This Blog is a Response to being called unloving for creating this blog by Pastor Derrick Lumsden of the New Church in South Africa. I am going to explain a few things to him and this is also a message to Rachel and the Myatt family about what I am going to disclose in the next few weeks in my campaign.
Above is a song called "Ask Me" by contemporary Christian Artist Amy Grant. It is a song about child abuse. I was abused and molested at 9 years old it was one of the things that I shared in confidence with Rachel and for my life I have been very careful who I would share my body with. I loved Rachel and the fact that she slept with me and then treated me like it was nothing was very painful and I will share that with anyone. Being with her was a matter of trust because God gives us our body to treat as a treasure and a vessel. This song is also an example of the so called sappy praise and worship music that Derrick Lumsden thinks Protestants, Evangelicals, and even Catholics listen to is so simple and has so little meaning. I cant believe a Pastor would even say things like that. I never say things unwarranted so here is his statement from New Church Perspective online. http://www.newchurchperspective.com/essays/2012/6/8/spiritual-sustainability-a-response.html
"I also have a critique of contemporary Christian music that much of it is emotionally sappy and lyrically simple. I think this reflects the Christian doctrines of mercy without means (sappy emotion) and faith alone (one point doctrinal perspective). I think there is a crying need for New Church people to compose music that expresses the order and beauty of what the New Church has to offer in a style more palatable to contemporary tastes." Pastor Derrick Lumsden
The people in the New Church talk about how they accept other peoples perspectives, religions, and views yet they constantly put down other forms of Christianity and act like they are better than everyone else. You want to talk about other people being unloving Pastor Lumsden but yet you yourself would up such a one sided critique of Christian Music. Most of the New Church Music I have seen and people singing has been akin to folk music but do I make fun of it and put it down. No because it is not my place to and it is a beautiful expression of love to God. Why would you put down others love of God. I will attempt to share with you some of my favorite Contemporary Christian songs that helped me through tough times all of different styles and the fact is if you consider them sappy and simple then you really must not listen to much Christian music these days outside of the New Church and that has been my point all along. You want to stay in your little box and circle and judge others but not even see the world around you and that is why people observe you as a cult.
This song is called "Buildings Tumble" by MxPx I grew up listening to this band and they are about the same age I am. This song is about Forgiveness and Reconcilation. Something I am trying to seek with Rachel and the Myatt Family but they choose not to seek with me. They were the ones who transgressed against me. Rachel said all the cruel things, lied, put me down, and abused my love for her and said I did not love God, yet though you preach of these things Pastor Lumsden I dont see Rachel or others in the New Church extending this hand of love to me as I am to them. MxPx was one of the groups that bridged the gap between popular music and Christian music and they helped a lot of kids who may not have come to God come to him through music. The band are mostly influenced by punk rock and have always been model Christian examples of how God loves all.
Lamb of God by Rebecca St. James is one of my favorite praise and worship songs. Sappy I think not. Not only is Rebecca a great singer but she is an author, I sent one of her books to Rachel and her Sister about Forgiveness. She has an active Ministry, is an actress, and is married to Cubbie Fink of popular band Foster The People. It is her passion and her zeal to bring people not only to the Lord but examine the Bible that has always inspired me. This song is from her album "Live Worship" Blessed Be Your Name
Pastor Lumsden if you think Christian Music these days is sappy and one dimensional this is one of the best selling Christian band of all time, Underoath. They are a hardcore band meaning that there is screaming and intense emotions in this music I chose this mellow song "Some Will Seek Forgiveness Others Escape" as an example of Forgiveness, Putting Christ First, and to show you that the music is not sappy and simple. I also included a harder song called "In Regards To Myself "to not only show you their harder side but the complexcity of the lyrics and how they urge people to confront their evils and seek God's Word for advice.
