I love you with all my heart and I want peace and reconcilation with you
You like Grace are one of my heroines. I looked up to you, came to you for comfort, I still think the world of you. When I met Grace Earlier this year after being a fan for 7 years she couldnt have been nicer. I was rewarded not only by her smile and a handshake but she was happy to inform me that the "Sun Records" session cd that she is singing on above that I had for her to sign was the first one she ever signed. I was so happy because like most of the people I admire she didnt let me down. Above is a picture of that record that I cherish. There is something more that I cherish and that is you Rachel Myatt you are someone I love and I truly want this to end.
Dear Readers,
Rachel was someone I looked up to. I loved her for her strength, her beauty, I accepted her for all that she was even her faith. I was not raised to judge other people and treat them unkind. I was always taught to see the good in other people who looked or thought different than us. I being an African American male have had to struggle with being judged on a daily basis. I not only get judged by the color of my skin but when I open my mouth and my distinct dialect and the fact that I am cultured comes out then people have to dismiss their stereotypes and preconcieved notions. I never claim to be better than anyone and my father is a country boy who not only served in the military but got two college degrees. I was raised no matter how harsh to believe in yourself and never give up especially on those you love. I want to say this to the Myatt Family. Rachel is the love of my life and everyday I think about her and Jonathan. I never would have started this blog if I didnt love her that much. I may have said somethings that have hurt her on her but I am not sorry for speaking my mind. If I were not a Christian then I would have done worst than start a campaign to tell her I love her and how much she means to me and if any of you thought I wasnt right for her and caused her to treat me in such away because she hesitated when I asked her that then I am sad because I would live and die for her and Jonathan. I am a survivor and a fighter and if you tell me I can't and won't I will. Rachel told me I wouldn't take this to the Church and that is exactly what I did. She doubted my love for her and I have shown how much I love her on a grand scale and if I have embarrased you or somehow tainted your reputation dear Rachel this blog was never meant to do that. It was meant in the beginning to catch your eye and show you that there is one man on this earth that believes in you and would do anything for you and Jonathan. I still love you very much and that will never change. Do you know why I used Grace Potter as an example on this blog today dear readers? I used Grace because I watched a young lady and her band grow from something small to becoming superstars in their own right. They are on tour as one of the opening acts for country superstars Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw, they played Coachella this year two weekends in a row, they have their own festival that they headline in Vermont. http://www.grandpointnorth.com/ She is an amazing young woman who believed in herself and look where it has taken her in life. I saw Rachel's weaknesses, flaws, and self esteem and I loved her beyond that. I have and will continue doing this blog because I love Rachel Myatt. I do not do it to discourage it and the reason why I am doing the campaign and writing the letters about the New Church is 1. To show Rachel that I dont back down on anything I say. If I say I am going to do something and I believe in it then I am going to do it. I believe there is a problem when Church members especially Pastors have such a self righteous and selfish view of life that they have to put down others love of God. They constantly chastize and point out flaws in Catholicism, Protestantism, and in Evangelicals but they act like their is nothing wrong with the selfish pride and arrogance they show is a Church and the World needs to see that in the New Church. So to Pastor Derrick Lumsden there is your answer you could not keep this within the confines of the New Church so I have to bring it to the masses. I came to Rachel, To Pastor Glenn, Pastor Cooper, and numereous others out of love, a Brother in Christ to all, and I have told of my pain worldwide and I am not ashamed of it and I am unabashed in my love for Rachel and Jonathan. 2. I believe God's love guided me to this place and it is not being contradictory to let someone know how bad they hurt you and to want peace with them. What is contradictory Pastor Lumsden is Rachel and others claiming to be part of a faith that believes in peace and reconcilation and not showing any. Rachel is the one who transgressed against me. All I ever did was love her and believe in her and she used her New Church teachings for evil and to put down another man and that is reflection on the Church and if it embarrases her and makes her feel a tainted reputations too bad. I came to her and I tried to work things out with her but she blew me off and just acted like I never existed she played with my love and killed my love so doesn't Swedenborg say this Pastor Lumsden?
