Dear Readers,
The other day I wrote a blog about my favorite Disney Movies and that Gisselle is my 3rd favorite Disney Princess next to Ariel "The Little Mermaid" and Merida in "Brave". I started this blog in January of 2011 to let Rachel Myatt know that I Love her more than she will ever know. I have sent letters around the World to the New Church passed out fliers. I have even put up ads on Craigslist and countless other things. They were not to embarrass Rachel they were to show her that no matter how the other men in her life had hurt her and let her down I truly loved her and though she wanted me to hate her and she wanted me to be mean to her I could not. I truly am in love with you Rachel Myatt and I couldn't imagine loving or being anywhere else but in your arms and raising a family with you and Jonathan in my life. You have broken my heart into so many pieces because you played my dream not knowing how deeply my dream was rooted in being with you. I still can't imagine being with anyone else and though I have dated and tried in the 2yrs since, God keeps leading me back to you and says do not give up on you. I don't hate you. I hate what you did to me and what you represented when you did it. I hate the actions, the doctrine, and the lies you told. Maybe if you or anyone in your family watch this little video then you will know how much I still love and care for you. I would still walk the ends of the earth for you and you are the one I will never stop loving. I would be dead by now if their wasn't one more reason I had to live. I am going to tell you all how much Rachel means to me and why living without her is killing me because she is my one true love. In the video and ending message for today below I will end this blog today by telling you about how dead I am inside and the only reason that I exist as a body but mainly it is because of love.
If you haven't read my blog or realized I lost my mother at the age of 59 in 2010. My father was diagnosed with heart problems and a rare blood disease shortly after my mom died. I only have a little brother who is 33 and that is it. I have couple of cousins, aunts, and uncles left. My grandmother is 90 and every since my mom died she has not been the same she lost two other children but she really favored my mom. When I knew my mom was going to die the thought of not being without Rachel and Jonathan hurt me and when she just abandoned me and said all those cruel things about my character not knowing how much personal struggle I had been through my heart was broken even more. I thought she was my true friend and understood the bond we had and why I choose her. In February this year my dad will turn 62 and will find out whether he is going to live or not. One of the things he will need is a Bone Marrow transplant. Physically I am healthy enough to be the donor but every since Rachel left me. I havent had a day of peace or a true smile or happiness since she bailed on me. So inside I am dead. I am just holding on to do this favor for my dad and then I can let go. Rachel if you cant look at the "Enchanted" video, look back at this blog, all the letters. and everything to see how much I love you then I might as well go. I am not leaning or placing my life as a burden on you. I am just telling you that I love you so much that without you and Jonathan in my life, life isnt worth living and that is how I knew you were the one and I will never love again. So anyone that reads this blog and thinks how selfish I am, Why cant I just get over Rachel, Why dont I let it go. You have truly never loved anyone with all your heart and been deeply in love.
I effectively end this blog today with a plea for Rachel to come forward if not I want her to know I loved her so much it killed me eventually.
The End
No comments:
Post a Comment