Disabilities and Accepting Who We Are : Gifts, Flaws, and Insecurities. (Loving Each Other For The Greater Good)

Dear Readers, This is in response to Rachel ever making fun of me or saying that I was mentally ill while I was grieving.  If anyone in her family coerced her to think this way or tell her she should not be with me because of their thinking this then they are very sick and cruel people.  I was 3 weeks short of losing the woman who gave me life and who took care of me no matter what, my mother.  So I want to say this today.  With all the truly mentally ill people shooting, killing, and hurting people there are some people who have suffered and dealt with mental illness who are amazing people.  I have never been diagnosed with a mental illness but I will tell you about someone who was who lives a full life and contributes to society, has children, adoring fans, and is not only an author of adult and children books but has been a touring musician for almost 30 plus years.  Above is a song from Throwing Muses 1995 album "University" it is called "Shimmer" to me it represented Kristen Hersh their lead singer dealing with all that was thrown at her despite what she was dealt in life and just shining. By this time Throwing Muses had been around since 1981.  She has a never give up attitude and is someone that just goes out and does what she loves.  She doesn't worry about people putting her down, making fun of mental illness, and she even wrote a book about dealing with it called "Rat Girl" which I sent a copy to Rachel.  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rat_Girl  this is taken from that Wiki page "The book chronicles a year (1985–1986) in her life during which time Throwing Muses gained fame, signed a recording contract with 4AD, and recorded their eponymous debut album, Throwing Muses.^[2] Other notable subjects discussed at length in the work are Hersh's friendship with actress Betty Hutton, her much-publicized^[3] battle with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder and hospitalization, her pregnancy with her first child, and the experience of the band in the local music scenes in Providence, Rhode Island and Boston, Massachusetts at the time." Do you see the part in red? Battle with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder? It is 2012 and that book was written about a person in 1985-1986.  So I ask when hypocritical and judgmental people like Rachel say such evil things especially to someone who loved her as much as I did,  It is no wonder this blog is something people want to read and that I have kept it up. Rachel you are someone who claims to be positive but you continue to hurt people with that disolution and your own insecurities.  Look at all this woman has done even with so called bi polar disorder.  She is amazing and I look up to women like her.  She is on the level of your sister Jessica, Rachel (even though I never met her she has that aura) for people who I would label extraordinary.  She is a polymath  "A polymath is a person whose expertise spans a significant number of different subject areas. In less formal terms, a polymath (or polymathic person) may simply be someone who is very knowledgeable"  You know you and your family disgust me with the fact that both through your faith and your personal life you claim to be so full of love, open minded, and non judgmental but you were so critical and hateful toward me when all I did was accept not only your faith, your life, you and your child, and you were just horrible.   To this day I still love you but I question if that love will ever be more than an excuse not to hate you now.  I am really trying and praying.  I am so sick of people who are so insecure with themselves that they have to put down others. Rachel regardless of if you have a boyfriend now no one is going to stay with you because you are selfish, you say no one accepted your faith its not the faith they cant accept its the attitude in which you use your faith as a crutch.  You are unkind to the people who love you and who care about you, you shut people out, and you are not strong willed you are an opinionated narcissist.   I am not sorry for this blog and I only wanted to use one of my heroines as an example of someone who may have dealt with mental illness but proved everybody wrong.  For every guy or girl we have shooting up and killing people and harming others there are ten good people in the world who just want to live a normal life.  If I was mentally ill I would be proud of it and do the best I could to get help and my true friends and family would be there to support me.  What I got from Rachel and the Myatt family was judgment, insensitivity, and dismisal and none of them ever knew what I was going through because Rachel had never lost a parent before.  My mother loved Rachel so much that she only wanted me to go love and live my life with and for Rachel and Jonathan and that was her final blessing to me besides blessing Rachel and the Myatt family.  I never saw my mother conscious again so that was her last words for me and I sometimes regret that Rachel and her evil soiled that beautiful moment and with her not reaching out to make peace with me my soul will be forever hurt.  You caused a lot of damage Rachel Myatt but I am just going to do what I love,  I am going to tell my story, and I am going to let others know about how the New Church treats people and at the end of the day you will have to deal with the consequences of how your selfish and hurtful act brought negativity and reproach not only on the New Church but on your family, you, and Jonathan.   I have nothing but blessings and love for your son and God knows I love him so much and I wish none of this to harm him because he is a child.  To this day the picture is up because I love both of you not to bring a child into this battlefield.  If only you knew that in your heart Rachel.  I want to end this blog on one last note about judging people.  We may not know what is in another persons heart so who are we to judge.  The only reason Rachel got judged and called out is because by me she was loved, accepted, and I cared about her but she choose to judge, be cruel, and make up things that supported her own selfish agenda for treating me the way she did.  Even Jesus helped those who were mentally ill instead of put them down He wanted them to live a good life full of love and happiness. 

1. Matthew 17:14-27

• Jesus Heals a Demon-Possessed Boy

¹⁴ When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. ¹⁵ “Lord, have mercy on my son,” he said. “He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. ¹⁶ I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him.” ¹⁷ “You unbelieving and perverse generation,” Jesus replied, “how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me.” ¹⁸ Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed at that moment. ¹⁹ Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, “Why couldn’t we drive it out?” ²⁰ He replied, “Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you.”

That is one example of Christ and in it I take solace in my believing in God and putting Him first in this matter between Rachel and I despite what some of the New Church Pastors have said in discouraging my campaign.  My friends and family have been supportive because they have taken the time to see what is in my heart. 

 

 

 

• Matthew 6:25-34

Do Not Worry

²⁵ “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? ²⁷ Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? ³¹ So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ ³² For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. ³³ But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. ³⁴ Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. So I ask Rachel and her family.  Why is it so hard for Rachel to make peace with someone who loves her so much.  Why did she have to say the things in the first place that were said or who put ideas in her head to be so cruel?  You want this to go away but you are forgetting that as long as I live I am free to do as I want also.  I am a peaceful man, you will never catch me trying to do anything violence.  I use words as my weapon and love as my guide.  I love God and through Christ I love Rachel.  Maybe sometimes it doesnt seem like it to you because of the anger or hurt I have displayed but it is there and if I didnt truly love Rachel Myatt through Christ then this blog would be done, the hope of peace would be done, and lots of harmful things would have occured on both ends but I believed in the love both Christ and my Mom spoke of and to this day "I LOVE RACHEL MYATT"