Spiritual Experiences 4426.
But as to what concerns the interiors, as to the life of faith, and such things, concerning these we must not judge; [because] the Lord alone knows them. A thousand persons may appear alike in externals, nay, speak alike, and yet be altogether different as to those things, and the ends of each one as to them can never be known; to judge from actions concerning them is to be deceived; besides, many more things which might be adduced. I spoke with spirits, that it is altogether another kingdom in the other life: another form of government, another [principle of] government, other laws, nay, other wars, to wit, against evils, and infernal [spirits], and other consociations which are according to the interior ends of the life; these never appear before others in the life of the body, wherefore we are not to judge concerning them. From much experience it is known to me, that [many of] those concerning whom the world has judged evil, as to their interiors, are among the blessed, and on the other hand, that [many of] those of whom men have judged well, are among the unhappy.
Rachel took it upon herself to judge not only my Spiritual State but my mental state, the state of a grieving person? How was that kind and loving Pastors, Lumsden, Glenn, and Cooper. You see why I am writing the essays and sharing them with others? You seem to want others to live by your set of rules and if someone in your fold does something wrong or does evil it is ok because the person who is not in the New Church is always the one at fault. That is why I am doing what I am doing? Did anyone ever stop to read my blog and see that I loved and still love Rachel and all I went through to be with her. Not to mention the fact that I have exposed my secrets things that I have never told anyone till now all over the internet because I love Rachel. It just seems that the Church of the New Jerusalem doesnt want to look inward and accept that they have evil going on but yet they point out what they percieve to be wrong with everyone else. Does it not say in the Bible?
Matthew 7:3-5
3 “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 4 How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.
I found an interesting perspective on this Scripture from a Swedenborg Church Reverend Rachel Rivers
"I'll tell you one way I do it. I don't know the people who did these terrible things. But I know that they were once little babies, innocent little babies--and I am able to love every little baby. This is one way I can summon that love. And I know that God doesn't give up on any of us. No matter how bad an act we commit, God never gives up on any of us. Inside of everyone there is always at least a spark of goodness; and we can love that goodness in somebody even when we can't see it. We can believe and trust that it is there. And that's what "love your enemies" means. It means love the good that is within them, even if that is a goodness you cannot see.
There is one more thing we must do--and perhaps it is the hardest one to say right now. In order to stamp out evil, we must see it inside ourselves, as individuals and as a nation. We must recognize the ways we contribute to evil. You know the saying: we need to see the plank in our own eye as well as the splinter in the other's eye (Matthew 7:3-5). There is no justification for what occurred; absolutely none. That's not what I'm talking about. But for healing to happen, for peace to happen between any groups of people, we need to each recognize our part, whether big or small. Do you know what I mean by that? This is the trickiest one of all.
Yes, beginning to understand our enemy. It doesn't make them right in any way; but peace can't happen without beginning to understand how the things we say or do, or how we act or don't act, contributes to pain and suffering in this world. And then we must find a way to begin to turn that around."
None of you people in the New Church want to understand me. You think I am lashing out just to get revenge or to make Rachel feel bad for what she has done. That is the complete opposite. I just wanted Rachel and her family to know that I love her more than anyone in the world and that I would go to the ends of the earth to show her and Jonathan that. I have never given up on them and though most people see what I am doing as good and loving the New Church doesnt want to see any of the love they see it as an attack on their faith but if you read their replies and they way I am treated it is all about Rachel's free will. It is as she did no wrong. They dont want to accept that she did evil and she transgressed or that they themselves could transgress or be committing evil acts in judging me. I have nothing but love for all my brothers and sisters of the earth especially those who share my love of Christ. Why then is is so hard for Rachel to pick up the phone and reconcile with someone who loves her and who she hurt deeply? Probably because she knows how bad what she did and said was and she is embarrased by my blog. I did this blog because you were my best friend Rachel because you wouldnt come to me in private so I was led by God to let you know publicly. Pastor Lumsden said I was contradictory and was wrong claiming God called me to do something like this. What does he know of my Love of God and what God has in store for me? See there is the problem I have with these Pastors in the New Church they think they know what others are supposed to do and if it doesnt slant to their narrow world view than it is not of God. I am sorry but God is the reason I didnt seek a swift vengeful retaliation on Rachel. He has given my the power of writing, music, and love to let her know and other know worldwide and if you cant see the beauty in that Church of the New Jerusalem you are missing the whole point.
