Dear Rachel,
I would give my life for you and Jonathan. You were the most loved person ever in my life. I dont know what I ever did to deserve your cruelty and hate. All I know is that I love you so much that everyday I literally die a little more. I saw a woman the other day in the craft store that looked so much like you I wanted to cry. I think about you so much and how things would have been if you had of just been patient with me not so much romantically but as my best friend. I loved you in the Lord Rachel and that is something deeper than just wanting a girlfriend or partner. That is true friendship, that is humility, honesty, patience, and long suffering. All the times I could have hung up the phone and given up on you because you were cruel and unaccepting of my faith and my life I didnt because I loved you the person. You flaws, your imperfections, and your strengths. I was always proud you were the woman I love. For whatever reason whether it have been pressure from your family, being scared, or what have you. I never deserved the cruelty you inflicted on me. Most of all you hurt my mother who believed in you Rachel. She was so happy for you and me and the pictures of you and Jonathan always made her smile. I will never forget you Rachel Myatt you were the love of my life. My life is slowly fading because I have no tears left to cry and no goodness left in my heart to give. When you have been battered and hated as much as I have you can only take so much. So today for this blog I pray this short prayer.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Take the hurt from my soul and make me new. Let Rachel know that she is loved beyond compare by You and that Your love you gave to me to never give up on her. Take the evil that resides in both of us and wash it away so that we can make peace. God please bring us together and put an end to this. I love Rachel Myatt so much and before my heart slips into darkness I know you will carry us both into the light. You would never let me carry a burden I couldnt handle and I am asking You to help me bear this cross Oh Lord. I come to you with a weary soul and a tired heart but You alone Father know how much love I have to give and you have never let me stop loving Rachel so please hear my humble prayer and have mercy on my heart and guide me in the way of the light.
Amen
Footprints in the Sand
| One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord. |
| Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky. |
| In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand. |
| Sometimes there were two sets of footprints, |
| other times there were one set of footprints. |
| This bothered me because I noticed |
| that during the low periods of my life, |
| when I was suffering from |
| anguish, sorrow or defeat, |
| I could see only one set of footprints. |
| So I said to the Lord, |
| "You promised me Lord, |
| that if I followed you, |
| you would walk with me always. |
| But I have noticed that during |
| the most trying periods of my life |
| there have only been one |
| set of footprints in the sand. |
| Why, when I needed you most, |
| you have not been there for me?" |
| The Lord replied, |
| "The times when you have |
| seen only one set of footprints, |
| is when I carried you." |
Mary Stevenson |
Rachel and Readers this is the most trying time in my life but even with all the barbs, arrows, missles and hurt being thrown at me I still believe in the Lord and that He will make things right between Rachel and I. Anyone that thinks I hate or want harm done to Rachel hasnt actually read or seen what I have gone through to tell her I love her. I dont hate the New Church either. I just want Rachel to come back to my heart and know that not only did she lose a boyfriend she lost something much deeper. A True Friend in Christ. That is why I fell in love with her not because of her looks, or anything superficial, because of the deep friendship we had and love for the Lord and in the end it seems mine wasnt good enough for her even though I accepted her. I end this blog with a heart tired and saddened. Its trampled, bruised, and almost non existant but this is my last attempt before I just give into something less of me. Rachel Myatt I love you now, forever, and always and if you hear me today please contact me and end this with me. You are my best friend and I cant go on living with you not being in my life. I love you so much.
I ask you today to let Love Win over Evil, Reconciliation over Retaliation, Will over Fear, Happiness over Sadness, Joy over Pain. I ask you today Rachel Myatt to bury the hatchet with me and recieve once again the greatest gift we can give each otherLOVE
No comments:
Post a Comment