Dear Readers,
Above is the first almost 20:00 minutes of the film based on the hit novel White Oleander by Janet Fitch. It tells the story of Astrid Magnussen and how her mother Ingrid Magnussen influences her after she murders her boyfriend and is sentenced to 35 to life, thus Ingrid begins her trip through the Foster Parent system.
I want to make things clear why I am using these movie clips and and this particular movie. Rachel and some of her sisters are Foster Mothers. I could not believe how she treated me as I believed she was nuturing and caring but I found out she was cold and calculating much as Ingrid the mother in the is in the book and movie. Rachel was my best friend I believed in her and her family and at a time when my mother had just passed away my girlfriend and her family meant everything to me. All I had here at home was my brother and my father who I am not close to. I still am not close to my father but he is very sick and I have been watching over him the past year or so. Soon I may not have either parent but no one could ever say I didnt do the right thing or show love even to the parent who abused me and did not treat me well. I tried to explain to Rachel and her mother Jane about being abused and they took that as me being mentally ill. I was just telling a story that was an essential part of who I become. In fact sometimes I am glad my father was so cruel to me and my mother because one I learned how to love women better by not following in his footsteps and seeing my mother hurt by his behavior all the time.
Rachel if you or Jessica are reading this then you need to know one thing. I love Rachel with all my heart and what I am about to say is from the deepest regions of my heart and as Foster Mothers you should know. Rachel and Jonathan were the loves of my life and all I ever wanted to do was raise a big family with Rachel. Whether the children were my blood children or they were Jonathan who I would have raised like my own flesh and blood Rachel was the woman I wanted a family with. There was and has been no one else as I have only desired to marry one other person in my 37 years on this planet. God has instilled a love in me much greater than you or your family could know and after the years of abuse, lies, and let downs I had in life. With Rachel I finally felt that I had purpose, design, and love and I wanted to love all the Myatts and Friesens and through my mother dying when she did she gave me her love and freedom to finally go achieve my dream. I always stayed close to my mom because I knew she was sick afraid to truly just leave but I was free to be with Rachel and Rachel never understood that. She never understood how special she and Jonathan were to me. All the scars, the false I love you's from other women. All the hurt and pain of rejection when other women passed my heart along felt like a child being passed through the system without a forever family. I want the Myatts and Friesens and anyone that reads this to know that with Rachel I finally felt like I was home. Through my hurt as a teen and early 20s I could have turned to the bottle, drugs, I could have womanized and treated woman as an object but I chose to be a straight edge Christian. I could have gotten revenge on all those women who hurt me by sleeping with multiple women but I saved myself for Rachel in the end because she was the part of the blessing I saw in God's promise of chastness, patience, and humilty. When Rachel played with my heart, put me down, and said ill things about my mental health and my mother I died inside. To this day my heart is broken so bad I don't even believe that loving a woman is possible. I did believe in loving Rachel and Jonathan enough to put everything on the line. I want you to know this also
To Jessica,
The reason I write you because I see the Love of God in you and how much you love Children. I never met you but I watch your videos and read your blogs and Rachel would talk about you a lot. I love children that much too. They always smile at me they love to play with me, yet I have none of my own. Maybe Rachel thought she was justified in treating me as such but never again can she say a man did not love her and accept her religion. She failed to remember that I was also someone's son who had just lost a parent and that she was lying to me breaking all her promises. She makes it hard for single mothers to find a good relationship by constantly playing with men. Rachel was the only woman I ever wanted to have children with and to love her son meant a lot to me. I wanted to be the full time Dad to him that he deserves. Just playing with him a couple of days and his mannerisms let me know that he was special and that I could give him that time and wanted to devote my life to Rachel and Jonathan. People in my family are saddened and some still hate Rachel for how she treated me because I had so much love for Jonathan and She. I didnt care if I was poor. I didnt care about giving up my life. I even was going to finish my schooling by correspondence from Canada if I had too and I would have flew every month to see Rachel and Jonathan and Rachel and I was courting her for marriage and I would have waited 7 years if she had of been patient but one thing I know and I know to this day dear Myatts, Bakers, and Friesens. I did and do love Rachel and Jonathan with all my heart so I write you this today.