Swedenborg explains that you are not to judge the spiritual states of others yet Rachel and some of these Pastors in the New Church continue to claim to know what is in my heart and that what I am doing is not of love. Rachel told me I did not love God and that was the most evil thing anyone has ever done to me even more evil than being molested. So I share with you this.
Arcana Coelestia 4633
From what has now been said on the subject of perceptions and odors, it is manifest that in the other life everyone's life, and consequently everyone's affection, is in plain view; and therefore anyone who believes that his previous character, and the consequent quality of his life, is unknown there, or that he can there hide his disposition as in this world, is much mistaken. Moreover, not only are those things seen there which a man has known about himself, but also those which he has not known, namely, such things as by frequent practice he has at last immersed in the delights of life, so as to cause them to disappear from his sight and reflection. The very ends of his thought, of his speech, and of his actions, which from a like cause have become hidden from him, are most plainly perceived in heaven, for heaven is in the sphere and perception of ends.
Arcana Coelestia 6214
How difficult it is for man to believe that spirits know his thoughts, was made evident to me by the following circumstance. Before I spoke with spirits it happened that a certain spirit said a few words to me about that of which I was thinking. It amazed me that a spirit should know this; because I supposed that such things were hidden, and known only to God. Afterward, when I began to speak with spirits, I was indignant that I could not think anything that they did not know, and because this would be troublesome to me. But after I had been accustomed to it for a few days it became familiar to me. At last I found that spirits not only perceive all things of man's thought and will, but also many more things than the man himself perceives; and that the angels perceive still more, namely the intentions and ends, from the first through the middle to the last; and that the Lord knows not only the quality of the whole man, but also what his quality will be to eternity. From this it is evident that nothing whatever is hidden; but that what a man inwardly thinks and plots is in the other life made manifest as in clear day.
You can continue to judge me, put me down, and not see with your eyes or your heart the good in me. Rachel can ignore the call for reconciliation and that I was someone that loved her and was loyal to her. I can go on spreading what I have to tell and if that is they way you want it that is fine. I always thought of Rachel of being stronger, braver, and someone with more substance than she is showing now, that is why I fell in love with her. She is only showing now that she is contradictory to the love that the New Church teaches and that also applies to all the Pastors and Reverends who have judged me.
I will end on this first I want to thank Grace Potter for her beautiful music and may God always bless her and her path in life. If you ever read this it is a celebration of my love for Rachel and you have always been part of that. I want to dedicate your song about forgiveness "Big White Gate" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4VSQBZqCuw&feature=related to all those who are holding grudges against loved ones whether it be Parents, Siblings, Ex Spouses, Boyfriend or Girlfriends, or Friends. Please lay down your arms and forgive and Reconcile. Life is too short for that and the person who is reaching out to make peace with you most of the time truly loves you if you deny them that then you are not showing God's love.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I ask for forgivness for anything I have done to hurt Rachel, the Myatt Family, Pastor Coleman, or the New Church. I know that only Rachel can decide if she wants to show love and reconcile but I ask that you let her know I love her and I have never stopped loving her and Jonathan and I miss them in my life. I ask for your guidance in continuing to love these people even if they ignore me and take my attempts at loving them as misguided and misdirected. I love them all even if they dont love me. Please let my mother know I love her and how hard it has been without her here. Thank you for blessing people like Grace Potter with a voice that invokes love and strength in people because when things were at their lowest it helped me get through the hard times. Thank you for the daily bread, the shelter, the love you give us and each breath we take. Thank you most of all for letting me love Rachel Myatt. Your Love is and never will be a mistake so I will continue to love Rachel through you and believe in your design, purpose, and love.
