Dear Readers,
You can choose to take a listen to the above interview in its entirety but I want you to listen to the statement from 2:20 to 2:35 and that is part of the basis for my blog today.
I don't want anyone to ever come to this blog thinking I hate Rachel Myatt and I am out to get her. I want all who come here to feel a soul that has been deeply hurt but who believes in truly loving someone. I put my faith in a God that some don't believe in but I respect those who don't believe as I do. I have friends of many different faiths and I have never turned anyone away from friendship or a relationship because of religion, ethnicity, or anyone's worldview or beliefs. I have dated atheist, the only other girl I truly loved besides Rachel was Jewish with an emphasis on Jewish Mysticism. I dated two Catholics and many other religions. Never have I been discriminated against like I was by Rachel Myatt and the Church of the New Jerusalem. I want to talk for a moment about bigotry using an essay I used back in November and I want to use it to maybe shed light on Rachel's reasons and Pastor Coleman Glenn's reasoning for not being able to accept me as I am or see that I am just as relevant as they are or anyone could be. They claim in the Church of the New Jerusalem to accept others and that there is Salvation for all who seek it even those of Non Judeo-Christian beliefs but I wasn't shown this kindness or welcome.
I turn once again to this essay by Swain and Eric Wodening called "The Nature of Religious Bigotry" It can be found here in its entirety. http://wodening.englatheod.org/swain/bigotry.html
I want to point out a couple of things that Rachel's behavior toward me dictated. I loved her without judgment and she seemed to judge everything I did. I wanted to learn about her faith and came at it with an open mind but all she did was ridicule and put down mine. Now I feel that the Church of the New Jerusalem instills that in its members as they seems that instead of intelligent conversation or agreement to disagree they always want to spit rhetoric at you that makes them right and they want to win the battle. When you present cold hard facts and actual word from the Bible they want to twist it to their own worldview. You cannot be accepting if you dont listen to other people. Tolerance is having the courage to understand that everyone is not going to think the same way that you do but being able to accept that person for who they are. In my case. I am not a fan of homosexuality but I am not homophobic. I don't hate gays I have actually had many gay friend and I would go to their functions and accept their lifestyle but it doesn't mean I agree with them. It is not my life nor my place to judge them. So I want to quickly use a point from the aforementioned essay to describe Rachel's behavior toward me.
"According to the theory of the authoritarian personality, then, not only is bigotry wrong because it hurts others, but because from a psychological standpoint it is damaging to the one who practices it. After all, self hatred lies at the root of many mental illnesses and unless one deals with one's own self hatred, they cannot prevent the development of any mental illnesses they may have in times to come. Obviously, as long as the bigot insists upon transferring their own self loathing to another ethnic, religious, or cultural group, they are not dealing with that self hatred. In addition, such self hatred directed outward can result in the low self esteem of the persecuted, causing such line of thought to escalate, when the persecuted tries to defend against the persecution. In most parts of the world, through-out history, bloodshed soon follows." Swain and Eric Wodening
I want you to think about this. Rachel while I was grieving said I was mentally ill because she abandoned me, put me down, and caused me grief because she couldn't deal with the mess she caused and all the lies she told. She belittled me, tore down my faith, my love for her, and all these things and not once did I focus on any of that till months later when I wrote this blog which was a direct response to her inability to deal with her reality. She can't cope with the situations she is in so she puts down others, she tries to make herself look more intelligent, put herself on a higher plain, and really she is just trying to make up for her low self esteem and her inadequacies in life. At the time I was so crushed I did want to die but I had every reason to feel like that. What if Rachel's mother Jane right now after losing her father, Rachel's grandfather has a breakdown? Well I had a breakdown after my mother died but it wasn't because of my mother it was because of how Rachel treated me. The person who said she was there for me and loved me suddenly treated me like an enemy and a leper, lied to me, called me a liar, called me sick, and just damaged my soul and love. What if something like that happened to someone in her own family would she treat them with such abandon and disrespect? I dont think she would. So why me the guy who would travel 2000 miles to be with her, showed her a true courtship and unconditional love, and still loves her and her son Jonathan, and put his faith in God on the matter even to this day? It was because she doesn't love herself and she fears people who are different than her and who actually care about her. I noticed that she is emeshed in her family and the kids that she takes care of but that her relationships with anyone outside that spectrum were dysfunctional. I love Rachel with all my heart but I am trying to make a point here about bigotry. People think I come on her to put Rachel down because our relationship failed. It was never about the relationship. Rachel is one of my best friend and I still believe in her and God wont let me stop believing in her.
I also want to quickly use the Wodening Essay to point out this about intolerance and bigotry.
