Dear Rachel and Readers,
This is taken from an essay from the New Church Perspective and is actually written by Coleman Glenn the Pastor who is always in question on my blog. I have nothing but respect for the man and this essay he has written seems to lean on the side that though he has a distinct theological and philosophical take on his religious world view, he is open minded. It never seemed that way with me. He was always trying to prove the Writings right and me wrong and that what I was doing in regards to Rachel. It seemed to me that no one ever took into consideration that Rachel could have lied, or said cruel things to me, or been a such horrible person because the Church looks on her with such favor there in Dawson Creek. I am sorry but she is not as good as everyone thinks and because they pull the wool over their eyes of how she acts they are blind to it. Why would anyone say things against the person they love the most in the world. I do them because it was the truth. I love Rachel with all my heart but I had to expose the truth about her cruel nature. I came to Pastor Glenn after she said I was stupid for going to the Church and once again she doubted my abilities and what I could do and now look how far things have went. It was an attempt for her to be humbled from being such an unkind person. I always felt that way when she and I talked she talked down about other adults but was always kind to children her being a foster mother and all. It was his attitude and reaction that has also been part of keeping things alive on this blog. I want to share with you a passage from the essay and I will also link to the full essay. I am not here to bash the good Pastor only to be comparative and offer my point of view of things that happened with me because of Rachel and how his response had a hand in this blog. Please read and make your own perception of things as it has always been my place to let each decide what they take from things on their own without being biased. Two sides to every story(Circle and Sides my next blog )
here is the link to the full blog and below is my contrasting pointhttp://www.newchurchperspective.com/essays/2012/2/3/how-i-view-the-writings-part-i.html
This is an excerpt from the blog
"If I have an attitude of genuinely seeking for what the Lord says for the sake of life, even if I get things completely wrong, those falsities can be used for good. The problem only arises if a person confirms himself in the fallacies of the senses – and especially when a person not only confirms himself in his understanding, but also uses them to confirm lusts in his life. How do I avoid this? I try to always be open to the fact that my understanding could be off. And I try to avoid confirming truths for selfish reasons. In that case, even if something is true, it’s as if it were evil. To use an example from a recent discussion here: I believe Conjugial Love 175 when it says that women cannot enter into the offices proper to men and men cannot enter into the offices proper to women, and that women cannot raise their minds into the same rational light as men (nor can men raise their minds into the same warmth as women, per CL 188). I believe it because the Lord says it, and it doesn’t seem to me to contradict any other teachings in the Word. And I try to see the truth of it in the world. But – I am open to the fact that I could be understanding it wrong. And even if it is true, if I use that to love my own intelligence, or to feed a love of dominion in myself, then even though it’s true in itself, it’s false with me."
When I read this I understood it to be a reaction to an earlier discussion about Women being ordained as Ministers in the New Church or even Churches in General. It has always been my understanding that God wants to use all of us to spread his Word and I think right now we have a misogynist and patriarchal Church period and in that I mean Churches not just The Church of the New Jerusalem. My World Religion Professor in College was a Baptist Minister he was a male. My Speech Professor at the same institution was a Baptist Minister was a female. It was interesting that the male Professor had such an open mind and was enthusiastic about Religion you could talk to him about anything. My female Professor on the other hand was very narrow minded she told us for our final speech we could not talk about Religion, Sex, or Drugs. She was also a big fan Disney at the time. My final speech was about the freedom of speech in the first 3 minutes I had talked about all the things she told us not to but she knew I was right in doing so because my premise was correct and it was about being able to speak freely. I opened the speech(which I still have on a VHS tape) with the old adage about yelling fire in a crowded theater. Then I brought a tshirt that may seem offensive to women and explained that it was from an all female rock band and that it showed that women have power and that they are able to show their strengths and gifts in society riddled by patriachy and corruption. I also talked about drugs and though I have never taken the stuff in my life(I hardly ever take the prescription drugs I get for pain lol) I defended and made an arguement for certain things such as the mariuana plant and how it is used to cloth and help others such as cancer patients. The part she didnt like is when I called out Disney and the Religious Fundamentalist for something that had happened that year. Disney owned record label Hollywood Records at the time and controversial rap group Insane Clown Posse had been dropped from the label six hours after the record came out because of lyrics that some held objectional but on the other hand they were able to release an album by former Misfit singer and Satanist Glenn Danzig. The album BlackAcidDevil. How did that go under the radar Christian Fundamentalist? This was Danzig's 5th album and not one of them said a thing to Disney about it. It seems people who are so bent on having a slanted and narrow world view are quick to judge without researching things. Should I judge every female minister from my experience and say that they shouldnt serve at that level. No I believe in