What If Something You Said Changed Someones Life Negatively? Loving Others Who Need Encouragement

These are scenes from my favorite movie of all time
Me and You and Everyone We Know
They will give you a window into how much I love Rachel
It will also give you an insight on how much I love People
For you Church of New Jerusalem people
Who judge me for what most people want to be loved
Have a family and to live a normal life
This is for you. You dont understand the pain
Or the trauma Rachel's actions put me though
I deserve to be loved just like everyone else
And for some reason you think that its just magically supposed
To go away.




At 2:10 in this video is why I started this blog
I deserve to be loved and Rachel took advantage of that
My love never deserved to be played with


Prayers and caring for even the most simplest things are beautiful in God's Eyes
For anyone that mocked my prayers or didn't take the ones serious on this blog
They were real and they were meant to have a purpose


"I don't believe that people should take their own lives without deep and thoughtful reflection over a considerable period of time. I do believe strongly, however, that the right to do so is one of the most fundamental rights that anyone in a free society should have. For me, much of the world makes no sense, but my feelings about what I am doing ring loud and clear to an inner ear and a place where there is no self, only calm."   The Suicide Note left by singer Wendy O. Williams in 1998

Dear Rachel and Readers,
Today I want to discuss being responsible for ones' own actions.  I am going to use Rachel and I as an example as this blog has been a reaction to Rachel's actions toward me.  In it I will touch on honesty, loyalty, truth, and common human decency.  I will explain a couple of really personal things between Rachel and I so that you will understand where I am coming from.


I. Suicide
I have always been an active supporter and contributer to suicide prevention and last summer I had to call the Dallas Crisis Center to help talk my friend off the ledge.  She much like I was, was distraught over a failed relationship.  She had many things that I did not have that I used as leverage to talk her into not giving up.   She had a 7yr old daughter who was at the house when she decided to do it.  She text me all of the sudden and I was in the position to go see her and I asked could I come talk to her. She told me no but that she needed me to keep talking to her.  She told me how she felt that no one cared.  She felt she kept getting used by men for sex and that she only wanted a real relationship.  I told her about how Rachel had abandoned me and how she had basically played games with my love.  I told her that I didnt have as much as she had to live for.  I told her she had to go on for her children. (Her older son eventually showed up and helped out) I told her one reason why I felt like I should just give up is that I had no children and really nobody would miss me. My mom was gone and I didnt really have anyone. Rachel was the one I wanted to have a family and it was having her and Jonathan in my life to love that kept me from falling apart when she passed away.  Rachel didnt know how much that she meant to me.  She stopped texting and we talked on the phone for a bit.  I found the number for 1-800-Suicide through one of the Plea for Peace/Take Action cds I had lying around. http://www.hopeline.com/ and http://takeactiontour.com/ are both organazations I have learned from about suicide prevention and how to treat people who are suffering from depression and mental illnesses.  One thing I do know from my experience is that we should never jugde but instead try to help and encourage those who are in this situation.  Rachel ridiculed me, made fun of me, said I was damaged, unhappy, and needed help which futher helped me spiral into what could have been the end for me.  I will discuss that in the next portion of this but for now I want to say that my friend lived and it was because I took the time to understand the nature of the dilemma instead of pass judgement, make fun of, and belittle her like Rachel Myatt did to me.  Its not just the Christian thing to do to care for others it is the human thing to do.  I was grieving my mother and I was treated disrespectfully and inhumanly by Rachel and members of her Church and that is one reason this blog and my campaign came to be. 

1 Timothy 1:14-16
¹⁴ The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.  ¹⁵ Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. ¹⁶ But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.