Pastor Lumsden I present to you another Christian band from Sweden. Blindside. I am using the songs ""Cute Boring Love" about young women chosing chasity and purity over being pressured into sex also I am including a live version of "Time Will Change Your Heart" about forgiveness. When I started this blog that was my intention I always have wanted nothing but Love and Reconcilation with Rachel now the choice is hers. I use the power of my writing, my love of music and my determination and that song is one reason I am still here. I love Rachel with all my heart and if any song is the battlecry for my love for Rachel it is "Time Will Change Your Heart" God is my guide not men and I put my trust in Him in this matter with Rachel and I and nothing you or anyone else can say will make me give up on her. I am including the Lyrics to "Time Will Change Your Heart"so you can see just how complex and beautiful these words on forgiveness are Pastor Lumsden. Also note that in the lyrics he is singing "Ill Be Going Against Your Words, Theres Something Inside of Me" that is how I feel about Rachel something you and other people dont understand. Sometimes in the Reconcilation process God gives one person so much love that they cannot hold it in and that is why I started the blog not to publicly flog Rachel. She has hurt me and I have said hurtful things at times but it is an expression of the hurt I feel not because I hate her. One more thing the singers name is Christian and I had a chance to meet them when they were on tour with Linkin Park about 9yrs ago and I was doing Promotions for LP they are some of the nicest guys ever.
Time Will Change Your Heart by Blindside
With big guns and big ambitions
Never ending arguments
When is your ammunition spent
With big guns you load and shoot me down
With all those pretty words you thought out
Ready to recent
I hope time will change your heart
I'll be coming against your words
With something inside of me
Time will change your heart
I will be waiting at the doorstep of love
The doors wide open for you to see
We laugh about it and we dwell over it
But time flies by, and I'm getting anxious
Forgive me for pushing you
I know you have your own legs to walk with
I guess it's because to me it's so precious
I hope time will change your heart
I'll be coming against your words
With something inside of me
Time will change your heart
I will be waiting at the doorstep of love
The doors wide open for you to see
When there's not much left to say
Words better left unspoken
Let me hear from you
When your heart is broken
I'll wait for you
Pastor Lumsden this is a song by Flyleaf which I have used before called "Beautiful Bride" it is about Christians uniting behind the Body of Christ and instead of fighting amongst ourselves loving each other and those who do not believe and this is where my heart has always been. I have helped promote this band from the start. They just did a charity concert for a passed on member of their crew. They are amazing people and examples of Gods love. They help unify Christians and non believers alike. Best of all singer Lacey was a non believer and at her worst she was brought to Christ. If you think my blog is not touching others then you can read a little more about how much Flyleaf means to me on this blog. It has been used by other Christians around the world on message boards and sights and it made me proud because not only did it show love for one of my favorite bands and Rachel it showed that other Christians saw the love in my blog for Rachel and not the public humiliation that you see. Here is the blog.
http://iloverachelmyatt.blogspot.com/2011/10/how-love-can-change-everythingdedicated.html
I wanted share two more songs with you Pastor Lumsden and my dear Readers. The first is a song by KJ-52 a Christian Hip Hop artist. This was a response to popular Eminem and done as message of love to him it was actually the second song of two but it is called " Dear Slim(To Whom It May Concern): Part 2" It brought tears to my eyes the first time I heard it not because it was a message to Eminem who I think is a great artist for what he does one of the greatest but the fact that a Christian saw his pain and hurt in his songs and wanted to offer God's love as a solution and to me that is not sappy, one sided, one dimensional it is what God wants us to do to reach out to the sick, the wounded, and the hurt
The last song I want to share with you today is "She' by a band called Zoegirl. This song is about a teen girl who gets pregnant and people shun her and put her down. She has people pointing fingers at her and throwing stones and I tried to use this as point to many people of how Rachel is treating and treated me. I loved Rachel unconditionally and many people dont know this was Rachel, a single, out of wedlock, mother and I was willing to love her and her son Jonathan unconditionally both as my own flesh , yet I am judged not only by Rachel who I cared about that much but by Pastor Glenn and Pastor Lumsden and that is what hurts the most. The New Church supposedly teaches about love, charity, forgiveness, and Good and Truth but no one is taking the time to look into neither the Good and Truth of what was and has always been in my heart instead much like in this song stones have been thrown at me, I am the villian, and I am the bad person for believing in God enough and loving Rachel enough to show her not only that I love her but that I was willing to tell my story worldwide to show her that she hurt me and my love for her.