the hiearchy in the Church there are duties that a man should attend to but women at some level should be able to spread the word of God because they do bring a different reasoning to it and it may even enlighten and enhance ones perceptions of the Word. God loves us all and wants us all to share with others. We can witness by being who we are and living by example. That is one reason I came to the Church with my concerns about Rachel. She used her faith as a crutch to love others not just me. I know there is so much love and good in her heart and that is why I never let her push me away she decided to do that herself with her attitude, misperceptions, and her inconsideration of my circumstances at the time. Like I have said before she knew about everything the whole time I was honest and I never lied to her. If her family didnt like me she said she would still stand up for me and I feel that is what happened because I asked her that question and she couldnt answer it. I liked them just fine I was just shy and heartbroken after losing my mom and I was probably about 70% of who I was but if Rachel had of stuck with me and given me time and patience like I had given her for so long then she would have found everything she wanted to see. Death is a traumatic experience and she said so many sweet things to me about how she would be there for me then abandoned all those promises and things quickly. At the end of the day I just wanted respect and love and I did not recieve those from either Rachel Myatt or Pastor Glenn in most aspects and this is not to say that the Pastor doesnt respect me because he does. He just didnt in the context of seeing my love and how deeply Rachel had actually lied and hurt me.
I want to let you know with that being said everyday I pick something to read from the Arcana Coelestia. I read New Church articles. I listen to sermons and to Pastor Glenn it seemed I was some idiot that was just angry that Rachel didnt want to be with me. I was never that person. I was upset that she lied, I was upset that she used her faith to constantly put me and others down, and I was upset that because of free will he thought that she could just do what she wants and there be no consequences because that is what she said to me. While I do not consider anyone in the New Church my enemy as Rachel made me into. I know this you need to go into every situation and arguement with an open mind, heart, and be able to discuss rationally the question at hand. What am I gettting at in regards to Coleman Glenn's Blog? It is in this passage of his that I have used that I feel he contradicts what he says because many times I told him that it was my calling to love Rachel and it was not something selfish I was doing for myself. It was not about lust, because if you have read my earlier blogs I was put in a situation where I could have cheated on Rachel and not been pure for her and I resisted the temptation. Rachel was the only one I wanted to give my body and all of me to. I love her and her son with one of the purest loves ever and that is what I have been trying to show both himself, Rachel, and those in the New Church. I was faced with so many women at the time when Rachel came into my life and I had prayed about it because I spent five years alone. My previous girlfriend died of a brain tumor and I gave myself time to love me before I entered into another relationship. In summer of 2009 I prayed about it and Rachel came into my life early 2010. The love I had for Rachel was and is incredible I love her and her son even from this distance and all the pain that has come with all my heart. My friends and family and all pray that she eventually realizes that I will not give up on her. It is not what God wants me to do and Coleman whether you understand that revelation or not or disagree with it, it is my cross to bear and you were just one of God's conduits into the situation. If Rachel wants to continue living her life hurting people and then pretending they dont exist then fine. I wont live my life that way. It was because of my love for her I never gave up and God has lifted me to a spiritual plane and an understanding that was greater than before. I am glad that you are passionate about your faith Pastor Glenn but there are time when you do come off as obnoxious and wanted to only prove yourself theologically right and for any Christian and situation that is not always the best thing to do. I was never shown any compassion by you for the fact that Rachel not only caused pain to me at the time but that she disrespected my deceased mother. That is what struck me the most. I came to you for mostly that reason that Rachel was so hellbent on pushing me away and getting rid of me any love between us almost turned to hate and evil because she was so cruel. If you want I can post up all of Rachel's emails for you Pastor Glenn and I can show everyone all the things she said to me and how she was contradictory to me and the love she said she had for me in this case. I have said many times though that is petty and I love her too much to do it that way. With that being said. I have not revealed my essay "Why The New Church Thinks You Are Wrong?" to the New Church and it will not be revealed to the New Church until March. February is about me loving Rachel and showing her that with God you can do anything even when things look rough. I have spent in excess of a year trying to make peace with her and show her that my love is pure and true for her and Jonathan. It is her loss if she denies it and she keeps hiding in the shadows trying to hide from what she did. My name is Byron and I am proud to write this blog. I am out in the open. I have told of all my pain and what has gone on in my life proudly because of my love for Rachel. I dont expect you to ever understand the love in my heart Pastor Glenn but if you were a true servant of God then you would respect it. Respect the fact that I love someone instead of hate them for what they did to me. Respect the fact that I am trying to show a love greater than human love but the Love of Christ which is forgiving and long suffering. Respect the fact that I respect you as a Pastor and have