In one brief moment Jessica your sister destroyed my faith in women, in love, in single mothers and in trusting people. As for her being a good Christian woman. You dont taunt or put down someone who loves you because they are grieving and so I dedicate this song to you Jessica and her called "Missing" so that you can see how believing in your sister left me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXU0gEVwILs
To the entire family,
Nothing I have written has been to embarrass you or hurt you but to give you a window into just how deeply Rachel hurt me, how serious what she said and did was, and how using your faith to hurt others instead of heal is unacceptable. One of my best friends is one of my ex's from Winnipeg Manitoba Canada named Amber and though its been since 2004 since she broke my heart, we got over it because we realized that God had given us something more important than any romantic relationship and that is love. I was the one who had to forgive because she cheated on and left me for someone who eventually gave up and committed suicide. Did I laugh and her face and say nah nah nah nah nah you get what you deserve? Why no I came at her with love and in 2012 we are still the best of friends. I believe Rachel loves me and I believe people mislead her to believe that I wasnt right for her because they didnt take the time to understand what I was going through. You mistook my grief for unhappiness, my kindness for weakness, my need to be hugged and to cuddle with being needy, and just my openness as a form of self loathing. You didnt really want to know me but I know how some people judge me I have had it happen my whole life. I just want you to know for Christmas 2012 the only gift I want is Rachel Myatt's love and peace with the Myatt, Friesen, and Baker family. I want the Church of The New Jerusalem to take heed to the Newsletters that I have sent out, I want people to read this blog and know I never gave up on Rachel and Jonathan, Rachel gave up on me. To this day my heart yearns and belongs to her. I am sorry for a lot of the harsh things I said but some of them I am not and they needed to be said so Rachel knows the extent of what she said and did. Rachel Myatt I still believe in you with all my heart and that you are my best friend. Maybe you were scared because a guy came along and did and said what he was going to do where others had failed you. I didnt want you because you are pretty, or because of anything superficial. I wanted you because I loved the person inside. I wanted to make love to you because you were my best friend I didnt want you for sex. I wanted you and Jonathan as a package my future wife and my son. I love you both dearly and if you truly want to be of love and charity as Swedenborg teaches then give each of us the greatest gift of all reconcilation and forgiveness. I cannot stress that enough if you cant find it in your heart to do that then the next best thing is to set me free. write me a letter telling me why you treated me as you did. Send me an email and then I can move on to maybe love someone else. I will stop the blog and my campaign but if you read this or anyone in your family reads this you can set me free. I want to use the last example of the movie when Astrid ask her mother to set her free and leave her alone to live her life. I am asking you Rachel Myatt to set me free. You may have thought you could just go back to living your life as before you were with me and that I was just supposedly magically forget you exist but I loved you and you manipulated and played with the fact that I wanted a family and when you couldnt handle or truly get to know who I was you bailed. You were cruel, wreckless with your words, and unlady like. You cant hide form fate and I am still alive and I am still sharing this story so its up to you how the story ends. You have broken my heart into so many pieces yet I still believe in you and Jonathan. I will conclude with the part of the video and a couple of statements the rest is up to you Rachel Myatt
In the first video watch from 6:05 till the end and in the second one watch from the beginning till 4:45. Sometimes people are so selfish and one sided they only see their own pain and they dont look to see how they affect others and that is one of the points I have been trying to make about Rachel and I having a relationship. I had lost so much but yet I was still willing to give everything despite losing my mother and I even had to fight just to get my passport on time to be with Rachel and Jonathan. Rachel on the other hand it was all about her. She didnt care about what I wanted, or how I felt, or what her actions actually meant. She didnt even think that there were consequences to anything she did. She just wanted to live her life carefree like I didnt exist and that my pain didnt matter just as Ingrid did in leaving Astrid with Annie for a year. We chose to be selfish in life and it does have consequences. These past months I have been saddened by the fact that Pastor Coleman Glenn would get married and publicly speak on his internet relationship while downplaying the fact that I loved Rachel in much of the same way and say that my love was not right. It seems that people in the New Church pick what is good only when it benefits them. That is not a doctrine of God that is a doctrine of man and how can we say one thing to a person and do another especially a supposed Servant of God. I just wanted everyone to know exactly why I have kept up this campaign and blog. I want Rachel, and the Myatt family to realize just how deeply Rachel and their actions have hurt me and how hypocritical and contradictory they are. My heart is full of nothing but love for you all so I end this blog today with a couple of words.
Rachel Myatt you are my Best Friend. I love you through Christ. I want you back in my life. If you or your family cannot see the beauty and how much I love you and Jonathan through this blog or anything I have written or done in the past then set me free by making peace with me and I will be out of your life forever. I promise to take the blog down, stop the campaign of love, and anything else you might find offensive if Rachel has the courage to make peace with me. I love you and Jonathan with all my heart Rachel and for Christmas I want the gift of our friendship back. No material presents from anyone, I want prayers, I want grace, I want to hear your voice again. I love you and I would go to the edge of the earth for you and Jonathan. God bless you and all you family.