Amen
Rachel Myatt was my best friend, the woman I finally shared all my secrets with, I loved and still love her unconditionally. You were my Heroine Rachel I wish you knew how much I love you.
You said I deserved to be loved and was glad I wanted it to be your love Rachel. I have that proof then you turned your back on me, you made fun of all the secrets and personal things I shared with you and put me down. I ask the Church of the New Jerusalem how is that loving and how is me seeking reconcilation and loving Rachel bad and Rachel sitting back ignoring and being cruel loving at all? I want you all to think about that especially Pastor Derrick Lumsden and Pastor Coleman Glenn?
I found an interesting perspective on this Scripture from a Swedenborg Church Reverend Rachel Rivers
"I'll tell you one way I do it. I don't know the people who did these terrible things. But I know that they were once little babies, innocent little babies--and I am able to love every little baby. This is one way I can summon that love. And I know that God doesn't give up on any of us. No matter how bad an act we commit, God never gives up on any of us. Inside of everyone there is always at least a spark of goodness; and we can love that goodness in somebody even when we can't see it. We can believe and trust that it is there. And that's what "love your enemies" means. It means love the good that is within them, even if that is a goodness you cannot see.
There is one more thing we must do--and perhaps it is the hardest one to say right now. In order to stamp out evil, we must see it inside ourselves, as individuals and as a nation. We must recognize the ways we contribute to evil. You know the saying: we need to see the plank in our own eye as well as the splinter in the other's eye (Matthew 7:3-5). There is no justification for what occurred; absolutely none. That's not what I'm talking about. But for healing to happen, for peace to happen between any groups of people, we need to each recognize our part, whether big or small. Do you know what I mean by that? This is the trickiest one of all.
Yes, beginning to understand our enemy. It doesn't make them right in any way; but peace can't happen without beginning to understand how the things we say or do, or how we act or don't act, contributes to pain and suffering in this world. And then we must find a way to begin to turn that around."
None of you people in the New Church want to understand me. You think I am lashing out just to get revenge or to make Rachel feel bad for what she has done. That is the complete opposite. I just wanted Rachel and her family to know that I love her more than anyone in the world and that I would go to the ends of the earth to show her and Jonathan that. I have never given up on them and though most people see what I am doing as good and loving the New Church doesnt want to see any of the love they see it as an attack on their faith but if you read their replies and they way I am treated it is all about Rachel's free will. It is as she did no wrong. They dont want to accept that she did evil and she transgressed or that they themselves could transgress or be committing evil acts in judging me. I have nothing but love for all my brothers and sisters of the earth especially those who share my love of Christ. Why then is is so hard for Rachel to pick up the phone and reconcile with someone who loves her and who she hurt deeply? Probably because she knows how bad what she did and said was and she is embarrased by my blog. I did this blog because you were my best friend Rachel because you wouldnt come to me in private so I was led by God to let you know publicly. Pastor Lumsden said I was contradictory and was wrong claiming God called me to do something like this. What does he know of my Love of God and what God has in store for me? See there is the problem I have with these Pastors in the New Church they think they know what others are supposed to do and if it doesnt slant to their narrow world view than it is not of God. I am sorry but God is the reason I didnt seek a swift vengeful retaliation on Rachel. He has given my the power of writing, music, and love to let her know and other know worldwide and if you cant see the beauty in that Church of the New Jerusalem you are missing the whole point.
Swedenborg explains that you are not to judge the spiritual states of others yet Rachel and some of these Pastors in the New Church continue to claim to know what is in my heart and that what I am doing is not of love. Rachel told me I did not love God and that was the most evil thing anyone has ever done to me even more evil than being molested. So I share with you this.