shown you and your congregation love even if you have hurt me and disrespected me with your words. Respect the fact that I am not some weak minded individual that throws around rhetoric and theology without first examining and reflecting on that. Yes Pastor Glennn I am someone who reads to be enlightened and here is one point I am getting at. Is turning someone away from the Church what God wants us to do? It seems you and Rachel did that. I needed that love in my life after I lost my mom but all I got was excuses and theological reasons why I was wrong. What if God wanted to use me in the New Church Pastor Glenn? One of Rachel's complaints was that no one ever accepted her faith when dating her and I did! So Rachel can never use that again from now on it will be her personally who turns people away from the Church because I was open minded and learning. If you truly cared about Rachel and me you would discuss the past couple of blogs I have written with her and also about charity and kindness to others. You see Pastor Glenn I am not here to put you down I am here because I love you. You could be my enemy but since I never treat others like that and only as friends I will never know that evil. When I was a young boy I had a friend who turned his back on me because he was Catholic and he didnt like my mothers religion. We were little kids 10 or 11. He told me he hated me and hated my mom and wouldnt play with me again. I was sad I experienced so much hate for what my mom believed and for the color of my skin as a young child well on into my teens. I used to just sit on the playground and look at him because I was sad I lost something special in my life because I was different and I couldnt change that. A year later he told me he was sorry and we became the best of friends again and I even became good friends with his cousin. I never tried to get revenge or hurt him because he caused me pain. Even at that young age I just prayed and was always kind to him. I want you to understand that is what I am doing with Rachel. Rachel Myatt I love you with all my heart. Myatt Family I love you with all my heart. New Church of Dawson Creek I love you all and this is not an attack on you it is a revelation and it is my path I must continue on no matter how painful it looks now. I love Rachel Myatt and I know God will make things right in time. Rachel I miss you and Jonathan and I cant make you come back I just put my faith in God not blindly but surely that you will someday.
God Bless Rachel Myatt and the Myatt Family
God Bless Pastor Coleman Glenn
God Bless my readers for their continued support and love
God Bless All
This is taken from an essay from the New Church Perspective and is actually written by Coleman Glenn the Pastor who is always in question on my blog. I have nothing but respect for the man and this essay he has written seems to lean on the side that though he has a distinct theological and philosophical take on his religious world view, he is open minded. It never seemed that way with me. He was always trying to prove the Writings right and me wrong and that what I was doing in regards to Rachel. It seemed to me that no one ever took into consideration that Rachel could have lied, or said cruel things to me, or been a such horrible person because the Church looks on her with such favor there in Dawson Creek. I am sorry but she is not as good as everyone thinks and because they pull the wool over their eyes of how she acts they are blind to it. Why would anyone say things against the person they love the most in the world. I do them because it was the truth. I love Rachel with all my heart but I had to expose the truth about her cruel nature. I came to Pastor Glenn after she said I was stupid for going to the Church and once again she doubted my abilities and what I could do and now look how far things have went. It was an attempt for her to be humbled from being such an unkind person. I always felt that way when she and I talked she talked down about other adults but was always kind to children her being a foster mother and all. It was his attitude and reaction that has also been part of keeping things alive on this blog. I want to share with you a passage from the essay and I will also link to the full essay. I am not here to bash the good Pastor only to be comparative and offer my point of view of things that happened with me because of Rachel and how his response had a hand in this blog. Please read and make your own perception of things as it has always been my place to let each decide what they take from things on their own without being biased. Two sides to every story(Circle and Sides my next blog )
here is the link to the full blog and below is my contrasting pointhttp://www.newchurchperspective.com/essays/2012/2/3/how-i-view-the-writings-part-i.html
This is an excerpt from the blog
"If I have an attitude of genuinely seeking for what the Lord says for the sake of life, even if I get things completely wrong, those falsities can be used for good. The problem only arises if a person confirms himself in the fallacies of the senses – and especially when a person not only confirms himself in his understanding, but also uses them to confirm lusts in his life. How do I avoid this? I try to always be open to the fact that my understanding could be off. And I try to avoid confirming truths for selfish reasons. In that case, even if something is true, it’s as if it were evil. To use an example from a recent discussion here: I believe Conjugial Love 175 when it says that women cannot enter into the offices proper to men and men cannot enter into the offices proper to women, and that women cannot raise their minds into the same rational light as men (nor can men raise their minds into the same warmth as women, per CL 188). I believe it because the Lord says it, and it doesn’t seem to me to contradict any other teachings in the Word. And I try to see the truth of it in the world. But – I am open to the fact that I could be understanding it wrong. And even if it is true, if I use that to love my own intelligence, or to feed a love of dominion in myself, then even though it’s true in itself, it’s false with me."