Amen!
Above is the first almost 20:00 minutes of the film based on the hit novel White Oleander by Janet Fitch. It tells the story of Astrid Magnussen and how her mother Ingrid Magnussen influences her after she murders her boyfriend and is sentenced to 35 to life, thus Ingrid begins her trip through the Foster Parent system.
I want to make things clear why I am using these movie clips and and this particular movie. Rachel and some of her sisters are Foster Mothers. I could not believe how she treated me as I believed she was nuturing and caring but I found out she was cold and calculating much as Ingrid the mother in the is in the book and movie. Rachel was my best friend I believed in her and her family and at a time when my mother had just passed away my girlfriend and her family meant everything to me. All I had here at home was my brother and my father who I am not close to. I still am not close to my father but he is very sick and I have been watching over him the past year or so. Soon I may not have either parent but no one could ever say I didnt do the right thing or show love even to the parent who abused me and did not treat me well. I tried to explain to Rachel and her mother Jane about being abused and they took that as me being mentally ill. I was just telling a story that was an essential part of who I become. In fact sometimes I am glad my father was so cruel to me and my mother because one I learned how to love women better by not following in his footsteps and seeing my mother hurt by his behavior all the time.
Rachel if you or Jessica are reading this then you need to know one thing. I love Rachel with all my heart and what I am about to say is from the deepest regions of my heart and as Foster Mothers you should know. Rachel and Jonathan were the loves of my life and all I ever wanted to do was raise a big family with Rachel. Whether the children were my blood children or they were Jonathan who I would have raised like my own flesh and blood Rachel was the woman I wanted a family with. There was and has been no one else as I have only desired to marry one other person in my 37 years on this planet. God has instilled a love in me much greater than you or your family could know and after the years of abuse, lies, and let downs I had in life. With Rachel I finally felt that I had purpose, design, and love and I wanted to love all the Myatts and Friesens and through my mother dying when she did she gave me her love and freedom to finally go achieve my dream. I always stayed close to my mom because I knew she was sick afraid to truly just leave but I was free to be with Rachel and Rachel never understood that. She never understood how special she and Jonathan were to me. All the scars, the false I love you's from other women. All the hurt and pain of rejection when other women passed my heart along felt like a child being passed through the system without a forever family. I want the Myatts and Friesens and anyone that reads this to know that with Rachel I finally felt like I was home. Through my hurt as a teen and early 20s I could have turned to the bottle, drugs, I could have womanized and treated woman as an object but I chose to be a straight edge Christian. I could have gotten revenge on all those women who hurt me by sleeping with multiple women but I saved myself for Rachel in the end because she was the part of the blessing I saw in God's promise of chastness, patience, and humilty. When Rachel played with my heart, put me down, and said ill things about my mental health and my mother I died inside. To this day my heart is broken so bad I don't even believe that loving a woman is possible. I did believe in loving Rachel and Jonathan enough to put everything on the line. I want you to know this also
To Jessica,
The reason I write you because I see the Love of God in you and how much you love Children. I never met you but I watch your videos and read your blogs and Rachel would talk about you a lot. I love children that much too. They always smile at me they love to play with me, yet I have none of my own. Maybe Rachel thought she was justified in treating me as such but never again can she say a man did not love her and accept her religion. She failed to remember that I was also someone's son who had just lost a parent and that she was lying to me breaking all her promises. She makes it hard for single mothers to find a good relationship by constantly playing with men. Rachel was the only woman I ever wanted to have children with and to love her son meant a lot to me. I wanted to be the full time Dad to him that he deserves. Just playing with him a couple of days and his mannerisms let me know that he was special and that I could give him that time and wanted to devote my life to Rachel and Jonathan. People in my family are saddened and some still hate Rachel for how she treated me because I had so much love for Jonathan and She. I didnt care if I was poor. I didnt care about giving up my life. I even was going to finish my schooling by correspondence from Canada if I had too and I would have flew every month to see Rachel and Jonathan and Rachel and I was courting her for marriage and I would have waited 7 years if she had of been patient but one thing I know and I know to this day dear Myatts, Bakers, and Friesens. I did and do love Rachel and Jonathan with all my heart so I write you this today.