II.  Being Judgmental
I went into a friendship and relationship with Rachel Myatt with skeptism and caution.  At first because of previous experiences I would have not given her the time of day. She had a child, she lived in another country, she was part of a religion that I had to do some studying about even though I had knowledge of Swedenborg already.  If I spent all that time making up reasons why I shouldnt love Rachel then I would have missed out on the beautiful person she was.  In turn I only wanted the same.  Many times when Rachel and I would talk she would belittle me and put down my love of God. It seemed that she always wanted to be right on everything instead of compromise or see middle ground.  When we tried to agree to disagree I felt she still felt she had won whatever it is that we had an arguement about.  I only wanted to love her and Jonathan and that was all that was in my heart. Being in a relationship is give and take and I don't think Rachel fully understands what it is to be with someone who actually loves her and wanted her.  I wanted her for all that she is and I still care about her that much.  I don't know if she understood after all I had been through that she was the one.  She moved mountains for me and heaven and earth and I came to her for that reason. I want to share a few points about why Rachel hurt me in such away I felt like dying.

1. Morality.   I was brought up in a Christian household where it was instilled in me the value of a mongamous relationship.  I was taught about chastity, marriage, and unconditional love between two people.  I will explain the reasons for me being heartbroken by Rachel's actions.

A. Rachel and I slept together and she tryed to deny it.  I had asked her if she didnt think she wanted to be with me for us not to engage in any intimate activity.  I spent the whole time I was there in her bed.  I am sorry I have to disclose this on a blog but I think it is very important because if she truly is A good Christian woman she will realize how much this meant to me. I had practiced celibacy for almost 5 years before I met Rachel.  My previous girlfriend had died from a brain tumor and I wanted to be in love and be with someone one who wanted me for me before I engaged in any activities.  Furthermore I was placed in a situation when Rachel and I first became boyfriend and girlfriend where I could have cheated on her instead I told this person I was in love with Rachel and that I could not hurt her like that even though she might never know.  God would know and I couldnt disappoint Him. I am still very much in love with Rachel so I want you all to know I did not disclose this information to hurt Rachel but because she hurt me and I want both her, the Church of the New Jerusalem and any Pastors or Family members to know the nature of the situation and why I would write about this.

B. Human Decency.  
I had lost my mom 3 weeks prior to going to see Rachel.  I was supposed to go see her the week my mom fell ill but it had to be pushed back.  Still I wanted to keep my promise.  Rachel and Jonathan meant everything to me and they still do.  I can't make Rachel see the love I have for her,  I cant make her or her family understand that she is loved beyond compare.  I was made out to be crazy and damaged and mentally ill by Rachel and that was very wrong. It was hurtful to my character and to my heart.  My heart was already broken from losing my mother then to have the person who says they love you and want to be with you belittle and degrade you like that was disheartening and it lead to me thinking of my demise.  I remember spending the day with Rachel, Jonathan, and her mother Jane and just talking about my life where I live.  I was honest and truthful and maybe Rachel and Jane took that for me being unhappy but it was not it was just the reality of my surroundings.  I grew up around a lot of drugs, gangs, racism, and abuse.  I was merely telling them what my life had been comprised of.  Did they think that would affect my relationship with Rachel? Maybe , Maybe not I do know that if I had of let all those things define me then I would have not been alive or able to have had Rachel in my life.  I probably would have given into peer pressure, have been in a gang, done drugs, and been a troubled youth.  I didn't I have never done drugs,  I have never been arrested, never been diagnosed as mentally ill,  I have maybe one or two alcholic beverages a year,  I am kind to others and if Rachel had of taken the time to come here and see how much I am loved and respected then she would have never said the things she said.  Instead of being a loving friend, a girlfriend who actually wanted to be loved, and a good Christian woman she became slanderous, hurtful, and hateful to deal with her own selfish insecurities.   So not only did I want to die but I wanted to get some kind of revenge on her for putting me down, for speaking ill of my dead mother, and for her just being such a rude mean spirited person.