When I read this I understood it to be a reaction to an earlier discussion about Women being ordained as Ministers in the New Church or even Churches in General. It has always been my understanding that God wants to use all of us to spread his Word and I think right now we have a misogynist and patriarchal Church period and in that I mean Churches not just The Church of the New Jerusalem. My World Religion Professor in College was a Baptist Minister he was a male. My Speech Professor at the same institution was a Baptist Minister was a female. It was interesting that the male Professor had such an open mind and was enthusiastic about Religion you could talk to him about anything. My female Professor on the other hand was very narrow minded she told us for our final speech we could not talk about Religion, Sex, or Drugs. She was also a big fan Disney at the time. My final speech was about the freedom of speech in the first 3 minutes I had talked about all the things she told us not to but she knew I was right in doing so because my premise was correct and it was about being able to speak freely. I opened the speech(which I still have on a VHS tape) with the old adage about yelling fire in a crowded theater. Then I brought a tshirt that may seem offensive to women and explained that it was from an all female rock band and that it showed that women have power and that they are able to show their strengths and gifts in society riddled by patriachy and corruption. I also talked about drugs and though I have never taken the stuff in my life(I hardly ever take the prescription drugs I get for pain lol) I defended and made an arguement for certain things such as the mariuana plant and how it is used to cloth and help others such as cancer patients. The part she didnt like is when I called out Disney and the Religious Fundamentalist for something that had happened that year. Disney owned record label Hollywood Records at the time and controversial rap group Insane Clown Posse had been dropped from the label six hours after the record came out because of lyrics that some held objectional but on the other hand they were able to release an album by former Misfit singer and Satanist Glenn Danzig. The album BlackAcidDevil. How did that go under the radar Christian Fundamentalist? This was Danzig's 5th album and not one of them said a thing to Disney about it. It seems people who are so bent on having a slanted and narrow world view are quick to judge without researching things. Should I judge every female minister from my experience and say that they shouldnt serve at that level. No I believe in the hiearchy in the Church there are duties that a man should attend to but women at some level should be able to spread the word of God because they do bring a different reasoning to it and it may even enlighten and enhance ones perceptions of the Word. God loves us all and wants us all to share with others. We can witness by being who we are and living by example. That is one reason I came to the Church with my concerns about Rachel. She used her faith as a crutch to love others not just me. I know there is so much love and good in her heart and that is why I never let her push me away she decided to do that herself with her attitude, misperceptions, and her inconsideration of my circumstances at the time. Like I have said before she knew about everything the whole time I was honest and I never lied to her. If her family didnt like me she said she would still stand up for me and I feel that is what happened because I asked her that question and she couldnt answer it. I liked them just fine I was just shy and heartbroken after losing my mom and I was probably about 70% of who I was but if Rachel had of stuck with me and given me time and patience like I had given her for so long then she would have found everything she wanted to see. Death is a traumatic experience and she said so many sweet things to me about how she would be there for me then abandoned all those promises and things quickly. At the end of the day I just wanted respect and love and I did not recieve those from either Rachel Myatt or Pastor Glenn in most aspects and this is not to say that the Pastor doesnt respect me because he does. He just didnt in the context of seeing my love and how deeply Rachel had actually lied and hurt me.