So Pastor Lumsden I am saddened that you think that other Christians love of God through praise and worship is so sappy and unmeaningful. You seem to constantly judge others but want people to take you seriously. You say you do it to protect your culture and your children but you cannot grow when you shun and contantly chastize others. Maybe what I am doing seems crazy and unorthadox to you but I know it is what God wants me to do. It is my coping mechanism to what evil Rachel did to me and it is my way of showing her I love her more than anyone on the world. When my mother died I was at peace with it because I thought I had a loving girlfriend and her family to be there for me but Rachel and the Myatts not only turned their back on me but Rachel used her faith to put me down and belittle me. How is that Christian, loving, or charitiable. God shows us the error of our ways through other people and my reaction to Rachel's unkindness is one that she never expected because in the past she just got away with the evil and people coddled her. I took her to task on things and made a big deal out of it and who are you to say what God wants me to do. You are not me and you do not know what he holds for me so far all you and Pastor Cooper, Glenn, and others have done is judge me and no one wants to put any blame on Rachel it is all the Non New Church guys fault only Rachel can be right no matter what she did because she is of the New Church. That is how all your excuses sound. I urge you to look deep into your heart before you consider other repent. I have asked God for forgiveness for lashing out against Rachel but it did not mean to stop this blog. It is an expression of my unconditional love for Rachel and until Rachel and her family realize that and make peace with me it will be an important part of my life.
God Bless You All
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First of all I want to make this statement. I put the disclaimer up when I started this blog to let people know that I love Rachel. She is my sister in Christ and estranged best friend who I love very much. I hope one day she will realize how much I love her and come back to my heart but until then all I have is pictures, memories, and hope. If I hated Rachel or really wanted to hurt her I would have put this up on Facebook, Myspace or I could have gotten software to increase my blog reads. Instead I let people come here naturally which is a pretty nice figure every month. I sent letters to the New Church around the world because I loved Rachel and I wanted her to see that one person can make a difference and prove to her and her family that I would do anything for her but it was taken the wrong way and even scoffed at by some Pastors. I dont care. I did it out of love and a true seeking of reconcilation. I put up the Youtube page in honor of my love for Rachel and in disgust of how both Pastor Coleman Glenn and Rachel had treated me as a person. I have no regrets and stand by everything I have said on both this blog and on the video song titles. I love Rachel and Jonathan with all my heart it is she who hides from the peace we could have not me! In the next couple of weeks more flyers will go out about and to the New Church. If you dont want that information out there Pastor Lumsden then maybe Rachel should pick up the phone and think about Reconcilation and peace it has been almost 2 years so now I am open to just telling my story everywhere. I gave her a chance, she has had a chance to say she was sorry, to make peace with me, to show me that I meant something to her as a person but instead she continues to be selfish, think of only herself, and prove what I said is right. Its her loss. It wont stop my campaign. What it will do is to force not only Rachel and the Myatts to think about what they did and said but the New Church as a whole to reevaluate how they treat people who are interested in their faith or other Christians in general. I really dont have anything else to say this morning. I just spent 2 hours out of love writing this blog because I love Rachel and I wanted the clergy and laity in the New Church to wake up and realize that I am being serious this is not a joke and I am at a grassroots level slowly taking this story to the world. One person can make a difference. So Rachel can choose to show forgiveness, love, reconciliation, and sincerity or keep living her selfish life, letting others know about what she did, and let the New Church take the fall for her evil and self righteousness. I know in my life everytime I hurt someone I try to make things right and ask for forgiveness not only from God but that person and I go to that person and show them I love them and we are at peace. That is what I am doing here. Rachel wont speak so I brought the fight to her where she cant ignore it because it is the Christian thing to do. She doubted me in taking this to the Church, she thought she could lie and just pretend I didnt exist. I have people waiting all over the place to help me spread what I have to say so both New Church and Rachel think about how it will affect you. I end this blog on this note today.
Rachel Myatt and Myatt Family I am sorry if my blog has caused you any discomfort or humiliation but I love you all no matter what you think of me and this is an expression of my love for Rachel and Jonathan and that will never change.
Dear Heavenly Father,
Bless Rachel, her Family , and her Church and watch over us all. Please help us find a peaceful, loving, and forgiving resolve to all this and may Rachel and I be in each others lives again. I love her with all my heart and that love was instilled by you Oh Lord. Please guide my heart to let go of any evils or ill will and fill it with the joy of Your Spirit and Your Love. I ask blessing on all who read this, all the beautiful musicians you gave a gift to spread your love and most of all I ask that you let Rachel and Jonathan know they are loved by me beyond compare and without Rachel making peace with me then I will continue to hurt because of the true love you gave me for her Lord. Thank you for Your Daily Bread, Your Love, Compassion, and Wisdom. May your gifts shine on every one of Your Children always
AMEN
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