Product of Your Enviroment/ Become What You Are! (It is ok to be different)

Dear Readers,
Even the people who seem the most unlikely to look to Christ for guidance turn to Him for answers.  I wanted to start off this blog with the song "So Many Tears" by Tupac Shakur.  He was a very intelligent man and I wanted to use him as an example of people being different and becoming something more than people give them credit for. 

Rachel Myatt mean the world to me and though our backgrounds were different religiously, ethnically, and in a lot of other ways I loved her and her son Jonathan with all my heart and I still do.  God didnt put us on this earth to seperate ourselves, find divide, and fight with people.  He put us on this earth to love and gave of Himself through His sacrifice so that we may walk in His example.   So Byron why are you using 2Pac as an example after all the bad things he did in life.  I wanted to use him as an example because he is one of the closest examples I can give to show you how I feel and how Rachel and the Myatt family made me feel acting like they cared about me and then abandoning me when I needed love and compassion the most. 

Tupac believed in God and even though he led a less than honorable life he always asked God for help.  Help from the sins he committed, help from his transgressions, help to see the good in other people.  I know from being a poor black kid it is not always easy to see the good.  I know what its like to be chased home by drug dealers, shot at,  put in situations of gang violence and I was severely hassled and beat up all this by age 13.  I never succumbed to it though.  I kept my head in my books, I was alone alot at school because I was a misfit.  Other black kids hated me because I was different and white kids hated me because I was different.  I had to be different just to stay alive or not get beat up as much half the time.  I was what you call a nerd.  I had thick glasses the kind you could burn ants with.  I barely had any clothes,  sometimes I had to starve because we had no money to eat.  I spent many days holed up in corners or the library wishing that I had friends and wishing people could just love me for me.  Sometimes I thought if I gave in and sold drugs or became part of the in crowd maybe things would be better for me.  I endured all that for years.  I was given a nickname that was horrible and I wont even repeat it on this blog from the time I was in 7th grade till 12th grade.  No one ever called me by my real name. Someone made up a fake story about me on the first day of 7th grade I was 12yrs old and by the first week it spread and I was the laughing stock.  No girls wanted to be around me.  People starred and laughed.  I never had a date to the dances or any school functions.  I even went to prom alone.   I had every chance to get revenge on the people that hurt me but instead I showed love.  I would do nice things for others even if they ridiculed me.  If someone else was hungry and I had the money I would give them my lunch money and starve since I was so used to it. My mom was a Jehovah's Witness so I had to go door to door with her and pass out magazines people made more fun of me and told me how much more they hated me for that.  I learned at an early age about Religious Bigotry and Intolerance.  I came to Rachel with an open heart and open mind about her religion and that is what hurt the most she and Pastor Glenn turned me away. Not knowing what I had been through and being so self righteous and cruel to me at a time when I needed encouragement and love. Needless to say through all of this I have continued to love people and put up the good fight. We all have good and evil to contend with.  I believe Tupac was a good person. If you watch how much he loved books, poetry, and music you would see how intelligent and well thought out he was.  He was a fan of the arts, loved Shakespeare, and dancing.  He wrote books of poetry in addition to his music that were inspiring and captivating.  Alas sometimes the enviroment you grow up in and how people treat you make you nihilistic and numb to the point where you dont care.  I am becoming that way about my love for Rachel.  I could have done something so evil, so hateful, and so uncaring months ago that would have made Rachel want to keep her tail between her legs for years but no I am spreading my message of love, reconcilation,  and forgiveness.   Pastor Glenn could learn alot as a Pastor from just taking people at face value instead of trying to impose his belief system on everyone and just listen to what others have to say.  I have noticed that some people in the New Church are one sided and only want their voice to be heard.  It was never like that with myself in speaking to Rachel. I told her how I was brought up with two Protestant parents one who converted to another religion that I dealt with also.  I told her that I had studied  Swedenborg's Heaven and Hell in Philosophy in College along with Thomas Locke and that I understood some of the context and points he was trying to get across.  I never said anything hateful about her faith but she did about mine.  You keep trying to prove your points and make yourself right Rachel and Pastor Glenn and that is not what life is about.  Life is about living, learning, and loving and when you come at people with such a biased worldview especially to someone who is open to learning then it is you who are close minded, biased, and showing Christ example of love.   This whole blog started as a way to show Rachel that I loved her and Jonathan to no end but it evolved into something so much more.  I have readers from all around the world and its because people see the good in what I have to say.  Other people have used my blog on their websites to show Christian love so Rachel, Myatt Family, Pastor Glenn, and Church of New Jerusalem you are only making a bad example for yourself when you dont reach out to me.  I am thankful for all the New Church people who did reach out to me but they are not the transgressors.  The true transgressors are Rachel Myatt and Pastor Glenn and I got tired of the emails with Pastor Glenn because they were so biased and uncaring and until it looked like I was going to die which was not the case I dont think he really understood where I was coming from it was always New Church this, New Church that, how about Pastor we are all God's children we can agree to disagree but not lie to each others, step on each others toes, and put others down especially grieving people like Rachel and her Family did to me.  It was so ridiculous and hurtful but I am still here.  I still believe somewhere there is good in people.  I believe that maybe soon Rachel will pick up the phone and realize that someone loves her so much that she will make amends with me and we reconcile but until then I will continue to fight this battle, campaign, and show that God is the only person I have to answer to.  I fear only God,  but I respect and love Him. I dont put my humanity over His Word like some of the people in the New Church seem to do and use free will as an open invitation to sin and hurt others.   I dont fear death I welcome it with open arms.  I no longer care what barbs, insults, and ridicule I get because after what Rachel did and said I am like Kryptonite.  Nothing hurts anymore its all numb.  I have so much love for you Rachel and her family but they cant lay down their arms and just see the beauty of what God put before them.  They want to pretend like I dont exist but everyday my presence grows stronger and your resistance grows weaker.


"Rather Be Forgotten Than Remembered For Giving In"
Refused from the song SummerholidaysvsPunkroutine 

2 Corinthians 5:10-12

¹⁰ For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each of us may receive what is due us for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad.

The Ministry of Reconciliation

¹¹ Since, then, we know what it is to fear the Lord, we try to persuade others. What we are is plain to God, and I hope it is also plain to your conscience. ¹² We are not trying to commend ourselves to you again, but are giving you an opportunity to take pride in us, so that you can answer those who take pride in what is seen rather than in what is in the heart.


God Bless ALL