I want to let you know with that being said everyday I pick something to read from the Arcana Coelestia. I read New Church articles. I listen to sermons and to Pastor Glenn it seemed I was some idiot that was just angry that Rachel didnt want to be with me. I was never that person. I was upset that she lied, I was upset that she used her faith to constantly put me and others down, and I was upset that because of free will he thought that she could just do what she wants and there be no consequences because that is what she said to me. While I do not consider anyone in the New Church my enemy as Rachel made me into. I know this you need to go into every situation and arguement with an open mind, heart, and be able to discuss rationally the question at hand. What am I gettting at in regards to Coleman Glenn's Blog? It is in this passage of his that I have used that I feel he contradicts what he says because many times I told him that it was my calling to love Rachel and it was not something selfish I was doing for myself. It was not about lust, because if you have read my earlier blogs I was put in a situation where I could have cheated on Rachel and not been pure for her and I resisted the temptation. Rachel was the only one I wanted to give my body and all of me to. I love her and her son with one of the purest loves ever and that is what I have been trying to show both himself, Rachel, and those in the New Church. I was faced with so many women at the time when Rachel came into my life and I had prayed about it because I spent five years alone. My previous girlfriend died of a brain tumor and I gave myself time to love me before I entered into another relationship. In summer of 2009 I prayed about it and Rachel came into my life early 2010. The love I had for Rachel was and is incredible I love her and her son even from this distance and all the pain that has come with all my heart. My friends and family and all pray that she eventually realizes that I will not give up on her. It is not what God wants me to do and Coleman whether you understand that revelation or not or disagree with it, it is my cross to bear and you were just one of God's conduits into the situation. If Rachel wants to continue living her life hurting people and then pretending they dont exist then fine. I wont live my life that way. It was because of my love for her I never gave up and God has lifted me to a spiritual plane and an understanding that was greater than before. I am glad that you are passionate about your faith Pastor Glenn but there are time when you do come off as obnoxious and wanted to only prove yourself theologically right and for any Christian and situation that is not always the best thing to do. I was never shown any compassion by you for the fact that Rachel not only caused pain to me at the time but that she disrespected my deceased mother. That is what struck me the most. I came to you for mostly that reason that Rachel was so hellbent on pushing me away and getting rid of me any love between us almost turned to hate and evil because she was so cruel. If you want I can post up all of Rachel's emails for you Pastor Glenn and I can show everyone all the things she said to me and how she was contradictory to me and the love she said she had for me in this case. I have said many times though that is petty and I love her too much to do it that way. With that being said. I have not revealed my essay "Why The New Church Thinks You Are Wrong?" to the New Church and it will not be revealed to the New Church until March. February is about me loving Rachel and showing her that with God you can do anything even when things look rough. I have spent in excess of a year trying to make peace with her and show her that my love is pure and true for her and Jonathan. It is her loss if she denies it and she keeps hiding in the shadows trying to hide from what she did. My name is Byron and I am proud to write this blog. I am out in the open. I have told of all my pain and what has gone on in my life proudly because of my love for Rachel. I dont expect you to ever understand the love in my heart Pastor Glenn but if you were a true servant of God then you would respect it. Respect the fact that I love someone instead of hate them for what they did to me. Respect the fact that I am trying to show a love greater than human love but the Love of Christ which is forgiving and long suffering. Respect the fact that I respect you as a Pastor and have shown you and your congregation love even if you have hurt me and disrespected me with your words. Respect the fact that I am not some weak minded individual that throws around rhetoric and theology without first examining and reflecting on that. Yes Pastor Glennn I am someone who reads to be enlightened and here is one point I am getting at. Is turning someone away from the Church what God wants us to do? It seems you and Rachel did that. I needed that love in my life after I lost my mom but all I got was excuses and theological reasons why I was wrong. What if God wanted to use me in the New Church Pastor Glenn? One of Rachel's complaints was that no one ever accepted her faith when dating her and I did! So Rachel can never use that again from now on it will be her personally who turns people away from the Church because I was open minded and learning. If you truly cared about Rachel and me you would discuss the past couple of blogs I have written with her and also about charity and kindness to others. You see Pastor Glenn I am not here to put you down I am here because I love you. You could be my enemy but since I never treat others like that and only as friends I will never know that evil. When I was a young boy I had a friend who turned his back on me because he was Catholic and he didnt like my mothers religion. We were little kids 10 or 11. He told me he hated me and hated my mom and wouldnt play with me again. I was sad I experienced so much hate for what my mom believed and for the color of my skin as a young child well on into my teens. I used to just sit on the playground and look at him because I was sad I lost something special in my life because I was different and I couldnt change that. A year later he told me he was sorry and we became the best of friends again and I even became good friends with his cousin. I never tried to get revenge or hurt him because he caused me pain. Even at that young age I just prayed and was always kind to him. I want you to understand that is what I am doing with Rachel. Rachel Myatt I love you with all my heart. Myatt Family I love you with all my heart. New Church of Dawson Creek I love you all and this is not an attack on you it is a revelation and it is my path I must continue on no matter how painful it looks now. I love Rachel Myatt and I know God will make things right in time. Rachel I miss you and Jonathan and I cant make you come back I just put my faith in God not blindly but surely that you will someday.
God Bless Rachel Myatt and the Myatt Family
God Bless Pastor Coleman Glenn
God Bless my readers for their continued support and love
God Bless All
No comments:
Post a Comment