Look Back And Laugh : How I Treat The Ones I Truly Love

Dear Rachel and Readers,
"Look Back In Laugh"by Minor Threat was one of my favorite songs as a preteen and teenager. My premise being is that even when me or one of my friends had a falling out we always made up and to this day most of those people are still my friends.  Also this song was on the album "Out Of Step" if you carefully examine it carefully there is a black sheep running from the rest of the herd.  I knew from an early age I knew I was different and didnt fit.  I thought as an adult it would be easier to have relationships and make friends and people would be less pompous, arrogant, and less judgmental.  It seems I was wrong.  One day I would like to be laughing with Rachel Myatt and laugh about this whole situation.  I do still love her and Jonathan very much and I do believe in them.

I want to make this point clear about how much I love Rachel and so that she and her family know why I am doing this.  I want to direct this to Rachel's sisters Jessica and Rebecca since you are married.  A man came along and loved you and swept you off your feet and you married him. A man believed in you and you believed in him but most of all you put your trust in God.  With Rachel that is how I felt. I felt I could give her my all, tell her my secrets, and we were best friends.  Not a day goes buy when I dont miss her or wish I could hold her and Jonathan.  The day I left Canada was the day all I wanted was to come back and be with them again.  I would have a month later and I would have given Rachel a slow patient courtship but she let voices around her talk and not give me that chance.  Sure I was a little under the weather but I had just lost a parent.  I was having the best time with Rachel and her family even if I didnt smile much.  I was hurting inside.  I really missed my mom and seeing Rachel and Jane and Jonathan and everyone together made me really sad.  If you could understand all the tears welled up behind my eyes and how much I needed you Rachel then you will understand not only why I came at that time but why I came.  I was in love and still am to this day with you Rachel Myatt.  I wanted to be with you in Jonathan in fact there is still no other woman I think about being with the way I wanted to be with you two , Rachel.  I wanted a family with you and only you.  God led me to Dawson Creek,  he taught me about hurt, betrayal, deciet, true love, triumph over tragedy, and patiencce.  I love you Rachel and Jonathan with all my heart.

I dont do any of this to hurt you or your family Rachel.  I do this because I love all of you and I still believe that you will accept me and you will take me back in your life.  Forgive me like I have forgiven you.  Make my mothers blessing to you dear Myatts worthwhile.  Show that the bonds of Christ love transcend silly religious boundaries, squabbles,  and arguments and that we can love each other again and all the people who read this blog can see a happy ending and see two friends who love each other take all the hurt and all the pain and put it aside to go back to a beautiful place.  I believe in you Rachel Myatt. I love you and Jonathan with all my heart and I will never give up on that. 

The First time I told you I was in love with you it was God and this song and I shared with you.  I will never stop believing in You.  My Rae Rae I will always love you. "God Makes No Mistakes".