I want you to think about this. Rachel while I was grieving said I was mentally ill because she abandoned me, put me down, and caused me grief because she couldn't deal with the mess she caused and all the lies she told. She belittled me, tore down my faith, my love for her, and all these things and not once did I focus on any of that till months later when I wrote this blog which was a direct response to her inability to deal with her reality. She can't cope with the situations she is in so she puts down others, she tries to make herself look more intelligent, put herself on a higher plain, and really she is just trying to make up for her low self esteem and her inadequacies in life. At the time I was so crushed I did want to die but I had every reason to feel like that. What if Rachel's mother Jane right now after losing her father, Rachel's grandfather has a breakdown? Well I had a breakdown after my mother died but it wasn't because of my mother it was because of how Rachel treated me. The person who said she was there for me and loved me suddenly treated me like an enemy and a leper, lied to me, called me a liar, called me sick, and just damaged my soul and love. What if something like that happened to someone in her own family would she treat them with such abandon and disrespect? I dont think she would. So why me the guy who would travel 2000 miles to be with her, showed her a true courtship and unconditional love, and still loves her and her son Jonathan, and put his faith in God on the matter even to this day? It was because she doesn't love herself and she fears people who are different than her and who actually care about her. I noticed that she is emeshed in her family and the kids that she takes care of but that her relationships with anyone outside that spectrum were dysfunctional. I love Rachel with all my heart but I am trying to make a point here about bigotry. People think I come on her to put Rachel down because our relationship failed. It was never about the relationship. Rachel is one of my best friend and I still believe in her and God wont let me stop believing in her.
I also want to quickly use the Wodening Essay to point out this about intolerance and bigotry.
"There are more subtle forms of persecution resulting from religious bigotry. These may involve character assassinations and harassment of members of minority religions. Often members of minority or alternative religions find themselves in the position of the outsider and are refused jobs and even mocked. Sometimes religious bigotry will be cloaked with false accusations that members of minority religions are lazy or insane or a criminal element. The most common form of persecution is to accuse the minority religion of being a cult or Satanic in nature. Another means of persecution is to accuse the persecuted of being the persecutor, such as was the case in pre-WWII Germany when the Nazis accused the Jews of hoarding the nation's wealth. Such means of persecution is nothing new. Early Christians were accused of sacrificing babies, cannibalism, and one piece of ancient Roman graffiti shows Christ with a donkey head. No one would accuse Christianity of such things now. There was a time when out of religious bigotry such accusations were made. "
"After all, bigotry of any kind seems to stem from the same source. Sociologists early in the 20th century developed the theory of the authoritarian personality. An authoritarian personality has strong feelings of inadequacy, dependency, and hostility, particularly toward those in authority or those they view in authority, even though they may be an authority on their own. Because of this, the authoritarian personality tends to displace their own sense of low self esteem and their own feelings of self hatred to another group. The individual who expresses hatred for another ethnic, religious, or cultural group, or attempts to stereotype them in some way, or even goes so far as spread lies about this group is then simply expressing feelings about themselves. "
"After all, bigotry of any kind seems to stem from the same source. Sociologists early in the 20th century developed the theory of the authoritarian personality. An authoritarian personality has strong feelings of inadequacy, dependency, and hostility, particularly toward those in authority or those they view in authority, even though they may be an authority on their own. Because of this, the authoritarian personality tends to displace their own sense of low self esteem and their own feelings of self hatred to another group. The individual who expresses hatred for another ethnic, religious, or cultural group, or attempts to stereotype them in some way, or even goes so far as spread lies about this group is then simply expressing feelings about themselves. "
I have nothing against the teachings of the New Church what I have is a problem with the way they use the teachings to interact with others under a hypocritical pretense. Don't put up on your site that you accept people of other religions and that their is salvation for all then turn around and be intolerant and a bigot toward a Catholic or Protestant because they dont agree with you. Rachel slandered my character to her family and that is what hurt the most I wanted to love and care about her family as my own and she put me in a situation that was even more damaging when she allowed me to meet them and then turned her back on me. I tried to point out the beauty of Christians working together to achieve a common goal to Pastor Glenn when months ago prominent Evangelical Joel Osteen and Dr Oz. of TV fame a member of the Church of the New Jerusalem got together to do just such. http://www.click2houston.com/news/Joel-Osteen-to-be-on-Dr-Oz/-/1735978/4770502/-/7gn6ciz/-/index.html Pastor Glenn never replied back on the matter because he wanted his selfish New Church worldview to be intact and couldnt fathom that people like me want everyone to find God and to find common ground in Christ love and in the Bible. I have never given up on my love for Rachel and wanting peace and reconcilation with her. There is a part of my soul that is sick waiting for my friend to come back and though it hurts I put my faith in God that through this blog, through praying everyday and believing that she will eventually see that I love her to no end and all the hurt and animosity that stemmed from this will be water under the bridge. With God's love anything is possible and I wont believe otherwise. My faith is in God not in what Rachel says to me, Pastor Glenn, Pastor Cooper or anyone earthly its all about God with me. I love all even those who persecute me and I wont hesitate to help or love someone no matter what their difference be from me. That is the difference between me and Rachel and her family. They never saw me for the big picture and how I had and have nothing but love for them even if they turn a blind eye. It will be two years come September and I have never given up on Rachel. God has this love in my spiritual journey and it is not something selfish I wanted for myself. I could have turned to revenge and wanting to destroy Rachel and her reputation but anyone who takes a close look at this blog and all I have written know I truly love her and Jonathan.
I am going to end this blog with a simple prayer
Dear Heavenly Father,
Please guide and use me as an instrument of Your Love and Your Word. Help me to continue loving Rachel, Her Family, and Her Church and guide us in making peace with each other. I ask that you bless each and everyone in Rachel's family especially Rachel and Jonathan and that you send blessings around the world to the New Church and its ministries. I ask all this as your humble servant and your friend Lord.
Amen
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