2. Speaking Negatively to Those Who are Hurting
The last thing we should do is be hurtful to those who are in pain.  I was grieving at the time and loving Rachel and Jonathan was one of the ways I got through the pain of losing my mother. My mother had been sick since I was a little child and I even had to stay home and take care of her for a week in my teens.  It was very humbling and I realized just how much love I had and how much love she had for people.  The week before she died she called up every person she had a problem with or had a problem with her and told her that she loved them and she wanted to make peace with them.  It brings me to tears remembering that because I was always my mothers son.  Rachel and Pastor Glenn dont understand that my mothers love lives on through me and she loved Rachel she told me how happy she was that I met her and that she wanted to meet Jonathan and have both of them in her life but she never made it.  She blessed Rachel and her family as I talked to her in the hospital and it was the last talk I ever had with her.  So for the rest of my life the person who I talked with my mom about last, the person I loved enough to give up everything I had here for ignores me and hates me.  Yes I said it Rachel and Pastor Glenn hate me.  Everyday that Rachel ignores this call to peace it is an offense against someone who truly loves her.  See when my mom made those phone calls every last one of those people accepted and some even came to see her in the hospital.  I am trying to show you Rachel Myatt that I love you enough to do anything to make peace with you.  It is not that I am in love with you.  It is that I love you. I love you with a love that transcends any physical relationship or romantic one.  I love you with God's love and there is no love that will ever surpass the love He grants us to give to others.  It is pure and true and that has always been what this blog is about and not trying to get revenge on you or show you how I hate you but how much you and Jonathan still mean to me.  You could have taken the time to understand what I was going though and one day when you lose one of your parents you will understand how mean, cruel, and inconsiderate you were to me and maybe then you will think about why I reacted the way I did.

3. Honesty
I just want my readers to know this.  Rachel did lead me on because I was honest with her and I gave her the opportunity to let me go.  If you have read my blog before and know the backstory.  I asked her at the airport on my way home if she wanted to be my girlfriend.  She said yes.  So I was ready for the disappointment if she said no but instead she gave me false hope, she lied to me, and while I was sitting at home beaming about how I thought I was truly loved and had a real relationship she waited till two days later to abandon me by text instead of being a real woman and looking me in the eye and saying no Byron I don't want to be with you.  I deserved to be loved, treated with decency, and after all I went though to get to her she slapped me in the face and disrespected me like that. Enough said I cant really go on about that anymore because it is so disheartening and disrespectful that you should understand without having to dissect it how wrong it was on so many levels.


Message to Pastor Coleman Glenn
This is directed to the Pastor of Rachel's Church the Dawson Creek New Church in British Columbia, Canada.   I wanted to tell you that as a Pastor the way you reacted as a Pastor hurt me as did Pastor Cooper's  I did and still do heartfeltly and honestly love Rachel.  I considered and still consider her one of my best friends and only time and my continuingly putting my faith in God will let her know I am worth coming back too.  I came to you as a servant of God because of what was said to me and because I was concerned of the selfishness in the doctrine. I was concerned that such a beautiful message could be clouded with such hedonism, self serving, and selfishness.  The one thing you failed to recognize the whole time is I came to you as one Christian to another. I didn't set out to hurt Rachel I set out to let her know that she hurt me and that I wanted to resolve why being taught a certian way would make her prescribe to such a hateful and hurtful attitude.  I will not apologize for anything I have put in my blog comparing what you said or contrasting your blogs or what you have said to me as I find it necessary in pointing out certain truths.  I will as your brother and fellow Christian apologize if at anytime my blog has been seen as a personal attack on you as it has not meant to be.  I have the utmost respect for you and all the Pastors in the New Church especially the one in the U.S. who contacted me in the intial "Letters to Rachel" campaign.

