This song is probably to me Brian Warner aka Marilyn Manson's Defining Moment as a Musician. "The Reflecting God" I have blogged about this before but this morning it has more meaning and clarity than ever" Swedenborg wanted you to embrace the Evil and Twist the Good in your life. Pastor Glenn already expounded on that in his "Lesser Evil" sermon "The Swedenborgian Church of North American just comes right out and says it on their website.
- "Welcome to a church where you hear an optimistic message.
- I guess then it is ok for me to act on my impulses and evil just like Rachel did and not care about anyone elses feelings, livelihood or where my choice may lead if I do things. That is the Swedenborgian way. Though Manson borrowes heavily from Fredrich Nietzsche in this song I can also see how it can fit into Swedenborg's scheme of things. Rachel was raised from birth to be so selfish and so self serving that to people outside the Church of the New Jerusalem she is cruel and unkind. She only felt she had to be a certain way around family and members of the Church but to anyone on the outside they would never be able to love her and her family would never give anyone a chance because of the religious upbringing. So I am going to tell you a quick little story and then I am going to let the Rachel, The Myatts, Pastor Glenn and the New Church in on some things.
- Why I No Longer Care About Rachel, The Myatts, Or Pastor Glenn's Feelings, Reputation, Or Well Being.
I was getting gas the other day and usually I am pretty nice to homeless people and people on the street but I have finally had enough of being kind. There comes a breaking point where you are tired of being taken advantage of, you are tired of giving of yourself, and you are tired of being kind and nice and that time is now. A young lady, a black lady I might ad walked up to my car from the street and knocked on the window most of the time I will engage people and pull out $5 dollars or whatever change I have as I did last week for a homeless man but I looked at her and told her to go away. I didnt care. I have stopped caring. I was so angry and I shouldnt I feel guilty. No I didn't make her live the life she lives, I dont judge where she has been or where she is going but its not my problem anymore. When I reach out for help or love no one is ever there they make excuses lie and treat me like dirt so its my turn. She looked to be an addict of some sorts. I didnt put the drugs in her veins so I dont care. Then I selfishly went and bought a $300 dollar IPOD. I don't know how she got there but most of the time in my life I don't judge people. Its time to start since all people do is judge me. This next selection of words is solely aimed at Rachel Myatt, The Myatt Family, and Pastor Glenn and the New Church. How dare you treat me the way you did Rachel. I did nothing but love you, believe in you and care about you and for you to ever say the things you did about me. Well you know what I am just going to come out and say it you and your family are very shitty, uncaring, and selfish people. Pastor Glenn so are you. You look around at all the children, blessings, and love you have and why would you not understand how Rachel playing with my dream to be a father, even a stepfather to Jonathan, a husband, and just being loved would be important to me. That was my dream and I wanted to share that with Rachel and with such reckless abandon it meant nothing to her. It was like I was just a game. So fuck you all. Yes I am to that point. I will say this also. Rachel better be in for a rude awakening because not only will she feel the wrath of my writings but it will affect her family, her Church, and her Pastor. I am through wearing kid gloves and for the next couple of months I am spreading my newletters about the situation worldwide hundreds of Churches of all faiths each week with no regard to anyones feelings. I dont care about any of you because when I cared about you, when I needed a friend, when I needed love and understanding... You kicked me down, ignored, me and laughed at me. Fuck all of you hypocritical people. When I reached out to make peace with you , you made excuses and Pastor Glenn carries on a relationship sort of like the one I had with Rachel but was just as pious and freaking deceptive and two faced as any I wish well but you never tried to see any good in what I was doing so I am not holding back on what I have to say about you. Get a lawyer, sue me, screw me over some more I am done caring. Nothing short of an apology will ever do now. I was kind, I was patient, and I truly loved Rachel and Jonathan and the way Rachel treated me was detestable and for you people to think I was just supposed to at my time of grief to just lay down forget about everything and act like nothing ever happened was even more fucked up. So you know what fuck you all. I tried to be the good Christian. I tried to see some of your point of view but I no longer do not in the good way. I want to use your self serving evil doctrine to put you out there to millions now. I dont care if Rachel has to hide for the rest of her life, change her name, never post anything up on the internet again. She made that choice to be cruel to me, she made that choice in treating me cold, calcualting, and laughing at my pain. You reap what you sow. I tried for 2 years to make things right so now fuck her and the horse she rode in on. I used to believe in people and believe in good but after the Myatt family acted the way they did toward me well I dont anymore. How dare you be condescending and judgmental and whoever in that family said something about me being mentally ill I hope one day the closest person dies to you and you suffer and grieve like there is not tomorrow because even in my grieving of my mother I still loved Rachel and Jonathan so much that I never let my mom dying stop me from being with her. My love was unconditional but now its down to conditions so all of you only have yourself to blame. The printed word and the internet is my weapon and you cant bring me down. I have already told my story to so many and you all just make yourselves witness for your Church each time someone reads my blog or my newsletter. Call me nihilistic or whatever but I just dont care any more about any of you. When I did care all you did was make excuses. I never needed anyone to be happy but when you messed with my one dream and played with my happiness when I needed friends, love, and family around then hypocritically made fun of me and mocked me. Damn you all to hell the bloody lot of you buggers. The funny thing is that is this blog was taken down I would work double time printing more newsletters. I want Rachel to see that there is consequences for lying, for playing with peoples lives, for being deceptive and for using God as a means to hurt people. I have one thing left to say and its not God bless
"Good Night and Good Luck"
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