In one brief moment Jessica your sister destroyed my faith in women, in love, in single mothers and in trusting people. As for her being a good Christian woman. You dont taunt or put down someone who loves you because they are grieving and so I dedicate this song to you Jessica and her called "Missing" so that you can see how believing in your sister left me.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wXU0gEVwILs
To the entire family,
Nothing I have written has been to embarrass you or hurt you but to give you a window into just how deeply Rachel hurt me, how serious what she said and did was, and how using your faith to hurt others instead of heal is unacceptable. One of my best friends is one of my ex's from Winnipeg Manitoba Canada named Amber and though its been since 2004 since she broke my heart, we got over it because we realized that God had given us something more important than any romantic relationship and that is love. I was the one who had to forgive because she cheated on and left me for someone who eventually gave up and committed suicide. Did I laugh and her face and say nah nah nah nah nah you get what you deserve? Why no I came at her with love and in 2012 we are still the best of friends. I believe Rachel loves me and I believe people mislead her to believe that I wasnt right for her because they didnt take the time to understand what I was going through. You mistook my grief for unhappiness, my kindness for weakness, my need to be hugged and to cuddle with being needy, and just my openness as a form of self loathing. You didnt really want to know me but I know how some people judge me I have had it happen my whole life. I just want you to know for Christmas 2012 the only gift I want is Rachel Myatt's love and peace with the Myatt, Friesen, and Baker family. I want the Church of The New Jerusalem to take heed to the Newsletters that I have sent out, I want people to read this blog and know I never gave up on Rachel and Jonathan, Rachel gave up on me. To this day my heart yearns and belongs to her. I am sorry for a lot of the harsh things I said but some of them I am not and they needed to be said so Rachel knows the extent of what she said and did. Rachel Myatt I still believe in you with all my heart and that you are my best friend. Maybe you were scared because a guy came along and did and said what he was going to do where others had failed you. I didnt want you because you are pretty, or because of anything superficial. I wanted you because I loved the person inside. I wanted to make love to you because you were my best friend I didnt want you for sex. I wanted you and Jonathan as a package my future wife and my son. I love you both dearly and if you truly want to be of love and charity as Swedenborg teaches then give each of us the greatest gift of all reconcilation and forgiveness. I cannot stress that enough if you cant find it in your heart to do that then the next best thing is to set me free. write me a letter telling me why you treated me as you did. Send me an email and then I can move on to maybe love someone else. I will stop the blog and my campaign but if you read this or anyone in your family reads this you can set me free. I want to use the last example of the movie when Astrid ask her mother to set her free and leave her alone to live her life. I am asking you Rachel Myatt to set me free. You may have thought you could just go back to living your life as before you were with me and that I was just supposedly magically forget you exist but I loved you and you manipulated and played with the fact that I wanted a family and when you couldnt handle or truly get to know who I was you bailed. You were cruel, wreckless with your words, and unlady like. You cant hide form fate and I am still alive and I am still sharing this story so its up to you how the story ends. You have broken my heart into so many pieces yet I still believe in you and Jonathan. I will conclude with the part of the video and a couple of statements the rest is up to you Rachel Myatt
In the first video watch from 6:05 till the end and in the second one watch from the beginning till 4:45. Sometimes people are so selfish and one sided they only see their own pain and they dont look to see how they affect others and that is one of the points I have been trying to make about Rachel and I having a relationship. I had lost so much but yet I was still willing to give everything despite losing my mother and I even had to fight just to get my passport on time to be with Rachel and Jonathan. Rachel on the other hand it was all about her. She didnt care about what I wanted, or how I felt, or what her actions actually meant. She didnt even think that there were consequences to anything she did. She just wanted to live her life carefree like I didnt exist and that my pain didnt matter just as Ingrid did in leaving Astrid with Annie for a year. We chose to be selfish in life and it does have consequences. These past months I have been saddened by the fact that Pastor Coleman Glenn would get married and publicly speak on his internet relationship while downplaying the fact that I loved Rachel in much of the same way and say that my love was not right. It seems that people in the New Church pick what is good only when it benefits them. That is not a doctrine of God that is a doctrine of man and how can we say one thing to a person and do another especially a supposed Servant of God. I just wanted everyone to know exactly why I have kept up this campaign and blog. I want Rachel, and the Myatt family to realize just how deeply Rachel and their actions have hurt me and how hypocritical and contradictory they are. My heart is full of nothing but love for you all so I end this blog today with a couple of words.
Rachel Myatt you are my Best Friend. I love you through Christ. I want you back in my life. If you or your family cannot see the beauty and how much I love you and Jonathan through this blog or anything I have written or done in the past then set me free by making peace with me and I will be out of your life forever. I promise to take the blog down, stop the campaign of love, and anything else you might find offensive if Rachel has the courage to make peace with me. I love you and Jonathan with all my heart Rachel and for Christmas I want the gift of our friendship back. No material presents from anyone, I want prayers, I want grace, I want to hear your voice again. I love you and I would go to the edge of the earth for you and Jonathan. God bless you and all you family.
Amen!
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