Arcana Coelestia 4633
From what has now been said on the subject of perceptions and odors, it is manifest that in the other life everyone's life, and consequently everyone's affection, is in plain view; and therefore anyone who believes that his previous character, and the consequent quality of his life, is unknown there, or that he can there hide his disposition as in this world, is much mistaken. Moreover, not only are those things seen there which a man has known about himself, but also those which he has not known, namely, such things as by frequent practice he has at last immersed in the delights of life, so as to cause them to disappear from his sight and reflection. The very ends of his thought, of his speech, and of his actions, which from a like cause have become hidden from him, are most plainly perceived in heaven, for heaven is in the sphere and perception of ends.
Arcana Coelestia 6214
How difficult it is for man to believe that spirits know his thoughts, was made evident to me by the following circumstance. Before I spoke with spirits it happened that a certain spirit said a few words to me about that of which I was thinking. It amazed me that a spirit should know this; because I supposed that such things were hidden, and known only to God. Afterward, when I began to speak with spirits, I was indignant that I could not think anything that they did not know, and because this would be troublesome to me. But after I had been accustomed to it for a few days it became familiar to me. At last I found that spirits not only perceive all things of man's thought and will, but also many more things than the man himself perceives; and that the angels perceive still more, namely the intentions and ends, from the first through the middle to the last; and that the Lord knows not only the quality of the whole man, but also what his quality will be to eternity. From this it is evident that nothing whatever is hidden; but that what a man inwardly thinks and plots is in the other life made manifest as in clear day.
You can continue to judge me, put me down, and not see with your eyes or your heart the good in me. Rachel can ignore the call for reconciliation and that I was someone that loved her and was loyal to her. I can go on spreading what I have to tell and if that is they way you want it that is fine. I always thought of Rachel of being stronger, braver, and someone with more substance than she is showing now, that is why I fell in love with her. She is only showing now that she is contradictory to the love that the New Church teaches and that also applies to all the Pastors and Reverends who have judged me.
I will end on this first I want to thank Grace Potter for her beautiful music and may God always bless her and her path in life. If you ever read this it is a celebration of my love for Rachel and you have always been part of that. I want to dedicate your song about forgiveness "Big White Gate" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4VSQBZqCuw&feature=related to all those who are holding grudges against loved ones whether it be Parents, Siblings, Ex Spouses, Boyfriend or Girlfriends, or Friends. Please lay down your arms and forgive and Reconcile. Life is too short for that and the person who is reaching out to make peace with you most of the time truly loves you if you deny them that then you are not showing God's love.
Dear Heavenly Father,
I ask for forgivness for anything I have done to hurt Rachel, the Myatt Family, Pastor Coleman, or the New Church. I know that only Rachel can decide if she wants to show love and reconcile but I ask that you let her know I love her and I have never stopped loving her and Jonathan and I miss them in my life. I ask for your guidance in continuing to love these people even if they ignore me and take my attempts at loving them as misguided and misdirected. I love them all even if they dont love me. Please let my mother know I love her and how hard it has been without her here. Thank you for blessing people like Grace Potter with a voice that invokes love and strength in people because when things were at their lowest it helped me get through the hard times. Thank you for the daily bread, the shelter, the love you give us and each breath we take. Thank you most of all for letting me love Rachel Myatt. Your Love is and never will be a mistake so I will continue to love Rachel through you and believe in your design, purpose, and love.
Amen
Rachel Myatt was my best friend, the woman I finally shared all my secrets with, I loved and still love her unconditionally. You were my Heroine Rachel I wish you knew how much I love you.
You said I deserved to be loved and was glad I wanted it to be your love Rachel. I have that proof then you turned your back on me, you made fun of all the secrets and personal things I shared with you and put me down. I ask the Church of the New Jerusalem how is that loving and how is me seeking reconcilation and loving Rachel bad and Rachel sitting back ignoring and being cruel loving at all? I want you all to think about that especially Pastor Derrick Lumsden and Pastor Coleman Glenn?
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