Why Rachel Is Reaping What She Sowed/ Judging Others(Great Expectations) - The Last Violins

• When I was a young boy from the time I was 12 until the show ended I watched Degrassi Junior High and High School in its entirety I own them on DVD but this episode was always dear to me.  I wonder how Rachel felt when she got pregnant and her baby's daddy got two other girls pregnant at the same time.  She always made me suffer because of what he did and because he didnt want to stay with her and love her and chose one of the other ladies eventually.  She constantly judged me on things that she had no idea that I had to endure or what my life was like.  Me on the other hand I never cared that Jonathan had a father but that in addition to the love of his father I would love him as my own.  I never cared that Rachel had a child out of wedlock and never tried to judge her yet she decided I was damaged, mentally ill, and too different to deserve to be loved and she was justified in treating me this way.  People of the Church of the New Jerusalem this week I am calling your sister Rachel out and I am calling the Church of the New Jerusalem out.  My campaign is about accepting others and Christ call to love not about slandering Rachel or the New Church.  I urge you to change your ways to be more loving and accepting and listen to your earthly brothers and sisters of all creeds, denominations, and backgrounds. In the Degrassi saga Spike was always my favorite character because I could relate to her and Liz being the outcast. Spike was always kind to others despite how cruel others could be to her at times.  When Degrassi the Next Generation came out and Emma her daughter was one of the main characters she was the same kind of person as a mother often taking in Emma's friend Manny when things were bad at home for her and treating her like a second child.   I could also relate with Liz later in the series being sexually abused and shying away from Tim because he had a crush on her.  What hurts the most about Rachel treating me like she did is I gave her my body which is something sacred and beautiful to me and she played with that and myh love like it was a game.  People who are abused are rarely trusting and sometimes it takes years. I trusted Rachel with all my heart and to her it was just a joke.  I ask that you watch this full episode of Degrassi Jr High and then think about how much I truly love Rachel and her family despite them passing judgment on me.  God Bless ALL
  
  None of the information in this blog is meant to embarrass or humiliate Rachel but to inform, contrast, and compare to the treatment that was given to me by herself and her family.  I have nothing but love for them all.
  
  
  
  
  From Proverbs 16 1-916 To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.
  ² All a person’s ways seem pure to them,
  but motives are weighed by the Lord.
  ³ Commit to the Lord whatever you do,
  and he will establish your plans.
  ⁴ The Lord works out everything to its proper end—
  even the wicked for a day of disaster.
  ⁵ The Lord detests all the proud of heart.
  Be sure of this: They will not go unpunished.
  ⁶ Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for;
  through the fear of the Lord evil is avoided.
  ⁷ When the Lord takes pleasure in anyone’s way,
  he causes their enemies to make peace with them.
  ⁸ Better a little with righteousness
  than much gain with injustice.
  ⁹ In their hearts humans plan their course,
  but the Lord establishes their steps.
  
  
  
  
  
  
  No matter how upset I have been I have never loved you any less than I said I did Rachel Myatt.  I still love you with all my heart.
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  I wrote this a couple of days before Rachel Myatt came into my life in 2010 and stole my heart. I never felt pity on myself for being alone.  I wanted to be married and in a committed relationship and for 5yrs after my ex died of a brain tumor I waited on God.  I loved Rachel with all my heart and this blog was meant to show her and her family that I would fight till the end to show her how much I loved her.  If Rachel truly knew what I felt and what I had to go through she never would have said or treated me the way she did and neither would some of these New Church Pastors but this old blog from February 2010 days before Rachel came into my life  was a window into waiting on God, into Celibacy, and to believing in Rachel.
  
  

  The Last Violins

  Everyday I take the stage and perform the best show I can
  The curtain calls the lights go on and here I stand a broken man
  They don't seem to understand looking in from the crowd
  I never wanted more than love and it seems so distant now
  Finally the music plays the only friend I have
  I hear the strings in the distance and the voices start to pass
  Honesty the best policy but that will only bring you heartache
  The best of friends is what I am but that is all I have to give
  I thought I was put on earth to become so much more
  A solemn shell of discontent because I'm standing with my foot in the door
  She will never see me, Neither will she care
  I'm just another collected prize to pass the time when he is not there
  I listen to her stories, I listen to her pain, I listen to music dreaming of she and I dancing in the rain
  I long ago gave up on such enchantments 5 years left till I am too damn old
  To recognize those teenage dreams of being with someone to hold
  The friend in need, the friend with deeds, second class human being for hire
  I have a spark, I have a heart, but no one wants to ignite the fire
  I want to live the good life, where I am wanted, loved, and adored
  It seems I get the wrong attention I'm just a fairweather friends whore
  An alternative for lonely nights when others have nothing to do
  Here I sit with a flashing screen, a book, a pen, and solace in this lonely room
  I used to know desolation, depression, and despair
  Now I know what it feels like to be seen but not be there
  She tried to apologize the other day 6 months after the fact
  I loved you but I said I'm sorry and that I could never want that friendship back
  When will they learn I am a simple man. I just wanted to be loved
  I don't want to be your alternative, I don't want to be your quick fix or drug
  For most of you I would do anything but you wouldn't move an inch for me
  Women can't see the insides of me they make a spectacle of the outside first
  If I were a gambling man I bet they will never take the time to see past
  The fact that I am wonderful, incredible, and full of laughs
  Always an excuse but its no use. I will keep walking this lonely road
  Another show, Another song, Another broken heart alone
  Someday I might be more to them than just a footnote or some to pass the time
  At the end of the day I wanted a friend that I could truly call all mine
  I won't ever be possessive, but I won't ever want for her time
  She will be there when I need her, To me she will never lie
  I will be a positive force in her life as she will be in mine
  The clock stands still and we can talk for hours about the best reason or rhyme
  I will never have to worry about another her or him
  I could be supposed that our love would be self imposed and mutual at last
  Never been a friend of convenience I have never been a friend to chance
  What I have been is a star crossed dreamer who believes in the power of integrity, honesty, and romance
  The crowd all starts to cheer as I bow and wave to them
  The curtain closes I have nothing left to say
  You just heard The Last Violins.................................