her. If someone believed in you as much as I believed in Rachel don't you think they are worth giving a second chance.  Saying things about my mother after she died was almost an unforgiveable offense and saying that I lied to her about things and tried to be manipulative was even more dishearting. I was grieving and her lying and pretending to want to be with me caused me so much pain I wanted to die. It was never a trick and I never tried to hold anything over her head I truly thought I was just going to lay down and die. I never cried so much and I had never felt so empty but here I am 14 months and still loving and believing in this person .  The thing that upsets me the most is I hear these New Church people say let it go.  You can't let God's work go and this is a revelation He has revealed to me. It is my battle and it is my burden to bear. You do not know what I am destined to do but I do just as cannot say what you are destined to do.  I am sorry that I have to say this but people do have callings and I called out Rachel's Pastor on this point when he was trying to skirt around it.  I told him just like God called him to be a Pastor it was something that God revealed to him. I cannot say I know what his path was so who was he to judge mine.  It seems like everyone wanted to take the side of evil and condone what Rachel did.  Why because I wasn't part of the New Church? I could trash the whole church and be impolite but as a Christian I cant do that because I believe in all of you and your love for God.  I will however tell my story and not let Rachel hurt other people physically, mentally, spiritually, or emotionally so if anyone would like me not to tell my story and to save Rachel, the Dawson Creek New Church, and its Pastor any grief then step up and tell them how important it is that they really reach out to me. I have done all I can do and I am open for suggestions but I will not falter and I know that I am doing what is right. So if you read this today and you believe and see the love in my heart then leave a message. Most of all if you are Rachel leave a message.  You are loved beyond compare. I believe in you and I only want peace with you but this is my last time before I get more serious in my efforts.

God Bless All.

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