4. Responsibilty and Involving Others In Our Business
Everyday that Rachel is silent and ignores me is another day I keep up the fight.  The sad thing about this is that instead of make peace with me she would rather this get bigger and bigger.  I made messages to her on youtube, I have been in correspondence with her Church.  The Church of the New Jerusalem worldwide gets pegged in your personal mess. Pastor Glenn got called out.  You apparently dont like the fact that I use pictures of you some of which are mine like the one on this page.  I mean Rachel where does it end. How many people will you let be part of what you caused before you just admit to what you did was wrong or you pick up the phone and make peace with me.  The most courageous thing I do each day is write this blog and love you and forgive you everyday.  The other most courageous thing I do is pray and let God know I still love you and Jonathan and just to bless you and your family Rachel.  I do not harbor this ill will and want to get some sick self centered quick revenge on you.  The fact is I don't want retalation at all I want my best friend back and for her to realize that this has been done because I truly love you.  I am sorry if at times it has felt that I am just on here to bash and destroy you or your reputation but it is not. That is why I put the disclaimer up saying this is an attempt at peace and reconcilation and it is.  I want God to win. I want love to win.  I never will give up on God's love and I wont give up on your Rachel Myatt.  Though all I have been though I still believe in you.  I love you and believe in you Rachel Myatt and I will never stop that. If you want to sue me for being man enough to not give up on you, for loving you everyday that I could hate you, for having the foresight and being a subscriber to Christ vision of peace, love, and oneness for all then go ahead.  I have been kicked, punched, and beat down so much in this last year and a half it would just be another notch on my belt or mark on the wall.  Fact is Rachel Myatt it seems you cant accept that someone might actually truly love you and is actually your true friend.  I always thought the world of you and you thought so little of me.


In the coming days Rachel will find out just how much I love her.  Her name will have a place in history as I will reveal that on Valentine's Day and I will release a spoken word to youtube in the next week or two about forgiveness and true love.  I have had other people in my life that I fought to love but only because they were worth it.  You know what they came around and they are still my friend one of them is even my other Canadian ex who is now one of my best friends.  I love you Rachel Myatt so if you are reading this please lay down what ever insecurities and walls that bind you from loving me and making peace with me and come back to  my heart.  I will never love anyone as much as I love you and if I have to write this blog everyday for the rest of my life I will.  You mean that much to me.


Rachel Myatt and Pastor Coleman Glenn what you said to me in belittling my love for both of you and my calling in Christ was hurtful but it only showed me how beautiful and strong I am because I never backed down.  There is a beautiful saying going around in Christian Community that defines the love that I have and why I haven't backed down. It says "Conform To Christ, Not Other Christians" It is not so much what you believe but how you follow Christ example and treat others to walk in His footsteps and image.  To all my readers, Rachel Myatt, Jonathan Myatt, The Myatt, Friesen, and Baker Families, Pastor Coleman Glenn, The Dawson Creek New Church, and The Church of The New Jerusalem Worldwide and you dear Reader!  This is Byron signing off this Sunday Morning with a trust and a faith in God that will not falter.  I love you all.



P.S. For anyone that wants to judge me for what I have written, done, and said if you have children, a family, and love then it is all I wanted in this life and I was in pursuit of that.  Rachel severely played with that and traumatized me at a time when I needed that more than anything.  So before you look at me in a harrassing or light of someone that is obsessed with someone then turn and look at your spouse, your children, and the love you have and then imagine me only wanting that. I wanted to be loved and to love and having someone say they want that with you then abandon you when you did nothing but love them and believe in them.  Being judged by people in the New Chuch because I was man enough to love Rachel and want to love her and her son.  Love woman with a child who didnt belong to me but I would have loved him like my own flesh and blood.  Just think about that for a second people!!!  Rachel Myatt thought that I would just be out of sight out of mind and she could treat me anyway she wanted to once I left Canada and came back to the States and there would be no consequences. Just remember that people are real and people have feelings and do get hurt so no matter how much she wants to pretend that I dont exist I do and the hurt and the pain is real. I want the members of the Dawson Creek Church of the New Jerusalem and The New Church Worldwide to think about what I just said.  This was always about love, family, and honesty to another.  Rachel chose her actions and selfishly handled things it was her free will to do so. I reacted with this blog to show her how deeply she hurt me and how her lies and actions continually hurt people. I dont care how it affects her because she is unresponsive, she hides, she lets her church, her family, and others take the wrap for things instead of be a woman and take things into her own hands.  I truly love Rachel and I in the next couple of days dear readers you will see the honesty, sincerity, and complacency that is in my heart.  Thank you for your time.



God Bless All