Rachel and Jonathan

Rachel and Jonathan
I Love you and Always Will

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Love That Sees No Boundaries


Uncle Tupelo "No Depression" Cover of the Carter Family Classic(yes June Carter's Family)
            
                                           "A Little More Love" by Olivia Newton-John
                          This was my favorite song when I was 3 years old the year it came out.
                          I always loved this song because it encourage me to love no matter what
                          And in the end that there would be a happy ending.



Songs from My Funeral( Please Note this is not about suicide or me wanting to die it is simply a declaration for people to know how when I pass that I want to be remembered)

1. Wild Hearted Son - The Cult  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2SlxgvV_SuI
This song is for all my friends and family who know I never give up on them even when the chips are down.  This is for the friends who have been through what Rachel is going through with me because I loved them so much and I never stopped and fought for that love.  This is for Rachel and Pastor Coleman Glenn who think that I hate them but they only know what they see.  This is my song.  This is the one that made me realize how beautiful my intensity was and that those who put me down and didnt understand me were lost.

2. Old Age- by Hole http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PQSlcvCyyPc  I waited a lifetime to fall in love with someone truly extraordinary and I knew when it happened it would change my life.  This was the song that kept me alive through all the women who never got it till it was too late and Rachel I want you to realize that you are the one.  You and Jonathan are the one that moved heaven and earth and made me feel like I was worth loving and I wasn't going to be an old maid with no love, bitter, hateful, and alone.  If you cant understand how bad you are hurting me then listen to these lyrics.



3. Pillars - by Sunny Day Real Estate http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZHGEi3ov8Xw&feature=related Jeremy Enigk the lead singer left behind the chance to become almost as big as Nirvana with Sunny Day Real Estate because he found Christ. Two members of this band have been in the Foo Fighters since the start.  This was the first song off "How It Feels To Be Something On" the first reunion album after Jeremy took his sabbatical to spend time loving God.  It is always been special for me as a Christian and this album is deep and personal. 

4. Free To Decide - by The Cranberries  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7SO67RydKc I listen to this song a lot in my early 20's but immediately after Rachel abandoned me I listened to it. I cried alot and though about ending my life and then I thought of God's promise of love and that I put my faith in Him he would make everything right and that if I truly loved Rachel I would live and fight to show her I love her and put my faith in God which is what I am doing no matter who makes fun of me, puts me down, or downplays my effort I know Jesus is the only way and I chose life because I love you and Jonathan, my dear Rachel.  I never wanted to lay the burden of losing me like you put the burden of me losing you on my heart.

5. Orange Appled - By The Cocteau Twins  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B150J2pQaBA  This is one of the most beautiful songs ever written anyone who has been abused mentally, physically, or sexually should listen to this song or pick up a Cocteau Twins from 1982-1990 and lose yourself in it. It will help you deal with a lot of pain and hurt.  Liz Frazier sung in an almost undecipherable childspeak until 1990's "Heaven Or Las Vegas" album. This is from an Ep of songs called "Love's Easy Tears" Rachel I want you to know I love you so much and all this hurt and animosity is killing me literally.  Listen to this song and think about all the unconditional love I have for you no matter what and how I have never given up on you.


If You Belong to the Church of The New Jerusalem and you have been cruel to me about wanting a family and made fun of my desire to want to be a husband and father and have doubted my reasons for be upset and sad.  Listen to this song. This is what Rachel played with this is what I wanted with her. I waited my whole life to love Rachel and Jonathan this much
6. Saved By Love- By Amy Grant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPjCAOtdYo0
I Will Never love anyone as much as I love Rachel and want a family ever again after what she did because I wanted it with her and I gave her my true love. God's love, true faith, and I believed in her as a Good Christian Woman so anyone who has judged me and has a family is hypocritical and doesn't truly understand that God put that love in us and for me it is strong and beautiful out of all the women I dated with children it was Rachel and Jonathan I chose to love. God led me to them and I will not give up on that love.  I have been used, abused, and played games with but deep inside I know Rachel is better than this and I know she loves me so I will not walk away from her.

7. Missing by Flyleaf http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXU0gEVwILs This is song is by Christians for Christians who have had broken hearts and who have put their trust in God for their relationships. I love you Rachel remember how I shared my love of this band and my love for you.


8. Two Kinds of Right by the Grates http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B_tpnUtykEg

9. Call of The Wild - by  Chris LeDoux http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=31WBruHtisM


10. You Gave Me A Promise -  by Fireflight http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEIFuUbT_9A

If I died tomorrow I know Jesus loves me and He would never let me carry a burden I cant handle. The people in the New Church ignore me now but soon they will pay attention and soon they will realize how their unkindness, blindness, and uncaring hurts people.  Rachel Myatt I love you with all my heart. I just wish you would put away all the animosity, being insecure, and pain to let me love you and Jonathan.  That was the only reason I ever came to you to love you. I am still in love with you and that is not going to change. You thought I could just turn it off and if I have to go country to country, door to door, computer to computer to let people know I love you then I have a lot of work to do. I would rather you pick up the phone and end this and us be in each others good graces and best friends again. The choice is yours though.  You decide what I do next but you are killing my love for you.  That is sad. I truly care for you.


God Bless ALL



                                                 





                                                                     




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